If You Need Me
by Thessilian
Summary: Commander Jane Shepard has been gone for two years and everyone she had known has moved on. When even Kaidan lets her down, her old friend Garrus is still there, standing by her side.
1. Chapter 1 Archangel

**Archangel**

He's finally losing it. Two years of grief, pain and betrayal and somehow it still all comes back to her - Commander Jane Shepard.

It's all over. Trapped and alone, he's been biding his time picking off mercenaries one by one as they try to wear him down. He's thinned their ranks by a decent margin in the last eighteen hours when they wise up. Suddenly people pour across the bridge, no uniforms and no decent weapons even, just cannon fodder for his sniper rifle.

He narrows his eye, sighting down the scope, picking them off easily as they scatter into cover. One by one, he targets and drops them, blood spreading across the stained concrete floor into slick pools.

That's when he sees a familiar figure standing in the shadows. Tall, slender, human – and instantly recognisable. Someone he's not seen for over two years. Someone he never thought he'd see again.

His talons are shaking as he moves his sniper scope towards it, using the scope to confirm his instincts. The human levels their gun and starts to attack the mercs; killing them, protecting him. As he focuses on the human's face he gasps, rumbling deep in his armour-plated chest.

Commander Jane Shepard. His oldest and best friend. She's alive and she's coming for him.

His chest tightens, his breathing rasping in his throat as he automatically keeps sniping at the mercs. Between shots he watches her fighting her way towards him, everything about her bringing back memories; the way she handles her assault rifle, the way she dips to one knee to minimise her profile, how she rolls to one side, ejecting the heat sink, and instantly fires off more suppressing rounds as she comes to a halt. A couple of humans tag along in her wake and even that reminds him of old times. Missions with Alenko and Williams, saving the galaxy one more time.

He shakes his head, clacking his mandibles and forcing himself to concentrate on the enemy creeping towards him. He fires a few warning shots above Shepard's head, keeping the mercs behind her at bay.

Her footsteps are on the stairs but her scent drifts ahead of her. Any doubt he had is erased as he inhales. No-one else smells like her, period. He wants to turn, but he can't bring himself to move, his eyes relentlessly scouring the bridge for invading troops.

She strides into the room, flanked by her two new companions, their weapons lowered. "Archangel?"

She doesn't recognise him in his full helmet. She doesn't know that hidden behind a stupid nickname is her old friend. He nods without looking around, taking a moment to gather himself. He head-shots a merc stupid enough to try and peek out at him and then releases a shuddering breath. Lowering his gun, he leans back on the ledge casually, removing his helmet and clasping it tightly to hide his trembling talons. Her eyes widen in surprise and his mandibles shift into a wide Turian smile.

"Shepard," he rumbles. "I thought you were dead."

"Garrus!" She opens her arms and moves towards him with a huge grin. "What are you doing here?"

"Just keeping my skills sharp, a little target practice," he growls, enjoying the feel of her arms as she hugs him. He takes a deep breath, and the scent of human flowers that clings to her hair tickles his nose.

"You okay?" She asks as she steps back from him.

Garrus shrugs, his talons flexing on his helmet as he feels the stress seeping out of him. He doesn't trust his fatigued legs to hold his weight, so he stays seated. "Been better. But it sure is good to see a friendly face. Killing mercs is hard work, especially on my own." He kicks at the expended heat sinks littering the floor around him.

"We're here now. You're not alone anymore." Shepard lifts her assault rifle and taps it against her shoulder. "What are you doing here anyway?"

He glances behind him at the bridge, smiling to himself at how determined she is. He's missed it. Her. "Ever since you died, things got a little got a little crazy. First the Alliance started to deny the Reapers even exist, and then all the usual Citadel bureaucratic crap got too much. Figured I could do more good on my own." He snorts and points to the corpses littering the bridge behind him. "At least it's not hard to find criminals here. All I have to do is point my gun and shoot."

"Only you could manage to piss off every major merc organisation in the Terminus Systems." She shakes her head, the amusement never leaving her eyes.

"It wasn't easy. I reeeally had to work at it." He jokes, pleased to hear Shepard laugh again. "I am amazed that they teamed up to fight me, they must really hate me."

Shepard punches his shoulder gently, her gloved hand clanking on his metallic blue armour. "And since when did you start calling yourself Archangel?"

His mandibles shift into a grin. "It's just a name the locals gave me, for all my good deeds. I don't mind it, but please...it's just 'Garrus' to you."

She nods and then glances back at the two humans standing silently behind her. One, a tall, dark haired woman, is watching their exchange avidly, while Garrus notices that the other, a dark skinned male, has moved protectively closer to Shepard.

He finds it hard to look at her, his gaze sliding away from her bright smile, her soft eyes, to dart around the room, before being inescapably drawn back to her face. Even when she was with Alenko, he can't remember ever seeing a smile like the one she's giving him and for the first time in years, he feels warm again, inside.

"Well, we got here okay, but I don't think getting out will be as easy." Shepard tilts her head, waiting for his assessment.

He scans the area behind him again, still quiet. "No it won't. That bridge has saved my life...funnelling all those witless idiots into a narrow range. But it works both ways. They'll slaughter us if we try to get out that way."

The dark haired woman snorts in annoyance. "So we just sit here and wait for them to take us out?"

"It's not all that bad. Let's wait for a crack in their defences and take our chances." He sees Shepard raise an eyebrow and he shrugs back, his mandibles widening. "It's not a perfect plan, but it's a plan."

Shepard shakes her head, her smile undiminished. "Garrus, how'd you get yourself into this mess?"

He turns away from her, looking back over the bridge. "My feelings got in the way of my better judgment. It's a long story. I'll make you a deal; you get us out of here alive and I'll tell you the whole damn thing."

She moves to his side, her assault rifle levelled at her shoulder, as another wave of attacks commences. He feels almost dizzy, smelling her, seeing her; it's like the past two years have disappeared. There are changes, a mess of scars on both cheeks and her hair is shorter, but it's her.

Garrus keeps sniping across the bridge, conscious of her standing so close that he could touch her, but he keeps his eyes on the enemy. He frowns down his scope. "Hmm they've reinforced the other side...heavily. But they're not coming over the bridge yet. What are they waiting for?"

The room shakes as an explosion rips through the building, heat sinks rolling across the floor. Shepard stumbles to one side, lowering her gun.

"What the hell was that?" The dark haired woman shouts.

Garrus flips open his omni-tool, a growl rumbling through his chest. "Damn it. They've breached the lower level. Well, they had to use their brains eventually. You'd better get down there, Shepard. I'll keep the bridge clear."

She shakes her head, laying a hand casually on his shoulder. "I didn't come all this way to let you die. We'll split up two and two -- keep one of my team here with you."

"You sure?" He asks. "Who knows what you'll find down there."

She glares at him, and the steel in her voice when she speaks reminds him what makes her such a great Commander. "Miranda, stay with Garrus. Keep him alive for me."

"I'm not so sure splitting up is a good idea..." Garrus hears the dark skinned male start to complain to Shephard as they walk away.

He watches them until they're out of sight, two humans, soft and fragile, heading away from his protection, leaving him with the other woman – Miranda. "Who's that guy anyway?" His voice sounds gruff to his own ears, but it's not something a human could pick up on.

"Jacob. He's good, he'll help her." Miranda, replies, using her biotics to overload an engineer's shield.

"Hrmph," Garrus drills the engineer in the forehead with a single bullet. "I've heard that before."

"It's Jacob's job to look after her. Emotionally _and_ physically. She's a hefty investment." Miranda sprays covering fire to keep the mercs back before ducking behind the wall to let her shields recover.

Garrus knows enough about humans to tell that she would be considered beautiful, but there's something to her scent, a darkness, that makes his nostrils flare. Or maybe it's the Cerberus logo on her skin-tight white uniform. As for the comment about this new guy Jacob taking care of the Commander...

He levels his rifle and takes out three mercs in quick succession, his breath burning in his throat. "I've never..." _Bang._ "Known anyone need..." _Bang._ "To take care of Shepard." _Bang._

Miranda replies, her voice as cold. "You've never known her resurrected before. None of us have. That's why Jacob's there for her to lean on."

Garrus rumbles deep in his chest, not looking away from his sniper scope, his mandibles held tight to his cheeks. While he doesn't like Miranda, he accepts that she's right. He can barely process the idea of Shepard being alive; he can't imagine how she must feel coming back from the dead to all of this.

It feels like an eternity, but it's been less than five minutes when Shepard and Jacob reappear. He doesn't take his eye away from the scope, but he senses that she's moved to his side again.

"Only the Blue Suns left," she says. "I say we take our chances and fight our way out."

"I think you're right," he nods, lowering his rifle. "Tarak's got the toughest group, but nothing we haven't faced before. Besides, he won't be expecting us to meet him head on..."

He's interrupted by a loud chopping noise behind him and he sees a huge shadow fall across the room as a gunship hovers at the window.

"Heads up!" Miranda shouts.

"Archangel!" A voice booms into the room as he dives towards cover. But he's too slow, or the gunship is too fast, and he feels painful thuds across his body as bullets rip through his armour. Falling to his knees, he's crawling towards cover when he feels a scorching heat and something slams into his face.

He can hear them fighting but he can't move. He can see his blue blood pooling beneath his cheek, but his body won't respond. Shepard stands above him, a grenade launcher held tight to her chest and fury on her drawn features. He hears more mercs assaulting the room, but things go grey for a while and it somehow seems unimportant. It's warm where he is, he doesn't want to go back to the pain and the cold.

"Garrus!"

He's been resigned to death for so long now. He lost his team; he allowed himself to get pinned down. He didn't mind, he'd been doing the right thing. But now...now he knows that she's alive, that she needs him, he doesn't want to let go.

Garrus claws his way back, forcing the mist to clear, homing in on her voice as she murmurs his name. With a gasp, he opens his eyes and looks at her, kneeling beside him. He draws a shuddering breath, reflexively pulling his rifle closer.

"We're getting you out of here Garrus. Just hold on," her eyes are wide with fear. "Radio Joker; make sure they're ready for us. He looks bad."

Then it's all too much. His eyes slide closed and darkness swallows him.


	2. Chapter 2 Afterlife

**Afterlife**

Shepard paces up and down the comms room, her nails biting into her palms. She feels Jacobs's eyes on her again but she doesn't look up. The man never leaves her side, always lurking. There's something in the way he looks at her that reminds her of Kaidan but she doesn't have time for any of that kind of stupidity now.

"Commander, we've done what we could for Garrus, but he took a bad hit." Jacob reports. "The doc's corrected what she can with surgical procedures and some cybernetics. Best we can tell, he'll have full functionality, but..." Jacob shrugs.

She hears Garrus' footsteps on the metal flooring, his unique gait easily identifiable as he lopes towards the door. It hisses open and he leans casually against the frame. The right side of his face is covered by a metal plate, patched over the rock hard skin to cover the missile damage. His jaw is raw and his mandible looks less mobile than before. But she's used to Turian's now, especially Garrus. Even as he winces in pain, she can still tell that he's smiling at her.

"Shepard," he rumbles.

Jacob whistles, folding his arms, "Tough son of a bitch. Didn't think he'd be up yet."

Garrus doesn't look at Jacob, still smiling at her. "Nobody would give me a mirror. How bad is it?"

She itches to hug him again, but she crosses her arms and leans back onto her heels. "Hell Garrus, you were always ugly. Slap some face-paint on there and no-one will even notice," she drawls.

His laugh resonates through his chest, echoing musically. "Don't make me laugh damn it. My face is barely holding together as it is," he touches his scarred cheek with one talon. "Some women find facial scars attractive. Mind you, most of those women are Krogan..."

Shepard watches Jacob excuse himself, edging past the Turian's broad bulk filling the doorway.

Garrus waits in silence until the door hisses shut again. "Frankly, I'm more worried about you. Cerberus, Shepard? You do remember those sick experiments they were doing?"

Her eyes drift to the damage on his armour, burns and chunks missing that make her stomach flip. On this ship he's the strongest link to her old life, back when Cerberus was the enemy. Garrus went everywhere with her, a faithful shadow behind her and Kaidan; he always had her back.

"That's why I'm glad you're here Garrus. If I'm walking into hell, I want someone I trust at my side," she shrugs.

He looks at her for a moment, blue eyes unblinking. "You realise this plan has me walking into hell, too. Hah, just like old times." He laughs, a beautiful sound as it rumbles through his chest and throat. "I'm fit for duty whenever you need me, Shepard."

He moves as if to leave the room, but she holds up a hand. "Let's get the hell out of here," she punches his shoulder. "C'mon, we deserve a little R&R after two years apart. First round's on me."

"All right Shepard," his voice resonates though the room and she smiles as he drops into a loping stride beside her. "Maybe they won't recognise me as Archangel with this new face."

"I have run searches on reports for Archangel. The various mercenary groups believe him to be dead." EDI's modulated voice tells them.

"I died huh? Something else we have in common," Garrus grins.

#

Afterlife. The name of the club is pretty apt, Garrus snorts to himself as he carries their drinks back from the bar. Dodging past a drunken Volus and a particularly athletic Asari stripper, he slides into the booth next to the Commander and pushes her drink across to her.

She's on her fifth drink, the first four used up as she explained about her dramatic death and rebirth. Only a few days old, and she'd managed to find him. Typical Shepard.

She's the first person he's been able to tell about what happened, his mistakes, how Sidonis betrayed him and his squad. He'd followed her example, drawing together a team, fighting side by side against the darkness in the universe. She'd understood how he'd felt without him having to explain. How seeing his men gunned down had left him empty. She'd slid a hand over his talon and held it while they sat in silence.

Now, she's smiling at him as he nurses a Turian wine while she knocks back her strawberry daiquiri's.

"You always told me to try those straw berry things. I've still never got around to it, worried about having a bad reaction." He rumbles, his voice carrying over the pumping music. He watches her almost choke on her drink and snickers, his mandibles clacking out his humour.

"I think you're remembering wrong, I bought some for Kaidan and I, and all of you guys ate them before..." she goes quiet and he sees the light die in her eyes. He curses under his breath and rubs the back of his neck.

"Do you know where Alenko is?" Garrus asks. The neon lights flash, making her look pale and tired. For the first time, he notices the dark bruises under her eyes. She's about to speak when a shadow falls across the table.

"Commander?" Jacob asks, pausing by their table.

Garrus watches her draw herself together as she's done so many times before, the darkness blinked away as she turns from Shepard back into the Commander. She smiles at Jacob and it's as if Garrus had never mentioned Kaidan.

"Shepard, just wanted to check you were okay," Jacob reaches out a hand to touch her on the shoulder and moves to sit down.

"Back in a second," Garrus growls, pushing himself away from the table with enough force to rock their drinks. He fights his way through the crowds to the entrance of the club, pausing there to gasp at the cool air. Anger boils inside and he struggles to push it away. It's not her fault Jacob has come, of course she can be happy to see her crew mates. She's not just his Commander, he can't monopolise her time.

He starts to feel in control just as a soft body presses against his side. A pretty Asari stripper curls against him, her soft blue skin catching against his rough exterior. She flutters her eyelashes and presses her breasts against his arm.

"Have you ever tried an Asari before?" She purrs at him, running a hand down his chest. "I'll fire you into space, baby."

"Personally, I'm allergic to Asari," he counters, pulling his arm away and stepping backwards. "Turian's are just fine for my firing needs."

As he reaches the table, he finds Shepard alone again. "So who's the new friend?" She asks, one eyebrow raised.

"Oh very funny," he drawls, sliding into the seat. "It's not my fault I was born so pretty."

She laughs, attempting to nudge him in the ribs. "You're such a dog Garrus. I better warn the other women on the Normandy."

"Speaking of new friends, where's your new lapdog gone?" Garrus sips his wine.

"I ordered him away, told him we'd come for privacy." She shrugs, a smile creeping across her face. "I wanted to spend time with you, not him."

"Hah, at least your taste is getting better in your old age," he chuckles as he sips his drink.

"Who are you callin' old!" She pokes at his hide again. "You've got two years on me now."

"No way am I falling for that one, Shepard. You're such an old lady, you only died to let me catch up a little," he laughs at her indignant expression.

"I'm twenty-nine and you're what, twenty-five, twenty-six now? Barely a difference for our species."

He nudges her side gently, conscious of her squishy human flesh. "I suppose so. And you've got a brand new virgin body to break in, hmm?"

He sees a red blush creep up her cheeks as she gulps down her drink and has to re-think what he's just said. "Oh, I didn't mean… oh…" he stumbles.

She slides towards the bar, miming buying more drinks and he drops his face into his hands. What is it about her that reduces him to this bumbling idiot? He swigs down the remains of his wine as another Asari stripper wanders over to the table.

He holds up a talon, shaking his head, but she just giggles and wraps her arms around his neck, her semi-naked breasts thrust in his face. He leans back, squirming just as Shepard re-appears with their drinks.

"You're in my way," she scowls as the Asari backs away, hands in the air.

"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't think that Turian's and humans could... well...," the Asari smirks and wiggles her fingers suggestively, her curved hips swaying as she walks away.

Garrus doesn't look at Shepard as she sits next to him, but he can hear her half-stifled giggles. "Must be the armour," he mutters, picking at the bullet damage with his claws. "Woman do love a badass."

"Well, she found the ultimate badass in you." Shepard pushes his drink towards him and takes a long draw on her own.

"Don't remember you out drinking me before, Shepard," he muses.

She stares down at the table, her knuckles white where she grips the metal. "Yeah, well, back then I hadn't been brought back from the dead by my enemies, told all my friends are gone and that I'm needed for one more God damned suicide mission to save the universe yet again."

He feels like he's been kicked in the chest. There is no breath in his lungs, but he can't see him draw any more. The darkness under her eyes, the fact she looks thinner, angrier, it makes sense now. Brought back from the dead and instantly having a universe of stress dumped on her shoulders. How does she even get up in the mornings?

He reaches out and places his talons over her hand. "Not all your friends are gone," he whispers, the sound reverberating through his chest.

"Gawd, d'you see that?" A drunken voice shrieks. "The scars on that woman's face, hideous man. No wonder she's gotta hump a frikking lizard..."

Before he can even think, Garrus is standing at his full height, over a foot taller than the skinny human male. His arms are spread wide, his talons outstretched and he roars deep in his chest, the sound clearly audible over the loud music. The drunk drops his drink, his mouth wide open as he back peddles away.

Garrus considers giving chase when he hears her murmured 'thanks'. He pushes back against the rage and sits down again, moving close enough that he can feel her cool thigh against his own. "That guy was an idiot, you are the most perfect human I know."

She snorts, mouth half twisting in a smile. "I hope Kaidan still thinks so."

"Where is he anyway?" Garrus sips his drink, watching her face.

"I can't find him… but I'm looking." She peers at the bottom of her glass. "The Alliance won't tell me anything and the Illusive Man... Well, he delights in making my life harder," she shudders.

"Where ever he is, he'll be waiting for you." Garrus hardly tastes the wine. "For all of his many faults, Alenko wasn't stupid when it came to you."

She wrinkles her nose, "I've been dead longer than he'd even known me, never mind been with me. He could be married with kids by now..."

Garrus laughs, a short bark. "Even Alenko isn't dense enough to accept anything less after you."

Her cheeks flush and she bumps her shoulder against his. "Aww, Garrus, that was so sweet. You must be drunk."

He snorts, looking at his empty glass. "You're right. Let's get back to the ship before another Asari comes along and I make an ass of myself."

She stands up, one eyebrow raised at him. "I don't know, it might be worth staying to see that."

Her laugher follows him as he pushes his way through the crowd into the cooler air. They're heading towards the docks when she stumbles against him. Swivelling around, he catches her before she hits the floor, soft skin thumping hard against his plated arms.

"Shepard?" He rumbles as he pulls her upright against his chest. Her face is pale and he can feel her entire body trembling.

"I..." she shakes her head. "Sorry Garrus. I've not been sleeping, and with the drinks..."

"No matter," he tucks his arms around her and lifts her tight against his chest. "It's only a couple of minutes back to the Normandy."

He feels the strange silk of her hair against his shoulder as she rests her head against him. Even though she's tall for a human, she weighs next to nothing. And her skin feels cool against him. With no plating, he's careful where his talons touch her flesh. Her eyes flutter closed and he thinks she's gone to sleep when he hears a sigh and she whispers. "I missed you, Garrus."

He swallows, his mandibles opening and closing once before he replies. "You too Shepard. But I'll be here if you need me."


	3. Chapter 3 The Professor

**The Professor**

She doesn't remember going to bed, but she wakes up in her own room and her boots have been taken off. Soft music is playing and the fish in the aquarium have been fed. They swim lazily up to the glass, mouths opening and closing at her dazed expression.

She lies there for a moment, head a little sore, but the aching fatigue in her limbs is gone for the first time in days. The clock tells her how long she's slept; more last night than she's had in the whole past week.

"EDI?" She calls out, stretching.

"Yes Commander?" The ship's AI responds.

"How did I get to bed?" She sits up, her head light.

"Garrus brought you back from Afterlife. You were drunk," for an AI, EDI manages to sound disapproving. "He took you up to your room, then ordered that we let you sleep. We could only contact you if the Collectors attacked, or the universe ended. Whichever came first."

Shepard smiles at this. It sounds so perfectly like Garrus, looking after her, making sure she gets enough rest. He is always so focused on the mission; he wants his Commander in top form.

She strips off her soiled clothes on the way to the shower, stopping off at her desk. A picture of Kaidan stares up at her, his dark eyes filled with the warmth she remembers. She strokes a finger along the glass, remembering his tortured expression as she ordered him into the escape pods. He'd wanted to argue with her, but he'd bitten it back and gotten off the ship. She wonders how he feels now, if he ever thinks of her, if he blames her.

Wandering into the shower, she thinks back to what was only a month ago for her. Their only night together after weeks of flirting and dancing around the subject, just before that final trip to Ilos. It was the first time she'd opened up to anyone, he was the first man who had gotten under her skin. She can't think of anyone else she trusts like that, anyone she can rely on.

Due to his implants and migraines, they'd not had much chance for intimacy after that night, their last couple of weeks together strained by him worrying about Alliance regulations over fraternising or her being marched in front of another committee. As much as she cared for him, she had no idea how he'd feel after two years apart. One night together, however much fun, was hardly enough for Kaidan to pine for her for the rest of his life, whatever romantic notions Garrus had about human relationships.

Thinking of the Turian reminds her to pop down and thank him for taking care of her. He'd always been a rock in the past and it is good to know that she has him with her again. After the torment he'd had losing his team, she wants him to know that. She can't imagine facing the Collectors without him.

Pulling on a clean uniform, she untangles her wet hair with her fingers and calls the elevator. With one last glance at Kaidan's photo, she heads down to CIC.

Yeoman Kelly Chambers greets her with a smile and bounces on her feet. "How are you feeling Commander after your... uh... date with Garrus?"

"It was hardly a date, Kelly. He's just an old friend who shared a few beers," she grumbles, heading towards her console away from the excitable young woman. But she sees out of the corner of her eye that Kelly has followed, a grin on her face.

"Oh, but have you _seen_ how cute he is? With the scar and everything? I just want to hug him and tell him everything will be all right!" she sighs.

"Humans and Turian's don't mix, Yeoman Chambers. I really don't think he'd appreciate the allergic reaction." Shepard snaps. "I'd prefer it if you left him alone."

Kelly steps back, her eyes wide. "I see Commander... I hadn't realised it was like that between you."

"No, wait, it's not..." Shepard rubs between her eyes, frustrated. "Ah, never mind. Do what you want. Garrus is old enough to take care of himself."

But Kelly has already gone back to her station, a frown creasing her face as she taps on her keys. With a sigh Shepard pulls up the remaining dossiers and looks for the one she wants. The Professor - Mordin the Salarian.

#

Garrus could tell that Zaeed Massani hadn't expected Shepard to look the way she does. The mercenary had looked her up and down, abusing his prisoner to try and shock her. When she didn't even blink, he grudgingly agrees to meet her on the Normandy. Garrus had drawn his gun, unsure of the man, but as always Shepard commanded the instinctive loyalty of everyone she met.

Including him. He's following her into the quarantined district after shrugging off rumours that Turian's have a 100% mortality rate. She wants to send him back to the Normandy, he refuses to go. After a battle of wills, she relents, making him promise to tell her if he started to feel sick. He promises, knowing that he can easily lie to her if it's for her own good. He's never leaving her side again.

The rumours seem to be true though, as the stench of death mixes in with burning flesh, stinging his sensitive nose. Shepard and Jacob don't seem to notice it, so he keeps quiet. As his father always said, noses that do not smell, do not understand. Humans walked around oblivious to the intoxicating world of aromas that swirled around them.

Compared to the rest of Omega, the slums are a ghost town. Most of the houses are locked up tight and the only person they see on the street is a dying Batarian. Somehow Shepard stomachs his anti-human rhetoric long enough to hit him with some medi-gel. Garrus shakes his head at her kindness; he'd have let the Batarian fend for himself for talking to her that way.

"Do you think he has a point? Everyone dying except humans?" Shepard turns to him, her face troubled.

"I think there's every possibility that someone is up to something," Garrus nods. "Remember all those _experiments_ Cerberus used to do? The thresher maws, the dead scientists..."

Jacob glowers at him, shaking his head. "Cerberus isn't like that, they don't experiment on people."

"Really? I need to introduce you to my friend Corporal Toombs, or perhaps Admiral Kahoku. Oh wait, no I can't, he got killed. _By Cerberus_." Garrus growls.

"Garrus, stop taunting him." Shepard snaps. "Jacob, keep quiet. I need you both to focus on the mission right now."

Jacob frowns at him and he flares his mandibles back. Shepard might be happy to let the little Cerberus soldier come with them, but Garrus is going to make it clear that he's not welcome.

The next room shocks Garrus into silence, two Turian corpses lying half-mummified on the floor. Blue Suns mercs that have been locked away to die. Animalistic, is how Jacob puts it. Garrus can't bring himself to speak as he feels a tickling in his gullet. He coughs once, then swallows a few times, trying to clear his throat before she notices.

There are more mercs, more heads in his scope, but he's starting to feel strange, worn out. His throat is burning now and he's shivering. Shepard is focused on the mercs, so he sticks behind her. Jacob never looks at him, so Garrus thinks he'll be able to hold out until the clinic. He can still shoot straight. He can still protect her.

Soon it's turning into a raging fever and he can barely hold his rifle. He ponders telling her he can't go on, just as a merc takes her shield down and she has to duck for cover. Without even thinking, he squeezes off a round and the merc is on the floor.

She smiles at him, a blue glow covering her again as her shield regenerates. He nods back, resisting the urge to wipe at the sweat he can feel trickling down the back of his neck.

"Look, we're here," Shepard smiles at him again, pointing a gloved hand towards a glowing orange sign.

As they enter the clinic, Shepard is distracted by Jacob to look at some medical research. Garrus slips past them towards a fast talking Salarian in a medical uniform. The doctor scans him with an omni-tool and clucks his tongue. The skin on the side of his neck twinges as the doctor injects him with a solution.

"Turian physiology resilient with simple immunobooster. Should be fine now." Mordin says. He blinks twice and then scans Garrus again. "No, wait. Disease cured, something else? Other symptoms. What, hmm?"

Garrus isn't really listening to the doctors' stream of consciousness. He's watching Jacob as he guides the Commander around the room, holding on to her elbow and tugging her alongside him, pointing out interesting research to send back to EDI. He can't help the growl that forms deep in his chest as he sees the man's fingers gripping her armour.

"Oh, of course. Humans. Turians. Hormone driven species - dilated pupils, increased blood pressure, elevated heart rate, yes, yes." Mordin lowers his omni-tool. "Not sick, part of mating rituals."

That snaps Garrus back and he gawps at the doctor, his mandibles flapping. "What? Mating? Me? Shepard? Impossible, doc."

"Hard, certainly. Painful, most probably. Impossible, no, no." Mordin stares at Garrus with his wide, black eyes. Garrus isn't sure, but he thinks the Salarian might have just winked at him.

Garrus snorts and moves aside as Shepard approaches. Her eyes flick to him with a tiny smile, before she reaches out to shake the doctor's hand. Garrus almost smiles back and then thinks of the filthy minded Salarian and turns away, fiddling with the scope on his gun.

His head is clearer now and the fever that burned through his muscles has faded away. It was on him so quickly, he thinks the doc is right when he suggests Collectors and genetically modified germs to Shepard. Garrus can tell Shepard is impressed by the doctor as she pores over his research with him.

His eyes keep drifting to her face, watching how animated she is when she's talking to the Salarian. Her scars are barely noticeable in the dim light and she almost looks like the old Shepard. Not that he cares about scars, with his own mutilated face. Jacob has backed off a step and he's no longer touching her. Good.

Suddenly, the humming of the life-support grinds down and the doctor focuses back on the mission. Mordin fusses around his workstation until Shepard has a plague cure to insert into the ventilation systems.

Garrus knows it's not going to be as simple as the doctor hopes, and of course it isn't. Vorcha are in the area, hiding around the controls and the fans. The scary part is that Mordin was right, the usually mindless Vorcha are working for the Collectors, spreading this disease on their orders.

Jacob surprises him by being more useful than he looks. Garrus doesn't like the way the human sticks to Shepard though, never letting her get more than a few feet ahead. He's in Garrus' spot and it's annoying.

Once all the Vorcha are dead, Shepard turns to Garrus and smiles. "Good to see you're feeling better now. I was getting worried before we hit the clinic."

Garrus blinks, looking down at his rifle. He was sure she had no idea how ill he was. "Can't get anything past you Shepard."

"No, you can't," she punches his shoulder again. "But you promised to tell me if you got sick, so I knew it wasn't too bad. Right?"

He looks away from her trusting smile, his stomach sinking as he feels a little sick. How did he think he could lie to her? The guilt is almost painful.

Mordin is happy to meet them on the Normandy, so Garrus lopes beside Shepard as they exit the slums. Jacob stops to explain to the guard that the quarantine can be lifted, but Shepard keeps walking. Inches from her elbow, Garrus keeps a companionable silence until they pass the doors of Afterlife. A Turian man is sitting on the steps of the club with an Asari dancer giggling on his knee. Garrus remembers Mordin's earlier assumptions and grumbles half to himself. "I wonder what it's like. You know, _with_ an Asari?"

Shepard glances at him, her eyes narrowed. "What?"

"Well," he stumbles on, oblivious to her expression. "The whole cross species thing... Asari have kind of got it made. They can mate across all of us without problems."

Shepard crosses her arms, her lips thinning. "Is there a point to this, Vakarian?"

"No, I guess not," Garrus shrugs, throwing a final glance at the half-naked blue girl. "Just thinking out loud."

"Keep it in your pants, you're on a mission," Shepard frowns at him.

"What? Me? I don't want... Shep..." He sighs, rubbing a talon along his forehead. "I mean, look at us, we can't even eat the same food, drink the same drink without someone ending up visiting Doctor Chakwas."

She makes an angry grunt noise and he tries to explain himself one last time. "I guess I was thinking that relationships can be about more than just physical compatibility."

He can tell from the way Shepard just keeps glaring at him in silence that nothing he can say will rescue this conversation and for the first time since he's met him, Garrus prays for Jacob to hurry back.


	4. Chapter 4 The Convict

**The Convict**

"I still don't like it." Miranda folds her arms, leaning back against her chair. She uses her desk as a shield, keeping Shepard at a distance.

Shepard shrugs. "No-one says you have to. But you're not coming with me on the mission. I like my XO on the ship, in case of trouble."

Miranda narrows her eyes, her perfect face marred by a scowl. "That's not the real reason though, is it Shepard? You don't trust me."

Shepard watches Miranda's face for a few seconds, waiting as the time ticks past. Eventually she leans forward, her hand gripping the edge of the desk. "If the Illusive Man gave you an order that countermanded mine, who would you obey?"

Miranda is quiet, her blue eyes unblinking for a moment. "That's not fair."

"Perhaps not, but I'm not going out on a mission worried about who's at my back," Shepard shrugs. Not looking away. Not backing down.

"You'll take Jacob out with you," Miranda counters.

"Jacob's ex-Alliance, I trust _he's_ got his head on straight. And if I had…" She stumbles as her mind flashes a picture of Kaidan in front of her eyes, "my choice of teammates, Jacob would be going stir crazy on the ship right now, too."

"I've got your back, Shepard. Just give me a chance to prove it." Miranda asks.

Shepard nods, standing up with a stretch. "Sounds fair to me, I'll think about it. Goodnight Miranda."

"Night Shepard," Miranda smiles.

Padding barefoot from Miranda's office across the cool metal floor to her console, Shepard leans over and pops her personal terminal open. Most of the crew is asleep, so she feels safe to start her nightly routine. Searching for 'Kaidan Alenko', sending messages to anyone who knew him, hunting through Alliance news reports. Days of searching and still nothing…

She drops her head into her hands, the frustration bubbling inside her. She's served in the Alliance for years, she's saved so many people, hell, she's _died_ for them once and still they are giving her the run around. He's out of contact, he's undercover, it's classified.

"Shepard," a rumbling voice distracts her.

She straightens up, smoothing her creased face into a relaxed smile. "Garrus, what are you doing still up?"

The Turian saunters across the deck to stand beside her. It's the first time that she's seen him in casual clothing. He looks almost naked. It's distracting the way the soft cloth clings to his broad shoulders and tiny waist.

"I should be asking you that," he rumbles, stopping inches away, looming over her. "I distinctly remember you collapsing from lack of sleep last night. Want me to take you to bed again?"

She feels her jaw drop and she can't look away from his blue eyes. He's so close that she can feel the heat radiating off his body, and she can smell a musky leather scent that's usually hidden underneath his armour. She feels like a mouse in the presence of a predator, frozen as the owl's shadow passes overhead. "Garrus…I…um."

He blinks a couple of times, his mandibles twitching as he tries to understand her distress. "Oh. I meant _put_ you to bed again." He steps back with a laugh, his voice resonating deep in his chest as he shakes his head. "Human expressions. They always make me sound so _dirty_."

She doesn't reply, watching as his gaze drifts down to her screen. His face darkens, his mandibles drawing close into an expression she doesn't recognise.

"Still hunting for Alenko," there's no emotion in his voice now. "Any luck with that?"

She shakes her head, hitting a button to turn the screen off. "He's dropped off the grid. Not returning any messages. Don't even know if he still picks up from that account."

"You'll find him, Shepard. You found me, after all." He places his talons on her shoulder and she leans her head against them. She's so used to the cool metal of his gloves that she's surprised by how warm it is. She reaches up a hand and absently strokes one, tracing the sharp edges carefully.

"I guess I did," she muses. "First time out looking for crewmates and I find you. Fate is one kind lady."

"Why did you?" He steps closer to her again, his broad shoulders filling her vision. "I heard Jacob saying that the Illusive Man told you to go for Mordin first."

"Garrus," she chides, tilting her head back to smile up at him. "You should know by now, if someone orders me to do something, it becomes the _last_ thing I actually do."

He barks a laugh and she can feel the vibrations travelling through his hand. "And I lucked out having you come rescue me. It's about time though; you owe me about ten saves still."

"What?" She drops his hand, squaring up against him. "Are we still playing this game? You know full well I'm way up on you. Binthu, those turrets I saved your ass from. Ooh, or those mercenaries in Macedon. And remember that geth stalker who jumped you at Zhu's Hope?"

He snickers, tilting his head on one side like a bird as he examines her. "Human memories. Always _so_ selective."

"I did get my head bashed in by a Collectors ship," she pouts, poking him in the ribs. Her finger meets yielding flesh and they both look startled. "Hah, no armour," she blushes and pulls her hand back quickly.

"Shepard," the expression on his face startles her as he speaks. "I… I feel awful. I lied to you about that illness. I shouldn't…"

She reaches up a finger and places it across his mouth, shaking her head. His eyes widen, but he stops speaking. "Garrus, it's okay. I realised you were ill, but it was too late to do anything else. We had to get you to Mordin before…" she gulps and takes a deep breath. "I'd never have forgiven myself if you'd… all because I'm so selfish I couldn't leave you behind."

"Not your fault, I was the one who insisted in coming along," he shrugs, leaning closer. "I thought if I told you I was sick, you'd go on without me and… I couldn't leave you unprotected. I lost you once Shepard. I couldn't bear it again."

"You're my right hand man, Garrus," she holds his intent gaze. "When I saw you on Omega, you looked so tired, like you'd given up. And you were alone. What if I'd gone for Mordin first…?" She shivers. "I need you Garrus, you're my best friend. I can't do this without you."

She sees him open his mouth to reply when there's a low grumbling noise. It sounds like a baby Krogan, so she glances around, her eyes wide. "What the hell was that?"

Garrus takes a couple of steps back, wrapping an arm around his stomach. "That was… uh… me. My stomach. I was heading to the kitchens when I smelled you up and about."

"I could do with a snack. Shall we?" She holds out her arm, waiting for him. He just blinks at her, nonplussed, so she grabs his talons and hooks them around her elbow. She hears him huff as she pulls him along, and she can't help but laugh. But her amusement is short lived and they're both silent in the elevator, Shepard thinking about what he said while Garrus stands stoically beside her.

Sergeant Gardner isn't manning his usual spot, so the fridges are safe for them to raid. Shepard goes for the left hand levo-amino acid fridge, while Garrus squeezes past her to the dextro-amino one. She finds a plate of cold meatloaf and hacks off a couple of slices, chewing on one as she watches Garrus serve himself a bowl of grey jelly.

"That looks disgusting," she screws up her nose at him.

"If you could really smell that, whatever it is, you'd never eat it again," he replies, spooning up a mouthful of goo. "This might not be the tastiest food I've ever eaten, but it won't send me to the medbay, vomiting my guts up."

She looks at the half chewed slice of meatloaf in her hand and grimaces. "You have a real way with words, Garrus. What a gent."

He grins at her, his mandibles wide as he shovels in another mouthful. "You know who else is a gent? That Jacob. He's always holding open doors or helping you over obstacles."

For a moment, she almost jokes back, then she thinks of all the times Jacob has offer help to her. He's always looking at her, waiting for her orders, eyes always on her face. "He's ex-Alliance. Used to following orders." She shrugs, not believing her own words.

"If you say so Shepard," Garrus keeps eating, an annoying smirk on his face.

She watches him as he eats. It looks like he has no lips, but they're there, tough like rhino hide, shaping themselves subtly as he chews. His teeth are widely spaced and sharp, like a raptor from the old vids. She is fascinated when a slender tongue snakes out to lick at a piece of jelly on his lower lip.

She realises she's staring when he clears his throat, his bowl of gloop empty, the sound resonating both in his chest and around the mess hall.

He puts down the spoon and sits back. "So what's next, Shepard? An Asari, a Krogan – perhaps an Elcor?" he changes the subject.

"Hah, there _is_ a Krogan in the dossiers, but this next one is human. Jack, I think he's called." Shepard stretches, hiding a yawn behind her hand. Her full stomach is finally making her tired. "C'mon, let's get some rest."

As she's heading towards the elevator, she's sure she hears him grumbling about more human males getting in his way. She glances round, ready to tease, but is transfixed at the picture he makes. Tall, broad, long legged, striding forcefully towards the main battery, he looks both alien and magnificent and she finds herself breathless.

#

He really should be used to this. Turn up for a simple mission and things go to hell. It's like Shepard has a target on her back that invites morons to harass her.

When he arrives, he is impressed with the idea. A prison ship, Purgatory, floating in space and filled with the scum of the universe. The Warden explains that the astronomical costs are paid by planets wanting to keep the criminals away. Miranda seems happy to be off the Normandy and keeps asking questions and inspecting the facilities. Jack is notorious with guards and inmates alike for his rage. Everyone is relieved that Cerberus have bought him and that he'll be off the ship soon.

But it's when the Warden admits that Shepard is the most lucrative person ever to have been on the station that the bullets start to fly. This isn't a prison, it's a slave camp. If you don't pay to keep the criminals locked up, they get dumped back on your planet, with no warning. And the prices keep increasing.

The ambush is pitiful and it takes them moments to find the controls locking Jack in his cryogenic cell. Shepard hits the console and watches as a cell opens, the freezing gas roiling out across the room below.

"That's Jack?" Garrus hears the surprise in Miranda's voice as a scrawny, skin-painted girl crawls out of the tube. Garrus notices that, unlike most humans, her head is bare of hair and she seems to scorn clothing. On the upper part of her body anyway.

Jack drags herself out of her cell, snarling at the mechs that surround her. A biotic burst smashes them into pieces and Jack sprints off further into the prison.

"She's interesting," Garrus muses, hefting his sniper rifle to his shoulder.

"She's in trouble, let's pick her up." Shepard moves out.

Jack leaves a trail of destruction behind her and they follow past the dead Blue Suns mercenaries and wrecked mechs.

But it's the prison guards that have been massacred by the other inmates that make Garrus' nostrils flare. "Shows you what kind of people these prisoners are. I don't agree with everything they do here, but it's in the galaxy's best interests to keep these monsters locked up."

The Warden thinks he's safe behind his three force-field generators, but as soon as Shepard takes them down, Garrus places a single bullet between his eyes and the fight is over.

Shepard claps him on his shoulder, her gauntlets clanging on his blue metal armour. "C'mon, let's find this girl and get the hell off this rock." She wipes her sweat soaked hair out of her eyes and grins at him.

Jack is by the docks, glaring at the Normandy as she paces. She hears them approaching and drops into a crouch, her eyes flicking across their uniforms.

"Cerberus, great," she snarls.

"I'm not Cerberus," Shepard folds her arms. "And you're not stupid. There's one way off this station, and it's mine."

Jack straightens up, but Garrus keeps his talon on the trigger of his weapon. Her hands are still clenched, blue biotic power crawling across her knuckles.

"Let's make a deal. I come with you, you give me access to your files." Jack offers.

"Deal," Shepard nods. Miranda makes a noise, but quiets when Shepard holds up a hand.

Garrus smiles, he likes this turn of events. Anyone who hates Cerberus sounds like an ally. But he's fascinated by the markings on Jack's skin, moving closer to inspect them. Much more complex than the face paints his own species use, there's a richness of colour and design that's incredible. He leans down, his face inches from her as he examines the shapes adoring her back. He recognises an earth symbol, Omega, as he moves to the lines tattooed into her shaved skull.

"Garrus?" he hears the surprise in Shepard's voice. "What are you doing?"

"These paintings. Tattoos. I like them," he slides lower, now it's her flat chest in front of his eyes. "Are these feathers?" He asks, pointing to a large shape below her throat.

"Your Turian has his face in my boobs," the girl says, crossing her arms over her breasts and stepping back. "Make him stop."

Boobs? Oh, breasts. Turian females don't have them. He's pretty sure humans normally cover them up though. And this Jack didn't really seem to have any at all. He straightens, aware that he might have crossed another social boundary. Shepard looks annoyed, Miranda looks shocked. Yep, that's a new one for him to remember. Garrus sighs and returns to the Normandy, his head down.


	5. Chapter 5 Citadel

**Citadel**

"Five minutes to the Citadel, Commander," Joker alerts her over the intercom.

Shepard pulls herself away from the report, rubbing her eyes. "Be right there Joker, thanks."

She grabs her helmet and heads into the elevator, her stomach flipping with nerves. It is only a couple of weeks ago to her, but Garrus tells her that the Citadel has changed a lot in the past two years. When she'd dropped a sentient spaceship through the place, she'd apparently caused some damage.

She wanders through to the cockpit as the enormous space station pulls into view. Patting the back of Joker's chair, she leans over him to stare out. "I can see the changes from here."

"I've missed this place. How much R&R did you say we got, Commander?" Joker asks. "I need to find me a real woman before EDI tries to make me marry her."

"I am not interested in marriage, Mr Moreau." EDI's smooth voice interrupts. "I am rather more concerned with your chewing gum habits. I do not think the console will continue to work correctly if…"

Joker hits the mute button, miming a nagging voice. "Man, I have EDI, you have Garrus, no wonder we're always so stressed."

Shepard laughs, thinking about the Turian. "It's nice to have him with us again though. I miss the old crew."

Joker shrugs. "It's good that he finally worked that stick out of his butt, but now he seems hell bent on beating people to death with it."

Shepard blinks, looking down at Joker. "You think he's angry? He's always relaxed with me."

Joker rolls his eyes. "Shepard, he's…"

"Here." Garrus rumbles from behind her. "You wanted me to go with you, Shepard?"

She jumps, blushing as she straightens up. "If you were okay with that? I don't want to eat into your R&R time."

"No-one I'd rather be relaxing with," he backs up a step, giving her room to pass. "Lead the way."

The décor of the Citadel is the same since the rebuild, but it's strange to see so many humans running things.

"I thought it might be nice to come back here and see how it's changed," Garrus says. "But it's just like it was. Same dirty streets, same unrepentant scavengers, same revolving-door prisons. Being security here is a terrible job. This is exactly why I left."

The DNA scanner is new though. The Turian C-Sec customs officer is impressed at Garrus' record, saluting him as he passes through. But as Shepard is scanned, an alarm goes off and the guard looks nonplussed.

"I'm sorry Ma'am, but uh, it says here you're dead. Legally dead," he rubs his neck, looking embarrassed.

"Have you been telling more of your jokes, Shepard?" Garrus laughs, leaning against the exit doorway. "Those are pretty dead, too."

"Laugh it up, Garrus," she shakes her head before turning to the C-Sec officer and reading his badge. "I'm sorry um, Sergeant Haron, I was…missing in action, for a couple of years. Records probably need updating."

"Move on, I'll tell Captain Bailey to expect you. Next room," Haron waves a talon at her, trying to get the queue of visitors moving again.

Shepard is surprised to see a grizzled human running C-Sec, but the speed with which he offers her underhand dealings reminds both of them why Garrus left. After she convinces him to fix her record legally, they head out.

"It's weird, seeing C-Sec being manned by humans," Garrus rumbles. "I saw one Turian and about ten humans. You were barely accepted as a spectre last time I came here, never mind your people taking over security."

Shepard nods, moving towards the familiar sight of Avina, the flickering AI program designed to help visitors to the Citadel. But she's been reprogrammed since Shepard was last here, and her admission that any questions are being forwarded to the authorities alerts Shepard to a change in policies. When Avina also warns of the undercurrent of anti-human feelings on the station, she looks at Garrus, surprised.

"What's going on here?" Garrus moves closer to her side. "Since when did humans run everything? And with such a tight fist?"

"We need to see Anderson." Shepard moves through the crowd past the café. She can see Garrus looking distressed at the smell of the human food, so she pulls his arm and dips into the souvenirs shop. "Wait here a sec, while I check if he's free?"

Garrus nods and moves to the asari behind the counter, and Shepard watches him flip through the catalogue of goods while she argues with Anderson's secretary.

Garrus wanders back with a smug smile on his face, just as she cuts off the call.

"He's free in an hour. I had to convince his varren-humping secretary by name-dropping my spectre status," she huffs. "And why are you so pleased? Have you been chatting up _another_ asari?"

Garrus just shakes his head laughing, and walks past her out of the shop, making her trot to keep up.

"If we've got an hour, let's head to the Dark Star," Garrus rumbles. "It's new since you were last here."

She sticks to his side as they head east, up a few stairs to the club at level 28. Classier than 'Afterlife', the music is a little quieter and the dim blue glow is soothing. Shepard looks at the drinks menu, selecting a non-alcoholic fruit drink. Garrus follows her lead, ordering a strange blue Turian soft drink.

Avoiding the dancers, they move to an empty table with a beautiful abstract animation on the wall behind them. They huddle together, side by side, staring out at the room.

"I overheard Miranda saying the Illusive Man was complaining about this stop off." Garrus says.

Shepard exhales, rolling her eyes. "Knowing he doesn't like it makes the trip even more enjoyable then." She feels his gaze on her and she leans back against the wall, looking down into her glass. "I got sick of the run around. I've been in the Alliance for years, I've worked my butt off, hell we even saved the damned Council, and they won't meet with me, won't answer my questions."

"About Alenko?" Garrus sips his drink, his three talons curled tightly around the glass.

"About a lot of things." She takes a large swig, wishing she'd ordered a brandy. Garrus is still staring at her so she glares at him. "But yes, about Kaidan. He's the only relationship I've ever had in my pathetic excuse of a life, of course I want to know how he is. Even if it's just… to get some kind of closure."

She leans back against the wall again, slowing her breathing to calm herself. As she's about to apologise for her temper, she hears Garrus speaking again.

"I can't really relate. I've only ever had the odd night here and there, nothing long term."

She grins at him. "I always knew you were a ladies man!" She nudges him, her elbow clunking against his armour.

"Well, I joined the military at fifteen; it's kind of hard to form relationships in there. I sure had fun looking for that special someone, though." His mandibles flare as he grins back.

"You're shameless, Garrus," she laughs again. "Here's me admitting to being a total loser in the relationships department and you're sitting bragging about your conquests."

"I don't believe that you could ever be a loser at anything." Garrus shakes his head.

She flushes, glancing at him. "You're getting soft in your old age."

He gazes back, blue eyes unblinking. "Only when I'm with you, Shepard."

Those eyes of his, completely alien and yet so familiar. And so different from the brown eyes that used to stare at her the same way. She holds her breath, reaching up to touch his cheek just as her communicator buzzes. She drops her hand, excitement on her face as she finishes reading the message and looks at him. "Anderson's secretary. He's ready to see us."

#

The view is stunning. The long spine of the space station overflows with plants lining the metallic bulkheads. A beautiful water feature runs below the concourse and the whole area teems with aliens of every race. There's nothing quite like it anywhere else in the galaxy.

Garrus remembers when Anderson was Captain. He'd met him just before he'd met Shepard, wandering the Presidium halls. Tall, dark skinned with an almost Turian rumble to his voice, Anderson was promoted to Councillor two years ago. Promoted on _her _recommendation.

Garrus can hear her arguing with the Council over the comm channel behind him, but it sounds like they aren't listening to her. Like always.

"Explain your actions Shepard."

After all the things they'd done, she'd done, and the first thing they do is ask her to explain herself. Again. The tension in the room is rising and not for the first time, he regrets having ever gotten involved in politics.

"Did you really just _air quotes _at me, Councillor?"

Garrus stays at her side. He's heard it all before. It was the Council's refusal to listen to her recommendations after she'd died that drove him off to Omega in the first place.

"I kept Saren from conquering the Citadel. I sacrificed human lives to save the Council."

The same Council who then desecrated her memory a month later, saying that she'd been 'confused' and 'seeing visions', that Sovereign was a one-off, there was no fleet of Reapers massing for an attack.

"...you're working for Cerberus now, an avowed enemy of the Council. This is treason..."

That these speeches were given on top of the smoking ruins of a Reaper was an irony not lost on Garrus. And so he had gone, leaving his old life behind to follow her example of bringing justice to the universe.

"Low profile.... willing to reinstate as Spectre..."

Anderson flips the comm. channel off, shaking his head. Garrus half listens as he apologises to Shepard. She shrugs, used to the politics.

"What happened to Lieutenant Alenko after the Normandy was destroyed?" She gets to the main reason for her visit.

Hearing that name snaps Garrus back from his daydream and he shifts a little closer to the pair as they lean on the balcony.

"Staff _Commander_ Alenko is still with the Alliance, but he's working on a special mission. It's classified." Anderson looks away from her, his brows drawn tight. "I can't say any more. Not while you're working with Cerberus. I'm sorry."

She pulls away from him at that, mumbling her thanks as she leaves the building. She stays silent on the way to the rapid transit and he assumes they're headed back to the Normandy until a curt statement to the contrary diverts them to the Dark Star.

It's evening now; the music is louder and the booths are all occupied. Shepard grabs a couple of stools at the bar and slaps a hand on the surface. "One each, the strongest thing you have that won't kill us," she snaps to the Turian barman.

The barman slides a green drink towards her. "Guaranteed to knock you on your ass. Unless you're dextro-DNA like your pal. If you are, it'll kill you, heh."

Garrus slides onto the seat next to her, shifting uncomfortably on the human-centric shape. He watches her slam the drink down, waving her hand for another. The barman pours Garrus a drink, before focusing on Shepard again. He pushes across another glass to her. "Genuine batarian ale. Uncut. Don't ask how I got it."

"I'm sure you'll think of some other way of finding him," Garrus tells Shepard as he sips his own drink. It's a kind of Turian whiskey that makes his eyes water.

"Maybe he doesn't want to be found." She downs another shot of the blue liquid, her face screwing up. "There are rumours about me on the net already. If he cared, surely he'd be looking for me, too?"

Garrus doesn't know what to say because she's right. If he'd had the slightest of hints of her rebirth, he'd have ripped the galaxy apart looking for her. He takes another sip of his whiskey, as she drains another glass.

"I was thinking about what you said before," she says, looking down at the bar top. "About having fun. I think that's what was missing for me and Kaidan. Thrown together by certain death, it was more about comforting each other if we survived. It wasn't normal, I don't even know if it was really love. I can't remember ever just sitting and having a drink like this."

"But that can't be true." Garrus shrugs. "You spent hours chatting to me. I'd be working on the Mako while you'd be sitting on a crate, swinging your stumpy little human legs and talking non-stop. Used to drive Wrex crazy," he laughs.

"Yeah," she rolls her eyes, "but that's _you_ Garrus. I can talk to you about anything, always could. I had to control what I said with him, you know. Kaidan's…different, delicate. With his L2 migraines and Alliance regs…we barely talked beyond flirting. What if it was all just physical attraction?" She drains another glass and leans on the bar with a sigh. "You know, we only had that one night together. Just before Ilos."

He blinks, shocked. "What? But I thought you two… I mean, he was always so protective from day one. I figured…"

The barman refills her glass again with something new, his mandibles held close in surprise. "I've been serving here eight years. I've never seen anyone have _this_ and stay on their feet."

She nods her thanks and slurs, "I think I care about him. But, I have no idea...Would it have worked or not?" The refilled glass is emptied once more.

Garrus lays his talons over her hand. "I've never seen you questioning anything in your life before, ever. Maybe you already know the answer?"

She pulls her hand away, swaying slightly on her stool. "No idea what you mean." She hiccups and waves a hand at the bartender. "Hit me."

The barman pulls a dusty bottle from a low shelf. Garrus shakes his head, but the barman pours it anyway, taking a step back as she slurps it down. Garrus is shocked as she belches, her hand over her mouth as she giggles and leans against him.

A turian and asari couple are watching open mouthed. He hears the asari whisper 'How do they even...?' before the turian shushes her.

"I mean..." Shepard slurs, looking up into Garrus' eyes, "all I want is a partnership. Someone who respects me, who trusts me, who's got my back. You know what I mean, don't you Garrus?"

The bartender brandishes the bottle at her, the green liquid sloshing around inside.

The movement catches her eye and she nods. "Hell yeah. Put more of the stuff in the... the thing more stuff goes in."

The turian barman fills the glass to the brim. "Your funeral, sister."

She reaches for it, her hand missing the glass. She laughs and leans closer to the bar, managing to pull the glass to her mouth.

"If you give her another drop, I'll rip your head off," Garrus growls at the bartender as she swallows the foul smelling drink.

The bartender backs away, his hands in the air and moves to the turian and asari couple, all three of them watching wide-eyed.

Garrus turns to Shepard, wrapping an arm around her slouched shoulders. "Shepard?"

Her eyes are half closed and her breathing is ragged. He tries to shake her gently, but her head lolls forward, drooping onto the bar. He hears a human male to his right making concerned noises about her state, so he hauls her arm around his shoulders and drags her to the bathrooms.

He props her carefully against the wall next to him as he runs cold water. He tries to splash some on her face, managing to soak most of her hair and armour. He thinks it's working though as some colour comes back to her cheeks.

A male turian walks across to the urinals behind him, and Garrus slaps his forehead. He's automatically brought her into the men's.

"Garrus," she mumbles, one hand flailing for him.

He squats down beside her, bending his ear close to her mouth. He feels her breath on his cheek for a moment before she mumbles again. "Sorry... one too many." She hiccups. "Dear Garrus, you know I love you… you're my best friend."

He rocks back, resting on his spurs against the tiled floor. She leans towards him, arms grabbing at his neck as she hiccups again. He can smell the alcohol on her breath, but he's transfixed by her eyes. She's never looked at him this way before.

"Garrus..." She leans closer still, her soft lips close to his own mouth. His heart beats faster, the blood rushing through his metallic carapace as he tastes her warm breath.

"Shepard..." As he speaks, his left mandible moves, poking her squarely in her eye.

She leans back, startled, her hand covering her mouth for a moment. As the realisation of what happened filters through her alcohol fogged brain, she collapses into giggles, sliding down the wall. "Garrus, am sorry..."

"It's okay Shepard," he says as his blood roars underneath his plating.

"No, mean am sorry for this..." She opens her mouth and ejects the offending alcohol onto his boots with the most unladylike noise he's ever heard.


	6. Chapter 6 Warlord

_Sorry for the blatant Baldur's gate joke, I love that little fluffy guy though._

-----

**Warlord**

"We've arrived at Korlus, in the Imir system Commander. The team is prepared to collect the Warlord at your order."

The AI's smooth voice makes Shepard sit up, an action that causes her to groan out loud, holding her head in her hands. The throbbing is worse than when Wrex punched her in the nose, the pain deep in her temples making her eyes water. Her teeth are furrier than a varren's belly and there's a vile aftertaste in her mouth.

She opens one eye carefully, wincing as the light stabs deep into her brain. It's familiar; soft light, music playing and the fish swimming happily in their tank. But last time her head hadn't hurt like this. Last time she remembered what she'd said and what she'd done.

"I recommend drinking at a concentrated electrolyte solution to start off with. Considering the _copious_ amounts of alcohol…" EDI's silky voice begins.

"EDI, shut up right now until I tell you different or I'll come shoot up your hardware. I am not joking," Shepard promises, dragging herself into the bathroom. Brushing her teeth she waits until the shower water starts to steam before she rinses her mouth and stumbles under the spray. The scalding hot water brings her around a little, and just rinsing the foul smell out of her hair makes her feel human again.

She has a flash of memory, Garrus leaning above her, his face angry at something she's said. She tries to remember more as she dries herself off, but it keeps slipping away.

"EDI, who put me to bed?" She asks the AI as she pulls on a clean uniform. The room stays silent, so she asks again. "EDI?"

Shepard straightens up with a frown, placing her hands on her hips. "Permission to speak EDI."

"It was Garrus, Commander. Again." EDI manages to express her smug amusement before the blue light blinks off again.

"Of course it was," she sighs. A strange noise startles her and she looks around her room, trying to locate the gnawing sound. It's coming from a clear plastic box on her shelves – a box she doesn't recognise. Moving closer she recognises it as a small hamster cage. All she can see of the occupant is a tiny nose, twitching in the doorway of a yellow plastic house. After a moment the hamster pops out, grabbing a sunflower seed before scurrying back inside. It stares out at her, gnawing at the seed.

"It's playing peek-a-boo," she grins like a child as it peeks out at her again. "Boo!"

She remembers the sneaky look on Garrus' face in the souvenir shop and can't help but laugh to herself. Chatting up the asari shopkeeper indeed. This is probably the sweetest and craziest present she's ever received. Had she ever told him how much she loved her space hamster as a kid? Surely he didn't just get it right by accident?

Heading down to the main battery, she hopes that the turian who bought her such a cute gift at the beginning of the night is still her friend the morning after. Grabbing a huge glass of water from the mess hall, she adds an electrolyte powder and painkillers to it. The mess sergeant has more sense than to comment on it, just waiting in silence until she walks away.

Garrus rarely comes out of his room, bedding down in the warmth that is more natural for turians. Her bare feet slap along the floor as she fiddles with her hair. All she can remember is his disapproving face and her stomach flips as she touches the access panel and the door slides open.

"Shepard, need me for something?" Garrus asks without turning around, tapping away at the console in front of him. She leans on the panel to his side, watching his profile as he works. His shoulders look stiff and his mouth is set.

"Have you got a minute?" She asks, taking a sip of her drink and wincing at the pain behind her eyes..

He hesitates for a moment, but he still doesn't look at her. "Can it wait for a bit? I'm in the middle of some calibrations."

"I…sure." She heads towards the door, chewing a nail. "We're heading down to Korlus soon. I'd like you to come, if… if you still want to…?"

At this, he finally looks at her, a small smile lighting up his face. "I told you. I'll be here if you need me, Shepard."

#

The Kodiak shuttle drops them off in a war zone. Garrus can hear gun fighting all around him and he drops into a defensive stance at the back. Mordin trails behind Shepard, his eyes shifting non-stop as he scans everything. He talks incessantly to himself, a running commentary of all the sensory input he's receiving. Garrus is so focused on pinpointing the fighting, he only catches the end of the monologue.

"…elevated oestrogen, increased pheromones," the doctor swipes his omni-tool at Shepard's back once more. "Yes, mmm, I was right. Of course. Male, female at least. Helpful. Makes positions easier. Must research, problem with skin irritants? Signs of…"

"Are you scanning me?" Shepard interrupts, her visor flipped up as she scowls at the Salarian.

"Hmm, what? Me? No, no. Adjusting tool. Calibrating is all." The Salarin looks down at his omni-tool with an innocent expression.

"Men and their _calibrating_," Shepard mutters as she leads them towards the sound of fighting.

Garrus looks beyond her, spotting the Blue Suns up ahead. He's taken two of them down before they even react, one dead, the other winged but out of the fight. It's over before it even begins and they move up to the injured merc.

Shepard dangles the medi-gel in front of the merc until he helps divert the fighting away from their target, then tells him to run. Garrus guesses her unusually harsh stance probably has everything to do with the way she's squinting against the sun and the rank smell of alcohol seeping from her pores, but he still approves.

There are more mercs lining the entrance to the complex, but nothing they can't handle. Which Garrus considers is lucky, as Mordin tends to get distracted and start sampling data, even in the middle of combat. When he does fight however, the Salarian does a good job of holding his own.

They meet a krogan. Tank-born, he is surprisingly articulate, explaining that he was created to be the ultimate soldier, but he failed. It is now his duty to keep the mercs at bay. Mordin takes a couple of minutes to scan him before they move on, muttering to himself over the data.

An asari stops them as they progress up into the office area. Garrus recognises her scent, but he doesn't remember where from until Shepard murmurs one word: 'Virmire'. The asari scientist - Rana someone, he remembers - bleats on about second chances and making the most of things, but Shepard has stopped listening. Her head is drooping and her eyes are unfocused. Garrus can tell she's thinking about Virmire. Her head's not in the game and there's the sound of a war going on outside.

"Rana," Garrus snaps. "Get out of here. We're moving on and it's not safe."

Rana jumps at his voice and gathers her things, sidling out of the door behind them. "I know how Shepard operates, I'm gone."

Garrus steps up to Shepard, placing one hand on her shoulder and grabbing her chin with the other. "Ready to move, Commander?" He watches as she comes back to herself, her brows tightening as she pulls herself together.

"All good, Vakarian. Let's move out," she says with barely a nod, stepping away from him. He watches as she shoulders her gun and heads to the doors. Once more she looks like the fearless Commander; not just Shepard, a woman who chose to leave her friend Ashley behind to die on that damned planet.

The krogan scientist they came to find is in the next room. Dr Okeer explains that his efforts are not to cure the genophage that is ravaging his race, but to perfect his species. He points to a nearby breeding tank where a young krogan sleeps. Admitting to using Collector technology, he claims he's been keeping the Blue Suns out of the loop by sending his rejects out to attack them. He's not helping the Blue Suns at all, but using their money to fund his own research.

Mordin is still discussing the Collectors' technology and its use in the breeding programme when the leader of the Blue Suns, Jedore, figures out who is sending the berserk krogan to attack her men.

Jedore releases a toxic gas into the lab to flush them out, but Dr Okeer refuses to leave his creation and stays to protect it while Shepard hunts down the mercenary. As they leave the room they find a number of mechs waiting; Mordin helps Shepard destroy them, his biotics and her assault rifle ripping the machines apart. To her right, Garrus lines up a perfect shot and takes Jedore down with one bullet.

When they return to the lab, they find the gases have already suffocated Okeer. He has left them a dying message, asking Shepard to take his final, perfect creation with her, confessing that all his knowledge from the Collectors is tied up in the tank.

He watches her rubbing her eyes as she sinks onto a chair, her head down. They failed their mission; they didn't get the Warlord, they didn't get the Collectors technology and now they have a newborn krogan to deal with. He wants to go to her, hold her, but he's frozen where he stands, hands clenched, with no idea what to do.

#

Garrus is pacing up and down in the main battery when he hears her walking slowly towards the door. He freezes, his heart racing, he has no way to avoid her, avoid _this_.

They barely exchanged two words on the mission, and as soon as the shuttle docked Garrus had escaped here. He's been confused all day, thinking about last night, thinking about Mordin's teasing, and he doesn't feel ready for this conversation yet.

She hesitates at the door and for a moment he thinks she's going to walk away and then it hisses open. She's dressed in casual clothes, her hair damp and smelling of flowers. Pausing in the doorway, she grabs hold of the frame, looking down at the floor.

"Hey," he says, his voice sounding gruff as it resonates up the corridor.

She jumps, her eyes wide, and steps inside, letting the door swish closed behind her. "Hey," she murmurs back, sidling past him to prop herself against the humming computer.

He leans back against his console, watching her as she fiddles with her hair and looks around the room. He waits, patiently, to see what she wants, but she isn't forthcoming. After he's counted fifteen intakes of breath, plus two rather large sighs, he asks. "Anything I can do for you, Shepard?"

She looks up at him, then her gaze slides away to the side. "Well, it's about last night. Can we talk?"

"We're talking now," he says, confused.

Her gaze snaps to his face and she frowns. "I mean, I... I don't remember what happened so well." Her cheeks flush pink and she looks down again.

Garrus blinks, once, twice - waiting. But she continues to silently stare at the floor, so he draws a deep breath and tells her the truth, as he had promised her he always would. "When I took you up to your room, you kept trying to kiss me. A _lot_."

"Oh." Her flush deepens, her hands gripping the surface behind her so tightly her knuckles go white.

He rolls his eyes to the ceiling and continues, feeling his blood flow increasing at the memory. "Then you called me Kaidan and started crying."

She starts at this, staring at him with her mouth hanging open for a moment as she blinks rapidly. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry, I... I don't remember saying anything like that. I can understand why you're mad at me."

Garrus stands there for a moment, his mandibles twitching before he steps towards her and takes her hand. "Shepard, I'm not mad at you," he pauses to gather his thoughts, distracted by the bright shine in her eyes. "It's more that..."

"Commander," Joker's voice cuts over him on the intercom. "Sorry for the interrupt, but I've got the Illusive Man on the line for you. He says that he's found Kaidan."

They look at each other as the seconds tick up, the human and the turian, before a strange expression flits across her face and she exits the room without another word.


	7. Chapter 7 Horizon

**Horizon**

The Collectors' ship hangs on the horizon. The distinctive shape is a glaring reminder of the destruction of the first Normandy and Shepard's death, gasping and choking from a lack of air as she tumbled towards Alchera. It was the first time she'd felt pure terror and she has to swallow hard to control it now.

A deep vibration fills the air; she can feel it in her chest as they move ever closer to the settlement. There's no sign of any colonists and she's not sure if they've escaped, or if the collectors have taken all of them. She picks the pace up, sprinting as fast as she can in full armour towards the oblong buildings.

"Incoming," Garrus murmurs to her right. "Three of them."

She's never seen aliens like the collectors before; tall and slender, with bodies like twisted tree roots. They seem to have no use for clothing or adornment beyond weapons. Their large, oval heads swivel towards Shepard and her team, and she discovers they're good fighters, using a combination of shields and infiltration to get close. But between Jacob's biotics and Garrus' tech skills, the collectors don't stand a chance.

She pauses at the foot of some stairs. A few humans are scattered around the area, frozen into place like statues. She isn't sure if they're still conscious or even alive.

"Mordin, are you reading this?" She presses a hand to her helmet out of habit, unable to take her eyes off the colonists.

"Yes, picking up vid feed and Garrus' omni-tool sending back data. Swarms, yes, as expected. Paralyze victims for easier removal. Victims still alive. More data on toxin needed before any help possible."

"Nothing we can do right now, Shepard," Garrus places his talons on her shoulder and she nods, tightening her grip on her gun.

"Form up," she indicates for Jacob to take point and follows him as he picks his way through the paralyzed bodies.

Kaidan. She can't stop wondering if he's here, or if the Illusive Man lied to her. She already feels like a puppet dancing to his tune, but surely he knows that she'd have done the mission anyway. Chances to catch the Collectors at work don't come along very often.

"Hostiles, four collectors at 2 o'clock," Jacob murmurs over their headsets.

As they're fighting, one of the collectors shivers and holds its arms outstretched. The vibration in the air increases as a deep voice echoes around them. _"I am Harbinger of your evolution."_

The harbinger glows from the inside, its shields and armour stronger than anything they've faced so far. It strolls towards them, ignoring the gunfire chipping away at it. Garrus sneaks closer and she watches as he overloads the creatures shields.

"Incendiaries," Shepard instructs, switching over her own weapon. The fiery bullets rip through the harbinger's armour, and moments later the battlefield is clear.

"What the hell was that?" She asks. Garrus silently pokes the body with the tip of his rifle, and even Mordin is quiet for once.

Garrus uses his tech skills to hack open the door that blocks their path. A couple of seconds with his omni-tool and it slides open with a hiss, giving them access to the centre of the colony.

"Company," Jacob warns, raising his hand, his biotics glowing blue.

An older man in a baseball cap peeks out at them from the assorted boxes. "Wait, you're humans?"

Shepard frowns, indicating the battlefield behind her. "You didn't hear the collectors before?"

The man snorts, sidling out towards them. "Collectors? I thought that was made up by the Alliance to keep us border worlds under control." He inspects her armour before continuing. "Names Delan. I came to check on the grid, then I heard screaming." He starts to pace in the small room. "It's the damned Alliance's fault. They stationed that Alenko guy here and built those defences towers. It made us a target."

Shepard walks up to the mechanic and grabs his collar. "Tell me about this Alliance rep," she growls.

Delan looks worried. "Heard he was some kinda hero or something. Didn't mean nothing to us though. He was supposed to be helping with the towers, but I think he was just some spy…"

Shepard pushes him away in disgust. "EDI," Shepard crouches and peers around the exit door. "We could use those towers to get that ship before it leaves with the colonists. Check out the targeting system problems."

"Already on it Shepard," the AI purrs. "I need a bit of time, but I can get the towers operational. I recommend a defensive posture; I will not be able to mask the increased generator output."

Shepard looks to Garrus, who nods once, his blue eye gleaming at her from behind his eyepiece.

Using her hand to dictate positions to her team, Shepard heads towards the uplink tower in the next area. She can see cases of tools and equipment scattered around the base of the tower, and she wonders if this is what Kaidan has been doing, helping the colonists with his tech skills. While he never excelled at infiltration like Garrus, he was an expert at tech. It was something she had admired about him. He hadn't sat on his laurels as a powerful biotic, he'd gone out and become a techie, too.

Increased vibrations bring her back to reality, and the low screeches of husks make her switch her assault rifle for her shotgun. A quick glance to her right shows Garrus lining up a shot at the larger aliens in the distance, while Jacob helps her take down the warped remains.

The strange, floating beasts Garrus is fighting keep sending energy waves to knock her down and it's a tough fight. It's only thanks to Garrus' carefully timed shots that they manage to clear the area.

"Almost done Shepard," EDI says. "But I detect more collector life signs incoming."

"Commander, reinforcements!" Garrus calls out from his sniping position.

Shepard's head hurts as the deep thrumming increases further, seeming to pulsate through her blood. Out of the corner of her eyes, she sees Jacob drop to his knees, his hands clutching at his head. The ship in the distance is powering up, energy pouring from the engines.

Suddenly a strange creature descends from the sky, its legs quivering as it hovers above them. Like a giant beetle with glowing blue eyes, it swoops towards her, spewing energy bolts at her.

"Shit!" Shepard yells, the energy ripping her shields apart in moments. Hot, blood trickles down her arm and she realises just how close that was. Fumbling for a medi-gel pack, she feels as much as hears the humming increase, the monster floating towards her again. Pressing the cooling blue gel to her arm, she ducks behind the half-open crates and scurries away from it.

"It's focussed on you Shepard. _Keep moving_, I'll take it down," Garrus' voice carries clearly over the intercom.

"Right," she keeps her voice steady as she gauges the distance between cover. Close enough for her shields to hold. She takes a deep breath and sprints the gap, shuddering as the beam glances across her back shields. There's heat for a second and then she's safe behind the metal crates.

She feels the ground shake and Jacob is calling that he's down, he's using medi-gel and he needs cover. Shepard peeks over the crates at the floating beast and sees Jacob lying prone not far from it.

"The tower is operational Commander," EDI purrs as beams of raw power shoot out of towers towards the collectors' ship.

"Garrus, I hope you're ready," she whispers. She stands up, aiming her assault rifle at their immediate enemy. "Guys, let's hit it with everything we've got! Now!"

Shepard storms towards it, her incendiaries ripping through the beast's armour as Garrus fires shot after shot at its eyes. Even Jacob, vulnerable as he is, uses his biotics to unbalance the being. Her shields smoulder away at the same time as she sees flames licking along the monster's limbs, her right arm goes numb as the beast collapses to the floor.

She looks towards the ship, drawing ponderously up into the sky as the defence towers hammer at it. But just as the shields are punctured it slips away – with most of the colonists on board.

She tries not to think about him, tries not to be selfish when so many are gone, but she can't help but wonder where Kaidan is. Too late, she was too late.

#

Garrus runs towards Shepard, pulling a medi-gel from his pack. "Damn it, they're pulling out! They've got most of the colonists on board…"

She doesn't turn around, doesn't acknowledge him as he presses the cool blue gel to the hole in her armour. The red trickle of blood slows and he sees the wound slowly begin to knit together.

Delan the mechanic runs out from his hiding place, his hands reaching for the departing ship, a low keening sound coming from his mouth.

"I'm sorry," Shepard shakes her head. "We can't do any more."

"But they took Egan and Sam and… and Lilith. _Do_ something!" Delan looks distraught, his hands balled into fists as he stares at the sky.

"We did what we could. I'm sorry," she murmurs.

"You did more than most, Shepard," Garrus says. He moves closer and she sways towards him. He places a gloved hand on her shoulder, looking at the pain on her face.

"Shepard?" Delan looks away from the sky to peer into her face. "I know that name; you're some type of big Alliance hero."

And that's when Garrus hears it, exactly as he remembers, the one human voice that used to make her smile. The only person she had ever let close to her. Kaidan Alenko.

"Commander Shepard. Captain of the Normandy. The first human spectre. Saviour of the Citadel," he walks out from behind one of the buildings, his movements stiff. "You're in the presence of a legend, Delan. And a ghost." The tall, dark haired man walks over to her. As she starts to tremble, Garrus drops his hand away from her shoulder.

"I thought you were dead Shepard, we all did." Kaidan says, stopping in front of her.

He looks her over, pausing at the scars on her cheeks, her shorter hair. As she takes a deep breath to explain he steps forward and wraps his arms around her. Garrus watches her close her eyes, her face buried against the man's neck. He sees the way their bodies fit together, the right height, the right shape, and he drops his eyes to the floor.

Long seconds go by and Garrus starts to feel sick, his stomach churning, until Kaidan finally steps back to look her over.

"It's been too long Kaidan, how've you been?" Garrus can hear the worry in her voice.

Even with his limited experience with human expressions, Garrus can see that Kaidan doesn't like her question. The warmth fades from his eyes and he folds his arms. "That's all you have to say to me? You show up after two years and just act like nothing _happened_? I thought we had something Shepard, something real. I... I loved you." He steps closer as he says this, his brows pulling together. "Thinking you were dead tore me apart. How could you put me through that for two years? Why didn't you try to contact me? Why didn't you let me know you were alive?"

His voice cracks as he speaks and Garrus remembers how she has always described Kaidan as delicate.

She reaches out a hand, but he flinches away from her. Garrus watches the hurt flicker across her features, before her Commander mask takes control. "As soon as I woke up a couple of weeks ago I contacted Anderson, I sent you messages to every address I had for you. I _tried_ Kaidan, believe me. But before that, I spent the last two years in some kind of…coma while Cerberus rebuilt me."

Once more, even though it's the truth, his reaction proves that it's the wrong thing to say.

"You're with Cerberus now? Garrus, too?" Kaidan backs further away, shaking his head. "I can't believe the reports were right about you."

"Reports?" Garrus can't contain his growl. "You mean you _already_ knew she was alive, and you did _nothing_?" He tries to move forward, but Shepard puts out a hand and presses it against his chest briefly, shaking her head.

How can she stand this? Garrus flares his mandibles at Kaidan and he fights the urge to hit the man.

Kaidan frowns at him before glaring back at her, his dark eyes narrowed. "Alliance intel thought _Cerberus_ might be behind the missing human colonies." He almost spits the name. "They got a tip this colony might be the next one to get hit. Anderson stonewalled me, but there were rumours that you weren't dead. That you were working for the _enemy_."

"Anderson met us just the other day, he knows she's…" Garrus stops as she presses a hand against him again. "Shepard," he pleads, but she doesn't look away from Kaidan so he stops speaking. The growl in his chest is getting louder though.

"Building the defence towers was just a cover story, wasn't it? The Alliance sent you here to investigate _me_, didn't they?" She murmurs.

Garrus breaks away from his glaring at Kaidan to look at her when she says this. Her eyes are bright and feverish, her skin pale, and there's a sheen of sweat on her forehead. She looks terrible. He swivels his attention back to the human man with a snarl.

Kaidan looks down, his cheeks flushed. "I was here for Cerberus. You were just a rumour. I… I wanted to believe you were alive, but I never expected anything like this." He steps closer to her again, his skin crackling with blue biotic energy as he glares at her. "You've turned your back on everything we believed in. You betrayed the Alliance. You betrayed _me_."

Garrus feels the change in her at these words. She stands straighter, her fists clenched as she leans towards her former lover. Her words are sharp, clipped, and she speaks through gritted teeth. "Betrayed? Damn it Kaidan, you _know_ me! I'd never turn my back on _anything_, not the Alliance, not the Council…. Not you."

He shakes his head, but Shepard lifts a finger, jabbing it towards his face. "Kaidan, you saw it yourself, the collectors are targeting human colonies. And they're working with the reapers!"

"I want to believe you," Kaidan declares, "but I don't trust Cerberus. They could be using the threat of the reapers to manipulate you. What if they're behind it? What if _they're_ working with the _collectors_?"

Jacob groans. "Typical Alliance attitude. So hung up on Cerberus you can't see the real threat."

Garrus agrees with Jacob for once. Kaidan is really starting to annoy him. Since when did he stop trusting Shepard?

Kaidan throws Jacob a glance, pointedly staring at the Cerberus logo on his uniform before he looks back at Shepard. "You show up after two years and tell me you're working with Cerberus. You've changed – but I haven't. I know where my loyalties lie. I'm an Alliance soldier, always will be. I've got to report back to the citadel. They can decide if they believe your story or not." Shaking his head, Kaidan turns away from her.

Garrus watches her face, sees the thousands of thoughts and ideas flitting across her features faster than he can interpret. "Kaidan, I missed you. Come with me – it'll be just like old times." She finally offers, her hand held out to him.

He stops, head down, but doesn't turn back. "No, it won't. I'll never work for Cerberus." He sighs. "Goodbye Jane. And be careful."

Garrus moves to her side, gripping her arm as she sags. He can feel how much she's trembling, but she doesn't look away from Kaidan's retreating back. He resists the primal urge to chase after the man and pummel him in his stupid, cruel face.

"Who was that fool, Shepard?" Jacob asks, moving to her other side, hands on hips. "You don't need him, I'm here for you."

Once more Garrus sees the Commander appear as she straightens up and composes her face. "Joker, send the shuttle to pick us up. I've had enough of this colony."

#

She lies to Kelly with a smile and a nod. 'I'm fine' slips easily off her tongue when Dr Chakwas asks how she is, and in response to Joker she tells the truth - it _was_ good for a couple of seconds when she _first_ saw Kaidan.

By the time she's made a full round of the ship, her jaw is aching from the effort of holding a fake smile and she's running out of lies and half-truths to tell. There was one room, one person, that she avoided, but she hopes Garrus might forgive her, after today.

She sags against the elevator wall as it takes her up to her cabin. The cool metal brings out goosebumps on her flesh, but she barely notices. She feels nothing, her mind stalled on one word, repeated over and over. _Betrayed_. That's how little he thinks of her. That's how much he hates her.

Moving on autopilot, she taps in the access code and is inside her room before she sees who is standing there.

"Garrus. Get the hell out of here," she snaps. She clenches her fists to hide the trembling as she walks up to him, stopping inches from his broad chest.

"No." He doesn't move, doesn't flinch, his face impassive.

"I said, get out." She squares up to him, glaring, and pushes against his shoulder with one hand. He's out of his armour and she feels his hard skin beneath the thin layer of fabric.

"No," he repeats, "you need to talk."

"Don't be ridiculous, I'm fine." She holds his gaze without blinking.

"You're fine?" His mandibles draw close into a frown. "Really?"

"I just said so, didn't I?" She counters.

"You're not a synthetic, Shepard. Alenko said he suspected you of helping Cerberus steal human colonies. That didn't hurt?" He asks, placing his talons on her shoulder.

She flinches from him. Garrus knows her, he knows what Kaidan did. Her lies won't work on him. This is why she avoided him. "He didn't say that exactly..."

"He'd heard you were alive and he didn't check," Garrus tilts his head, his alien eyes staring at her.

She shakes her head, refusing to speak, her breath catching in her throat.

"He accused you of betraying him..." Garrus says and she can feel the heat from his chest as he wraps his arms around her shoulders.

"I… he…." A sob bubbles up in her throat and she gasps, her hands clutching at his shirt as her knees go weak. "Shut up…" She rasps, fighting for air, blinking rapidly as the pain wells up inside her, threatening to drown her.

"He didn't care that you'd _died_, didn't even listen to you, how you've pulled yourself together, how you're fighting for the galaxy." Garrus continues, his blue eyes boring into her. "He didn't…"

"I said _shut up_!" She strikes at his chest, hammering her hands against the soft cloth and the plated skin beneath. "I _hate_ you Garrus, I _hate_ you… Shut up…" She can't control her sobs, huge wails that don't even sound like her. "Why…? Kaidan, I…I _loved_ you..."

She keeps hitting and hitting him, screaming until her hands ache and her throat closes up. Garrus just holds her, murmuring her name, his talons caressing her shoulders. She clings on to him as if he's her lifeline, as she pours out all of the pain and torment that she's been bottling up since she was brought back from the dead. Words falter from her mouth as she tries to speak, but nothing comes out, nothing coherent, just endless tears for a man she barely knows any more.


	8. Chapter 8 About Horizon

**About Horizon...**

Her face looks so different when she's asleep. The faint line between her eyebrows is gone and her mouth is slightly open, soft breath puffing out against his chest. He can feel it through his thin shirt and it feels good, warm. They're both filthy from the mission, but she still smells of those human flowers that he's growing to like. He allows himself to feel her hair because it's new, that's all. No other race has hair like humans and he's just being curious. It slips between his talons like water, soft and flowing, the floral scent wafting through the air. He can't stop caressing it, sliding his hand through it over and over.

He's been awake for over an hour, but he can't tear himself away. They're sitting on the couch in her bedroom; she's curled up on his knee, her head on his chest, fast asleep. It's about six hours since she wore herself out, crying over that idiot Alenko.

He tells himself that he won't leave because he doesn't want to wake her, but really he can't take his eyes off her. This is Shepard, his best friend, as he's never seen her before; relaxed and innocent. All of the worry and strain is gone and she looks like a different woman. Younger, happier.

She shifts in his arms, mumbling, and before he can move, she wakes. Blinking once or twice, she takes a moment to focus on his face.

"Hey…" she twists her body around in his embrace so that she's lying on her back, looking up at him.

"Shepard," he widens his mandibles into a smile.

"Thank you Garrus. I... I..." She closes her eyes for a moment and he strokes her shoulder with a talon.

"No need to say anything. It's okay." He leans closer, pressing his forehead against hers. "Relax, it's okay."

"It's not okay. I never wanted you to see me like this," she murmurs. "Pathetic, weak…"

"Shepard," he strokes her shoulder again. "You've always been there for me. With Saren, about spectre training and recently, the whole Omega thing. It's my turn to be here for you."

"What would I do without you, Garrus?" She attempts a smile.

"You'd have bottled it up, got mad, then taken it out on Jacob. Although that _would_ have been fun to watch," he teases.

This time her smile is real, as is the laughter bubbling out of her mouth. "Oh Garrus, you've always known me better than... _he_ ever did. Better than I know myself, actually." She lifts a hand to touch his unscarred cheek. "I had no idea I needed to… uh… let out all that stress... yet I feel so much better now."

"Good," he leans into her touch, his voice a rumbling purr in his chest. "I'd have to hurt Alenko if you didn't."

"It's not his fault," her smile fades. "It's mine. I'm so selfish - it's only been days for me, but it's been years for him. Of course he wouldn't trust me anymore."

He feels strange now, holding her like this while she's thinking of Alenko and he glances up at the ceiling as he replies. "It was years for me too Shepard, and I felt only happy that you were alive."

"That's because we're friends, Garrus," she struggles to move and he loosens his arms. "Kaidan, well, it's different for us. The relationship is... was different."

She slides to sit next to him on the couch, shivering, and he stretches to pull a blanket off the bed. She takes it with a smile and wraps it around her shoulders. "You're like a hot water bottle, Garrus."

"A _what_?" He folds his arms across his chest; they feel strangely empty without her in them. He rolls his eyes at his own stupidity and stretches his legs out in front of him.

"It's how you feel on my skin. It's not important, never mind." She leans her head against his shoulder and sighs. "When the Illusive Man told me where Kaidan was, and that the collectors were targeting him, I had this stupid idea that he'd join up and we three could go out on missions again, like old times."

Garrus tries to imagine this and can't. Over two long years, everything has changed. Except her. How hard it must be to find that the world has moved on without you.

"What happened to everyone, after I died?" she asks.

Garrus leans his head against hers, thinking back to the darkest time in his life. But he knows what she really means by that question. Who she's thinking of. "Alenko took it the worst of all of us. He stopped talking, collapsed, something about his implants, his head. I don't know your human illnesses. And he was angry. Angry at me, Joker, everyone. You held us together, but Alenko, he drove us apart. It was as if seeing us together reminded him of who was missing and he couldn't stand it."

She's quiet, chewing a nail as she thinks. He notices a mark on her hand, a red rash from his natural plating that has grazed her skin. He strokes it with a careful talon. "We're really not very compatible, are we?"

She glances at the scrape, a crooked smile on her face. "If only you were human, Garrus."

He snorts, pulling his hand back. "What, you'd prefer me to be _ugly_?"

They're laughing together, leaning against each other when the intercom chimes.

"Commander, we'll be at Illium in a couple of hours. You asked for a wake-up call." Joker says.

"Thanks Joker, we'll be right down." She stands up, dropping the blanket and rolling her shoulders. "C'mon Garrus."

He follows her to the elevator as she keeps chatting. He's not sure that she's fully back to her old self yet, but she's better. Her skin is no longer a pasty white and her eyes have lost the dead sheen that scared him last night.

"Let's get the mission strategy sorted. Me you and, hmm, maybe Jacob? Or Mordin you think? I want to get it finalised so I can come back and have a shower."

The elevator doors open just as she says 'come back and have a shower'. The young red head, Chambers, Garrus remembers, stares at them open mouthed. Shepard seems oblivious to her expression and strides towards Mordin's lab. He trails behind, head down, wondering how long it will take the rumours to start spreading around the Normandy.

"Commander, you have a message." Chambers calls.

"When don't I?" Shepard mutters under her breath.

Mordin seems just as surprised as Chambers, the salarian's eyes wider than ever when he sees the chafing on Shepard's hand and asks how she got it. Shepard seems oblivious to the doctor's excitement, and Garrus almost groans when she innocently mentions scraping it on his plating.

Mordin catches his eye and this time Garrus is _certain_ the doctor _winks_ at him.

"I'm uh, going to check on... that thing... that needs checking." Garrus throws over his shoulder as he flees to his room.

#

Once the mission strategy is sorted, Shepard slaps Mordin on the shoulder and heads back to her cabin. She's humming to herself, a smile on her face, certain she's not felt this good since... well, she can't remember the last time she was so relaxed.

It's not just the unbroken sleep, although she has to admit it was comfortable and warm in Garrus' arms, it's all the crap she'd bottled up inside. This was what she'd done last time, kept it all inside, and it had made her stronger. But now, resurrected, most her real friends missing, surrounded by people who might be enemies, unable to be _certain_ – about _anything_ - it was getting too much even for her to suppress. How Garrus knew she needed to let it out... She shakes her head in amazement at him.

She closes the door behind her, stripping off her dirty uniform. Standing in just her underwear, she glances at the portrait of Kaidan on her desk. It's strange; she doesn't think Kaidan could even imagine that she might _need_ to cry. She was always the strong Commander, always up on a pedestal, saviour of the galaxy, invincible. She was the one supporting him, always helping him past his worries, Rahna his first love, killing his instructor, fraternizing with the boss.

She snorts, sitting down at her desk and idly flipping open her private terminal. Her gaze falls on the fish tank and she can see that Garrus has been and fed its inhabitants. She doesn't remember him being this attentive before and wonders what's changed. "Or maybe it was just that Kaidan was always in the way before," she thinks out loud.

There's a message from Dr Michel, the woman Garrus had been helping when she first met him. She frowns, re-reading the end of the mail. Michel would 'love to hear from him' and Shepard doesn't know why, but it annoys her. She pulls her knees up to her chest, resting her chin on them. Staring at the note, she's wondering if Garrus has ever had a 'thing' with the doctor when a new message appears.

_About Horizon..._

She doesn't need to open it to know who it's from. Tapping her fingers on the desk, she looks at it, her other hand hovering over the 'mark as read' option.

But her curiosity gets the better of her and she opens it. It's almost longer than the conversation they had, she observes, before she leans forward and begins reading.

_Shepard,_

_I'm sorry for what I said back on Horizon. _

Which part? She wonders. When he said that he'd loved her, past tense? When he called her a traitor? When he doubted her motives?

_I spent two years pulling myself back together after you went down with the Normandy. It took me a long time to get over my guilt for surviving and move on._

Now she feels guilty. A matter of weeks to her has been two years of pain for him. Garrus said he...broke... And she expected to walk into his life again with no worries. She chews on her thumbnail as she reads on.

_I'd finally let my friends talk me into going out for drinks with a doctor on the Citadel. Nothing serious, but trying to let myself have a life again, you know?_

She re-reads this over and over. He's dating again? Someone important enough to tell her about? It's strange; she expects to feel angry, but she's numb. She's more annoyed at the comment by the Citadel doctor regarding Garrus than this. Thinking about Dr Michel makes her read on, frowning.

_Then I saw you, and everything pulled hard to port. You were standing in front of me, but you were with Cerberus. I guess I really don't know who either of us is anymore._

Again, he's focused on Cerberus. He doesn't care or trust her enough to even listen. God, when did he become so pig headed...? Neither Tali nor Garrus hate her. Yet, of everyone, Kaidan should be the one to still believe in her.

_Do you even remember that night before Ilos? That night meant everything to me… maybe it meant as much to you. _

_Now_ she's feeling anger. How can he even ask this? He knows she never let anyone else close, never cared about anyone before him. How can he even think it wasn't important to her? Does he really know her so little?

She glances at the portrait next to her desk and slams it flat. She hears a crunch as the glass shatters, but she doesn't look.

_But a lot has changed in the last two years and I can't just put that aside._

"Yes, it has, Kaidan," she murmurs. "You. You've changed. I went to sleep caring for a kind and gentle man. I woke up and you're filled with anger and bitterness. Maybe it's not your fault, maybe it's mine. But this...what we had...it's gone. You've killed it."

_But please be careful. I've watched too many people close to me die – on Eden Prime, on Virmire, on Horizon, on the Normandy. I couldn't bear it if I lost you again._

How can he say this? She hits her desk hard, barely noticing that she's just hurt her fist. Doesn't he know that she feels every death? They're _all_ on her shoulders. Everyone on Elysium. Jenkins, Nihlus, Ashley...even Pressley. How could she ever forget any of them?

_If you're still the woman I remember, I know you'll find a way to stop these collector attacks. But Cerberus is too dangerous to be trusted. Watch yourself._

Why does he think that she _trusts_ Cerberus? Why else does he think _Garrus_ is here? Damn Kaidan, damn... Then she reads the last line and the anger drains out of her.

_When things have settled down a little…maybe… I don't know. Just take care._

_--Kaidan_

It's done. He's out of her system. She can read that line and not hope that he'll change his mind. He's made his choice and now she's free to continue living her second chance at life.

But she's still staring at that line when her access code blips and distinctive footsteps pause just inside the doorway. "Shepard, I forgot to feed the ham..."

She doesn't look around, remaining at her console with her knees drawn up to her chest. "Hey Garrus."

"Shepard? Are you okay? You're shaking." He's by her side in two steps, wrapping his arms around her. "What...?"

She hasn't moved, but she can see from the corner of her eye that Garrus has noticed the message. His mandibles have drawn close to his cheeks and a low rumble starts deep in his chest. "I'm going to kill that bast..."

"No Garrus, I'm fine. I'm not shaking, I'm shivering." she murmurs, burying her face into his throat. She's surprised at how much softer it is than the rest of his skin; she can feel his pulse against her cheek. "Honestly. I'm just a little tired and very cold."

He lifts her into his arms, so strong and careful with his talons, carrying her to the bed. He lays her carefully down and bends to pull a blanket over her, but she shakes her head and holds out a hand. "Hot water bottle?" She attempts a smile.

Garrus blinks at her, his mandibles twitching in confusion, so she wiggles her fingers. He places his hand in hers, his eyes fixed on her face. She pulls him towards her, forcing him to kneel on the bed beside her before he loses his balance. She tugs again, harder this time, and he lies down on the edge of the bed, as far from her as possible.

With a sigh, she scoots across the gap and curls up against him, burrowing her head into his soft throat, her arms wrapped around his impossibly tiny waist. She hears a quiet huff of surprise, but he slides his own arms around her and rests his chin on the top of her head. He feels tense, unsure, holding his body stiffly away from her. She can tell that this is different to before, that he's scared or nervous of something.

His skin smells wonderful, the leathery musk so familiar and reassuring that she can't help sighing against his throat. The heat coming off his skin helps burn away the numb feeling and she wishes that he would stay, but knows that he won't. He's monitoring her shivering, waiting for her to be warm again so that he can leave.

The tension in his shoulders is still there when he pulls away and wraps her in the blankets warmed by his body. She smiles at him, one hand grasping a talon as he turns to leave. "Thanks Garrus. That's two I owe you."

He smiles at that, a throaty chuckle escaping his hard lips. "Any time you need your bed warming, you know where I am."

He's halfway out of the room when he stops short. He turns to look at her, mandibles twitching. "That _reeeally_ didn't come out right."

She watches him scurry out of the room, and her soft laughter follows him.


	9. Chapter 9 Assassin

**Assassin**

Shepard hates Illium. From the outside it looks almost like the Citadel; high-tech flowing structures, lined with plants. Numerous shops sell gear she can barely afford and deals, deals, deals, everywhere.

Then there's the other side of Illium. The fact that they've renamed slave trading to _indentured_ _service_. The way that people go missing, and stolen goods disappear, and what happens when a deal goes south. The beautiful outer surface hides a darkness at the core. A bit like Liara.

Liara T'Soni. Once a friend and crewmate, she's now an information broker, taking secrets and spying on others. Shepard prefers to remember her as the innocent young scientist who got dragged into the battle against Saren against her will. Being forced to deal with the corruption of her own mother, and Shepard's rejection of her romantic advances, changed her; Liara sank into the underground after Shepard's death.

Shepard finds it hard to talk with her now - there's an undercurrent to Liara's dealings that leave a bitter taste in her mouth. But she does have her uses. Liara directs Shepard to another asari, Seryna, who sneaks them into the Dantius towers.

There are innocent salarian workers everywhere, trying to get away from the aggressive security mechs. Garrus helps her to clear them, while Mordin helps the innocent workers to escape.

Garrus - just thinking about him reminds her that she needs to talk to him. Since leaving her cabin he's seemed tense, not looking her in the eye, not teasing her as he usually does. Even Mordin seems to have noticed his change of behaviour; Shepard's certain that she's glimpsed the salarian furtively scanning Garrus a few times, muttering to himself.

There's no sign of the assassin the Illusive Man told them is here, but they continue up the tower towards Nassana anyway. The elevator hisses open to show a lone merc, standing at the top of the tower, directing the fighting. Garrus wants to throw him out of the window, but Shepard relents and lets him go.

There are rocket sentries that she can't get past, so Garrus picks a safe sniping spot and takes them out. The door below opens and it's a shooting gallery for Garrus, who clears the revealed enemies without a problem. Once through the door, there's an exposed bridge, high in the air between the towers.

Garrus takes up another sniping post and settles down. She's annoyed, but tries not to show it. He's always there, literally at her back; they work as a team. She doesn't like this change to their routine.

Angry with him, she's charging across the bridge, firing her assault rifle at the commandos, when she hears the low whistle of a missile. "Garrus, get dow..."

Then her feet are gone from under her and she's sliding towards the edge of the bridge. She scrabbles for purchase, but her gloved hands find none. Flames are busily consuming her armour where the rocket's blast struck hardest, but the pain is a distant thing, easily forgotten as she her legs flail over the edge of the bridge. Her momentum increases as gravity snatches hold, and her torso is almost completely over the edge when Garrus appears in front of her.

His eyes are blazing, his mandibles tucked tight to his chin as he grabs her hand. She feels the crushing grip halt her movement, her shoulder groaning in protest as she dangles.

"Hold on, Shepard," Garrus leans closer, his other hand reaching down for her. "I've got you, it's okay."

His impressive strength hauls her up onto the bridge, into his arms, where they sit, panting. The fire along her leg armour has extinguished itself, and she automatically assesses the battlefield. Mordin has taken down the last rocket sentry and is hurrying along the bridge towards them.

"Wounded. Hmm. Burns, arterial cut, blood loss," Mordin pulls out three medi-gel packets and begins to treat her leg, smearing the cooling blue goo liberally over her skin. "Shock will reduce pain, but must see Chakwas after mission."

She nods, she can't even feel the injury. She's angry with herself for being so distracted by Garrus that she allowed herself to get hurt. What if it had been Garrus that was hit? She isn't physically strong enough to save him the way he just saved her.

At least Garrus is no longer ignoring her, he's holding her tight and she feels his talons running through her hair. He's rocking her slightly, whispering too softly for her to hear. She can feel him trembling and wonders if he's going into shock, too.

"Doc, we good to move? No, uh, _shock_ problems or anything?" Shepard indicates both of them with her hand, making it clear she's ordering him to check Garrus.

Mordin blinks at her, scanning his omni-tool across them both. "Yes, your blood loss staunched. Turian fine, protective instinct for mate only. Not shock. Emotional reaction." Mordin nods and points to the opposite side of the bridge. "Continue."

She pushes against Garrus' chest gently and looks at him. His eyes are closed, his mandibles held tight to his chin as he murmurs to himself. "Garrus, it's okay." She reassures him, tugging at his chin. "We're okay. But we need to move."

He leans back, opening his eyes and blinking at her. She sees his mandibles relax as he pulls himself together. "That was too close, Shepard."

She nods in agreement as she stands, understanding why he sounds so disapproving. She let herself get distracted and she endangered the mission. Endangered them. "Let's move out."

It's only when she's partway up the stairs that what Mordin said actually registers, and she stumbles over nothing. Protective instinct for _mate_? She shakes her head, scoffing to herself. He must have meant partner, it's just a translation thing. It happens.

When they reach the asari hiding out with her bodyguards, Nassana doesn't believe that they aren't here to kill her.

But even as Shepard is about to reply, there's a movement, almost too fast for her to see as a tall, green skinned alien drops from the ventilation shafts. He eliminates Nassana's bodyguards in seconds before placing his pistol against her abdomen and killing her in a single shot. The assassin catches the asari's body and gently lowers it to the floor.

"Not bad," Garrus grunts his approval.

Shepard watches in amazement as he ignores them to bend his head in prayer. The alien is humanoid with a reptile-like skin, but his body and face are perfectly proportioned. Shepard has never seen one of his race before and finds herself intrigued.

"I've come a long way to talk to you," she says as she steps forward.

"One moment. Prayers for the wicked must not be forsaken." The drell assassin doesn't look up.

"She certainly was wicked," Shepard nods.

The assassin doesn't respond. Once his prayer is finished, he looks at her. "Not for her, for me. The measure of an individual can be difficult to discern by actions alone. Take you for instance. All of this destruction... chaos..." He walks towards her, silhouetted by the bright lights through the window. "I was curious to see how far you'd go to find me. Well, here I am."

Shepard shifts her weight, folding her arms. "Let's cut to the chase. I need you for a mission. Heard of the collectors? They're abducting entire human colonies."

The drell blinks, twin eyelids shuttering across his gecko-like eyes. "This was to be my last job. I'm dying."

She falters, her outstretched hand falling. Surely if he's dying he won't...

"I do not fear a suicide mission." The drell says, offering her a half-bow. "I am your weapon, use me as you wish."

#

It was fun to hack into Cerberus' systems, a technical challenge during the long boring hours of downtime. Garrus had found some software that tracked the Commander at all times and cracked it to send false data back to Miranda.

He's only watching the _real_ data himself to see if she's okay. No other reason. That was a tough shot she took, so he's just checking that she goes to med-bay. Just because he keeps watching after she's patched up and leaves doesn't mean anything, really.

What does mean something is that once she's patched up, he sees her heading away from him, towards Jacob. He counts the time, one minute, two… five minutes. What's she doing with the human? Has she finally noticed his clumsy advances? Now that she's free from Alenko, is she...?

Garrus saved her life today and they've still barely spoken since the whole 'hot water bottle' thing. He's even looked them up to see why she asked him to stay, why she'd clung to him, but really, the explanation made no sense. If she was cold, why didn't she just regulate her cabin's temperature?

He's growling, barely aware of the noise, and he doesn't even know why he's angry. Shepard talks to everyone, she's always making rounds of the ship. She can talk to the Cerberus man if she wants to. But he can't take his eyes off the screen. Six minutes now! What on earth are they talking about?

Then she's moving again; he sees her head to the elevator, though he can't tell which way… ah, down. His talons clack on the screen as he taps them impatiently. She went to Jacob, where might she be… past the mess… oh...

He flips the programme off and switches to the gun calibration software that he is working on. He can hear her footsteps as she pads up to the door. Barefoot as always, Garrus smiles to himself. She's a strange creature. He never removes his clothing in public, and she seems unable to wait to remove hers.

He hears the access panel beep and her scent wafts into the room. He takes a deep breath, allowing it to wash over him. There's an undercurrent of medicine, bandages and that antiseptic cream Chakwas uses on humans.

"Have you got a minute, Garrus?" She asks, interrupting his thoughts.

"Shepard," he indicates that she's free to perch on her favourite computer panel, smiling at her with his mandibles.

She settles down, returning his expression with a grin of her own. "Just wanted to come by, show you that I'd had my leg patched up." She's wearing some strange short skirt that he's never seen before. It allows her to hold out her right leg, the upper third swathed in bandages.

"What is it with you and your right side Shepard? You're always injuring it," he shakes his head at her.

"I'm right handed, it's how I stand!" She protests.

"Chakwas said it's okay? Nothing permanent?" He kneels close to her, talons carefully pressing the flesh either side of the dressing. He peers at her leg, the skin is pale, but he can see that the medi-gel is working and there's no signs of problems.

He feels her shiver and her skin gets strange bumps on it. He leans closer, examining the tiny bumps that have spread to cover her all over. She clears her throat and he looks up, suddenly conscious of where he's kneeling, where his face almost is. He jumps backwards as if her skins burns him, dropping his hands to his sides.

"I just came from the med-bay, Garrus! I'm fine," she says, self-consciously tugging at her skirt, making sure that it covers her thighs.

"Not quite, you went to see your new _human_ boyfriend first," he growls.

"Wait, what! How do you know where I've been?" Her face pales and she makes as if to stand up, pushing at his chest to move him out of the way.

He lowers his head, mandibles held tight to his cheeks. "Shepard, I'm sorry. I..." He rubs the back of his neck, staring at the ground. She stops pushing him and settles back, but her lips are pressed tightly together. "You scared me today. I've been going crazy down here, thinking about if you'd fallen, if I'd been too slow. I'm not making sense, even to myself." He sighs. "I'm going... what's your human expression? Stirred crazy?"

"Stir crazy," she half-smiles at him. "You don't have to hide out down here. The mess hall..." He snorts. "Well, you're always welcome to visit me in my quarters then."

He cocks his head, looking at her expression. He thinks that he's usually pretty good at understanding her, but right now her face is unreadable. "I'd like that."

"Good. Because if you didn't come up, those damned fish would be floating belly up in that tank by now," she laughs. She pats him on his shoulder and slips past, heading towards the door. He watches her walking, her strange human hips and thighs; they look so different from a turian female's. And her rear, does it always sway like that? Is she walking differently?

She pauses in the doorway, catching him looking at her behind and she laughs as he ducks his head. "You were right though, Garrus. I did stop by to see Jacob. I made it very clear that I have _no_ interest in fraternising with Cerberus employees."

"Lucky I'm not Cerberus then," he says automatically. Then he kicks himself as she walks away down the long corridor, her laughter echoing ahead of her.


	10. Chapter 10 The Justicar

**The Justicar**

He likes to spend time maintaining his gun. Cleaning the barrel, checking the scope, making sure that it's in perfect condition. The mess hall tables during the night are the perfect place. His rifle is spread across the metal surface, each piece laid out perfectly in its own space. He's almost meditating, polishing, caressing, replacing, when he smells her.

Startled, he tries to gather the components together, but he's too slow and she pads across the floor, looking as surprised as he is.

"Hey Garrus, not sleeping?" she walks over to the left-hand levo fridge, grabbing something white that smells revolting.

"What is _that_?" Garrus asks as she sits down opposite him, drinking it rapidly from the bottle.

"Female cow excretions." She winks, laughing as he flares his mandibles in revulsion.

"I always knew humans had no taste, but that's disgusting." He slots the last piece of his rifle back into place and inspects it closely. "What are you doing up anyway, Shepard?"

"Prothean nightmare," she shrugs. "Not had one in a couple of days, I guess I was due."

"Sleeping better in general?" He lays the rifle down on the table and peers at her. She's still paler than he'd like, but the constant black marks under her eyes are gone for a change.

"I'm _fine_ Garrus. Stop worrying." She rolls her eyes at him, draining more of the cow juice. "I was wondering, though, have you seen Miranda? She wasn't in her room."

"She's with the drell." Garrus watches one of her eyebrows lift. "She and Kelly were having a discussion, about a Greek god – David somebody? I didn't really understand, Kelly was giggling too much."

"Ah yes, I think Mr Krios will be very popular with the female crew," Shepard laughs. It sounds different to her usual laugh; deeper, dirtier. "He's very attractive."

Garrus looks down at his rifle, the blood under his plates rushing. She seems to have noticed his expression, because she reaches across the table and pats his hand.

"Don't worry, you'll keep your status as ship stud. All he likes to do is talk about his dead wife, not much of a turn on," she says.

Garrus isn't totally sure what a stud is, but he gets the meaning and he looks at her. She's smiling at him, her eyes bright, her hair loose around her shoulders and he wonders if she thinks he's attractive too, or if his plates and scars make him look like a monster.

He's never thought of humans as anything other than alien. He's friendly with some, sure. Well, one. _Her_. The fact that she thinks of the drell as attractive is confusing him though. Garrus looks at her, all strange curves and hair and soft skin. He understands from others that she's considered a highly appealing female specimen; he remembers how all of the old Normandy's male crew used to curse Alenko's luck.

She clears her throat and he realises that he's been staring at her. "Sorry, was thinking." He mutters, dropping his eyes.

"I could tell. You had a very strange expression on your face though. Penny for them?" She asks.

"Penny for…" He hasn't heard this human idiom before, but he follows her meaning this time. He flounders for something less incriminating than his real thoughts. "Ah, I was just thinking about… What do you like to do, in your spare time?"

"Oh," she rubs her right shoulder absently, the one she's always injuring. "For when you come visit you mean?" He's about to interrupt, to say no, but she keeps talking. "We could watch an old vid, I've got a bit of a collection in my cabin now. Or…dinner? As long as we don't mix up food… Umm, maybe…"

She keeps talking as he rests his head on his hand. He hadn't really taken her offer that seriously, but she seems to be having fun coming up with ideas for what they could do. He wonders if she finds this Normandy as strange as he does. Almost, but not quite home, with people you can't trust a hundred percent. If she _is_ lonely, well, he really should make an effort and visit her. It's what a friend would do.

Then she's interrupting his daydreaming again, patting his talon to get his attention and asking what _he_ likes to do in his spare time. "I don't mind, I'll be happy if we're together, whatever we do."

Her cheeks flush pink and she's about to react when a voce cuts over them.

"Oh, excuse me for _interrupting_," Kelly fans herself with her hand, staring at where Shepard is touching his talon. Garrus had been entranced by Shepard's happy expression; he hadn't heard the young red-head approach. He pulls away from Shepard.

"I should leave you two alone. This looks very…_private_." The Yeoman doesn't move, her gaze flickering between them. She's dressed in a short white dress, Garrus assumes it's for sleeping in; it exposes a lot of skin. There's nothing appealing about her though, however much she poses in front of him. She's such a strange shape and colour, so alien to his eyes.

"It's not really private, I was just polishing my gun."

"Thanks, it's not very often we get any time to ourselves."

He and Shepard speak at the same time, and they grin at each other, forgetting about the Yeoman as she excuses herself with wide eyes. One _more_ rumour for her to spread, Garrus thinks.

"So, did we agree? My cabin for a vid, tonight?" Shepard stands and stretches. Her clothes shift and tighten around her curves and _now_ Garrus feels interested in a human body. The shape of her hips, the way her breasts move as she lifts her arms. There's something about _her_, Shepard, that catches his eye and he's not sure what it is.

He realises he's staring at her again so he nods, feeling warm at the happiness in her face. He likes his commander happy, he's glad he can do this for her.

#

Shepard sits back in the Kodiak shuttle as it lifts off from Illium. Garrus is next to her piloting the craft and Mordin and the asari justicar Samara are seated behind them. The justicar isn't what she expected; beautiful and ancient, the asari has an incredible focus on her task. Samara has promised to join the crew as long as she can also continue her personal quest for a murderer aboard the AML Demeter.

She had been impressive to watch, an asari in a skin tight red outfit, floating biotically and crackling with power. Her face had remained composed, serene, like an avenging goddess as she bore down on the Eclipse mercs.

Mordin seemed quite entranced by her. He claimed to be scanning her biotic strengths, but he fluttered around her like a butterfly, talking non-stop about the wonders of asari biology and her own biotic power. Garrus had seemed overly pleased by this, laughing at the salarian and nudging him hard in the side every once in a while. Shepard hadn't quite followed the interaction between her best friend and the doctor, but she's determined to ask when they're back on the ship.

Shepard is pleased that in recruiting Samara they also helped local cop Anaya to bust a smuggling ring for the biotics-enhancing drug Minagen X3 _and_ managed to take down a local chapter of the Eclipse mercs. Considering they'd faced another gun ship today, and come out unscathed this time, things feel like they are going right for once. No injuries, a new crewmate, and something to do tonight.

She glances across at Garrus as he pilots the shuttle. She's heard the rumours circulating the ship about them. Probably Kelly, Shepard thinks, she has a slight crush on Garrus, she'll be the one spreading the stories. Ignoring the physical differences, she can understand the young Yeoman's attraction. Garrus is so capable and strong, kind and yet a total badass on missions. Shepard can live with the gossip, bored crew will talk about anything, she's learned, she's just so glad he's here.

She'd never admit to anyone how much she dreads the long empty evenings that lead toward nights filled with prothean nightmares. It'll be good to do something fun for a change. Relieve some tension.

#

He's paced back and forth across his room for almost two hours now. She wants him to visit, but he doesn't know human rituals. Should he take a present, some food, a bottle of alcohol? Is it formal, will he offend her if he wears casual clothes?

With a growl at his own stupidity, he slaps the access codes and stomps up the corridor. It's Shepard, if he makes a mistake, she won't mind. She might _tease_ him for the rest of their lives, but he can cope with that.

He's on his way through the mess hall when a humanoid shape detaches from the shadows.

"Officer Vakarian," the drell stops him. "I wish to speak to you regarding our commander."

Garrus cocks his head. Though he's intrigued by the stoic assassin this is the first time he's spoken to him. "Shepard? What about her?"

"I overheard the other women discussing our leader. Apparently her human mate has discarded her and she is now available?" The drell blinks slowly, his twin eyelids flickering in sync.

Garrus' blood roars underneath his plating and he automatically clenches his hands into fists. "…what?" He can hear the fury in his voice and he takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself.

"Our leader. She has indicated an interest in me, visiting my quarters, expressing concern for my life. I wanted to ask her friend…"

"She talks to everyone, she's kind like that. But that does _not_ mean she's available. _Or_ interested," the rumbling of Garrus' voice echoes down the corridor, the underlying growl evident.

Thane blinks, steepling his fingers underneath his chin as he stares at Garrus. Garrus resists the urge to rip his talons into the drell's soft skin by keeping his hands clenched, the tips of his talons scraping against his palms.

"I am confused. Do you mean to imply that you and the commander are…?"

"I'm not implying _anything_, assassin…" his anger dissipates as he smells her, hearing her footsteps heading towards them seconds later. "Drop it, now."

"Drop what?" Shepard asks as she walks up to them.

"A misunderstanding, nothing more," the drell bows to her, his hands to his chest, then he heads away.

"Garrus?" She turns to him, her brows pulled together in a frown.

Garrus grabs her elbow and pulls her towards the elevator. "Someone invited me to watch a vid. I don't want to be late."

She smiles at him, letting him pull her along. He thinks he's bluffed her until the elevator door closes and she rounds on him. "Tell me what you and Thane were arguing about."

"Nothing important."

"Don't even try that line on me Garrus," the doors open, but she spreads her arms across the gap, blocking his path. "Spill it."

Garrus feels a flare of heat as he looks up to the ceiling, avoiding her eyes. "The drell asked if you were available."

"I'm always available, what did he want?"

"No," Garrus sighs, looking at her confused expression. "He… ah… thinks you like him, because you talk to him. He was asking if you were _available_."

"Oh." Shepard lets her arms drop to her sides. "Jacob, now Thane. I must be doing something wrong…"

"You're doing _nothing_ wrong," he shakes his head, placing a talon on her shoulder. "But you're Commander Shepard, Spectre, saviour of the galaxy. Strong, beautiful, charismatic. You astound people."

"Garrus, my ego is big enough," she laughs, fiddling with her hair as he speaks. "C'mon, let's go watch this vid before my head swells and I can't get through the door."

Her cabin looks a little tidier than usual; the bed is neat, the fish look fed. Garrus pauses for a second as he realises the picture of Alenko isn't on her desk any more.

She's still walking, down towards the couch. He can smell a strange mix of turian and human food and he edges closer to see. She's arranged a few bowls, turian food on the left, human on the right, and she moves to sit in between.

"Come sit, I've got snacks," she pats the seat next to her. "And my favourite vid, 'Heroes of Mars' – when humanity first finds prothean artefacts. I know you like human history, so I thought you'd enjoy it."

His mandibles twitch in surprise; she's noticed what he's been reading. He slides into the seat beside her, holding himself stiffly so that he doesn't accidentally press against her.

But Shepard ignores the personal space he's tried to leave and snuggles up beside him, resting her head on his shoulder. "The blue bowl is straight from the ship's fridge, but the white bowl is kala fruit. Fresh! From a speciality turian foods shop on Illium. Got it today."

He takes a bite of the kala, purring as the bitter flavour floods over his tongue. "Mmm, it _is_ fresh. And it's my favourite." He glances at the grinning woman to his right. "How did you know?"

"I pay attention when you tell me things. Well, actually I was hanging around the Mako while you were telling _Wrex_. But I'm nosey and I remembered." She looks up at him, a slight crease between her brows. "I… I hope you like them, snacks with a vid is traditional."

"I love them," he scoops up a few more of the bitter fruit and chews them. "I'll finish this bowl before you get that vid going."

"Hey, cheat!" She pokes him, before turning to the controls for her screen. He peeks at her profile while she fiddles with the vid, the strange nose that sticks out from her face, her soft, full lips, those big, wide eyes. All so different from a turian female. So why does he feel like this is some kind of pre-mating flirting? As if partway through the film she's going to jump on him and bite his fringe to show her interest?

The vid starts and she settles back against him with a satisfied sigh. The titles roll and Shepard starts popping some strange white fluffs into her mouth. He smells something rancid on them, melted synthetic oils and he breathes through his mouth.

She smiles up at him and he notices how her eyes crinkle at the edges. Her skin is so soft, her expressions seem exaggerated. The shapes her mouth makes, the way her eyebrows move from surprise to anger at times.

"This bit is _good_," Shepard mumbles from around a mouthful of food, her finger pointing to the explosions rocking the screen.

"It looks very… historical," he's surprised when she laughs hard at this. She nudges him with her elbow and lifts her legs onto the couch so that she's lying against him. She presses her body into his side so that he has to drop his arm around her shoulders out of the way as she snuggles into his lap.

It must hurt her soft flesh to be pressed against his plates, even with his shirt in the way. But she seems happy, lying on her side, her head resting on his chest. She's got her snacks, which she seems to consume faster than the hamster could, and she's mouthing the lines of the vid to herself. She cackles with glee every time something blows up.

"See that gun?" She asks with a mouthful of food, pointing at the screen again, "I always wanted one, then I found out they faked the range. I was _so_ disappointed."

He moves his talon so that he can touch the ends of her hair, something he's still fascinated with. He combs it through his three digits, not even looking at the vid screen now. The position she's in, no turian can bend that way, and he starts having strange thoughts about the differences in turian and human physiology. How it might affect their lives, fighting, eating, mating…

Almost as if she can read his mind, she peeks up at him with a wicked grin. "I need to keep you locked up in this bedroom. My own personal Garrus hot water bottle."

He grins back, his mandibles fluttering widely at the thought of being _her_ Garrus. It's not something he'd thought of before. Not until Mordin had brought it up. His talons tighten possessively around the tips of her hair and he feels his bloodflow speeding up.

And then he remembers the conversation in the elevator. It's Shepard, his _commander_. She's always nice to _everyone_. She's not looking for anything special from him. Look at Thane; he read her signals wrong, he had inappropriate intentions and Shepard had scoffed at the idea.

No, Garrus realises that all of this must just be because he's in need of mating. It's been well over two years, long before she'd died. No wonder his body is confused at the proximity of someone. Idiot. He lets her hair slips from between his fingers and he turns his attention to the vid screen.


	11. Chapter 11 Normandy

**Normandy**

She always likes to talk to everyone on the ship at least once a day. Garrus barely remembers the excuse he gives for following her around, but she agrees with a smile, chatting to him as she makes her way around the different areas.

She's been talking to Joker for a few minutes when the pilot surprises him by wiggling his eyebrows. Garrus isn't sure what the human means by it, so he tilts his head, mandibles held close. As Shepard glances out of the window Joker does it again, pointedly looking from Shepard to Garrus.

The rumours have spread then… Garrus pretends not to understand and peers at the flight controls as Shepard starts to wrap up. Joker is still wiggling his eyebrows and now seems to have progressed to winking as well.

Garrus is wondering if this ship tour was a bad idea when EDI pops up and complains – something about 'special vids' and inappropriate self-touching whilst in the pilot chair – causing Joker to stop teasing him and begin waving his hands at the blue AI, trying to shut it up.

Shaking her head, laughter bubbling up, Shepard grabs Garrus' elbow and propels him beside her down the long corridor. She's chatting about the engine upgrades, something about the improvements helping against the collectors, but he's not really listening, instead taking the opportunity to assess his commander. She looks good, healthy. After catching her not sleeping the other night he'd been concerned. But her skin is clear and her eyes bright. Her hair smells wonderful and looks as soft as he remembers. He itches to touch it, addicted to the feel of it, but he clenches his talons and holds them at his sides.

He can see that she's fine, better than usual even, so he's not sure why he's still trailing her to Jacob's usual haunt. Though he's never been in the armoury before, preferring to maintain his own rifle, so it might be worth a look around.

Jacob has weapons spread on every available surface. Garrus wanders around, inspecting the firearms he's never personally used. There's a surprising collection; Shepard's habit of lifting unusual items off dead enemies seems to be paying off.

He glances at the two humans, the scene he finds making his blood boil. Shepard is opposite Jacob, leaning back on a table in a very…_suggestive_ manner. He controls his rage before a growl escapes him, but he stalks over to them, his eyes fixed on Jacob. The man is smiling at Shepard, his eyes travelling up and down her torso far more openly than Garrus would accept in turian society. He's pretty sure it's not that polite in human society either.

Garrus stops by Shepard's shoulder, pressing himself alongside her. She tilts her head back, her cheek resting against him as she smiles. He casually places an arm on the table behind her so that she's held possessively to his side.

He allows his eyes to drift back to Jacob and is pleased to see the man has turned to focus on the weapon on his workstation, answering Shepard over his shoulder.

After a couple more verbal exchanges that Garrus finds incredibly dull - he has no idea how she can stomach talking to the Cerberus operative - Shepard pulls him out of the armoury with her. The door swishes shut behind them and she pokes his shoulder. "What was that macho display all about Vakarian? I told you that Jacob knows I'm not interested."

"He was looking at you like you were a tasty bit of lunch," Garrus grumbles, his mandibles twitching into a small grin. "I was just reminding him that you said you were off the menu."

She's shaking her head again as she moves towards the lab, but he can tell she's not insulted. He's grinning like a fool as he follows. She seems to be doing the thing with her hips again, making her rounded human bottom sway. Her hips are so odd, placed in a different position to a turian female; he wonders how her legs would move during…

He realises where he is; standing in front of the salarian doctor, thinking about _that_, and he's sure Mordin can tell. Shepard is talking about seeker swarms and protection, but Garrus can see that the doctor's attention is focussed on him. The salarian is tapping at his desk computer, his black gaze flickering towards Garrus, then flickering back to his screen.

Shepard pauses to examine the seeker probe that they gathered on Horizon and Mordin takes advantage of the gap to speak, one thin finger pressed to the corner of his mouth. "Heard rumours concerning commander. Suggest medical…"

"Have you figured out what that harbinger was about, doc?" Garrus interrupts, speaking at a louder volume than usual. "Seems like it could be key to all this. The leader of the collectors."

The salarian blinks at him for a moment before launching into a detailed analysis of the data collected up to now. Shepard listens before adding her own thoughts, and ensuing the discussion rages for at least ten minutes.

Eventually Shepard thanks the doctor and moves out. Garrus sighs with relief, throwing the doctor a dark look as the doors close behind them.

"Commander. Oh and Garrus. How _surprising_ to see you two together again." Kelly grins at them, bouncing on her toes as they walk past her.

"Yeoman Chambers," Shepard nods to her and calls the elevator. Kelly has swivelled to follow them with her eyes, leaning slightly to get a last look at them as the lift doors close.

"God, that girl would be happy during the apocalypse," Shepard groans, rubbing her head.

Shepard waves to the people in the mess hall before heading towards Miranda's office. She marches over to the other woman's desk, firing questions at her XO about supply requests and mission reports. Garrus leans against the doorway, surprised at how demanding she is. Miranda seems used to it, ready to answer all questions aimed at her, reassuring Shepard that the ship is running smoothly. This is another side to the commander, less people focused, her thoughts concentrated on the mission. After a few minutes Shepard thanks Miranda and leaves, slapping Garrus on the shoulder as she passes.

From there she heads straight to the med-bay. She grabs the chair opposite Doctor Chakwas and they start to talk. He notices that she behaves differently with the doctor and Joker; she's more relaxed, her body language open, her laughter genuine. Miranda got the commander mask, Chakwas gets Shepard.

Still, it's not quite the same as when she's in her bedroom with him. He feels his mandibles widen; she opens up to him now, she trusts him more than anyone else, he gets to see _Jane_.

He notices that the room has gone silent and blinks, focusing on the two women again. They're both looking at him, Shepard with a strange frown and Chakwas with her hand barely concealing a smile.

"What?" He asks, folding his arms.

Both women start laughing, and now he's _really_ unsure what he missed. Shepard stands up, placing one hand on the doctor's shoulder, both of them bringing their amusement under control. "Speak to you soon."

"Commander." The doctor swivels back to her desk.

He waits until they're crossing the deck to ask her about their laughter, but she just shakes her head and tells him not to worry. 'Girl talk' she explains, without really explaining at all, and then smiles to herself.

The life support area is another part of the ship Garrus has never entered until now, and he examines the room while only half-listening to the assassin. He finds a couple of Cerberus listening devices and crushes them, before turning his attention to Shepard's conversation. The drell is sitting at a table, the commander standing opposite him. She looks entranced, her mouth half open as she fiddles with her hair; Garrus feels strange, his shoulders tensing more every time she smiles or laughs.

He watches the drell, listening to the assassin's smooth way of talking, the strange memories he shares with her. He's finding the 'attractive' assassin more annoying than Jacob, and he starts to pace the room, a low growl rumbling deep in his chest.

The drell is answering her questions politely, explaining about his son, and how he'd like to help him. Shepard agrees, promising that the next time they go to the Citadel, they'll look into it. The assassin thanks her, then waits patiently for them to leave so that he can pray.

"Thane's a little more introverted with me now. What exactly did you say to him Garrus?" she asks as they leave.

Garrus shrugs. "Ask the drell. He could recite the details of the entire conversation to you, including my eye colour and what was on the lunch menu that day."

"You're not funny," she says, but the smile tugging at her lips tells him otherwise.

The justicar is mediating, hovering biotically in the air. They nod to her, then leave her in peace, backing away to the elevator.

"You have to stop recruiting Shepard. No wonder you're always tired if they do this every day." Garrus presses the button for the engineering deck.

"It's not so bad, I enjoy talking to everyone," she shrugs.

"All they do is whine or ask for favours. I hope I don't sound like that," he says as she strides out of the elevator.

"You're the only one who doesn't ask me for anything." She shakes her head. "Don't worry Garrus."

Zaeed proves Garrus' point by complaining about his agreement with Cerberus not being upheld. Shepard promises that as soon as they pass by the planet, they'll help him with his mission. The veteran is friendlier after that, showing off his favourite gun and reminiscing about old times.

The krogan is still asleep in his pod. He has pale silver skin and is smaller than most of the adults of his species that Garrus has met. Shepard inspects the console, checking his life signs.

"I really should wake him soon," she muses. "Even if it's just to piss Miranda off. And speaking of pissed off, Jack's the last on my list. I stung Donnelly good last time we played cards and he's not forgiven me yet, so I'm avoiding him!""

Garrus lurks on the stairway as Shepard lets Jack rant, wondering what she sees in the girl; some people are beyond saving. The young biotic paces back and forth, waving her arms about Cerberus and tests and a hundred other things. Garrus is impressed by how Shepard stands there, listening and giving Jack whatever it is she needs to calm down. If anyone who wasn't on her crew spoke to Shepard like this she'd blast them away.

On her way back out, Shepard nudges him and asks if he wants to visit again. "I've still got some of that blue gloop you liked last night. And there's the sequel to the Mars vid… but it's not very good, _way_ less explosions. Ooh, I've got 'When Turians Attack', which isn't half as cheesy as it sounds, or…"

"Fine," he smiles at her, mandibles wide. "No-one else asks me out, how can I turn you down?"

She stops, looking at him strangely. He waits a moment for her to speak, but she just stares at him.

"What's wrong Shepard?" He leans on the wall, hooking a talon around the railing.

"You just reminded me. I got a message for you the other day," she speaks slowly, looking past him at the wall behind. "Doctor Chloe Michel? Remember her?"

"The human I was helping when I joined up with you?" Garrus nods, he'll never forget that day - it changed his whole life. "Of course. What did she want?"

Shepard is still not looking at him, and her mouth has twisted into a strange smile. "Oh, just saying you never got in contact. Asking how you were. If you were _available_ for a chat. How she would _love_ to hear from you."

Garrus blinks. He remembers the woman, but he had no idea she thought of him as anything but the C-Sec officer who helped save her. She's human, and he wonders what it is with everyone at the moment - has he missed an announcement where someone declared that humans and turians are compatible? "I… I never knew she thought of me in that way. We were quite close I suppose, friends even, at the time."

"You could visit next time we're at the Citadel. If you wanted?"

Garrus isn't sure why Shepard is saying this, or why she now looks so annoyed, so he shrugs. He's been thinking about everything Mordin has said about hormones, about his own realisation that it's been a long time since he's been with a female. He needs to do _something_ so that he doesn't ruin their friendship. "Maybe I will."

The look Shepard gives him makes Garrus think that was the wrong answer. Her feet clomp on the metal of the stairs as she storms ahead. He follows behind, wondering if the offer to watch a vid has been rescinded or not when his omni-tool blips, alerting him of a new message. It's from one of his sources and he scans it eagerly.

"Shepard? I need a favour."

She stops at the doors next to the elevator, her expression dark, but she's listening.

"Can we head to the Citadel?" He sees her start to open her mouth and rushes on. "Not about the doctor. I don't care about that. This is important - I've got a lead on Sidonis."


	12. Chapter 12 Eye for an Eye

**Eye for an Eye**

Shepard remembers Harkin. The guy was a sleaze back when she first met him, the kind of dirty cop that drove Garrus to leave C-Sec. Harkin had insulted her and he'd made no secret of his corruption, revelling in it. And now the trail to Sidonis leads through him.

Garrus asks her to accompany him, but doesn't want anyone else with them. She suggests Thane Krios, as an assassin his skills _would_ be useful, but Garrus shakes his head, stubbornly refusing any additional help.

He's right; they _are_ fine, from a tactical point of view anyway, fighting through Harkin's men easily. But she worries about Garrus. He's not spoken a word to her outside of battle orders; a far cry from yesterday, when after a fun afternoon, she'd invited him to her room again. When for the first time in her life, she'd felt jealous of someone else… Doctor Michel.

She shakes her head; this isn't the time to think about this. She lay awake half of last night already, confused by their talk. He needs her focused and at his right hand, ready to help him. The last time she let her emotions distract her – when that missile had almost blown her off the bridge - she'd almost ruined the mission, hurt herself and her friends. Concentrate.

As Garrus prepares to storm Harkin's office, Shepard puts a gloved hand on his shoulder. "Are you ready?"

She barely recognises the turian looking back at her, his blue eyes narrowed, his mandibles tight to his chin in fury. "All I asked was your help finding him. _I'll_ pull the trigger."

She drops her hand as he bursts into the room, watching as he stomps up to Harkin and punches him to the ground. Harkin tries to cut a deal, but Garrus kicks him, barely listening.

Shepard is worried, she's not seen Garrus this angry, this brutal for a long time - not since they tracked down Doctor Saleon, and he was relentless then, too. Harkin doesn't recognise the change in his former colleague and pushes his luck too far. In seconds, the criminal is flat on his back with Garrus' boot pressing on his throat. Harkin scrabbles at the air, unable to breathe.

"Garrus," she murmurs, walking up beside him and grabbing his shoulder.

He doesn't look around, breathing heavily through his mouth as he stares at Harkin. After a few more seconds, face starting to darken with oxygen deprivation, the man waves his hands in surrender. Still, Garrus waits for a moment longer before removing his foot and letting the gasping Harkin rise.

The dirty ex-cop glares at Garrus, rubbing his throat as he puts in a call to Sidonis, arranging a meeting at the orbital lounge to discuss a possible compromise of his identity. As Harkin cuts off the call he's smug, sure that he's safe now he's handed over Garrus' betrayer.

But the turian isn't the young idealistic C-Sec officer that Harkin remembers, and Garrus draws his pistol in one fluid movement. Aiming it at Harkin's leg 'to slow him down a little', he squeezes the trigger; Shepard's push, deflecting the muzzle off-target, is barely in time.

"You don't need to do that. C-Sec will get him." She says.

Garrus glares at her, shaking her off. She's never seen him look at her this way and flinches at the hate in his eyes, but he holsters his gun, so she turns to walk away.

A thud from behind has her spinning around, weapon drawn. Harkin is on the floor, blood trickling down his face, a splash of red on Garrus' face telling her that the turian head butted him.

"I didn't shoot him." He shrugs, stalking away, fists clenched at his sides.

#

She's sitting in the back of the automated taxi, barely able to breathe. It's taken him glaring at her, staring at her with hate in his eyes, for her to realise. She cares about him. About her friend, Garrus. Perhaps more than she should.

He barely looks like the same person as yesterday. He'd been so happy and relaxed then, it felt like they could talk about anything, _everything_. Even Chakwas had noticed the change, teasing her about the 'love-sick puppy' following her around. She'd laughed it off at first; but it had been later, lying alone in her cold bed, that she had remembered how he'd looked at her, the light in his eyes, the turian smile on his face. She'd missed him that night, already used to his company, his warmth against her side. It's only now that that she's realising she's not missing her friend. There's something more growing between them; their friendship has changed, deepened.

It's not what she had with Kaidan. They had clutched at each other, desperate for some kind of connection. The intense peaks and troughs of their emotions, her lust for an undeniably handsome man. But had she ever known what Kaidan's favourite food was? Had she _cared_? She couldn't say what books he read, or if he would have enjoyed watching her bad war vids, or just pretended – the way Garrus does.

Garrus. He's staring straight ahead as the taxi swoops through the air. He looks like an angry predator, stalking his prey, unwilling or unable to forgive. He's never looked more alien to her than at this moment. She reaches out to touch him and he shrugs her away, turning his head to look out of the window. She tries to touch him again, but he shies away with a snarl.

"I'm worried about you. This anger isn't like you," she says.

Garrus glowers at her, his mandibles trembling. His jaw is set and the expression in his eyes makes her shiver. "What would _you_ do if someone betrayed you?"

She thinks for a moment. "Kaidan did, remember? I didn't let it change me." Shepard shakes her head.

"I'd have said the same thing before it happened to me." Garrus replies and turns away from her again.

The taxi pulls in and Shepard moves to his side. She takes his hand and threads her fingers through his. "Let me speak to him for you at least. Please."

"If you want," he shrugs. "But I won't change my mind. I don't _care_ what his reasons were. He screwed up, he deserves to die." He doesn't look at her, and pulls his hand away.

She hates seeing him like this, but he won't let her in. What can she do? She chews her lower lip, trying to figure out how to get through to him.

He's looking around at the various balconies and walkways in the area. "There," he points. "I can get a clear shot from over there. Keep him talking. When I've got him in my sights I'll let you know."

He doesn't look at her, doesn't wait to see if she agrees, he just steps into the shadows and disappears.

Shepard walks towards the meeting place. She hates to see Garrus likes this, can't imagine him always having this rage inside him. If he kills Sidonis, will he be at peace? Will it help?

There isn't much of a crowd around and she can see a Turian ahead. He paces in front of her, tiny eyes darting around the room nonstop. She steps closer, one hand help up in greeting. Sidonis has pale blue vertical stripes on his chin and white eyes that peer at her in fear.

She hears Garrus' voice through her headset. "You're in my shot, move to one side."

Shepard looks at the nervous turian in front of her and makes her decision. "Listen Sidonis, I'm here to help you." She whispers, moving even closer to him.

She ignores Garrus' hiss of anger in her ear, watching Sidonis flinch at her casual use of his real name.

She tells him not to move, explaining where Garrus is, what he wants to do. Sidonis tries to weasel away, but she grabs his arm, holding him in place, safe from Garrus' sniping skills.

"Let me take the shot, he's a damn coward." Garrus growls.

Sidonis continues to explain how he was pressured into his actions, how he knows he's to blame. His survivor's guilt keeps him awake, unable to eat, unable to enjoy anything. "I just want it to be over." Sidonis drops his face into his hands.

"Just give me the chance," Garrus snarls.

"Look at him Garrus," she says, "he's not alive - there's nothing left to kill."

But even with all his fury, his breathing is measured and slow. Timed to increase his chances for a perfect shot, she knows. "Garrus, remember Saren? He killed Jenkins, Nihlus, Ashley. They were my responsibility, too."

"Yeah, and you chased _him_ across the _galaxy_. I was _there_." He snaps.

"And you were also there when I had the chance for revenge. He was lined up in my scope, and I let him go. I will never regret that." She reminds him.

All she can hear on the line is his measured breathing. Is he thinking about what she said? Is he waiting for her to move to take his chance?

She's about to try reasoning with him again when Sidonis looks up, tears streaming down his rough skin. "Could you...could you tell Garrus for me? I guess there's nothing I can say right now to make it better."

Garrus can hear him through her headset, so she waits, trying to discern any difference in his breathing. Seconds tick by, it's almost a minute before he speaks, and when he does his voice is different, the anger gone.

"Just go…tell him to go."

She pats Sidonis on the arm and tries to smile, forcing her commander mask to control her expression. "He's giving you a second chance Sidonis. Don't waste it."

Sidonis looks up into the darkness above him, trying to spot his would-be assassin. "I'll try Garrus; I'll make it up to you somehow." He looks back at her, his mandibles trembling. "Thank you for talking to him."

"I did it for Garrus, not for you," she murmurs as he leaves.

Garrus is already walking away from her when she returns to where they split up. His head down, his shoulders hunched; he doesn't want her near him, doesn't want her help any more. This is the man she trusts more than anyone, the one who is there for her, always ready to listen to her without judging, a shoulder to cry on. Her best friend. The man she's coming to realise means more to her than she's acknowledged.

And it's only now, as he walks away from her, that she finally realises what she's feeling. Why she keeps turning to _him_, why she wants to spend all of her time with _him_. Because it's _Garrus_ and because she _cares_ for him.

"Oh shit," she whispers, eyes wide and one hand over her mouth.

#

He says he doesn't want to talk about it, but Shepard stands silently at his side as he looks out over the Citadel and talks, and talks, and talks. He's calmer now, most of the fury has bled out of him and he looks lost.

He says how he's done the right thing for _him_, but that it might not be the right thing for his men. How he prefers the world in black and white, and he doesn't know what to do with grey.

She leans her head on his shoulder and takes his hand, their metal gloves reducing some of the intimacy. "You've got to go with your instincts."

He huffs, but he leans his head against hers. "My _instincts_ are what got me into this mess."

And even though she knows he's hurting, she does the only thing she can think of to help. She pulls on his hand, forcing him to face her and she wraps her arms around his chest, pulling him into a hug.

Startled, he looks down at her, eyes wide. They've lost the predatory glint and his mandibles are quivering. She lifts a hand and rubs the back of her glove gently across his cheek. "Your instincts aren't always wrong, you know."

She can see the confusion in his eyes as he leans into her touch; the low rumbling from his chest sounds like a lion purring.

"Shepard?" He whispers, lowering his head to rest his forehead against hers.

"Garrus, I need to tell you something." She can feel how much he's trembling, his body resting against her own. "It's about how I feel about you..."

Their intercoms blip and a harried sounding Joker interrupts her. "Commander, we need you back here on the double. Jack and Miranda are fighting and it's looking like they might tear the ship apart." There's a loud boom noise in the background before Joker continues. "In fact, unless you hurry, you might need to request a new ship."

She wants to scream in frustration but, as always, Garrus understands. With a bark of laughter he relaxes from their embrace, letting her go.

"Thanks Shepard – for everything. I feel better. We can talk again after you save the world from those two insane women, if you want?" His mandibles widen into a small smile.

"I'm with you." She walks by his side as they head towards the docks. She spots him glancing at her as he walks, looking away quickly each time she catches him, and she can't help the grin that's plastered across her face.

Who knew that she'd fall for _Garrus_. How the hell will that go down on the xenophobic Cerberus ship? She shakes her head. First she needs to get him back on track, and then she can worry about what the hell else they think they're doing.


	13. Chapter 13 The Prodigal

**The Prodigal**

She feels like a school teacher. Or a mother. Someone surrounded by misbehaving, unrepentant children anyway. EDI tells her that the two literally bumped into each other in the mess hall and the fight started from there, but Miranda should know better than to stoop to Jack's level..

The two women are facing off when Shepard and Garrus arrive, Jack crackling with biotic power while Miranda holds a pistol. Miranda rips Jack's shields apart; Jack throws a biotic burst in return.

The crewmen watching in a semi-circle, enjoying the fight like kids in the playground. Some of them are cheering, some laughing, but all should know better than this.

Mordin and Samara are standing off to one side, heads together. They both look aloof and detached, unconcerned by the two women circling each other. She can hear snippets of their conversation as they clinically dissect the behaviour in front of them.

Some of the crewmen see her and scatter as the door hisses shut behind her, murmurs and whispers breaking up the crowd a little. Shepard pushes to the front and pauses, hands on her hips. "Miranda, I left you in charge of my ship. Jack, wait there, Crewman Hawthorne, clear everyone else out. Now."

The crew shuffle away, heads down as Hawthorne ushers them to the elevator. Shepard flickers her gaze to watch Garrus head to his room before focusing on the Cerberus operative again. There are a few grumbles and mutters, but in less than a minute, Shepard is alone with the two women.

Miranda lowers her gun, and runs a hand through her hair. "Shepard, uh… I…"

"The cheerleader knocked my food out of my hand," Jack indicates half dried mush on her almost-naked torso. "I _had_ to kick the bitch's ass."

"That's not exactly how it started…" Miranda starts, her normally smooth brow creased.

"I'm more interested in why you didn't _finish_ it, Lawson," Shepard steps closer to her. "I expect better from my XO than a public brawl."

"You're right Commander." Miranda drops her gaze. "I apologise for this mistake."

Jack relaxes her own pose with a smug grin, the flickers of energy fading from her fingertips.

"And Jack, I'm surprised you don't use it as an excuse to get _Donnelly_ to lick you clean." Shepard raises an eyebrow.

Jack snorts and heads to the elevator, calling over her shoulder. "I'm not falling for that one, Shepard. That accent might be hot, but I don't _do_ red-heads."

Shepard waits for a moment to ensure they're really alone before moving closer to her second in command. "Now, tell me the real reason for this. I know you; you don't get upset for no reason."

And for the first time since Shepard has known her, there's a flicker of something other than distain in Miranda's pale eyes.

The dark haired woman paces the mess hall, her hands animatedly punctuating her speech as she describes the problem. As part of his obsession, her father created a genetic duplicate of Miranda and named her Oriana. Miranda joined Cerberus to hide them both from him. Her twin has been living in anonymity on Illium, but now Miranda has received word that their father has found her sister and is planning to abduct her.

Shepard watches Miranda as she explains. She looks genuinely upset and worried, not a state conducive to the upcoming Omega 4 mission.

"Want us to head over there now?" Shepard asks.

The offer is worth it for Miranda's expression alone. She smiles widely, eyes sparkling, looking like the young woman she is, rather than the serious officer she portrays. "Thank you Commander. I appreciate it."

Shepard nods, "No problem, Miranda. However, I recommend that we don't take Jack with us when we go."

And Shepard is rewarded with a happy peal of laughter as Miranda agrees.

Well, that's one problem down. Shepard glances along the corridor to the door at the end and takes a deep breath. Now for the one she is dreading.

#

He's left the door unlocked, the access light glowing green. She should know that it means he doesn't mind her visiting. But he can hear her outside; she's paced up and down the corridor a few times and not come in yet. He's gathering up the nerve to go out and invite her in when there's a clang, as if she's kicked something, followed by a loud curse.

The doors slide open and she's there, in the room. He's standing with his back to her, head looking towards his console, but his gaze is unfocussed. He can hardly think when she's around. Especially after she held him earlier. After what she'd begun to say.

He takes a deep breath as the doors slide shut and turns to face her. "Shepard."

"Are you okay to talk now?" Her voice is low and she sounds a little unsure of herself. She's bracing herself against another console, knuckles white where they grip the metal. She's chewing on her lower lip and her brows are pulled together.

A feeling of warmth rushes through him and he moves closer to her, unable to stop his hand reaching out to her, holding onto her shoulder. "I wanted to thank you again for your help with Sidonis… I… I'm still not sure how I feel about it, but I'm glad you did what you did."

"Anything for you, Garrus." She reaches up to place her hand over his. "How are you? You still look tense."

"I am," he shrugs. "You know me Shepard, I don't like letting the bad guys get away." He moves closer still, lifting his other hand to brush it against her cheek. "But I trust you. I trust your judgement. I'm glad you were with me today, I needed you to keep me honest."

She leans into his touch, her skin soft against his. The tips of her hair brush against the back of his hand and he slides his talons through it, letting it drip between his fingers like water. He hears her sigh and his eyes flick to her face. She's smiling at him, but she's still chewing her lower lip. A human sign of nerves?

"How did the fight go?" He makes a joke of inspecting her face for bruises. "No blood spilled?"

Shepard laughs, her body relaxing against his. He can feel the soft press of her chest, the jut of her hipbones against him. There are bones and angles and soft, pliable flesh in strange places and he has no idea where he can put his hands without offending her, so he keeps one by her face, caressing her hair, the other gripping her shoulder.

"Miranda was stressed and she took it out on Jack. Nothing major was damaged. Well, possibly Miranda's ego, but that _needed_ reducing; it's bigger than the Normandy."

Garrus holds his mandibles wide. "These commander types," he says, stroking a talon across her cheek, "taking out their _frustrations_ on us lowly crew. Know anyone else who needs to do that?"

She laughs and pokes him in the ribs. He likes the feel of her touching him and he purrs softly.

"I like the sound of working off stress." She says, laying a hand on his stomach and sliding it upwards, her fingers tracing the heavy plates through his shirt. He'd never think it erotic if a turian woman touched him in this way, but he knows that Shepard has never seen his chest, has no idea what he likes. Besides, he doesn't want her to stop exploring.

"With or without the public fighting?" He traces a talon across her lower lip, exploring her face as she's exploring his torso. It's soft and damp, moving as he presses it. She smiles and his talon slips downwards to her chin, tracing her jaw line to her throat.

"Oh, I think for what I have in mind, I'd definitely prefer it to be a _private_... bout." She does that strange laugh, the one low in her throat that sounds so dirty.

She looks up at him through her eyelashes and he notices for the first time how strange it is, hair on her head, above her eyes, around her eyes...

"Do you have hair in places other than your head?" Garrus wonders aloud.

He watches as first she goes a strange red colour, then she buries her face against his chest and he feels her shoulders shaking as she laughs. She's snorting and coughing, her hands clutching his shirt as her body trembles.

"I'm sorry," she wheezes between giggles. "But that... that question just reminded me of how crazy this..." she waves her hand between them "all is."

He cocks his head, mandibles quivering. "You know, you never did tell me what you wanted to say at the Citadel, before Joker interrupted."

Her laughter dies and she glances to the floor, blinking rapidly. For a moment he's worried that he's said the wrong thing. "Tell me first," she asks, almost too quietly for him to hear, "did you mean it about wanting to see Dr Michel?"

"Shepard…" He growls in warning.

"Okay, okay," she rolls her eyes, still not looking at him. "God, this is _so_ hard."

He knows what she means; he has so much inside that he wants to tell her, but how? How can he explain these strange feelings that he barely understands himself? So he does the only thing he can think of, the thing she did for him after Sidonis.

His arms slide around her shoulders as he dips his face closer to hers. She looks up, startled, and for a brief moment he wonders if he misunderstood her intentions. Then she's touching his cheek, her fingers ghosting along the scar towards his mandible. He's conscious of the feel of her fingers, her breath warm against his mouth. He's sure she can hear how hard his heart is pounding, the way his blood is rushing underneath his plating.

"Garrus, I…" Her thumb brushes along his lower lip, but she holds his gaze.

Her finger feels so soft against his own hard skin, he can barely think. "…Shepard, tell me…"

Then she's standing on her tiptoes and he feels this strange softness pressing against his mouth. He looks down at her, lips pressed against his, her eyes closed and his mandibles flutter against her chin.

It's an entirely new experience for him; turian's don't kiss, not like this, but he likes the feel of her body pressed hard against him, how she's holding her breath as her lips move. Garrus tries to move his own hard lips and she sighs. It sounds like a happy sigh, so he tries again, brushing his mandibles against her skin, moving his lips against hers as she presses her body closer. He's not sure how he feels about this, but from the trembling in her body, she's enjoying it, and that's all he needs to know.

After a moment, she pulls back a little and opens her eyes. "I didn't realise..." She licks her lips and looks at his mouth. "Did you... was that nice for you, too?"

"Commander," Joker's voice cuts through the room. "Arriving at Illium in five minutes."

"God _damn_ it Joker," Shepard snarls. "Your timing sucks."

Garrus huffs against the top of her head, allowing himself a quick inhale to catch the scent of her hair before they pull away from each other.

"Sorry Commander," Joker replies, not sounding sorry at all.

Over the comm. Garrus can clearly hear EDI's smug voice in the background.. "I _told_ you that turian's have lips. If they didn't, they couldn't pronounce plosives like P's and B's..."

"And stop watching us!" She shouts into the air.

Garrus turns away from her, tapping a few commands into his console. "I've found a way to turn EDI off, stop Cerberus monitoring in certain areas. Never had a reason to use it before. We're good in here now."

"That might have been useful five minutes ago." She rolls her eyes. "Can you turn it off for my cabin too?"

He taps a few more times and then checks the readouts. "Done." He turns back to where she's standing behind him. Her lips look a little puffed and red, but she's still smiling at him. "Thinking ahead for our... ah, what did you call it - _bout_?"

She laughs, shaking her head. "Nothing like that yet, Garrus. Let's not disrupt things too much right away. This is a Cerberus ship; I don't think everyone will be as forgiving as Joker."

"Yeah, you're right." He rubs the back of his neck. "So, what are we doing on Illium again?"

#

Even after the fight earlier, Shepard isn't used to this - seeing Miranda emotional about something. In the hunt for her sister, she'd trusted her old friend Niket to look after Oriana. However, after killing their way through half an army of mercs, they've finally caught up with him – the man behind this mess. That's when Miranda realises that her friend Niket is the one responsible for her twin's kidnap. She's breathing heavily, her pistol wavering as she aims.

Niket, the only person from her old life that Miranda has ever trusted, has turned on her. When Miranda took Oriana from their father, she hadn't included Niket in her plans – to keep him safe. But he misunderstood, he thought that Miranda stole her sister from a life of luxury out of a sense of personal vengeance. He says that he was helping Oriana by returning her to her natural father. But his eyes tell the truth, Miranda excluded him from her plans, he was hurting at her lack of trust, so he struck back.

Shepard is watching Miranda. There's anger, betrayal and pain warring on her face, but Shepard doesn't know her well enough to know what to do.

It's Garrus who makes the move, stepping up and pushing Miranda's trembling hand aside.

"Trust me," he rumbles. "Killing your friend isn't something you want on your conscience."

Garrus turns his head to look at her, and from the expression in his eyes Shepard understands that he's truly forgiven her about Sidonis.

Miranda sighs and lowers her gun. Her friend Niket lowers his hands and takes a step forward. "Miranda, I'm sorry, I was upset you didn't trust..."

There's a shot as the merc leader, Enyala, shoots him in the back before ducking into cover. The asari commando peppers the air with shotgun bursts.

Miranda is looking down at her childhood friend, disbelieving, distracted and completely oblivious as the asari aims a shot at her head. Shepard watches in horror as Garrus throws himself in the way. His shields ripple and fade as he rolls behind cover, with Miranda startled out of her thoughts and now prone on the floor.

"Garrus," Shepard calls as she lays down suppressing fire. "Report in."

She glances to her left, Miranda has crawled to cover, unharmed, and a blue glow is flickering across her hands. Garrus still hasn't moved from his spot.

Shepard fires another burst over the wall, "Garrus!"

"I'm fine, shields down, but fine." Garrus' voice sounds low, but she trusts him.

Using her hand, she motions for Miranda to follow her lead. Shepard counts down, then charges forward, firing her assault rifle towards Enyala's hiding place. The commando emerges from cover, her shotgun rising.

A blast of blue biotic energy flies past Shepard as Miranda overloads their enemy's shields. The asari looks shocked and is about to dive for cover when there's a single shot, and she falls to her knees, one tiny hole between her eyes.

"Scoped and dropped," Garrus voice crackles through her headset.

"Smug bastard," she murmurs back, her smile widening at his answering chuckle. She trots back to where he's standing, his rifle dangling from one hand.

A quick glace shows that, while his armour is still damaged from his gunship battle as Archangel, there are no new holes from today.

"Too close Garrus," she shakes her head, reaching for him.

"I'm fine Commander," he flicks his gaze over her head to something behind her. "Nothing to worry about. Let's focus on the mission."

She takes his expression to mean that Miranda is close, so she clenches her hands back to her sides and turns to her XO.

Luckily Miranda is distracted, checking her omni-tool. "Oriana is fine, Commander. All of the mercs are down, we're good here. She... she's safe."

As they head into the elevator to the main concourse, Miranda is quiet, her head down. The doors spring open, and in the distance, Shepard can see a younger version of Miranda. Casual clothes, short bob haircut. But it's the same woman.

Miranda watches her for a moment, the girl smiling and laughing as she stands with her adoptive parents. Miranda's face is a shuttered blank, her emotions tied down. "We should go."

"Don't you want to speak to her?" Shepard asks.

"It's not about what I want, it's about what's right for _her_. I'll just complicate things." Miranda's accent twangs more sharply than usual, her perfect facade slipping.

"Would it be so bad for her to know she has a sister?" Shepard places a hand on her shoulder and pushes her gently. "Go on, we'll wait here."

Shepard leans her head against Garrus' shoulder as they stand, watching Miranda speaking with her genetic twin.

Garrus flips his intercom off then says. "You can't let your feelings for me distract you, Shepard. Too dangerous."

She nods, switching her suit mic off too. "I know. I never let it distract me with Kaidan, so I should know better. Won't happen again."

Garrus just rumbles softly in response, both of them still watching Miranda. She's smiling and laughing with her sister, both of them waving their hands in very similar gestures as they chat.

"Never knew she had a heart," Garrus says, his voice vibrating through his shoulder into her cheek.

"It turns out everyone does, even grumpy old ex-C-Sec officers. Surprising, huh?" She glances up to look at him.

"Very funny, Shepard," Garrus growls, but his mandibles twitch wider as he looks back at her.


	14. Chapter 14 Tali

**Tali**

Shepard is lying back on her bed, smiling at him. Her hair is loose, flowing over her shoulders and across the pillow, and he can almost smell it as she tilts her head and waves a hand at him, beckoning him closer. He thinks back, trying to remember where Alenko used to touch her, but the human couple rarely spoke in public, never mind anything romantic. A hand in the small of her back, a nuzzle against her throat – his memories of Alenko are no use.

He looks at her mouth, full lips partially open, her tongue flickering across the bottom lip, and he wonders if she'd like him to...

"Officer Vakarian." EDI's voice interrupts his daydreams.

"What?" Garrus snaps, coming back to himself. He's at his console and he's _calibrating_. Those damned firing algorithms that he can't concentrate on. He's not in Shepard's quarters and he's definitely _not_ trying to figure out how to pleasure her.

He's not even _seen_ her since Illium. When they returned she got pulled into sorting out a report, then another problem with supplies that needed dealing with right away, and all the while a slowly-growing line of crew wait for her attention. He'd left to give her space to deal with being the commander.

But he's been unable to stop his mind from drifting to her, thinking about her body against his, how it felt, her breath mingling with his own. The strange shape of her hips, her nose and how far it sticks out. Breasts. He still doesn't quite understand the significance of those.

"Officer Vakarian," EDI's soft voice interrupts his thoughts again. "Commander Shepard has awakened the krogan on the engineering deck, against my advice. He is currently attacking her. She hasn't taken a breath for 2.3 minutes." EDI manages to sound both disapproving and worried at the same time.

He's out of his room and running down the corridor almost before the AI finishes speaking, metal boots clanging on the floor. The elevator seems to be taking longer than usual and he curses the Cerberus engineers who failed to add any emergency stairs.

He stares at the elevator doors, cursing himself for his daydreams, cursing Shepard for doing something so foolhardy without him. A krogan…_why_ isn't he in full armour? Why did he store his weapon?

The lift doors open and he sprints to the port cargo hold where the pod containing the krogan was being kept. He can smell Shepard and the dry, dusty scent of a krogan as the doors open and he bursts into the room.

He's calculating the distances between them, the relative strength of himself versus a young krogan when he registers the scene and he pauses in surprise. Shepard is leaning against the metal railing and the krogan is pacing in front of her. Neither seem agitated, although Shepard is rubbing her throat with one hand.

"Garrus, something wrong?" Shepard looks surprised at his intrusion, eyebrows raised, her voice lifting at the end of her sentence. The krogan stops pacing and glowers at him. It's short, for a male, and it has an unusual silver coloured crest and soft, pink flesh.

"Uh, EDI said... um... she called me down here to help?" Garrus looks for the AI, but there's no helpful blue sphere in sight.

The krogan laughs, his deep voice echoing around the small room. "You have a pet turian for protection? This _is_ an interesting clan indeed, Shepard."

"Garrus, meet Grunt. We may have had a... discussion, when he awoke, but he's a part of our crew now." Shepard nods to the krogan who starts to pace the small room again. There's a darkening red mark on her neck, and her voice sounds a touch croakier than usual.

"Just to be sure..." Garrus rubs a hand across the back of his neck. "You _don't_ need rescuing?"

"That will be all, Vakarian," her glare is enough to send him scrabbling out of the room, towards the elevator. He can hear the snorts of the krogan's amusement and her exaggerated sigh.

As he passes one of EDI's terminals, the AI pops up and glows at him. "Thank you for the assistance Officer Vakarian." She purrs.

He's never heard her sound so superior before and he stops, suddenly realising what just happened. "Did you just get me in trouble with the commander as payback for turning your surveillance off in her chambers?"

"I'm afraid I don't follow your logic, Officer Vakarian. I'm an AI; I don't care about emotional things like 'payback'." EDI responds before the blue sphere disappears.

"You won't be saying that when I hack into your AI core," he mutters, slinking back to the main battery.

#

Halestrom was a quarian planet once, a long time before the geth invaded. Now, with the sun going nova and synthetics everywhere, this isn't a safe planet for Tali to be doing her scientific research for the fleet. Yet this is where the Illusive Man directs them, to rescue her friend from an overpowering geth army.

Kinetic shields burn down in seconds in direct sunlight, so they have to sprint between patches of shade, exploring the ancient quarian ruins for signs of their friend. There are geth roaming the planet, and problems with rubble blocking their path, but Shepard leads with Garrus and Mordin following behind, confident they _will_ find a way.

They pass numerous quarian corpses, all recently killed, and her concern about the status of her former crewmate, Tali'Zorah nar Rayya, is only growing. By the time they reach Kal'Reegar, she is past worried.

The stairwell ahead is surrounded by geth foot soldiers, a self-repairing colossus dominates the room beyond the stairs, and the leader of the defending force, Kal'Reegar, is badly injured. However he does have some good news for them; Tali is safe, but trapped on the far side of the colossus below.

The tall quarian male is half lying behind a wall, clutching a missile launcher in one shaky hand. Mordin confirms that the suit has repaired itself and that the antibiotics are keeping Kal'Reegar alive, but Shepard shakes her head when he offers to help take down the colossus.

She can tell he's offended, he's the most muscular quarian she's ever seen - and their suits leave little to the imagination - his tactical assessment of the battlefield is superb, but she can see how much pain he's in and she refuses to let any more quarians die today.

Garrus and Mordin, her dream team, make short work of the geth footsoldiers, mixing up combat skills with tech genius; the synthetics don't stand a chance. But the colossus sitting in the centre of the room remains, a fat spider in the centre of its web, patiently waiting for its prey.

Sprinting across the battlefield, Shepard sends her men to cover on either side of her. The steel grey unit fires pulse after pulse, keeping them pinned down as they gradually burn through its shields. Finally their combined firepower and Mordin's tech skills do more damage than the geth armature's self-repair protocol and it collapses, bursting into flames.

Shepard hears Kal-Reegar's excited whoop; she's glad to know that he made it. As they navigate their way through the rubble to the back of the room, Tali unlocks the door to her hiding place: an old tech lab where the engineer has been busy mining data.

Shepard is pleased to see that she looks unharmed, but it's when Kal'Reegar appears to take her home that Shepard sees a change in the girl. Tali flutters around the soldier, inspecting his suit, checking that he is well, that his antibiotics are working. The male quarian seems to enjoy her attention, sitting back and pretending to be far worse off than he'd tried to prove to Shepard before the fight.

Shepard grins at Garrus who just shrugs back, not following. She sighs; sometimes she misses having a female companion with her. Not that Miranda would have smiled, either.

Tali finishes checking her friends suit, before informing him that she's leaving the fleet to join the Normandy. Kal'Reegar takes the news stoically, but Shepard can tell there's an undercurrent to their conversation, and she makes a note to speak to Tali later. Romance and enviro-suits. Interesting.

#

Tali is noticeably aggressive towards Jacob, and Shepard enjoys watching the Cerberus agent squirm. She has nothing against him, per se, but she's so sick of Cerberus in general that she can't help but enjoy Tali's caustic tongue lashing.

"I'm here for Shepard, _not _Cerberus." Tali folds her arms across her chest, her suit faceplate reflecting back the environmental lights and giving nothing away.

Jacob shifts his weight, looking at the floor. "Still, your skills are impressive."

"Yes, they are," Shepard agrees. "I think you should go familiarise yourself with the ship. Oh, and EDI? Please introduce yourself to Tali."

EDI pops up out of her terminal with a 'Welcome aboard the Normandy Tali'Zorah'. Tali's squeal of rage is exactly what Shepard was looking for. She can still hear the quarian berating Jacob for Cerberus' stupidity in creating an AI as she exits the comms room. Sometimes the simple pleasures are the best, she thinks, humming to herself.

#

She's leaning on the computer panel again, with that same half smile that's been driving him crazy all day when she asks, "have you got a minute?"

He launches into the speech he's been preparing, about how crazy an idea it is, about how she can find something better, someone closer to home. Even as he says it, he thinks of Jacob and he winces.

"I don't want something closer to home. I want someone I can trust." She stands up and walks closer to him.

It's what he wants to hear, but her proximity sets him off babbling again - figuring out how to do this, about interspecies awkwardness only for him to fall silent when she steps closer and places a hand over his. She laces their fingers together, five soft digits against his own three. "You know Garrus, if you're not comfortable with this, it's okay. I'm not trying to pressure you."

And all he can smell is her hair; he wants to bury his face in the softness, let her scent wash over him as he holds her close, warming her against his skin. He looks up from their hands and sees that there's anxiousness in the tightness around her eyes, in the line between her brows.

"Shepard," he squeezes her fingers. "You don't ever have to worry about making me uncomfortable. Nervous, yes, but never uncomfortable."

Then she's kissing him again, her mouth on his. He wraps his arms around her waist, pulling her closer, letting her kiss him. He's still not convinced by this human display of affection, but she's trembling, one hand sliding up his back, so he lets her continue. Her eyes are closed as she moves her lips against his.

Then her tongue is licking across his lower lip, making him gasp, and that's when she slips it into his mouth, insistently pressing against his own tongue.

Garrus is surprised; he had no idea tongues were involved in kissing, but it feels wonderful, the taste of her bursting in his mouth, the sensation of their tongues brushing together, teasing him as her lips continue to move, pressing along his mouth. His mandibles flutter, stroking her cheek down to her chin. His eyes slide closed and he lets his mind drift as the novel sensations drive all rational thought from his mind.

He can't help the low growl that slips out as she pulls away, their chests heaving in unison as they gasp for air. "I think... I think I understand about kissing now."

She laughs, her head dropping to nuzzle his neck. "I'm glad. I wasn't sure you'd enjoyed it last time."

"I wasn't sure either," he says honestly, licking his lips, his flickering tongue reminding him of how she tastes. "You know turians don't kiss like that. But this time, what you did with your tongue. I liked it."

"Garrus, trust me when I say I can do _other_ things with my tongue that you're going to love," she grins, the hand on his back slipping a little lower, pressing his hips closer to hers.

He blinks, his mind straying back to his daydreams earlier. "That sounds... interesting?"

"So, no more worries about closer to home, okay?" she licks along his neck and he purrs again. Tongues - who knew?

"No more Doctor Michel worries, then," he grins as he feels her laughter against his throat, her lips kissing along his skin a strange new experience for him. "Normally turians would never touch each other's throats. Soft skin, sharp teeth, it's a bad combination."

She pulls back, her face flushing. "I'm sorry, you smelled so good, I..."

"Don't misunderstand me," he tightens his arms around her waist. "I like it. When you first went near my throat, in your room when you were shivering that time; it honestly scared the hell out of me. But now, yeah, I like it."

"We could try that again, sometime. You come up to my room and we can see what else you like." He can hear her amusement as she speaks. "Think about it - we can talk again tomorrow." She brushes her fingers across his cheek before stepping away backwards. "Okay?

He nods, and she smiles as the doors slide shut, separating them.

He listens to her walking away, humming a tune he doesn't recognise as she heads to down the corridor. As the sound dies away, he sits down on the edge of his console, heart thumping in his chest so hard he's afraid it will burst.

_Tomorrow_.


	15. Chapter 15 Derelict

**Derelict**

Everything he says; truth wrapped in lies. Everything he does; tricks and prevarications. The Illusive Man lives up to his name.

As the comm. powers down, Shepard steps away from the terminal. Another story she can't quite believe; a turian patrol has disabled a collector ship and he wants her to investigate. Another mission, like Horizon, where the Illusive Man pulls her strings and watches her dance to his tune.

She still hasn't forgotten Horizon or forgiven him for it. How he leaked rumours of her rebirth to draw the Alliance - and Kaidan – there. How those rumours also drew the collectors to the planet, ending with the enigmatic aliens kidnapping over half of the colony's population. More people on her conscience, more deaths she could have prevented if she wasn't being lied to. And her old team mate, her one time lover, thrown into danger.

And now the Illusive Man has sent her the co-ordinates for a disabled collector ship, expecting her to take _more_ crew into harms way. She wonders what he's holding back this time, what she could do if she knew the whole truth?

She's standing behind Joker in full battle gear as they draw close to the vessel. Hanging in space, the huge, lumpy ship is strangely organic looking, no sleek metal lines, no obvious drives or weapons.

"Outwardly, it looks dead - systems offline, thrusters cold." Joker says.

A blue sphere pops up beside the pilots chair. "I detect no breaches, although the drive core _is_ offline," the AI adds.

Shepard pats the back of Joker's chair once and heads out.

"Good luck, commander," he calls after her.

Heading down to the cargo bay, she sees Garrus at the Kodiak shuttle's controls, with Thane strapping in behind him. Both men move silently, preparing for their mission.

Shepard climbs into the co-pilot seat beside Garrus and slaps the dash. "Let's move out."

Garrus pilots the shuttle towards the collectors' ship, aiming for a slender docking bay half concealed in the organic folds. As they enter the larger vessel, he hits the automated landing sequence and Shepard moves to the exit, donning her helmet.

The shuttle door opens upwards, and Shepard moves out, flanked by Thane on the left and Garrus on her right. Both men have their sniper rifles in their hands, the only sound their breathing through their helmet intercoms.

"I love what they've done with the place," Garrus murmurs as they look around the inside of the ship.

Her thoughts about it being organic seem justified. The walls rise in a curve above them, rib-like structures holding the shape. Clear fluids drip constantly from the ceiling and she notices that the ship is making a low, groaning noise. It's the most alien place Shepard has ever seen in a lifetime of exploring alien worlds.

"It looks like an insect hive," Thane says, and she has to agree. Even though she knows it's a space fairing vehicle, it looks like some giant ant has moulded the walls with spit and dirt.

She shoulders her assault rifle and waves her hand for them to follow. The floor is soft, slightly spongy as she walks, and she prays that they don't need to run on it.

The corridor branches out, leading in different directions and Shepard consults EDI's analysis for where to go. "This way." She moves deeper into the heart of the ship, where the strange sighing and groaning sounds seem to emanate from.

"Commander," EDI's voice interrupts their silence. "I have compared this ship's EM signature to known collector profiles. It is the vessel you encountered on Horizon."

Shepard keeps her gun to her shoulder as she thinks about this. "Maybe the defence towers Kaidan built crippled it, and that's how the turians disabled it?"

She hears Garrus huff, then his intercom crackles. "The colonists might still be on board. If they're still alive."

She nods, moving forward again. The long, oozing halls are still empty, no sign of any kind of life, no collector corpses from the fight with the turians.

A shiver runs down her back as she turns a corner. Pods, the same pods as on Horizon, lie scattered in a corner. Cracked open, they look almost like an insect has birthed from them. A cocoon.

"Horrible. Trapped in these pods, completely at the mercy of the collectors." Garrus whispers to himself, his voice amplified through the headset.

But no bodies, Shepard thinks, poking at the hard edge of a pod with her rifle. Signalling to move forward, they continue to move deeper into the ship.

The dripping increases, the clear liquid now running in rivulets along the corridors. She can't understand why a ship would be built like this and wishes she had Mordin with her. But a glance out of the corner of her eye at the assassin reminds her of why he is a better choice if it's a trap. He's stalking a few paces behind her like a big cat, hugging the shadows, the soft light reflecting off the zip on the front of his dark suit.

"This looks bad," Garrus says, pulling her concentration back on track.

A pile of human corpses lie discarded at the edge of a room. Mutilated, the blood has pooled underneath them and dried, a dark contrast to the pale cadavers.

"What… why are these here?" Thane sounds shocked out of his usual calm demeanour, there's a roughness to his voice.

"Must have been used for testing. I'd say these subjects didn't pass," Garrus circles the pile.

Shepard looks for identification, but the remains are too damaged, the clothing too shredded. She remembers waking up during her Lazarus procedure, the horror of being on an operating table, the helplessness that she had felt. And that had been people trying to assist her, not experiment on her. "There are worse things than death - like being a test subject for twisted aliens."

"You're probably right. Doesn't seem much better though," Garrus sounds affected as he pauses by a dark haired female corpse in a shredded khaki uniform. Her brown bob is matted to her cheeks, her eyes vacant and staring.

"Let's move out, nothing we can do here." Shepard is already moving, as she senses the two men fall into formation behind her.

The corridor widens as they progress, with strange openings that drop away downwards into darkness and some ceilings that curve upwards out of sight. She remembers that she's seen the collectors fly, and wonder if this is how they navigate floors on this ship.

Another corner and another horror is revealed. She squares her shoulders and steps towards the occupied pod. But instead of a human, she sees that there is a collector inside, wired up to a nearby terminal.

Garrus pauses alongside the pod, leaning closer, sniffing, with his mandibles held close to his cheeks. "That's a collector. Were they experimenting on one of their own?"

Shepard examines the terminal that's attached to the pod. "EDI, upload the data from this terminal. See if you can figure out what they were up to."

"Analyzing." The AI falls silent, and Shepard stares at the strange brown, insect-like humanoid. It's partially dissected, abnormal purple organs exposed to the air.

"Shepard," EDI sounds almost excited, "the collectors were running baseline genetic comparisons between their species and humanity. The results reveal something remarkable. Their genetic structure is identical to traces collected from ancient ruins. Only one race is known to have this structure: the protheans."

Shepard looks up at Garrus, his face mirroring her shock. "My god," she says. "The protheans didn't vanish. They're just working for the reapers now."

She gazes at the corpse again. Strange, she'd always imagined the protheans as... different, regal. Stupid ideas formed from growing up reading about space travel, watching sci fi vids. And the reality lies in front of her; the mutilated corpse of a species long considered extinct.

"These are no longer strictly protheans." EDI disagrees. "Their genes show signs of a major genetic re-write. The reapers have repurposed them to suit their needs. Fewer chromosomes, eliminations of superfluous 'junk' sequences."

"Are you getting this? I need Mordin to examine the data. Damn it, why didn't I bring him?" Shepard hears Thane clear his throat, but she has no interest in personal feelings right now. This news is huge - it might even help them to understand what the reapers are planning.

"No species should have to suffer through that," Garrus murmurs, bringing her back to herself.

"We've still not found what we need. We have to understand the Omega 4 relay. Let's move out." Shepard motions towards the dark corridor. Her two shadows fall in behind her.

The dank corridor twists and turns, drawing them deeper into the heart of the ship. There's a low pulse in the air now, as if the ship is alive, as if they are close to its beating heart.

There's light ahead and Shepard approaches with caution, slowing her step and peering around the corner into a room the size of the mess hall.

"Look on the ceiling," Garrus' voice rumbles through the intercom. "More of those strange pods."

"There must be hundreds. How many are full?" Thane asks.

"I detect no life signs. It is probable the victims died when the ship lost power." EDI answers.

Shepard tries not to think about Horizon, about the frozen victims, the uncollected pods scattered around the colony. All those lives, hundreds of people lost and for what? What are the collectors, the protheans, doing with these people? Was it her fault, like the Illusive Man said? Because _she'd_ killed a reaper, humanity was targeted?

"Commander," Joker's voice interrupts her thoughts. "You gotta hear this. On a hunch I asked EDI to run an analysis on this ship."

"I compared the EM profiles recorded by the original Normandy. They are an exact match." EDI sounds pleased with herself.

"The same ship, dogging me for two years? _Way_ beyond coincidence." Shepard looks up at the pods again.

This ship, _this_ is the one that killed her. She'd faced thresher maws, armies of geth, Saren, Sovereign, with little more than a broken arm. She'd almost believed her own legend, until in the space of a few minutes, this ship had taken it all away from her. She clenches her jaw and holds her assault rifle tighter.

They move onwards, the corridor widening with other, smaller branches joining up. As she passes through an arch, she looks up and freezes. The room is one of the biggest she's ever been in. Far wider than the Citadel's presidium, the curved ceiling is covered with pods hanging from every inch of space. The dark, chitinous shells cover the walls, curving down to the floor, where the pods carpet all the way up to the edge of the pathway.

"They could take every human in the terminus systems and not have enough to fill these pods." Thane says.

Then Garrus says what she's thinking. Says it out loud for all of the crew to hear over the intercom. "They're going to target Earth."

"Not if we stop them." She growls, picking up her pace to a light trot. The room seems vast, never ending and she allows her fury to drive her on faster and faster until Garrus shouts out.

"There, on that platform!" Garrus points with his rifle. "Looks like some kind of control panel."

"Has anyone else wondered why we haven't seen any collectors? Living _or _dead?" Thane murmurs as they hurry towards the terminal.

She ignores the drell, but she understands his words. This feels wrong; everything about it, from the ship itself to the lack of collectors and the ease of their progress, screams _trap_. She knows the Illusive Man can't be trusted, but she has to keep moving onwards.

EDI is working on patching through to the collectors' computers when the ship shakes, the faint ambient light flickering on and off. There's movement on the platform, the pipes are shifting, data is flowing between the organic conduits.

"Everyone all right here?" Shepard barks, looking at her two men, who both nod. "What just happened, Joker?"

"Shepard, this was not a malfunction, this was a trap." EDI's warning coincides with Garrus' shout. "Incoming!"

The platform they are standing on shifts, spinning upwards through the air. Shepard grabs onto a ridge to support herself, but Thane slips, his leather armour sliding along the slick material. Garrus catches the assassin, holding him in place with one hand, the talons in his other hand dug into the platform to hold them steady.

The platform lands with a thud and Garrus pulls Thane to his feet. In moments both of them have their rifles in their hands, standing semi-crouched as they scan the battlefield.

The next few minutes are a blur, wave after wave of collectors assaulting their position. Heat sinks fly as both men snipe at their enemies, Shepard cleaning up any stragglers with her assault rifle. Again and again, the aliens are possessed by Harbinger, rising into the air, shimmering as their forms are twisted into something else.

Thane calls that his shields are down, and Shepard's are registering at 14% when EDI's smooth voice calls out. "I have regained control. I have found data that could help us successfully navigate the Omega 4 relay. I have also found the turian distress call that served as a lure for this trap. There is no way the Illusive Man could not know it was fake."

"He knew it was a trap? Why would he send us into a trap?" Joker sounds confused and angry.

"We don't have time to throw blame. We'll question him when we get out." Shepard calls up the plans of the area on her omni-tool. EDI has plotted a path back to the shuttle.

"Cerberus is not known for keeping faith," Thane mutters under his breath.

Shepard ignores him, focussing on the route out of the area. She picks her way along the ridged flooring, checking for ambushes ahead.

"Uh commander? The ship is powering up. Get out before their weapons come online, I'm not losing another Normandy." Joker sounds harried.

They jog along the narrow corridors, following the twists and turns towards the shuttle. More and more collectors fly in from around the ship, controlled by the harbinger.

There's a moment when Thane is lying wounded and her shields are about to give out when she feels a rush of fear and adrenaline. It powers her towards the husks, her shotgun blasting a path through the crush of their deformed bodies. Twisted hands claw at her suit, scraping along her visor as their mouths hang open in a gaping rictus.

She's reduced to punching them with the stock of the gun as Garrus' picks them off, a headshot at a time. Her shields long gone, only her armour protects her from their attacks. She's trying not to think of the dragons teeth, that these abominations were once humans, possibly friends of Kaidan's from Horizon. Their mindless attacks help her to remain dispassionate, her recoil-bruised shoulder screaming as she slams the shotgun into their faces.

"Clear commander," Garrus says.

She looks to help the drell, but Garrus has already pulled medi-gel from his suit, smearing it over the assassins exposed chest. Thin fluid seeps from a chest wound, and as Thane coughs, a fine spatter of blood coats his lips.

"We need to get him to the med bay." Shepard calls to the ship. "Joker, tell Chakwas to be ready. Thane's taken a bad hit."

"Hurry commander, they've almost got their weapons online." Joker warns.

Garrus has an arm around Thane's waist, half pulling the drell along beside him. Thane keeps a neutral expression, but Shepard notes that his free hand is holding his SMG. Ever the professional.

"Down here, this is where we came in," Garrus points to a dip in the wall, allowing them to slither down the soft, damp partition towards their shuttle.

Shepard takes the rear, laying down a blanket of fire, popping heat sink after heat sink to keep the collectors back as Garrus hauls the drell into the Kodiak. Throwing a final grenade, she dives into the shuttle, hitting the close button hard. Garrus lifts off the second the door starts to move, the manoeuvre slamming Shepard into the wall. Grunting, she drags herself to a seat, pulling a belt over her shoulder to keep her in place as Garrus pilots the shuttle back to the Normandy as fast as possible.

Thane's bleeding has slowed, but the drell is pale, his twin eyelids blinking at her as she twists in her seat to examine the wound.

"I'll be fine Siha… Shepard. One more memory for the darkest hours of the night."

"Call coming in from the Illusive Man, commander," Joker's voice crackles over the shuttle's speakers. "Figure you've got a few words for him too."

Shepard looks at the drell's blood on her gloves, the fury building inside her. "I'll be there in a minute Joker. He can wait while I take Thane to the infirmary. But don't let him disconnect; I've got a lot to talk about."

#

Garrus is surprised when Shepard calls them all to the comm. room. On the old Normandy, a full debriefing was the norm, the mission team gathered together to discuss what had been learned, what to do next.

But the new Normandy is different, a combination of Cerberus human-first fanatics and strong willed aliens might not mix well, so Garrus hasn't questioned the lack of feedback sessions. Why change that now?

He stayed with Thane while Shepard went to the comm. room to talk to the Illusive Man. He kept the assassin talking as Chakwas treated the wound. The doctor gave the drell an anaesthetic that caused him to fade in and out of sleep, so when the call came for them to assemble in the comm. room, Garrus had no qualms about leaving him to rest.

Shepard's standing at the table, outwardly calm, but Garrus can see the tell-tale signs of her anger; the line between her brows, the white knuckles where she's gripping the table, even the way she can't stand still, instead shifting her weight from one foot to the other.

After the last crew member files in, she explains in a clear, ringing voice how the Illusive Man knew that their last mission was a trap, but sent them in anyway as the need for data on the collectors is vital.

Garrus looks to Miranda and Jacob. Both are in Cerberus uniforms, both loyal followers of the Illusive Man. Miranda's face is blank, but Garrus spots her hands, fingers twisting together as she tries to control her feelings. He's not experienced enough to understand how she's taking the news, but it seems to be better than Jacob.

"So the Illusive Man didn't sell us out? Could've fooled me." The man paces along the side of the room, his fists clenched.

Dissention in the Cerberus ranks. Good; Garrus makes a note to build on it. Jacob's ex-alliance anyway, he knows Shepard would hope to bring him back.

Mordin shakes his head, one thin finger tapping against his chin. "Lied to us, yes. Used us. Needed access to collector data banks. Necessary risk."

Garrus notes Shepard's surprise. He hadn't expected Mordin to take the news so well either, but as he thinks of the reams of data acquired, he understands the scientist's point of view, even if he doesn't agree with it.

Murmurs break out, Garrus catching the odd word from the crowd – 'betrayed', 'tactical decision', and 'suicide'.

Shepard speaks again, her strong voice cutting through the chatter. "There wasn't any other choice. Not if we want to stop them." She circles the room, letting her eyes rest on everyone for a moment. "Let's hope it works. EDI, show us what we recovered today."

EDI displays a map of the system, showing the path through the Omega 4 relay. There's a few gasps and everyone starts talking at once.

"That can't be right." Miranda's strong accent is clearly audible over the din.

"My calculations are correct," EDI sounds a touch annoyed. "That's why we will need a collector IFF, to navigate the mass relay."

"But, that's the core. It's a mess of black holes and exploding suns." Jacob leans closer to the display hovering over the meeting room table.

"Artificial construction," Mordin nods to himself, his slender fingers tapping on his omni-tool as always.

"The collectors don't have that kind of technology." Miranda argues.

"But the reapers do." Shepard states. The chatter dies down as her crew look to her. Garrus notes that she's never looked more magnificent. Her anger at the Illusive Man has given a pink tinge to her cheeks; her eyes are burning with passion as she leans across the wide table, arms braced. She looks around the room, holding everyone's gaze again. "We're not ready yet. We need to build up our team, get everything squared away before we take that kind of risk."

She looks to Garrus last, her expression unchanging as he nods. Everyone in the room files away, leaving them facing each other across the table.

"Come to my room," she asks, her expression still blank.

"Of course commander." He sees her wince at his use of her title and he mentally kicks himself. Moving to her side, he takes a hold of her elbow as they walk. Her armour is filthy, covered in collector gore and Thane's blood. They're both silent as they wait for the elevator. Even Yeoman Kelly has enough sense to leave them alone today.

As the elevator deposits them outside her room, she pauses at the doorway. "Can you wait in the bedroom for five minutes, I just want to get all this crap off me."

"Of course Shepard, I'll clean your armour." He watches her unclasping it, noting where the clasps are and how to undo them.

She's shivering in her N7 underwear, but she shakes her head as she enters the bathroom. "I'll do it later. Relax. I'll just have a quick shower."

"Take your time, I'll be here when you get back," he rumbles, gathering up her armour. He ignores her order to leave it, enjoying the mindless repetition of polishing and cleaning. He's never had a reason to hold her armour before, and he examines each piece as he wipes it; the shape of the chest piece, the thigh plates, her five fingered gloves - every piece is a different shape to its turian counterpart, her boots being the strangest. Her longstanding habit of walking around barefoot has let him get used to human feet, but really, the huge flat pad, the backwards joints and five toes… He wonders how strong her legs are; surely her bizarre joints alone make them weaker?

He's cleaned and stowed her armour, fed her fish, and is letting the hamster run around his shoulders when she exits the bathroom. She's wearing a giant, fluffy, white-coat thing that's tied around her waist, and he's pretty sure there's nothing else underneath. She smells divine, her warm skin giving off a natural musk that's usually concealed by the perfume in her hair. The bits of exposed skin are a pinker shade than usual, warmed from the hot water.

But he can see from her expression that this isn't the 'tomorrow' she promised him before. She's still got the worry line between her brows, her hands are still clenched into fists.

He walks towards her, her eyes fixed on him as he passes her to place the hamster back in his cage. Swivelling slightly, he reaches out, hands sliding around her waist.

"Not now Garrus." She's stiff, tense, and she pulls back, shaking her head. "I'm too angry."

"Tell me then," he tucks his hand under her elbow once more and pulls her beside him towards the couch. At the last second, she veers towards the bed and flops backwards onto it with a snarl. She glares up at the ceiling, her body rigid. He edges onto the bed, lying down on his side to face her. This time she doesn't move closer to him, staying where she is, her eyes unfocussed.

"That _son of a bitch_ sent us _right_ into collector hands!" She shouts at the ceiling. Garrus focuses on her hair, on how it looks different when it's wet. Clumped together into thick strings, there are knots and tangles running through it. He's tempted to touch it, to see if it still feels silky, but he's pretty sure that she'll only get more annoyed.

"And here I thought I had my quota of betrayal and attempted murder for the year." He murmurs, but she doesn't smile or even acknowledge him.

"The Illusive Man keeps lying to me. He lied about Horizon, he lied about this ship," she turns her head to look at him, her eyes narrowed. "Hell, I bet he even lied about you too. He knew who Archangel was. Probably wanted me to find you, some psyche _bullshit_ about having a friend with me."

"Doesn't matter, Shepard," Garrus rumbles. "He might keep lying to you, but you've not let it stop you, not let him defeat you. You saved half the colony at Horizon; you got what we needed from the ship. And you saved my life."

She relaxes a little at that, some of the fight draining out of her body. He watches as she sags back against the mattress, her clenched fingers relaxing. "What if next time I get someone killed? Or we fail the mission? How can we hope to win if I can't even trust our basic intel?"

"We'll figure it out Shepard, we always do," he says.

She turns her head, her hair spreading on the pillow. A small smile creeps across her face and she shuffles closer to him on the bed. The fluffy white coat is loose, gaping open to show her bare chest and legs, but Garrus tucks her head against his torso, resting his chin on the top of her head. Her flesh is cool against him, even through his clothing, but she seems to enjoy his touch, her body relaxing against his own. He strokes her back, feeling how sluggish her heartbeat is compared to his own.

They lie in silence, her arm draped around his waist, his hand tracing circles on her back. Her breathing slows, her eyes drift closed as she falls asleep. He feels the remaining tension seep out of her body as she settles against him with a contented sigh.

He holds her like this for hours, not needing to rest himself, just taking pleasure in her presence.


	16. Chapter 16 The Gift of Greatness

**The Gift of Greatness**

She's still asleep when he wakes, her limbs are entwined with his, and her fluffy white coat has fallen open where she's pushed her naked body against his warmth. He can feel her breasts pressed around his arm and he resists the urge to look. It's not her choice, it would be dishonourable.

Human males have always seem intrigued by breasts though. He remembers when Shepard took him and Alenko to Chora's Den, a long time ago now. Alenko spent most of the visit gaping at the asari dancers, his eyes following their every movement. Any time Shepard was occupied dealing with some problem or another, Alenko was ogling the semi-naked women. Garrus had asked him what was so exciting, and the human just replied 'nice view' in a husky voice.

Garrus doesn't really understand them, and he'd prefer for Shepard to teach him herself, the way she did kissing. He edges away from her carefully, pulling a blanket up to cover her without waking her. She sighs and rolls onto her back, her face still relaxed and contented.

Taking a minute to memorise how she looks, how she smells, he tucks the blankets tight around her before exiting the room.

The elevator is empty, everyone is asleep and he thinks he's made it back unseen when EDI pops up at a terminal in the mess hall. "Good _morning_ Officer Vakarian. Or is it still night? How is Commander Shepard?"

"Commander Shepard is pissed off; she said that she wants me to rip the damned AI out of this ship before she wakes up." He growls.

The blue sphere shimmers as EDI processes his comment. "You know that I do not possess a sense of humour, Officer Vakarian?"

"Neither do I," Garrus grunts, and he closes the main battery doors behind him, the blue light flickering uncertainly on his back.

#

Blue skies, sunshine, palm trees and glorious beaches. It looks like paradise. Then again, so did Virmire.

Another of Shepard's team is needing closure on a personal issue; something that the crew are discussing more and more since the collector ship mission. They think she hasn't noticed, but she's seen the huddles, heard the fearful whispers.

No-one has made it through the Omega 4 relay before, and it's not like she's the indomitable Commander Shepard any more. On the old Normandy they felt invulnerable, elite. Not any more. Everyone on this ship knows the truth - she's died once before, she's mortal. It's not like anyone's going to spend billions of credits to bring back the crewman who cleans the toilets.

So she's been focusing on those who will have her back, talking to them, prising out their worries and fears, trying to help them to come to terms with their lives. This mission is a result of Jacob's lack of a relationship with his father. Missing for over ten years, though they'd not spoken for years before that, Jacob receives news of a distress call via an unknown source. Confused, he went looking for his commander; and she's brought them here, to this spaceship that has crashed on paradise.

The huge ship blocks the sunlight, an enormous metal slab sitting at the edge of the beach. There's massive structural damage all over the vessel and it's a wonder anyone survived. 'MSV Hugo Gernsback' is still discernable in fifty foot white lettering on the side.

"I've scanned the ship, there are no life signs, commander." EDI informs them.

"It's mostly intact. They could have survived the impact... but it's been years." Jacob sounds half hopeful, half realistic as he surveys the damage, his omni-tool flashing. "Looks like it was stripped after the crash. They'd have tried to get a beacon up as quickly as possible."

Shepard lets Jacob lead the way, sticking close to Garrus' side as they follow the human down the beach. Garrus is silent, watching everything with his hawk-like vision. She catches him glancing at her every so often, but he's just checking on his team, his attention focused on the mission.

A glowing figure flickers in the bright light - the automated distress beacon. '_Toxicology alert: danger of rapid neural decay. Local flora chemically incompatible with human physiology._'

The message is on a loop, explaining that the distress beacon was delayed for almost nine years, but the reason has been wiped from its memory.

Shepard can see that Jacob is anxious, and she lets him take things at his own pace as he explores the wreckage of the long abandoned ship. There are numerous personal logs scattered around; they explain the mental breakdown of the crew, how people lose their minds after eating the local fruit. One of the logs has a disturbing edge to it, a male crewman making the most of the mental breakdown of the female crew to force himself on a woman who had long spurned him.

But the real surprise is finding out that Jacob's father was promoted to captain when the previous captain died during the crash. This, all of this, is his responsibility.

As they exit the ship, she watches Jacob as he processes everything he's found out. Emotions ripple across his face - anger, surprise, worry - as he tries to understand.

"My father had a working beacon but didn't signal for nine years... Maybe that neural decay affected him too?"

Garrus rumbles a reply. "It must have."

She's surprised; it's the first time she's heard Garrus choose to speak to Jacob. Maybe Garrus is better at reading human emotions than she realised and he can see how close to the edge Jacob is.

An addled woman appears, babbling about 'the leader' saying people would come from the sky. As Jacob tries to calm her, a gang of feral looking men charge towards them. They seem mindlessly violent, running towards the landing team and Shepard calls for them to be taken down. The confused woman screams about hunters and tries to scrabble away. The feral men are easily taken down; they have little concept of cover and charge blindly into the line of fire.

Jacob follows the trail the woman leaves, which eventually leads towards a tattered campsite. More people mill around, mouths hanging open, hands loose at their sides. They're all women, and Garrus speculates that the men have become violent, like the ones on the beach.

When the women see Jacob, they cry out, backing away from him. "You have his face!" They scream. "He promised to call the sky, but he sends nothing."

Jacob clenches his jaw, but keeps quiet as they explore further. There's a strange statue built in the centre of the settlement, horrific in its height and meaning. Jacob looks distressed once more, murmuring that his father has been destroying these women's lives.

Security mechs attack them for trying to pass beyond a certain point, and for bearing weapons, and as the mechs are shot down, a tall woman hiding on the edge of the clearing calls out to Shepard.

Garrus puts his hand on Jacob's chest, holding him back, allowing Shepard to approach the woman alone.

She seems more coherent than the others and she explains how Jacob's father forced the women to eat the plants, keeping the ship supplies for himself. She becomes agitated when she tells how the women were divided up like cattle between the male officers. She has a datapad full of proof, but can no longer read.

Shepard feels her rage building as she reads how Jacob's father, Ronald Taylor, deliberately fed the women the local fruit to make them docile. How he slowly killed or exiled the other men, keeping the women as his pets.

She looks down at her gun, taking a deep breath. Her head is throbbing and she knows that she needs to control her temper. These women won't understand, they're shadows of what they once were, mere children being abused by an evil man.

As they pass more mech, Garrus points out the posed corpses, intended to keep the hunters - the exiled men - scared of attacking.

As they approach a tall, older black man in the distance, Shepard signals for Garrus to hang back and watch her six. He nods, moving out of hearing range and keeping his rifle to hand. She pats his shoulder once and then follows Jacob towards his father.

Jacob's father looks relieved to be rescued; his own supplies are running low and he dreads losing his mind. He blames the crew's degeneration on themselves, claims that he's been trapped here against his will, that the women worshipped him.

But when Shepard introduces Jacob to his father, everything changes.

His body sags, his shoulders curling in as he hides his face with his hands. He tries to cover himself, saying that it was all an accident, that it wasn't his fault. He was trying to keep the women in comfort, that ignorance is bliss. Then he got used to the 'perks' and that dominance was 'only needed to control the women', to 'keep the other men from rebelling against his rule'.

Shepard asks Ronald if he ever wondered about Jacob, left for ten years with no information about his father. She watches Jacob's expression as his father uses excuse after excuse, saying he was better off without him, that he knew his son didn't need him.

"He's not worth the fuel to haul him out, or the air he's breathing." Jacob draws his pistol and aims it at his father. He holds the pose for a couple of breaths before lowering the weapon. "He's damned lucky I don't even think he's worth pulling the trigger. I don't know who you are because you're not any father I remember."

"We'll secure him for an alliance court." Shepard says, placing a hand on Jacob's shoulder. "The women could have a chance of recovering from this ordeal with care."

"I'm sorry Jacob, I did the best I could." Ronald Taylor says.

Jacob is already heading back to the shuttle, and he answers without stopping. "I'm ten years past believing that."

#

Shepard heads to the armoury to speak to Jacob. While he'd always said his father wasn't close, she can't imagine how he's feeling now.

She finds him hunched over his workbench, shoulders slumped as he stares into space; a far cry from his usual brash confidence.

"Jacob, how are you doing?" She asks, leaning against the opposite workbench.

"Commander," he swivels to face her, his eyes still downcast. "It's good to get it behind me. I appreciate your help."

"And how do you feel now you know that it was Miranda who forwarded the message?" She watches his face, remembering the Illusive Man's surprise and denial, before Miranda came forward to admit that she had found the distress call and sent it on to Jacob herself.

Shepard had watched their interactions with interest; they'd always been cool and professional to each other, and it was the first time she'd seen Miranda look at Jacob with kindness. She'd got a hint of a deeper history than either of them were likely to admit to.

Jacob looks up at her question, his lips moving silently for a moment before he says. "She requires a better man than I."

Shepard waits for a moment, then nods once and pushes herself off the workbench. Jacob holds up a hand as she moves and takes a step closer.

"I… Thank you commander. I appreciate your checking up on me," he smiles, before giving her that look, the one that reminds her of Kaidan. "This isn't an alliance ship. No regs on fraternisation. We've got a good thing going on between us Shepard, do you think...?"

She blinks and steps back, shaking her head. He just said that he's not good enough for Miranda, obviously hung up on her, and now he asks _this_? She tries not to look as annoyed as she feels. "I don't think that's a good idea, Jacob. Let's focus on the mission."

"It's that damned cuttlebone, isn't it?" Jacob's face crumples into a frown. "I'd heard the rumours going around the ship, but I'd never have guessed they were real."

"What the hell did you just say to me soldier?" Shepard pokes a finger into Jacob's chest just as the doors open and Miranda stalks into the room, her new black uniform gleaming in the soft light.

"Commander, I was looking for you." Her eyes cut from Shepard to Jacob.

"Oh good," Shepard pastes a fake smile on her face, still angry. "How can I help?"

"EDI reports that the safety monitors are disabled in certain areas of the ship. The main battery and… ah, your quarters."

"EDI knows full well why I ordered that those areas no longer be monitored," Shepard folds her arms, leaning back on the wall. "Next question."

Miranda frowns, "I'm afraid EDI neglected to tell me _why_."

"I can tell you why," Jacob paces the deck in front of her, his brows drawn together. "The main battery, her _bed_? Our commander is an alien lover. Those rumours I told you about? Appears they're all true."

Miranda looks from Jacob to Shepard, her expression unchanging. "That explains a lot." Miranda shifts her weight to her back foot and places her hands on her hips. "You treat Garrus as more of an XO than you do me."

"I _trust_ Garrus a hell of a lot more than I trust you. _Either_ of you. He's earned that trust time and again. But whatever my feelings are about Cerberus, I _do_ treat you as my XO," she tells Miranda, before turning to face Jacob. "And I treat _you_ as a member of my crew. I don't play favourites, and I do _not_ allow my personal life to have any effect on the mission." Her traitorous mind flicks back to Virmire and Ashley, but she ignores it, using her anger to keep her expression fixed.

Jacob looks like he's about to argue, then he snaps his mouth closed and drops his gaze.

Miranda is more controlled, her foot tapping out her true feelings as she thinks out loud. "I might not like it, but I have to agree. You've rotated your mission teams and you've kept me informed of all operational decisions." She glances at the floor and sighs. "The Illusive Man isn't going to be pleased about it though. He had hopes for you and…" She glances at Jacob and then switches her cool stare back to Shepard. "The irony of our commander and a turian isn't going to be lost on him. A great many Cerberus followers are still bitter about the first contact war."

Shepard shrugs, controlling her urge to tell Miranda exactly what she thinks of their 'Cerberus followers'. "You knew who I was when you brought me back. I was well known for having a part alien crew. I was also known for fighting Cerberus, for not agreeing with the humanity first movement. I've not changed who _I _am. I care about my crew, human or alien, and I want everyone on-side before the Omega mission. For _all_ our sakes." She faces Jacob, placing a hand on his forearm. "Are we good, Jacob?"

"Yeah commander," Jacob shrugs one shoulder. "I don't understand your choice, but I can live with it. Especially after today."

Shepard turns to face Miranda, whose ice-queen mask is firmly in place. "Miranda?"

"Shepard, I'm going to have to inform the Illusive Man about this." Miranda looks away for a moment, then looks back with a small smile. "But I'll be sure to tell him that it has no operational impact."

Shepard can't help returning the smile. "Thank you both."

#

Garrus is thinking about his family when he hears her bare feet padding across the floor outside the battery. He faces the doors, unable to help smiling as they slide open. She stands in the entrance way, one hand on the frame, the other on her hip. A wicked smile is on her face. "Come to my room."

He hesitates. "I thought we didn't want to disrupt the crew?"

"Just to talk, _Officer_ Vakarian." She moves closer, slipping an arm around his waist, holding on to the soft fabric at his back. "It's not like most of the crew don't suspect something anyway. Might as well take advantage of the rumours."

"I'll be right behind you." He promises.

He follows her out in silence, walking past the crew that are eating dinner. Most of them look up and smile, but he's sure there's a couple of knowing glances, and he looks down at the floor until he reaches the elevator. As the doors shut, he asks, "will they…?"

"Let them think what they want." She shrugs, her hand stroking along his forearm. "According to most of the crew, we've been sleeping together for ages, anyway."

He almost corrects her, reminds her that they _have_ slept together, after Horizon, and for most of last night. But he knows that's not what she means, and now he can't help but remember how she feels against him, soft, delicate and yet so right.

She brings him back to himself by pulling on his arm as the elevator door opens, walking backwards with a smile as she drags him to her bedroom.

"Ah, Shepard…" He pulls his arm back as she slides onto the bed.

"Just to _talk_, Garrus. But we can be comfortable, surely?" She holds out her hand again, and this time he allows her to pull him onto the bed.

She slides closer to him, her face next to his, her body close, but not quite touching. She strokes his scarred cheek, fingers tracing the plate.

"Must look ugly as hell to you," he mutters.

"Is that what you think about my scars?" She pulls her hand back to brush it against her cheek.

"No, of course not. You…you're strong and brave and _beautiful_." He feels a little stupid saying that word; of course she's nothing like turian ideals of beauty, but he knows how he feels. He slides his hand along her back, pressing her closer to him.

"Well, that's how you seem to me, too." Her hand traces down his cheek and along his throat as she speaks. "You're always there for me, you never judge me, and you have an _incredibly_ sexy voice."

He laughs, his mandibles fluttering. "My voice? That's all it took to win you over, huh?"

She nods, "well, that and your smoking hot ass." Her hand snakes down and squeezes it to emphasis her point.

"Shepard," he splutters as she laughs.

"I'm sorry, Garrus." Her laughter dies back. "I'm feeling a little… liberated? Cerberus knows about _us_ now."

Garrus tilts his head, thinking through the last mission. He can't think of anything he said or did that might have given them away. "How?"

"EDI told Miranda about you disabling the surveillance." He makes a face, but she continues on. "It's okay though. Jacob was, mmm jealous, perhaps? But Miranda is on our side. As much as we can expect from a humans-first believer, anyway."

"Am I allowed to do any major reconstructive surgery on that AI?" He rumbles. "I need to get my hands on her..."

"Garrus," she murmurs against his skin. "You need to get your hands on someone else right now."

"You said you wanted to talk…" he says, lifting one hand to hold her back.

She laughs as she licks along his throat, distracting him from what he is saying, moving from his jaw to kiss along his cheek, making soft noises of contentment as she licks and kisses.

He grabs hold of her shoulder as she pushes him back against her pillows. She leans on one elbow, her mouth above his face.

"Turian kiss, foreheads right?" She murmurs as she trails her lips across his forehead.

She's leaving warm, damp traces over his face, but it feels good. He purrs, deep in his chest, and he feels her lips curve into a smile.

He can feel how strong she is, in the way she supports herself on one arm as she slithers up his body, resting her chest on his shoulder as she kisses his forehead. Her skin is so soft, but the softness is a cover; underneath he can feel hard muscles, taut as she supports her weight. He turns his face, pressing closer so that he can breathe in her scent.

Then she licks along his fringe, and his body shakes, heat coiling in his stomach at the sensation. His blood rushes through his body as his plates shift and release. She slides her tongue slowly back down towards his forehead, murmuring his name. Without thinking, he flexes his hand, stroking it down her arm to pull her closer, wanting her to keep caressing him, for her to understand what she is doing to him.

But the sound of her yelp breaks him out of his haze, and he blinks, looking at her. She's pulled away from him, her left hand holding her right shoulder. He can see three long, deep gouges in her flesh from her shoulder to her elbow, rivulets of blood trickling down her arm.

"Shepard, I..." He sits up, staring at his hand, the tips of his talons a deep red.

"It's fine Garrus." She's already holding some medi-gel, rubbing it into her wounds, and he frowns, wondering why she'd keep it to hand in her bedroom. Did she know he'd hurt her? Was she concerned by his sharp teeth and hands?

"I... I need to finish my calibrations." He slides off the bed, slipping past her outstretched hand.

"Garrus, please, it's okay. It was an accident." she sits up on the bed, but he can see the red mixed in with the blue gel, dripping onto the sheets.

He shakes his head and exits the room, hitting the call button for the elevator and glaring at the blood on his talons, his breathing uneven. He's angry with himself for having so little self control that he let it get this far, that he let himself hurt her. He knew that this was a stupid idea from the start.


	17. Chapter 17 Sins of the Father

**Sins of the Father**

Shepard chooses to visit Thane first this morning, hoping that Garrus will work through his worries by himself. He can find her if he wants to talk, she's not worried.

The drell is happy to see her, sitting up in his bed in the med-bay, hands animated as he tells her of his son Kolyat. Thane has effectively abandoned his family because of his career, withdrawing into himself, leaving his son with his relatives after his wife died protecting him from the realities of his father's profession. But now he's heard a rumour that someone has hired his son as a hitman, and he wants to investigate.

He coughs, the movement wracking his body, but there's no blood on his lips as there was yesterday. Chakwas says the wound on his chest looks better, and the wheezing noise has cleared up from his breathing.

"If your armour actually _covered_ your chest, rather than showing it off, you might not have got hurt," Shepard smiles.

His twin eyelids blink slowly as he considers her words, and she remembers that he doesn't have Garrus' sense of humour. Thane brushes his hand over the dressing on his chest, pausing at the zip. "The doctor says I'm fine. And about Kolyat…"

"No she didn't." Chakwas calls from the next room. "The doctor most certainly said that you need bed rest."

Shepard hides a grin at the assassin's expression. "I'm happy to go to the Citadel, of course Thane. It's family, I understand. But I want to see how fit you are before I agree…"

"I will be fit, I will help my son," he says without inflection. "Thank you Shepard."

#

She hopes that calling Garrus for the mission means that he'll speak to her, but he remains quiet, eyes downcast as they dock at the Citadel. She wants to talk to him, but it's hard with the attentive drell tagging along.

Thane is looking better, sticking closely to her left side as they head to see Captain Bailey at C-Sec. The grizzled man laughs, rubbing his stubble as he squints at her. "Look for a street kid, called Mouse."

Thane shifts his weight, but stays silent. Shepard waits a beat, before asking. "Mouse? Know where he's located?"

"Yeah, outside the Dark Star." The officer grins. "Selling illegal VI personalities. Actually, he was selling one of you."

Shepard blinks in surprise. "Me?"

Bailey grins up at her, leaning back in his chair. "Yeah, when you erased a file, it would say, 'I deleted data like you on the way to _real_ errors.'"

She's about to reply when she hears a soft snort from her right; she looks at Garrus. He's shaking a little as he chuckles to himself, his mandibles flared. "That's pretty extreme, commander."

She grins back at him, "laugh it up, Garrus."

Somehow the exchange breaks the ice, and even though they don't speak again on the way to the Dark Star, she can feel that the tension has drained away. Garrus is closer to her side, and he doesn't flinch away if she catches his eye.

Finding the young street kid, Shepard is surprised when Thane reveals a history with the boy. She's moved when she hears how, while he did use the boy for information, Thane cared for Mouse, kept him fed and looked after.

Mouse helps; he's spoken to Kolyat, whose target is a local anti-human politician. The man who ordered the hit is a local criminal, Elias Kelham. Shepard walks away slowly, letting Thane speak to Mouse alone before they head back to C-Sec. She notes that the drell touches his chest wound once or twice, and she resolves to send him back to med-bay as soon as they're on the Normandy.

As they head down the stairs, a news report reveals that Sidonis has turned himself in to C-Sec, confessing to the murders of Garrus' team. Garrus doesn't break stride, but Shepard sees his mandibles draw closer. She reaches out with her right hand and places it on his arm. Garrus doesn't look at her, but he covers her glove with his own, his mandibles held tight to his cheeks.

Bailey helps them to get the info they need, interrogating Kelham who reveals that the hit is about to go down.

Shepard and Garrus race through the Citadel along the catwalks above the station; Thane has disappeared into the crowd below. Shepard shadows the anti-human politician Jarum as he strolls into a nightclub. She sees Thane spot his son tailing the politician and move in closer, silently stalking the boy like a predator.

They make their way down to the ground, to see Thane interrupt his son from making his move. Thane talks to his son explaining his career choices, how he regrets his life and does not wish it for his son. Shepard stands back with Garrus, almost out of hearing range, pointedly leaving Thane to talk his son down. She edges closer to Garrus, leaning her shoulder against his side. He rumbles in his chest, but doesn't move away from her.

Jarum has scurried away, giving Thane time to talk to his son. Shepard watches the drell as he pleads and argues, wondering about the immense responsibility of having a child. It's not something she's ever wanted – she's happily married to her career as a soldier - so it's not something she'd ever thought of in terms of her relationship with Garrus. Not until this morning, when she overheard crewman Hawthorne, shouting at an ensign who'd made a joke about mutant human-turian babies.

Thane waves a hand to Garrus, who walks over, nodding to Kolyat. She hears him say C-Sec, then Bailey, and then he nods once more, shaking Kolyat's hand. The young drell blinks at Garrus, as solemn as his father. Garrus taps his omni-tool, and then speaks to Thane again.

A few minutes later, Captain Bailey appears, and Garrus introduces him to the family before excusing himself. He walks towards her, his mandibles close in an expression she can't read.

"Shepard," he looks away from her to Palaven, the turian district. "Can I have an hour? I need… something."

"Of course Garrus. One hour; I'll meet you back on the Normandy." She agrees.

He walks away without looking at her, his long stride carrying him though the doors. She sees all of the women standing around talking stop to watch him go past, some huddling together and whispering, the others with their mouths hanging open. She feels a flare of jealousy as the doors slide closed, locking her out of his world.

She realises then, that as much as she knows _Garrus_, she barely knows anything about turian society. Is he looking for someone of his own species, someone who won't break if he touches them? Is it like the asari, do they have consorts? She's pretty sure relationships are monogamous, but she's not entirely sure. Garrus has only ever spoken of his father, not his mother. Do turian couples even stay together?

She's still chewing her lip, watching the closed doors, when Thane returns to her side.

#

Garrus is still nervous about being with her, but she keeps shaking her head, telling him it's fine. After he turns down her third invite her brows draw together, the line appearing between them. "Come up to my room _now_, Vakarian."

He hesitates before nodding once. "Of course, commander."

She leads the way past the smirking crew in the mess hall without slowing.

"Turian for dinner again, commander?" A male voice calls, gaining a few snickers from his table.

She stops, a wide smile on her face. Garrus knows her too well to fall for that though and sees the anger in her eyes. "Of course boys. It's simply the _best_ thing on the menu." She winks and grabs his arm, walking away from the now silent room.

They don't speak in the elevator, and he wonders if he made the right choice to come. The commander is still buzzing with anger and marches ahead into her room, and he hurries to keep up.

She sits on the edge of the bed and pats it. He walks towards her, facing her, but she's frowning, and pats the space next to her more forcefully. He sits on the edge, as far from her as possible but she just slides along the mattress until her leg is pressed against his.

"Garrus, accidents happen. We're different, sure, but it doesn't matter. We can't let that stop us." She leans her head against his shoulder.

"Shepard, all of this. Saren, Sidonis… When I heard that news report today…" He sighs. "I've just seen so many things go wrong, Shepard. I want something to go right. Just once. Just..."

"Garrus," she says. "I promise it will be all right. Those scratches? I've had worse from arguing with Wrex about who was hotter."

He laughs, remembering those conversations down in the old cargo hold. "I think I voted for you, because I was more scared of you than him."

"Damn right, Vakarian." She nudges an elbow into his side. "So don't let a little scratch bother you."

"I don't want to hurt you, Shepard." He holds up his hand, about to explain, but she grabs it and kisses along his fingers.

"Sometimes a few scratches can be kind of nice. Sometimes I might ask you to play a little rough," she gives him a wicked grin between kisses.

He feels his blood start to rush again and he pulls his hand away from her lips, trying to hold on to his self-control. "No, I want to _show_ you something."

He grips her shoulder and flexes his hand, the talons sinking into her flesh, but not piercing it. He flexes a couple more times, his mandibles widening at her surprised expression.

"That's why I went to Palaven. It's something turian … ah, females get for fashion sometimes. They blunt your talons like a human… what's the word, manicure?"

He can't read her expression, her face crumpling the way it does when she's upset. She takes his hand, her fingers stroking along the talons, examining his two fingers and thumb. She's holding her breath as she does it, and he's afraid of the unshed tears that shimmer in her eyes.

"Shepard? I'm sorry, I thought…"

"Garrus," she interrupts, her eyes shining. "I don't deserve you. You wanted to do something for me, and I…" She sighs.

He rests his head against hers, closing his talons to hold her hand. "I never want to hurt you again." Then his mandibles twitch into a smile. "Well, unless you ask me to 'play rough'."

She laughs as he pulls her down onto the bed beside him, her body curling against his. He's surprised at how quickly she's learned his shape, how her hips can tuck against his, her legs tangling with his own.

"I'm glad you ordered me to be with you," he purrs, nuzzling her hair.

"I didn't exactly order you." She frowns, pulling away.

"I said it wrong, Shepard. I might not have wanted to come at first tonight…" He shakes his head, reaching for her. "I was scared, I admit it. But I want this. I want you." He presses his forehead against hers. "Inside this room, you're Shepard and I'm Garrus. Outside that door, you can order me all you want. In here - we're equals."

Her body is stiff against him for a few seconds before she grins and relaxes. "As long as I'm always on top, that's a deal, Vakarian."

He grins back, his mandibles brushing her cheek. "In your dreams, _commander_."

She relaxes into his arms with a snort of laughter, her hair pooling on the pillow around her head. He leans forward and uses his tongue to pull a few strands between his teeth. He watches her face as he nibbles gently. It tastes strange, not quite how he imagined, and she looks confused.

He pulls his head back, the now damp hairs falling limp from his lips. "I guess… That doesn't do to you what your touching my fringe does to me?"

She places a hand over her mouth as she giggles, a touchingly innocent sound from her. He grins back, feeling a little foolish. She stretches out a hand and frees one final hair that's caught on a tooth. "Sorry Garrus, I don't really get any feelings from my hair."

"Shame," he murmurs, stroking it with his hand. "I love to touch it."

"It's nice, knowing that you like it." She turns her head into his hand as he caresses it. "And I love knowing about your fringe."

He shivers as she runs her fingers softly along them, unable to stop his body from reacting. He shifts his hips backwards, but she moves with him, that wicked smile on her face again. She squeezes his fringe again softly, and he can't help himself as he digs his talons into her shoulders, growling her name.

"Stay with me tonight, Garrus," she whispers.

He can't answer, his blood is rushing so fast, heart pounding in his chest, and so he nods, pressing his hard lips to hers. He feels her tongue lick against his lips and he opens his mouth with a sigh.

Then he hears a 'blip' from her omni-tool; she ignores it, continuing to kiss him, but it beeps again.

He glances down at her wrist, but she doesn't look away from him, her hips pushing against his as her smile widens. "Why Officer, I really had no idea how... in proportion... you are."

"Shepard," he growls. "You're driving me..."

Her omni-tool beeps twice more and she swears. "Damn it Joker…" she leans back, her voice interestingly husky as she checks the screen. "Oh, it's Zaeed. And he says it's urgent."


	18. Chapter 18 The Price of Revenge

For BetaReject - she made me do it :)

* * *

**The Price of Revenge**

Garrus is only doing his duty. It's something Shepard does in downtime, something he knows they need to do to keep improving the ship. But hell, to tell the truth, he's really enjoying it.

"Fire another one EDI," he repeats.

The AI remains silent for a few seconds and he taps his talons on Shepard's console.

"Launching probe." EDI's soft voice sounds like a sigh. "The planet _is_ depleted Officer Vakarian."

Garrus snickers at the frustration in her voice. "Again."

He hears the elevator doors open and smells Shepard as she walks towards him. He turns to look; she's tense, he can tell by the way she's moving, the way her shoulders are squared, her fists clenched. But then EDI speaks again, her voice sullen.

"Probing Uranus..."

Shepard stops, her eyes widening before she bursts out laughing, bending over double to brace her hands on her knees as she roars.

"Really commander," EDI chides, her blue orb shimmering and disappearing.

"Garrus," Shepard manages to choke out between her howls. "How... why? God, that's funny. And childish." She wipes some tears off her cheek. "And funny."

Garrus grins, leaning against her console with his ankles crossed. "Jack heard about my... disagreement with the AI and suggested this. I really don't get the joke, but it's worth it to see you laughing like this."

She closes the distance between them, her torso still shaking.

"Thank you. Just what I needed." She places her hand over his on the console, then her grin widens and she lowers her voice. "Well, _almost_ what I needed. We could go back to my quarters, finish what we started..."

Chambers clears her throat and Shepard takes a step back. She'd obviously not noticed the young redhead and she flushes.

"What did Zaeed want that was so urgent?" Garrus changes the subject, calling Shepard's attention away from the Yeoman.

She frowns and crosses her arms, her good humour dissipating. "He's got intel on his mission, the one the Illusive Man said we'd help with. But he needs to go _now_, before his target moves, and I've got an urgent message from Donnelly telling me about this problem with the engines that we need to resolve right away. Miranda's sent me four messages about four different issues, each one using increasing amounts of sarcasm...."

"Let me go with Zaeed." Garrus offers.

"Ah... what? No, Garrus, it's okay." Shepard runs a hand through her hair. "I can do it, I just need to prioritise..."

"Let me do it for you," he repeats, leaning closer to her. "Delegate."

Her frown is broken by a small half laugh, half snort as she nudges him in the ribs, hard.

He holds up his hands in mock surrender. "No abusing the innocent, commander."

This brings a full smile to her face as she looks up at him. "There's no way I believe you're innocent, Vakarian."

Chambers clears her throat again but Garrus ignores her, leaning his face closer to Shepard. "You can use me any way you need me, Shepard."

There's a squeak from behind him and Shepard does her dirty laugh, the one that makes his fringe tremble.

He rethinks his last sentence, pausing as he ponders humans and their double meanings. "Uh, use me for missions, I mean."

"_Sure_ you did Garrus," she brushes her lips against his so fast, he's not sure if he imagined it. Her voice is low as she whispers. "You help Zaeed, I'll solve these problems and I'll meet you in my cabin _tonight_. Okay?"

She doesn't wait for a response; her swaying hips mesmerise him as she heads away, her face in profile with a smile curving the visible corner of her lips. Tonight. He remembers how it felt, her pressing against him as she caressed his fringe, her tongue licking down his...

"You're helping Zaeed?" Chambers asks from behind him, her voice tremulous. "He scares me a little."

Garrus turns to see the Yeoman close to him, shivering and gazing up at him with her eyes wide. Shepard has teased about Chambers having a crush on him, so he bends forward and grins, exposing his needle sharp teeth. He sees her shivering change, her expression falling as she eyes his mouth.

"Zaeed. Pfft, he's a pushover. You haven't seen a _real_ badass in action yet," he growls.

Her hand is against her heart and she's gasping a little as he walks away.

That should've solved _that_ problem, he thinks to himself as he takes the elevator down.

#

"Hell of a thing," Zaeed grumbles as Garrus steers the shuttle towards Zorya.

"What is?" Tali asks.

"That he," Garrus doesn't look around at the passenger section where the other two are seated, but he gets the impression he's being pointed at, "gets to fuck Shepard every night. Have you goddamn _seen_ her? Tits and arse like that, and she prefers to hump a dinosaur. What a waste."

"Bosh'tet!" Tali continues to rant, but Garrus doesn't understand any of the other quarian words.

He turns his head enough to catch the sly smile on the bounty hunter's face as the man watches Tali. Garrus has worked with people like Zaeed before. He's deliberately pushing, seeing if he can rile them.

"What can I say?" Garrus rumbles back. "It takes a lot to keep a woman like Shepard happy. I guess you humans don't have what it takes."

Tali continues muttering, her faceplate now turned in his direction, but Zaeed laughs, slapping his shoulder. "You're all right, Vakarian."

Garrus pilots the shuttle over the dense jungle, the sunshine blinding in the clear blue sky. In the distance there's a dilapidated refinery pumping thick black smoke into the air.

"That's it," Zaeed points. "That's where Vido's holed up. Land this crate."

"Almost there." Garrus hovers above a clearing and hits the automated landing sequence. He moves out of the cockpit, fitting his sniper rifle to his back and cradling his assault rifle.

"Tali?" The quarian is bent over her omni-tool.

"Ready; just preparing a little something if anyone comes across the shuttle." Tali straightens up and moves to the door just as the shuttle settles against the ground.

As soon as the doors open, Zaeed jumps out, keeping low as he scans the area. Garrus follows him, checking his map of the area, and gesturing for Tali to take the rear.

"I've tapped into the Blue Suns comms. Stay tight and look for ambushes." Zaeed says as he takes point.

Garrus considers reminding him who is leading the mission, but he's well versed in the stories about Zaeed Massani, bounty hunter, and knows that he'd just be marking territory unnecessarily. The guy is a legend; he can handle a little action rescuing some refinery workers.

They move through the jungle silently, picking their way past thick vines, and trees as tall as the Normandy. Grey striped pyjaks leap through the trees, huge round eyes watching them pass.

Their radios crackle. _"Bravo squad. A shuttle landed near your location. Check it out."_

"Here we go. Keep close." Zaeed nods to Garrus, then edges round a corner.

Everything happens at once. Missiles fly across the sky, bullets whiz past his face, and Tali sounds like she's swearing worse than Zaeed. It's Garrus' favourite kind of battle; messy, uneven odds, and lots of bad guys to take down.

He enjoys fighting beside Zaeed. The older man is capable and fearless. He reminds Garrus of the commander in some ways, the inner strength, the unblinking calm in the heat of the battle.

The Blue Sun's dispatcher sounds distressed, warning that the intruders have made it past the southern checkpoint. Zaeed keeps forging ahead, with a determination that surprises Garrus.

He doesn't _mind_ the determination, but he gets the feeling that there's more to this mission than just freeing the factory workers from the Blue Suns.

Garrus is crouched down, hacking the controls to an automated bridge, as the radio crackles again.

_"This is Commander Santiago. If any of you retreat while the intruders are still alive, I'll kill you myself. Now get the hell back out there."_

Zaeed drops his rifle butt to the floor and leans on the weapon. "Sounds like he hasn't changed."

"You know him?" Garrus glances up at Zaeed's discoloured eye.

The bounty hunter's face is twisted into a half smile and he nods. "He was a sadistic little bastard back when we started the Blue Suns."

Garrus huffs, surprised. He glances back up at the man as he continues to speak, the Blue Suns tattoo on his throat making a lot more sense now.

"The Suns only got meaner after he staged his little coup, twenty years ago. So yeah, we have a past." Zaeed lifts his rifle again, stroking the weapon.

"Of all the stories about you, I never heard that you founded the Blue Suns." Garrus slaps the bridge controls closed, standing as the bridge motor begins to whirr.

Zaeed explains about the past, but Garrus is only half listening. Back in the day, well before his time, the Blue Suns had been a 'good' merc unit. Stories said you could hire them for jobs no-one else could do. Then something changed, and they began selling a different kind of service, to a different kind of client.

Garrus had actually had the original Suns in mind when he'd gone to Omega to set up his team. Good men killing off bad guys. Taking from the rich to help the poor and needy. And now he finds out that his companion is the man he idolised.

"...he paid _six_ of them to restrain me while he put a gun to my head and pulled the trigger. For twenty years I've seen that bastard every time I closed my eyes. Every time I sighted down on a target. Every time I heard a gunshot."

Tali sounds surprised as she gasps. "You survived a gunshot to the head?"

Zaeed strokes his hand along the scar encircling his face. "Yeah, I took a bullet. Shepard got spaced. Loverboy here took a fucking missile to that goddamned wreck he calls a face. Stubborn bastards like us can survive just about anything."

Zaeed marches across the bridge, his rifle once more snug against his shoulder. Garrus fingers his own cybernetic cheekplate, watching the man who is more like a twin than he'd ever realised.

Garrus thinks of Sidonis, how he'd almost been eaten up by revenge too. It's funny, he's still not happy about what happened, but he's not like Zaeed. He wouldn't want to live with twenty years of hate. Garrus looks at the bitterness twisting the bounty hunters features and sighs. Shepard was right, as always.

#

While Garrus has only just noticed their similarities, their differences become more apparent when they finally catch up with Vido Santiago.

The traitorous leader of the Blue Suns stands on a catwalk above the refinery machines, high overhead, taunting Zaeed.

The bounty hunter looks up, squinting through his good eye, then lifts his assault rifle and shoots out the pipes. Gas hisses out of the holes, a cloud that drifts up towards the catwalk.

"What was that? Gone nearsighted, _old friend_?" Vido mocks.

Zaeed doesn't acknowledge him, except by firing a burst into the gas cloud. "Burn you son of a bitch." He hisses as the flammable gas ignites.

The explosion rocks the room, knocking Garrus off his feet, his head ringing. He looks to Tali; she's lying on her side, one hand pressed against a suit rupture. He crawls towards her, the flames licking overhead, sparing a quick glance to check on his other team mate.

Zaeed is hitting a valve with the butt of his rifle, trying to send even more gas into the inferno.

"My suit; three small punctures. It's auto-sealed, but I'm flooded with antibiotics and painkillers. I won't be much use." Tali says as Garrus reaches her side.

"Head back to the shuttle. I'll sort this out." Garrus watches her limp away before grabbing Zaeed by the shoulder. "Next time you blow something up, I want to know about it first. Tali's suit got holed."

Zaeed doesn't look away from the catwalk where Vido had been standing. "He was confident, had a lot of men, now the bastard has lost the home-field advantage."

Garrus feels torn, knowing that Zaeed was right to want to reduce the number of enemies, but he can't agree when Tali is the one who paid. He digs his talons into the bounty hunter's suit, the metal squealing. "You do _not_ make a move unless I know about it first."

Zaeed pulls his shoulder free, glaring. "I came here to kill Vido. Your commander wants my help; you better make damn sure that man dies today."

Striding ahead, the bounty hunter ignores the chaos, following the trail of the man he's hated for half of his life.

Garrus follows him out into the bright sunshine. Soft clouds break up the deep blue sky that is the backdrop for a number of huge satellite dishes. Garrus wonders how long the Blue Suns have used this factory, what kind of schemes are being destroyed today.

"Help, we're trapped!" A quavering voice interrupts his thoughts, dragging his attention to a catwalk above the flaming building. A human woman in a workers uniform waves her arms. "We can't get the gas values to shut off, the whole place is gonna blow!"

Zaeed stops to glare. "No time; Vido's probably halfway to the shuttle docks by now."

Garrus looks at the woman above, coughing and covered in soot, then back at the bounty hunter. The gap between the two men widens to a chasm. "You're willing to watch these people die?"

Zaeed levels his assault rifle, aiming it at Garrus' chest. "Damn right I am. We stop to help these people and Vido gets away. And if he gets away, I'm blaming you."

Garrus understands about vengeance, he knows that deep, burning passion for justice, to make the bastards pay. But he also knows about collateral damage, that the innocents who get caught up in the violence are the ones who pay the heaviest price.

"We're helping these people." Garrus holds Zaeed's stare, ignoring the weapon pointed at him.

Zaeed doesn't answer, but he grimaces and lowers his rifle.

There are people scattered throughout the refinery, trapped in rooms sealed to keep the fire out. The automated fire extinguishers aren't working and Garrus has to manually switch them on. He's still struggling with the controls when he notices that Zaeed is helping, closing the valves on the opposite side of the factory.

As they finish with the values and meet up at the fire extinguisher controls, Zaeed shrugs, not looking at Garrus. "I'm paid to help you. It's not like I care about any of these bastards; I just want you to get a move on. Vido's gonna be gone soon."

Garrus' omni-tool blips. Tali is back at the shuttle and she's feeling better. One thing less to worry about.

As the refinery doors open, he can hear the rumbling of engines from a light passenger ship hovering over the landing strip. Zaeed pushes past, his assault rifle spraying bullets into the air, pinging off the metal hull.

With a dip of the nose, the vessel shoots up into the air, carrying Zaeed's revenge with him. The bounty hunter keeps firing, ejecting heat sink after heat sink until his target is nothing but a black speck in the sky.

Zaeed rounds on Garrus, his gun aimed at the turian's face. "You just cost me twenty years of my life, you son of a bitch!"

Garrus calculates the distance between them, how many bullets his shield can take before folding, whether he can disable the man before then. He's tensing, ready to act, when a discarded heat sink rolls into a trickle of fuel.

There's a _fwump_ noise, and Garrus feels heat and a pressure on his chest as he's thrown backwards. Something sharp digs into his back and he rolls, scrambling to his feet. Fortunately the explosion seems to have burned off most of the fuel, the flames dying back quickly.

Zaeed is a few feet away, his legs trapped under a chunk of metal. His gun is out of reach and he's swearing more than ever.

Garrus walks over to the bounty hunter, crouching to glare at him. "You started this fire, makes sense to leave you to burn in it."

Zaeed struggles again, but he's pinned in place. "Screw you, loverboy. Now get me out of this shithole."

Garrus rocks back onto his spurs and shakes his head. "I'm not sure Shepard needs a man like you on her ship."

Zaeed laughs, his voice hoarse. "If she didn't want me, Cerberus wouldn't have paid my fee."

"What Cerberus wants and what Shepard wants are two different things." Garrus shakes his head. "I understand what you've done, why you've done it. I might have done the same myself, not too long ago. But today, you put your own goals ahead of the mission. You got Tali hurt, and you endangered innocent civilians."

"I survived this long by watching my own back. I don't have bloody time to worry about anyone else." Zaeed drops his head to the floor, looking up at the sky.

Garrus straightens up, pointing his rifle at Zaeed's unscarred cheek. "You're a part of _her_ team now. We can't do this unless we all work together. Understand me?"

Zaeed is silent, his jaw tense. Then he meets Garrus' eyes, holding out a hand. "You have a point, Vakarian. I'm not done with Vido, but I can put it behind me long enough to get her mission done."

Garrus stares at his expression, judging the sincerity in his voice. The bounty hunter just wiggles his fingers, his lined face unblinking. Garrus braces one foot on the metal and takes Zaeed's hand. Pushing with his foot, he lifts the block high enough to pull the man clear.

"I owe you one, loverboy," Zaeed grumbles as he rubs his leg. He tests his weight on it, wincing.

"Owe Shepard one, and it's a deal," Garrus says.

Zaeed catches his gaze and nods, giving a half smile. "Fine. Now let's get the hell out of here."

"Sounds good to me. I've got something I need to do back on ship anyway," Garrus rumbles.

"Lucky bastard." Zaeed sighs, limping along beside him.


	19. Chapter 19 Tonight

**Tonight**

When Shepard passes by the mess hall, Hawthorne is talking again. But it's a better topic than the mutant babies conversation he was breaking up last time she walked through. He sounds happy, excited, and the atmosphere is lively. "The commander has put together an impressive team. I've never worked with so many aliens before."

A female answers - Goldfarb, Goldstein? Shepard can't remember, but she resolves to find out later to scope out her feelings on the alien crew. "They're a small army. We might just pull this mission off."

There are a few murmurs of assent and the conversation continues. She carries her food into the elevator, nibbling on a chunk of cheese as she waits for it to reach her deck. For a Cerberus crew, they seem to be adjusting to the alien team members well; even her relationship with Garrus seems less of an issue. She's still not talked to the Illusive Man though, not since Miranda found out. She has no interest in his feelings on the matter, so she's avoiding him.

She shifts her food into her left hand so that she can enter her cabin access code. The light turns green and the doors slide open, revealing a bed occupied by a sleeping turian.

The room has been tidied, the fish fed and she guessed her hamster has been looked after as well.

'Kind, thoughtful and an amazing sniper,' she thinks. 'What else does a girl need?'

She tiptoes into the room, placing her food onto her desk one item at a time to minimise the rustling noise. Sneaking closer to the bed, she sees that Garrus has shed his shoes and gloves, lying on his side in just his shirt and trousers. He's almost too tall for the bed, his head resting on a pile of pillows to give his cowl room, with his toes dangling off the end.

She looks at his feet, leaning closer to examine his toes. Three digits tipped with huge claws. They look like they could shred prey in seconds. Sharper than the spurs on the back of his legs, she marvels at the dull sheen of them.

Reaching out, she runs a finger along the side of his ankle, feeling the rough skin catching against her nail a few times. Garrus shifts, a buzzing sigh escaping his mouth, but he doesn't wake.

Clambering onto the bed a limb at a time, she manages to crawl alongside him without it shaking too much. His breathing is slower than normal and she places a hand over his heart, the usual frantic slamming of his pulse turned sluggish in his sleep.

It's the first time she's seen him without his eyepiece, she realises. He's left it beside the bed, his face looking naked without it. She lies beside him, her fingers tracing the plates on his chest. She keeps her touch feather light, hoping he might not feel it through his shirt and thick skin.

"Shepard," one blue eye peeps at her, his voice rumbling deeper than ever. His hand snakes out and grabs her hip, pulling her closer.

"Damn, I was trying not to wake you." She traces a thumb past his left eye down his cheek. "You look different without it on. I like it."

Both eyes open at that, tiny and blue, though he still manages to look sleepy. She continues to caress down his throat, pausing at his shirt collar. She tugs at it and raises an eyebrow.

"You're going to be disappointed," he says. "I'll look like a monster to you."

She leans closer and kisses his forehead, murmuring. "Garrus, you're beautiful."

"Don't let Grunt hear you say that." He laughs. "I'll never live it down."

But he lies still as she explores, finding the fastenings of his top and unsnapping them one at a time. He shifts only to free his arms from the fabric. She marvels at his metallic carapace, interlocking plates that cover his chest in waves. She's reminded of an armadillo, but it's not quite the same, the plates are bigger, thicker. There's nothing comparable from earth.

A cowl circles around his shoulders and neck, running down his chest into a small ridge that flattens out across his stomach. His plates glisten silver in the soft light, darkening to a gunmetal colour on the patches of skin visible under the exoskeleton. He's incredibly alien and yet undeniably sexy at the same time.

Sliding her fingers along a plate edge, she's pleased to note that while it looks sharp, it's not. She pushes on one shoulder, so that he rolls onto his back, his eyes still locked onto her. She places both hands around his waist, it's so tiny, and squeezes gently. Garrus rumbles, his hips shifting as she does it.

"Shepard," he murmurs, his mandibles held tight to show that he's embarrassed.

She glances lower at his trousers and sees evidence of his reaction. "Your waist huh?" She grins and strokes him there again.

Garrus purrs, closing his eyes as he rests his head on her pillows. She slides down the bed a small distance, her head alongside his stomach as she kisses the metal plates, feeling how hot he is, how even with his natural armour, he still shivers at her touch. "You're more sensitive than I thought. I figured I'd have to bite you for you to feel anything."

"I think it's because it's you. I feel different, _everything _feels different," he replies.

His musky leather scent is strong and she loves it, running her nose along his skin as she tries to nibble and lick. Nibbling doesn't seem to work, but he purrs loudly whenever she runs her tongue along the gaps of his stomach plates. She winces as she catches the back of her hand on a rough plate, but it's just a scrape and he doesn't realise.

Exploring his chest, she runs her hands down his sides to his stomach where she squeezes his waist again.

This time, when his hips buck, she runs a hand down to the fastenings on his trousers. She flicks a glance at his face to check that he's okay with it as she opens them. He's gazing at her, his mouth open as he purrs, his talons gripping the bed as he watches her.

"Shepard, are you sure...?"

"I want you Garrus," she runs her hand over the ridge in his trousers. "Let me see you."

He doesn't answer her verbally, but he lifts his hips, allowing her to push the trousers down past the spines that top his legs.

She can see fear on his face; it's something in the way he holds his mandibles before she looks down at him. His groin has soft, leathery skin, like his throat, with a smattering of tiny circular plates radiating outwards towards his hips. And in the middle...

'Huh, I didn't expect it to be _that_ colour', she thinks, leaning in closer. 'He does have blue blood I guess. At least it isn't metal plated. And all those _ridges_...' She almost purrs herself, her stomach clenching as her body reacts.

His talons stroke her hair and he clears his throat, his voice uncertain. "Say something Shepard."

She reaches out a hand and touches him. "You're magnificent," she breathes.

She can feel his body respond, his talons tightening in her hair at even the lightest of touches. She notices the plates that would protect him from his planet's harsh radiation. They've shifted, parting because of her touch. There's moisture on his skin where it's opened up, a slick internal substances that oils him under her hand.

He keeps his body still, the heat radiating off him enticing her to try something. She leans a little closer, kissing the spines running up his hips. His only response is that he flexes his talons. He tastes wonderful, the rough flesh of his spines turning to softer leather at his core. She strokes his waist with one hand, listening to his breathing speeding up.

She glances at his face again, finding his eyes still fixed on her. She smiles and whispers. "I told you that there were _other_ things I can do with my tongue."

She leans forward and licks him, his skin tasting of a sweet musk, his scent filling her lungs. Garrus is purring deep in his throat, the rumbling increasing as she licks again. His natural moisture tastes wonderful and she swirls her tongue along him.

She experiments, her hand moving now to follow her lips, feeling the hardness of his skin mixed with the hardness of his desire. He's throbbing, his heartbeat thrumming like a hummingbird against her tongue.

Shepard hears a ripping sound; even with blunted talons, he's shredding the sheets, trying to hold on to his self-control and failing.

She coughs, her chest tightening, but she ignores it, leaning forward to enclose the tip of him in her mouth. His talons tighten in her hair, delicately scratching her scalp as his purring increases. He's big, but he stays still, his breathing hitching as she moves her tongue. Her throat tickles, and she releases him to cough again.

"Shepard?" She hears him say her name, but she has to sit up, clutching at her throat. It feels too narrow to draw a breath; her lips and tongue seem to have swollen and she can't speak.

She's fighting for air as she sees him sit up, tapping his omni-tool. She hears him shout Chakwas name before his hands are grabbing her, hauling her into his arms, and it all goes dark.

* * *

Very much referring to this when describing Garrus' naked body:

http://images2 (dot)wikia (dot) nocookie (dot) net/masseffect/images/a/a5/Turian_without_armor (dot)jpg


	20. Chapter 20 Subject Zero

_My poor overworked beta Zephyr5 who normally does a daily edit is *gallivanting* around the UK today so all errors below are mine. You will probably be able to tell… Sorry._

_

* * *

_**Subject Zero**

It's a good job turian's can't blush.

Garrus fastens his trousers quickly and then carries Shepard down to the medbay, where Chakwas is waiting.

Shepard's breathing has stabilised to a high pitched wheeze but her face is still a strange purple colour. He places her on the bed and steps aside, hands clenching and unclenching as he watches the doctor examine her.

"What happened?" Chakwas asks as she peers inside Shepard's mouth.

Shepard coughs and then manages to croak out an answer. "Allergic…. ice cream?"

Chakwas raises an eyebrow and slowly and deliberately turns to look at Garrus' naked chest. "Ice cream? _Really_? You know I can't treat you unless I know what's really wrong with you."

Shepard shakes her head, refusing to change her story, so Garrus takes a step forward, hand on his chest. "Me. I think she was allergic to me."

Shepard glares and groans as much as she can with a tongue depressor in her mouth. "Nooo 'arrus…"

The doctor beams at him and wanders off to her shelves, rummaging with the bottles on the shelf.

"I didn't think about the possibility of an allergic reaction," he explains, fidgeting.

Chakwas stays calm, unconcerned by his fretting. She pours some pills into a smaller bottle. "Shepard had a mild reaction, nothing life threatening. Of those people who actually experience anaphylaxis, only 1% _may_ die as a result. It's fine."

He feels the doctor's eyes on him, taking in his bare chest, his taloned feet. Then her eyes reach his midsection and she flushes a deep red and looks back at the pill bottle.

Shepard notices the doctor's expression and looks down, making a strange gargling noise when she sees the problem.

He leans closer and whispers in her ear. "I can't help it. It can take a while for my plates to move back if I don't… ah, finish."

He can't quite understand every word, due to her swollen mouth, but he's pretty sure Shepard's just used more swear words than even Jack has. Her red cheeks and annoyed glare actually help with his problem and he feels his body relaxing.

Chakwas returns, handing Shepard a little white bottle, shaking it as she drops it into her palm.

"Antihistamines. Cures problems with ice cream _and_ turians." Chakwas says at Shepard who rolls her eyes, grumbling. "One of those and you'll be fine the next time you two... well, yes. I'll ask Mordin about a turian equivalent."

The doctor raises her eyebrow and looks pointedly at his bare chest again. "She can rest here a little while; I need to give her a quick injection. Plenty of time for you to get dressed."

Garrus backs away from the doctor's knowing smile. "I'll be five minutes," he promises.

As he heads to the elevator, his talons click on the cool metal flooring. It's the middle of the night so the mess hall is deserted. It's only his natural curiosity getting the better of him when he stops as he heard voices.

He's too far to hear what they're saying, but it sounds like Jacob is in Miranda's office. Garrus hears her peals of laughter, then the deeper bass of the human male as he replies. Garrus still aims towards the elevator, but on a slightly more circuitous route to pass by Miranda's door.

There's a soft wet noise that reminds him of when Shepard kisses him, and then he hears Jacob's voice clearly. "You always did have a thing for champagne."

'Interesting', Garrus thinks as calls the elevator. 'I wonder why it smells so strongly of those straw berries Shepard loves?'

After getting fully dressed, Garrus flips on the ship intercom to ask Shepard if she needed anything from her room. It seems to be tuned to Joker's frequency from the last time she's used it.

"I understand, Jeff," EDI is saying. "But as I understand it, his blood _is_ blue, so you'd probably be right in saying that his, as you call them, _balls_ are blue."

Garrus doesn't understand why Joker starts to cackle, but he knows enough to turn off the speaker and hurry back to the medbay.

#

Garrus is glad that Shepard didn't have a serious allergic reaction, but he'd not even thought to check about physical incompatibilities like this. Stupid, when he knows they can't consume the same food or drink.

She'd laughed it off, saying that it's not a problem, the only downside was feeling a little weak. And with the pills, it wouldn't happen again.

The worst part is that Chakwas knows about them and she has seen him half naked and aroused. Shepard seems most unhappy at _that_ part of the problem. She mutters about 'girl talk' and 'living it down' before going quiet when Jack appears in the cargo bay.

Chakwas has managed to keep the allergic reaction to herself, so while _they_ know why Shepard looks pale with black bags under her eyes, the real reason is still a secret.

"Seriously woman, you need to fuck less and get some sleep, you look like shit." Jack is sprawled opposite Shepard in the shuttle. The biotic peers at Shepard with a smug grin on her face. "Though, your turian must be a _great_ lay if you look this rough. Can I borrow him? There's no humans worth a fuck on this ship."

Garrus doesn't turn as he pilots them to Pragia. All he hears from Shepard is a grunt for a reply.

"Sorry Jack," Garrus rumbles after a moment. "I'm a one human kind of turian."

Jack snorts, crossing her arms. "Can I watch at least? Never seen a turian at it. I've heard that they pack one hell of a weapon, too."

They both keep silent at that and Jack just laughs to herself.

The shuttle dips into the planets atmosphere and Jack's attitude changes; she stops mouthing off, sinking back into her seat, her brash smile gone. Heavy rain lashes at the vehicle as it skims across the thick vegetation to land on the roof.

Jack fiddles with the bomb she's carrying to the extent that Garrus takes the detonator from her, putting it in his pocket for later. The biotic doesn't notice, concentrating on smashing open the doors to the long abandoned facility.

Garrus hates the smell, decay, antiseptic and mould. He follows behind as Jack leads the way deeper inside the ancient facility, hanging back to walk beside Shepard.

Garrus slows his steps enough so that Jack would be out of hearing, the young woman inspecting some cargo containers. He places a gloved hand on her shoulder for a moment, his eyes serious. "Shepard, this is a bad idea."

"Don't," she rubs a glove across her brow. "You could just as easily have had a reaction to my saliva when I first kissed you. The doc says it's not a big deal, one pill and I'll be fine."

He shakes his head. "You got _sick_, Shepard. I know you said you didn't want anyone else, but if we're no good for each other…"

"No buts, Garrus. One question, did you enjoy it?" She stares at him. "What I did to you?"

His mandibles quiver as he hesitates, but he can't lie to her. "I have to tell you Shepard," he leans closer to her, breathing right in her ear. "It was the best damned feeling I've _ever_ had."

"Can you two stop with the fucking pillow talk, need a little help here," Jack marches up to them, waving a hand at an old terminal.

Garrus drops his hand from her shoulder and flips open his omni-tool, tapping at the corroded machinery to make it work. An old personal log fires up, a man in a Cerberus uniform starts to explain how they are working under the radar, how the Illusive Man would shut them down if he knew about their methods.

Jack backs away, shaking her head at the information. "This is bullshit."

She charges ahead, using her biotics to rip through the overgrown vegetation, throwing old furniture through the mirrored walls. She doesn't wait for them, smashing past old bedrooms and something that looks like an arena. Blood stains the floor and there are signs of many fights.

"I loved it. They let me out of my cell, fought the other kids." She flexes her fingers, blue crackling around her knuckles. "Shocked me if I hesitated, gave me sweet drugs if I attacked." She winks at Garrus, licking her lips. "I still get _hot_ when I'm fighting."

He walks past her, ignoring the open invitation in her stare. He'd never noticed human women looking at him before, now Shepard, Chambers _and_ Jack? Were scars _that_ attractive to humans?

The morgue is a grim room, smaller than usual tables, tiny body bags lying in the corners of the room. The putrid stench irritates his nose and he considers wearing his helmet to filter out the smell. For once, he's glad that Shepard can't smell what he can.

"This is... unbelievable." Shepard growls, kicking over an aging chair. She looks like she's over her earlier fatigue, her face dark.

"Some sick son of a bitch killed a lot of kids with these experiments." Garrus says to her. "And then checked his work."

"That's not true. I was treated the worst! They didn't have it that bad," Jack argues, trying to ignore the reality opening up in front of her.

Shepard talks to the biotic, nurturing her anger, teaching her to use it as a strength. It's easy for her to internalise the pain to make herself harder, tougher.

Garrus stops listening, preferring to follow far behind them as they explore the facility. He's never really understood Jack and doesn't care to now. If Shepard wants to get along with everyone on her crew, that's fine. But they're never all going to be friends. She didn't even manage that on the old Normandy, however hard she tried. Williams had never truly trusted the alien crew members, even until the end.

He watches Shepard as she heals the broken girl. He's sure that she's unaware of how it's _her_ strength that keeps them together, keeps them willing to risk all to save an ungrateful universe. If she can even get _Jack_ on board, well, the Collectors have no chance.

He's realised that he's dropped too far behind when a pale man with mottled skin runs past, eyes wide. He hears Shepard saying 'you did the right thing to let him go' so he ignores him, trusting Shepard's choice.

Then Shepard is walking towards him, Jack at her side. While he'd never call Jack friendly, she's looking at Shepard with none of her usual anger, the hint of a smile playing on her lips. Progress.

Back on the shuttle, he sets the autopilot and sits in the back with them. He hands Jack the detonator, watching her face light up as she depresses the button, ripping her past into tiny pieces.

#

"Commander," Joker's voice interrupts Shepard reviewing her messages in the CIC. "Jack & Miranda are in the middle of a disagreement. You might want to get to Miranda's office before they…"

"Yeah, yeah," she sighs. "Destroy your ship. I'm on it."

Shepard can hear crashing furniture the minute the elevator doors open.

"Bitch," Jack's voice echoes around the mess hall and a chair slams against the wall.

Shepard strides between the two women, hands outstretched. "Stand down, you two!"

Jack tosses a biotic blast at the wall above Miranda with a snarl. "The fucking cheerleader…"

"I said stand down Jack!" Shepard doesn't shout, but her voice cuts across the room. "I don't care about any bullshit between you two. Our mission is too important to let personal feelings get in the way."

"Fuck your feelings, I just want her dead." Jack slams her fist into the wall.

Shepard glares at her. "Put it aside, _now_. I don't care what you do after the mission. But until then, stow it."

"I can wait," Miranda crosses her arms.

"Sure, hate to see the bitch die before I get the chance to filet her myself." Jack pushes past Shepard, her biotics dying down.

"Miranda, we don't have time for this," Shepard leans against her XO's desk as she watches the other woman slump into her chair.

"I know," Miranda shrugs. "But I'm sick of everyone acting like Cerberus is some kind of evil organisation…"

"Miranda, they _are_ an evil organisation. Don't argue," Shepard holds up a hand. "I don't know what the Illusive Man has told you, but have you looked into my file? Really looked? Not just Saren and Sovereign, but the little stuff. So many of the problems I solved were due to Cerberus interference. Do me a favour, when you have time, check it out."

Miranda shrugs, obviously disbelieving. "If you want me to Commander, I'll look."

#

Mordin is pacing by his workstation, shaking his head. "Sent message, asking you to see me days ago. Wanted to talk."

Garrus stands, leaning in the doorway as far from the salarian as possible. "Been busy, doc. Righting wrongs, catching the bad guys. You know."

Mordin keeps fiddling with the vials on his desk. "Understand Shepard ingested tissue. Resulting anaphylactic shock. Would have warned you. Do not ingest."

Garrus shrugs, not wanting to look up. "Yeah, we know _now_. And Chakwas has given Shepard some pills."

Mordin nods, pointing to the vials on his desk. "Yes, producing turian variant now. Still, Shepard might need analgesic. Chafing."

Garrus blinks slowly, trying not to react. "Uh, well, she's not had any problems so far."

"Understand not partaken in full, ahem intercourse… Friction, abrasions. Recommend caution, can supply oil or ointments to reduce discomfort." Mordin shakes one of the vials on his workstation.

Garrus stares at the doctors huge black eyes, unsure if he's joking or not. The salarian gazes back, fidgeting as he continues to make the turian anti-histamine equivalent.

"Assume already understand erogenous zones if Shepard ingesting already," even without eyebrows Mordin manages to wiggle his forehead in a suggestive manner. "Forwarded advice booklets to her quarters. Useful diagrams…"

"Uh, doc, it's okay…" Garrus holds up his hands in surrender, but Mordin keeps speaking.

"Since not yet achieved full intercourse, diagrams show positions comfortable to both species…"

"Mordin," Garrus growls, stalking over to the workstation. "Enough, stop with the jokes."

"Shocking suggestion. Doctor patient confidentiality a sacred trust. Would never dream of mockery." Mordin places a hand over his heart, his large eyes looking hurt.

"If you don't stop, I'll go talk to Samara about _your_ relationship." Garrus says.

"Threat? Hmm, yes, possibly. Spend time together. Researching. Samara, will she believe? Perhaps, yes." Mordin's hands drop to his sides and his wide mouth droops. "Will not mention interspecies relationship to you or Shepard again."

Garrus leaves the salarian muttering his worries under his breath as he heads back to Shepard's cabin.


	21. Chapter 21 The ArdatYakshi

**The Ardat-Yakshi**

"Tell me," Shepard repeats, her head on his chest. Garrus loves the feel of her against him, her silky hair, her cool cheek.

It's late, but they've not stopped talking since he arrived. She keeps prising information out of him about turian life, culture and society. And now she's moved onto sex.

He shrugs, one arm wrapped around her shoulders, the other roaming, touching her hair and skin, feeling her as she lies against him. "Shepard, it's different. I can't…relieve stress with you the way I can with a turian woman."

"So tell me," she insists. "What's different?"

"It'd be a lot rougher. We'd probably fight a little; biting, scratching. It's about… well, forcing her to submit to my dominance." Shepard laughs so he hurries on. "I'd hold her down, biting her neck to keep her still, then we'd… ah… mate. Then I'd leave."

"It sounds… fast?" She trails a hand across his stomach plates, fingers catching and exploring the overlap.

"Most of the time is spent on the fighting," he admits. "Like human flirting, to build the tension."

"So it's like human foreplay?" Her hand reaches the waistband of his trousers and hovers, her fingers tracing circles on his lower belly. "I can do that. Fighting you sounds fun."

"Shepard, before you, it's only been one night stands, flings." He looks up at the ceiling, his talons reflexively tightening on her shoulder as he thinks. "I've never had a relationship before this one, but when a turian finds their mate, it's more like this. Slower - less fighting, more… talking."

"Funny," her voice sounds anything but amused. "My only relationship before you had less talking and more flirting." She lifts her head and rests it on her hands on his stomach. "So we're in a relationship. Huh."

"According to the rumours spreading around the Normandy, we are yeah. But you know how much bull those guys talk." He grins at her.

She laughs, nodding. She splays her fingers out and strokes his chest. "I love how hot you are."

He stretches under her hands, a low purr rumbling in his throat. "My home planet, Palaven, is hot and bright. Apart from the killer radiation, you'd love it."

She doesn't smile, her brows pulled together as she touches him. "I'll be so cold compared to you."

"Hmm?" He can't follow her line of thought, distracted by her hands. He's trying to control himself; she's tired after her allergic reaction, but she's so close to him, her hands touching him everywhere. And she smells so delicious.

"Well," she bites her lip, one hand sliding around his waist, causing his hips to shift and flex. "Human men, well, hot is sexy and cold is a big turn off."

He pulls her hand back to his stomach, shaking his head. "Oh, no, no. Turian females, they're a bit cooler. That's what we prefer."

"Oh." She looks at her hands, silent for a moment, before she glances up and catches his eyes, noticing the huge wide smile on his face. "Ohh."

He grins. "I can't believe I hadn't thought of it before."

She shakes her head, hands sneaking around to unfasten his shirt. She tugs at it, trying to get him to move his arms so that she can remove it.

"No," he says.

"No? I order you to strip for me soldier," her hands tug more insistently on the fabric.

"No," he repeats, his hands moving to the front of her shirt and tugging. "I'm pretty sure it's _your_ turn."

She makes a grumbling noise, but she sits up, swinging a leg over his hips to straddle him. "Fine, but if I'm stripping, you better have taken your drugs. I don't want Chakwas to get any more ammunition."

He laughs, pointing to an empty vial at the side of the bed. "No excuses commander."

She grabs hold of the bottom of her shirt, arms crossed and pulls it over her head in one swift motion. He slides his hands up over her hips to feel her bare waist. He peers at the depression at the centre of her stomach, poking it gently with one talon.

She giggles, pushing his hand away and shaking her head. "Navel. I'll explain sometime."

He continues to skate his talons along her sides to brush against the bottom of her black underwear. It barely covers her breasts, all swirls of soft, silken fabric and patterned holes.

"Let me. There's no way I'm explaining how to remove a bra to you." She reaches behind her back and fiddles for a moment, before the undergarment slides down her arms.

Then his commander is half naked above him, her arms held at her sides, looking down at him as she waits for him to react.

He moves his hands again, intrigued as to why breasts are such an obsession to human males. Cupping one in each hand, he's surprised by how heavy they are, firm and yet soft. Shepard shifts a little as he holds them, her skin flushing as his thumb brushes across the tip. He's fascinated as the tip changes, hardening and he rubs it again.

This time she closes her eyes and murmurs. He detects a change in her scent as she leans into his touch. "Garrus, yes, like that…" she breathes.

He rolls, using his hands and hips to reverse their positions. The move ends with Shepard lying flat on the bed, and him resting between her legs, his face above her chest. Garrus leans forward and licks along the valley between her breasts, his hands still caressing her. Her breasts feel weird and wonderful; turian women only have one area of their body that isn't plated, and it doesn't feel anything like this. He swirls his tongue along her skin to the tip of a breast, enjoying the taste of her spreading through his mouth.

He doesn't think he'll ever stand slack-jawed watching asari dancers, but he has more of an understanding now he's seen Shepard melting at his touch. She whimpers, her hands reaching down to caress his fringe as he teases her cool flesh.

He leans back out of reach, unable to help smiling at her frustrated growl. His own body is reacting to her arousal well enough without her touching his fringe. He needs to keep control, there's something he needs to do.

He slides his hands to the waistband of her trousers and pauses at the fastening. He looks up, catching her gaze as she lies back, mouth half open. She sees his unspoken question and nods, lifting her hips.

He slides her trousers down slowly, marvelling at her body as he does so. Hair, between her legs – that's unexpected. And a soft down on her legs themselves. He throws her trousers beside the bed and looks at her, his hands resting above her heels. Curved hips, rounded rear, her body shape is so different to what he's used to.

"Not too alien?" she asks. But she sounds confident; she can read his expressions so easily.

"You transcend both our species' ideas of beauty," he murmurs to himself as he leans forward, sliding his hands up her legs. Her body trembles and her legs relax a little more, allowing him to slide closer to the core of her. Her legs are lithe but taut with muscles that flex under his touch.

His fingers brush up the inside of her thighs, his talons tracing the shape of her body, fascinated by how the hair covers such a small patch of her, enticing and mysterious. He strokes it, blinking at the different texture. He can smell her now, and moves his face closer to her, his breathing heavy.

She whimpers again, her hands clutching the sheets as she looks at him, biting her lower lip. He loves watching her tremble, need and desperation written all over her expressive face.

He understands now how humans use their tongues, enjoying licking and tasting all over. It's not something he'd ever consider for a turian female, biting is needed for their leather and plates, but he can see the desire in Shepard's eyes and it drives his own craving for her higher. He shifts his hips, giving himself more room against the bed as his need intensifies.

He lowers his head and licks, drowning in the sensation of her taste and scent and feel. Impossible as it seems, her skin is softer here than anywhere else, so cool compared to him, wet and incredibly sensitive if the way she rocks her hips and moans louder is anything to go by.

"Garrus, yes, there," she sighs as he holds onto her thighs, stroking with his fingers.

He leans closer, tasting her again, gauging her reactions as he explores her sex with his tongue and fingers. He realises that there's a spot, a small nub, that makes her body quiver every time he touches it, her hands gripping the sheets harder, her moans growing in intensity. Her hips thrust towards him, her whimpers growing in volume as he laps at her.

As he teases her, he marvels at how she looks. This is _Shepard_ - even after Horizon she was in control. Angry, unhappy and shouting, but in control. Now she's lying back, helpless, mewling, totally trusting him with her body. He's never felt more for her than at this moment.

"Garrus?" She asks, her breathing ragged. "Can… can you purr when you're doing that?"

He considers for a second, then purrs as he licks, allowing the vibration to resonate through his chest and along his tongue to her body. She writhes now, her moans increasing in volume as his purrs thrum, her hips grinding against his face as she tears at the sheets with her hands. He keeps swirling his tongue, teasing that hypersensitive nub as the sound reverberates between them.

Her body tenses, her limbs shaking as her thighs clench against his face. She cries out his name, her entire body arching away from the bed before she relaxes back with a loud, satisfied sigh. He's never satisfied a turian woman like this, doesn't even think it's possible, but he understands her body language to know what he's just done.

He can't help the smug grin on his face as he slides up the bed to lie beside her, finding her eyes half closed as she pants. He's taken impossible shots, he's saved thousands of lives, but right now, satisfying Shepard is the proudest moment of his life.

"That was… incredible," she murmurs, resting her head against his shoulder.

"I enjoyed it too," he says, stroking her hair. "Your body feels wonderful, and you taste… like nothing else I've ever tasted. I…I'm glad that I…"

A soft snore interrupts him and he glances down at her, surprised. She's curled up against him, her cool body pressed against his for warmth. And she's fast asleep.

Sighing, he lies back against the pillow and tries to relax, willing away his reaction to her as she drifts deeper into sleep.

#

The dry air in life support makes Shepard lick her lips. Thane sits patiently, hands clasped in front of him as she tells him about the message from Captain Bailey of C-Sec. "Kolyat is doing okay. Everything's taken care of legally and he's doing some work, helping deal with some trash in the wards, making life better for some of the kids like Mouse."

She looks up from her omni tool, leaving off the end of the message. _Don't know if your drell and mine are talking. I told him life was too short not to, but I don't know if it took. _Thane's twin eyelids blink as he stares at her without speaking for almost a minute.

"Thank you Shepard, it is good to know that Kolyat is receiving proper guidance." Thane finally says before returning her smile. "I hope that I might visit once our mission is complete."

"And of course, you can send him a message via the extranet." She says.

Thane blinks again, his expression unchanged. "Yes, I could." He looks down to his clasped hands again. She can understand the attraction of many of the other women on the ship to the handsome assassin, but she feels that he's still living in the past, with his dead wife. With his young son.

"Perhaps the message would better be sent at another time." He says, black eyelids flickering closed and then open again. "I appreciate these chats we have. You're the only friend I've made in ten years."

"I like being your friend, Thane." She reaches across the table to take his hand in hers. "Call me if you need anything."

"Of course, Siha." He squeezes her hand between his own cool palms.

She excuses herself, leaving the drell to pray, enigmatic as ever.

As she exits his room, she finds the observation lounge doors standing open. Samara is pacing in the doorway, apparently waiting for her.

"Commander," the asari calls, "I must speak with you. It is about my mission to kill the Ardat-Yakshi. To kill my daughter."

#

Shepard would never have bought this dress herself, but it was one of the least revealing outfits in Yeoman Chamber's wardrobe. Skin tight, cut down to the navel and up to the thigh, it leaves little of her body to the imagination. And the people in the VIP section of Afterlife have definitely noticed.

She sips her drink and thinks back a couple of hours. She'd told Garrus that he couldn't come with her on the mission, that she was heading out unarmed. Samara alone is watching over her, waiting for Morinth, the Ardat-Yakshi, to make a move. Shepard is the bait to draw her out so that Samara can kill her own daughter.

Ardat-Yakshi, a rare genetic anomaly within asari culture, gain great pleasure in mating, but end up killing their victims with the influx of sensations. The effect is addictive, hence Morinth going on the run from her mother rather than living a life of penance and chastity. The fact that she has mind controlling abilities makes her even more dangerous.

Shepard told Garrus all of this, hands on her hips as he quarrels with her, pacing up and down the tiny space in her cabin. He'd been angry that she'd agreed to go out without him, that she'd agreed to act as bait for a powerful biotic killer, but mostly that she wouldn't let him protect her. He'd looked terrifying, all sharp teeth, predatory gaze and strong limbs as he'd argued with her.

Shepard sips her drink again, eyes scanning the crowd. "Good grief, Garrus. I've only died once. I don't like men who smother me," she'd snapped and he'd walked out, head down, eyes hurt. She'd done it deliberately, hurting him to make him let her go, but she didn't have to like it.

A human male, mid-thirties, handsome, starts talking to her. She pushes down her guilt and flashes him a wide smile. Bright red lipstick to match the dress, more eyeliner than Miranda; she feels like she's wearing a mask. She leans closer to her admirer, running a nail down his chest before standing and walking away with a laugh. Shimmying onto the dance floor, she flirts with an asari, her usual tame dancing thrown aside to thrust and grind against the blue skinned alien. She leaves the asari panting and heads to a different part of the room. She can feel many eyes following her, but still can't tell if she's caught Morinth's attention.

A turian male slides up beside her. He sniffs at her hair, one taloned hand resting on her shoulder. "You like turian men eh? I can smell him on you." He leans closer, his mandibles quivering. "I like human women. I like watching them screaming as I fuck them."

Shepard smiles sweetly and then punches his waist with one hand, twisting his talons off her with the other. "Not tonight, Romeo."

She rubs the side of a volus' head, laughing at his hyperventilating. He waddles after her, but she keeps moving, longer legs leaving him behind as she continues circling the club.

Her plan finally works and her way is blocked by a beautiful asari. Morinth looks very much like Samara, but wearing tight black clothes and an alluring smile.

Shepard finds herself enjoying talking to Morinth; she's interesting and she understands her. The darkness of space, the bleakness between the stars. How each person killed is both an honour and a sacrifice. She finds herself nodding, agreeing. There is something nagging at the back of her mind, but she's enjoying herself too much to worry about it now. If it's important, Garrus will come find her….

Garrus. The thought of him snaps her back to herself and for the first time she realises how dangerous Morinth is. She's feeling dazed, hypnotised almost, when Morinth takes her hand and invites her back to her apartment; all she can do is stumble along behind the asari.

#

Morinth is sitting on her lap, thin blue fingers combing through her hair. Shepard struggles, knowing that something important is happening, but it's so hard to focus. How much easier to relax, to let herself be swept away by the soft music, the warm caresses of the asari.

She's never found an asari attractive before. Too feminine for her tastes; she'd been friends with Liara, but nothing more. Even during Liara's mind melds Shepard had felt nothing sexual between them. But Morinth…Shepard can't imagine anyone _not_ wanting her. She can't imagine ever wanting anyone else.

Seated on Shepard's lap, one of Morinth's hands strokes her hair, the other traces her lips. Shepard is enjoying it; the feel of soft skin against her own, a humanoid shape, lips that mold to her mouth as Morinth kisses her.

"Look into my eyes and tell me you want me. Tell me you'd kill for me. Anything I want," Morinth whispers against her lips.

Her voice is like a melody - it circles in Shepard's brain, looping over and over until she finds herself helpless to do anything but repeat it. "I want you. I'd kill for you. Anything you want."

Morinth's eyes gleam, lit from the inside by a white glow. "Shhh, my darling." She leans forward to kiss her again, their fingers twining together.

And now Shepard feels it, that mental connection she had with Liara. But there's more, so much _more_, as the physical sensations trickle through her body. Her fingers tremble where Morinth holds them, her muscles relaxing and tightening against her will. She can't keep her eyes open - it feels like an orgasm approaching - and she collapses back against the seat, unable to control the shudders ripping through her.

"Yes, my darling," Morinth coos. "Relax, let me in, let me…"

"Shepard!" The resonant male voice cuts through her haze; she wants to speak, to call his name…but she can't remember it - she can't even move, her body sliding bonelessly to the floor.

There's a dazzling blue light and Shepard is falling, still dazed, still quivering. She's still paralysed , and her head smashes into the floor at the same time as she sees Morinth thrown into the opposite wall.

"Shepard." Rough hands gather her limp body, lifting her trembling form into a tight embrace. Cool metal armour and hard mandibles dig into her face. It's not what she wants; it's not soft asari flesh, not a feminine mouth on her own. She tries to struggle, to get away back to Morinth, but she can only make a low keening noise.

The light of biotic power overwhelms Shepard's eyes and she tries to close them. Garrus - she remembers his name - carries her out away from Morinth, away from her reason for existing, letting Samara and her daughter fight.

"Find Peace in the Embrace of the Goddess," someone says - Samara or Morinth? Shepard can't tell. But she hears a wet, sickening thud and a scream, and then a white light smashes all conscious thought apart.


	22. Chapter 22 Recovery

**Recovery**

He'd ignored her orders to stay away from the mission, following behind at a safe distance, and he'd still almost been too late. Pacing up and down outside the medbay, he punches the wall, the metal deforming under his fist.

"Garrus, you're not helping," Jacob comments from where he's sat on a table in the mess hall.

Garrus ignores him, stalking the opposite way to kick out at a bench, his talons causing the metal to screech and bend. She'd been so pale, blood running from her scalp, lying crumpled on the floor. If he'd been faster, could he have stopped Morinth?

He lashes out at another bench, satisfied as it collapses under his foot.

Pacing back to the medbay, he peers through a window, but all he can see is Chakwas and Mordin, hovering over Shepard's still form. He presses a hand against the dark glass, a halo blooming around his talons. The doctors' frantic movements have slowed and they look less worried.

"I'm going in," he says to himself, ignoring the mutters from the other crew members gathered nearby.

The medbay doors slide open and he can see her, lying on her side, her eyes half-open but vacant.

Chakwas looks up, annoyed. "I told you to wait outside Officer Vakarian."

Mordin holds up a hand, two fingers in the air. "Natural reaction, male turian's protective instinct. Shepard's head trauma stabilised. Fine for visiting mate."

Chakwas nods, still frowning. "Okay, but _only_ Garrus. I've given her sedatives, she needs to rest."

"Shepard." Garrus takes her hand, her fingers limp in his grasp. Her half-open eyes slide closed as he squeezes, but there's no other response.

"Let her sleep, she should be fine when she wakes. Mild concussion at most. I'll go inform the others." Chakwas pats his shoulder and leaves the room, Mordin following close behind.

For the first hour, Garrus blames himself. He should never have let her go without him. He should have tailed her more closely. He should have shot Morinth from afar. He's a sniper, it would've been easy.

Then for the next hour, he blames Shepard. Looking at her pale face and bruised eyes, his fury grows. She hadn't let him protect her. She didn't take him. She'd left him behind. How stupid of her!

When she starts to whimper in her sleep, his anger at her fades; that's when he knows who the _real _problem is.

"Garrus…" Samara is standing in the medbay doorway.

In one fluid movement, he leaps from Shepard's side, wrapping one arm around the Justicar's throat, one foot pinning her to the wall. She flinches, her natural instinct to fight back showing in a shimmer of blue biotic power.

But Samara relaxes in his grip, her huge eyes filled with sorrow. "I am sorry that Commander Shepard was injured, Garrus. I had hoped that…"

"Hoped?" He snarls. "Your 'hope' sees her hospitalised. If you'd let me come, I could have helped…"

"Morinth almost got away." Samara's voice is a soft monotone. "You interrupted…"

"Hell yes I did, before she hurt Jane any more than…"

"I did not wish the commander pain. For that I apologise, and I can do nothing but offer my oath to serve. But Morinth was my responsibility. For most of my life I have hunted her, followed the trail of dead left in her wake. I killed my bravest and most beautiful daughter today, Officer Vakarian."

Garrus relaxes, dropping his arm from her throat and releasing her body from beneath his foot. He can see the pain in Samara's eyes, the hard choice Shepard made in helping her. "Just… go. Shepard will speak to you when she wakes."

Samara nods, heading to the exit in silence.

Garrus resumes sitting at Shepard's side, holding her cool hand in his as she sleeps and dreams.

He barely notices time passing until the soft _woosh_ of the doors makes him glance up to see Miranda enter the room. She looks at her commander, then checks at the medical monitors.

"You're her XO. How did you let this happen?" He asks, turning back to Shepard's sleeping face.

"All I had was an outline of the mission; I had no idea that it was so dangerous." Miranda holds her hands up.

"Shouldn't you have known? If it had been me…" Garrus growls.

"Well, it's _not_ you." Miranda snaps. "And believe me, there's times I've wished it was. Shepard can be one iron-clad _bitch_ when she wants to be. If she treated you the way she can treat me… Well, it'd soon stop you mooning after her like a love-struck calf."

"I…" He's about to stand up, to continue arguing, when Shepard sighs and rolls over in her sleep. He squeezes her hand again, watching her eyelids flicker. "This isn't the time."

Miranda relaxes, the fight visibly draining out of her. "You're right. Let me know if there's any change."

He murmurs his agreement, annoyed with himself for making a disturbance when Shepard is resting. Intent on his vigil, he barely notices Miranda leave.

He watches Shepard's chest rising and falling as she breathes, the strange way her eyes move beneath her eyelids. Is she dreaming? Is Morinth still in her mind, or is Shepard free now that the asari is dead? He feels sick, not knowing if Shepard is safe inside her own mind.

"You let her get hurt." Thane stands in the room's entranceway, hands clasped behind his back. "You are supposed to be her protector."

Garrus shakes his head and looks back to Shepard, ignoring the drell. He hears footsteps, and then Thane is standing opposite him, staring at him with his dark eyes.

"Explain to me how you let her…"

"I didn't 'let her' do anything, assassin," Garrus growls. "She's an adult, our _commander_, remember. If she wants to go out on a mission without me, I…"

Thane shakes his head, his own voice rumbling in his agitation. "I would have protected Siha… Shepard…"

"Don't call her _that_." Garrus drops Shepard's hand and stands up, facing Thane. All of his anger and rage finds a focus and his body starts to shake.

Thane blinks at him. "I do not under-"

"I said, don't call her that." Garrus braces his legs, squaring his shoulders as he glares at the drell. "I've heard you use it before. It's not hard to find out information on the extranet, about drell customs and beliefs. So; _don't call her that_." He snarls. "She's _Shepard_ - no, she's the _commander_, and that's _all_ she is to _you_."

"I meant no harm." Thane's hands drop to his sides, but Garrus can see the tension in the assassin's body, muscles taut, waiting for a fight.

"I don't care." Garrus wants to punch him, rip his stupid, soft flesh from his face. _Someone_ has to pay for what's happened. _Someone_ deserves…

"Interesting. Heard of turian mating displays, never witnessed. Dominance usually solved with body language, though fighting possible. Aggressive reaction protecting mating rights. Another male encroaching…" Mordin is standing off to one side, tapping on his omni-tool as he watches their argument.

"I have no interest in mating with Shepard." Thane's cool demeanour cracks as he glares at Mordin.

"Hormone levels, hmm, yes, high. Drell male, performing courtship rituals, ready for reproduction. Turian response justified, recommend…"

"Excuse me." Thane murmurs, abruptly turning and leaving the medbay, his head lowered.

Garrus rubs a hand over his face and sits down again. "Do you ever engage your brain before you speak, doc?"

Mordin is checking Shepard's monitors, but he swivels to face Garrus. "Brain always engaged, Officer Vakarian. Brain controls motor functions, as such…"

Garrus rolls his eyes and tries again. "How many times have you been punched in the face and you have no idea why?"

That gives Mordin pause. For once, the salarian's hyperactive responses are slowed as he chews on one slender finger. Eventually, his wide black eyes focus on Garrus. "Fifty two. Hmm, maybe fifty one, John did apologise." Mordin blinks rapidly. "Officer Vakarian positing that punching correlates to something hypothesized? Hmm, no, all speech scientific, accurate. Based on data. No possible reason to provoke violence. Theory invalidated."

Garrus snorts, his black mood lightening a touch for the first time since he rescued Shepard. He straightens her shirt and smoothes her hair down.

Mordin checks the monitors one more time before heading to the doors, where he pauses. "Understand concept of joke. Almost believed you. Funny." And then he's gone, leaving Garrus and Shepard on their own again.

Garrus can hear a few people milling around in the mess hall, but they don't come in. Jacob and Tali fight; he can't hear the details, but he can hear a mix of Tali's outraged shouting and Jacob's softer voice. After a good ten minutes of commotion, Tali storms off, and the mess hall is quiet again.

Garrus brushes some loose hairs off Shepard's forehead, holding her hand as she moans. He has no idea how long the sedatives Chakwas gave her are supposed to last, and he's chased Mordin away.

Garrus is so deep in his thoughts that he only realises Yeoman Chambers is in the room when she places a hand on his shoulder.

He looks at the young redhead kneeling in front of him, one hand on his shoulder, the other reaching to touch his knee as she leans towards him. "Are you all right, Garrus?" Tears well up in her eyes and she sniffs delicately. "You look like you're in so much pain. I want to hug you, make it all better."

He leans back slightly, so that her hand drops off his shoulder onto his leg. "I'm fine. Shepard is the one in pain."

"No," Kelly's eyes are wide, the tears trickling down her cheeks now. The hand on his thigh squeezes, sliding upwards. "Here," she thumps her chest. "Heartsick. How you must feel, knowing that Shepard got hurt while you weren't there. Oh, your guilt, it must be _terrible_." The young woman leans forward, trying to wrap her arms around his waist.

Garrus kicks his chair aside and scoots backwards, almost causing Kelly to fall on her face. "I…" He pushes back his angry reaction to her touch. She probably doesn't know how sensitive his waist is, how personal she is being in turian terms. "I'd like to be alone with Shepard. My feelings are fine," he growls.

Kelly looks hurt and offended as she stands, brushing imaginary dirt off her knees. She turns and walks slowly out of the room, her shoulders shaking in silent sobs.

EDI pops up, as Kelly exits the room, her blue sphere lighting the dim medbay. "Officer Vakarian."

"Did you just watch that, EDI?" Garrus asks, pulling his chair back to Shepard's side.

"Yep," Joker's voice crackles over the comm. "Girl's got a _bad_ crush on you there, bud." Joker sounds highly amused by this. "Better not tell Shepard, or she'll have Chambers cleaning the latrines for a month."

"_When_ Shepard wakes up," Garrus murmurs.

"Doctor Solus says that there is only a thirteen percent chance that Commander Shepard received any permanent damage from Morinth's mind merge." EDI says.

"Jesus EDI," Joker mutters, and Garrus hears the beeping of a couple of buttons before the intercom goes silent.

Permanent damage? Chakwas hadn't mentioned permanent damage to him. What did EDI mean; damage to Shepard's body, to her mind? Were her memories intact?

Shepard moans again, louder, her hands twitching in her sleep. Garrus strokes her cheek, feeling her shift on the bed at his touch. He leans closer, brushing his forehead against hers. "Shepard? You awake?"

She sighs, rolling over onto her back. Her hand moves to her face, so he leans back a little, giving her room to rub her eyes. She groans, touching the dressing on her head where she hit the floor. He waits in silence, watching as her eyes flutter open.

She blinks a few times, squinting even in the soft light, before turning her gaze to look at him. She swallows a couple of times before she manages to croak out, "Morinth?


	23. Chapter 23 Tuchanka

**Tuchanka**

Garrus looks down on Shepard as she stares up at him. He leans closer, squeezing her hand. "Shepard?"

"Morinth?" She croaks again, and he can't help the shivers that run down his spine. EDI said there was a chance that Shepard would be damaged by the asari's mind control. He stares at her in silence for a moment, unsure if he should call Chakwas or not.

"Garrus," her brows pull together into a frown, her voice annoyed. "Did… we get… _Morinth_?"

"Oh," he gapes, unable to help the grin spreading across his face. "Shepard!" He leans forward, dragging her into his arms, squeezing her to his chest. "Yes, yes we got her. Everything's fine."

"Jesus, Vakarian," she coughs into his shoulder. "Can't breathe..."

He relaxes his arms, easing her back against the medical bed. She draws a heavy, shuddering breath and closes her eyes; her chest rises and falls deeply one more time before her breathing evens out, and he thinks she's falling back to sleep when she turns her head and peers at him. Her hand searches the air for his, fingers reaching out.

He takes her hand between his and leans closer; she still smells wrong - weak and tired. "You had me worried Shepard."

"Takes more than a..." she coughs once, frowning, "…horny asari to bring me down."

Garrus shakes his head, stroking her hand. "I don't doubt it. How do you feel?"

"Fuzzy." She rubs her eyes with one hand, screwing up her face. He's constantly amazed by how mobile her skin is, the way it twists and stretches.

"Chakwas _did_ give you a sedative. You've been out at least seven hours."

She stops rubbing her eyes and stares. "What the hell? A _sedative_? What happened?"

"I think Mordin said it was for the mind merge, to let your brain rest. Let me go fetch him..." He's about to stand, but her fingers curl around his wrist, holding him in place.

"One minute Garrus, please."

He settles back down and pulls his chair closer to the bed. "What's wrong?"

"I just..." She sighs and rolls her eyes before blurting out. "I'm sorry I didn't ask you to come. You were right, I was stupid. I'm not invulnerable."

"Nobody expects you to be, Shepard." He leans closer, resting his forehead against hers. "I'm here for you. We all are."

"I won't forget again," she tilts her head to kiss him, and his relief makes the taste of her all the sweeter. "I don't want you claiming to have saved me again. You're still lagging behind..."

He grins, enjoying the teasing light in her eyes. "Again with this? You're just going to have to accept that you owe me, Shepard. You're soft and squishy and need constant rescuing by your heroic turian. What's that human phrase? 'You're a damson in distress'."

"Damson?" She snorts, pushing on his shoulder so he leans back. "You almost won for a moment there, Garrus." He can see her examining his face, her frown coming back. "How long is it since you last slept? You look terrible."

"I don't remember," he avoids her eyes, looking past her. "Couple of days. I couldn't sleep last night."

"After I fell asleep on you? Stupid allergy meds, knocked me out cold." Her hand strokes his cheek, thumb running along his mandible. "Hmmm, maybe I do owe you _something_, the state I left you in."

He purrs, leaning into her touch, watching her with his eyes half closed as she runs her fingers over his cheek, moving to the back of his head. As she brushes the underside of his fringe, he pulls back with a laugh. "Shepard, in the _medbay_?"

"All beds need christening," she gives him a dirty smile, one eyebrow raised. "And unless Chakwas has been gettin' busy in here..."

"Chakwas," Garrus pulls back. "Let me tell her you're awake."

He ignores Shepard's huffing and the frown on her face, peering around the medbay door. There are a few crewmen milling around aimlessly and the furniture has been straightened up. Chakwas, Mordin and Samara are huddled at a table, deep in conversation. Garrus clears his throat and clicks his talons and all three look up at him.

"She's awake," he calls.

The whole atmosphere of the room changes; everyone perks up and the chatter increases. The two doctors head towards the medbay, leaving the justicar behind.

Garrus stands back, watching them fuss over her. Shepard's glaring at him, making it clear he's in her bad books for calling the doctors in, so he crosses his ankles and leans against the wall, knowing his casual stance will wind her up even more.

"I'll get you back," Shepard scowls at him as Chakwas helps her sit up so that Mordin can scan her.

"Promises, promises, commander," Garrus grins.

Chakwas looks at him then, frowning. "I'm going to have to ask you to leave if you keep this up, Officer Vakarian."

Garrus is about to apologise when he hears her whispering to Shepard. "Although I must say, he does look pretty good when he's 'up'."

Shepard's face goes a bright red and she makes a strange, half strangled noise, causing the grey haired doctor to laugh.

"Doctor," Mordin interrupts. "See results. Brain scan abnormalities. See? Similar patterns to asari, not human, not normal. Request Samara review."

Garrus looks at Shepard, who is now frozen in place, her eyes wide as she listens to the salarian. He crosses the room, kneeling in front of her and placing his talons on her thighs. "It'll be fine Shepard; Chakwas said there were no lasting affects."

"Incorrect," Mordin moves closer, waving his thin fingers. "Thirteen percent chance..."

"Doc," Garrus snaps. "Why don't you go fetch your _girlfriend_ and figure this out?"

Mordin stares at him, his wide mouth drooping further downwards before he shuffles to the door.

Shepard is keeping quiet, her face set in her stoic commander mask, but Garrus can detect a slight tremble in her fingers.

Chakwas leans past Garrus to pat her shoulder. "Don't worry commander. I think Mordin's being a mother hen. The brain scans look fine to me."

"Mother hen?" Garrus asks Shepard, who manages a half smile back.

"She's saying there's nothing wrong. Mordin is just fussing." She runs her fingers along his neck, stroking the back of her hand across his throat.

Samara has joined them and is murmuring quietly with the salarian. Garrus watches them, the doctor's body quivering as he explains his concerns to Samara, his black eyes drinking in the justicar's expressions.

Garrus stays kneeling at Shepard's feet, his spurs keeping him still as they watch the doctors examining the data. She strokes his face, he caresses her legs, both of them waiting for an answer.

After five long, tense minutes, Mordin thanks Samara, flustered as she pats his shoulder before leaving. The salarian faces them, a smile lighting up his face. "Good news. Minor anomalies, but nothing dangerous. Samara," Mordin sighs her name," explained normal for asari. Temporary result, mind merge. Recommend check-up tomorrow, but for now, all clear."

"Thank you doctor." Shepard replies, and if Garrus wasn't able to feel the tension releasing where he's touching her, he'd never have known how worried she'd been. "And Garrus, go rest. I'll need you fresh when we get to Tuchanka.

#

Shepard has done her usual circuit of the ship; checking in with the crew, ensuring that everything is running smoothly. Jacob gave her a high five, making her promise to get drunk with him the next time they're at the Citadel. A floor down and Miranda apologised for the incident with Morinth, blaming herself for failing as the XO.

On heading to life support, she found Thane unusually quiet. Not looking up from his clasped hands, he expressed his happiness that she was healthy, but refused to talk further. Grunt told her that he expected nothing else but a full recovery from his battlemaster. Tali hugged her half to death, and then berated her for another ten minutes for not having told her about Garrus. The quarian would probably have said more, but Gabby was standing within hearing range.

Shepard hadn't even bothered speaking to Jack; halfway down the stairs from engineering she'd heard loud groans, and she had _no_ interest in finding out who was crazy enough to go near the biotic bomb.

Now Shepard is standing at her post in CIC, supposedly checking her messages. But she's finding it hard to concentrate. She has a headache the size of the Citadel and it's making her grumpy. Grumpy as a krogan with no breeding rights – no, _grumpier_. Every time anyone sniffs or makes any noise, she wants to throttle them. But she's determined to show her face for a little while at least. The morale of the ship is important and she needs the crew to _see_ that she's fine.

Her messages are annoying her, a mix of spam mail, people she's helped, and that one from Dr Michel she still hasn't deleted. That one never fails to piss her off.

Shepard is rubbing her temples, considering whether she's made enough of an appearance, when EDI pops up. "Yeoman Chambers? You have an appointment with Dr Chakwas now. Note to self: My fracas with Officer Vakarian."

Shepard narrows her eyes, looking at the redhead who is blushing and trying to mute the AI.

"Yeoman Chambers? Care to explain?" Shepard takes a step towards her, watching the younger woman flinch. She sees a slight bruise on the girl's hand as Kelly rubs her eyes.

"It was just... earlier," she sniffs, tears leaking from her eyes. "I was just trying to comfort poor Garrus when I think he... got the wrong idea. I was just hugging him - I didn't know about how sensitive his waist is..." She gulps, trembling.

Shepard looks at the girl, the headache pounding so hard that she feels like she could explode. "Who do you think you're fucking with Chambers?"

"What?" Kelly gasps out before Shepard continues.

"I've known Officer Vakarian for far too long to believe any of your shit." Her vision flickers, blackness creeping in at the edges of her sight. "And I'm sure you know full well why you don't touch a turian's waist uninvited. Report to Tali in engineering on the double; I'll let her know what your schedule is for the next seven days."

Kelly doesn't move, her mouth hanging open in shock.

"_Now_, Yeoman!" Shepard bellows, the satisfaction of hearing Kelly squeak and run off helping alleviate the pain in her skull somewhat.

'I should pair that horny little cow off with Grunt, she can tell me if the whole quad/pair theory is true. If it is, it might actually be enough to keep her quiet.' Shepard thinks. She spends a few minutes tapping out a message to Tali, explaining about Yeoman Chambers 'inappropriate touching', and wondering if Tali could think up a suitable punishment. A couple of minutes later, an expletive riddled reply promises 'the little red headed (untranslatable)' a fun week cleaning out the sanitation tubes by hand. With a grin, Shepard heads to her quarters to rest.

#

Garrus had never heard the phrase 'iron-clad bitch' before Miranda used it earlier, but he's certainly seen this side of Shepard in action, many, many times.

The krogan Overcaptain makes the mistake of being rude to her. _That_ lasts for less than thirty seconds. Then a couple of krogan make some smart remarks about a turian coming to Tuchanka. Shepard points out how this particular turian could rip off their quads before they even saw him move. Garrus stretches his mouth wide, displaying his sharp teeth to their shocked faces.

Garrus can tell that she's still in pain, which is making her harsher than usual. She's squinting at everything and occasionally rubbing her forehead. He asked her how she felt on the shuttle over, but she'd just shrugged and not answered.

She's enjoying taking it out on the people in her way though, spoiling for a fight. A foolish dais guard tries to make her wait. Grunt snarls his disapproval, but the guard shakes his head.

They can see a tall krogan, silver blue armour, green crest and huge round eyes. He's pacing the dais, shouting about traditions and honour, how the Uvenk clan are not being recognised.

As he paces to the right Garrus sees a huge, red crested krogan sitting on a lump of rock, looking bored out of his mind.

The krogan sees him, eyes widening as he recognises the woman beside him. "Shepard? Garrus?"

Shepard smirks at the dais guard, pushing her way past him towards their old crew mate. Garrus follows close behind, admiring how imposing Wrex looks.

Shepard shakes his hand, slapping his armoured shoulder with a clang. "Wrex, my friend, it's good to see you."

"You look well for dead," Wrex inspects her face and then glances at Garrus. "And you're still as ugly as ever Garrus."

"Just seeing if my scars would get me as many woman as yours do," he drawls. "Working out pretty well so far."

Shepard throws him an amused half-smile before she waves a hand at the surrounding area. "Looks like it's all worked out for you."

"The Urdnot clan is unifying Tuchanka." Wrex sounds proud as he places a huge arm casually on Shepard's shoulders and pulls her along to show her the area.

"You are abandoning our traditions." The other krogan, Uvenk, growls.

Garrus laughs as Wrex drops his arm from Shepard and headbutts the other krogan in one swift movement. Krogan are so big, but they're faster than they look. Still, Garrus won more often than not in their sparring matches on the old Normandy. He'd also taken a few cracked plates to show for it.

Garrus looks back to Shepard as she rubs her brow, her smile wide, but fake. It's a look Garrus knows well; usually one she saves for Udina. Her head must be _really_ hurting.

Garrus pushes Grunt forward, watching as all eyes focus on the shorter krogan. He looks so different; small silver crest, large blue eyes, it's no wonder the background chatter drops away to silence.

Shepard explains to Wrex that Grunt is vat bred, and Grunt expresses that he can't control his feelings.

Wrex peers into Grunt's eyes. "Hah, he's becoming a full adult."

"Adolescence?" Garrus rolls his eyes. "Can't we just take him to Omega and buy him a few dances?"

Shepard gives him her best 'shut it or I'll kick your turian ass' expression, and he knows not to push her when she's this angry.

Wrex however, finds it highly amusing and slaps his shoulder. "You always had a thing for those asari dancers." At that, Shepard's glare intensifies, and Garrus is pretty sure the expression means she's not letting him into her cabin later.

"I didn't like the dancers, that was Alenko," Garrus mutters, but no one's listening to him as they arrange for Grunt to be inducted into clan Urdnot.


	24. Chapter 24 Rite of Passage

**Rite of Passage**

Shepard's head throbs in time with Grunt's harsh breathing. The choking dust, ravaged buildings and howling wind only serve to highlight the devastation of Tuchanka. She understands that krogans see their own destruction and rebirth as a way to improve their civilisation, but the waste is just heartbreaking.

Garrus had tried talking to her again, his patience irritating her. She'd been so cold in response, his commander, his superior, but Garrus had just shrugged it off. She'd wanted him to argue, she'd wanted an excuse to rage at him, to get rid of the goddamned _pounding_ behind her eyes. But he'd accepted her rage without letting her vent, and she resented him for it.

The shuttle drops her team off on the outskirts of a ruined city. The technology and architectural skills long forgotten to the current generation.

Grunt leads them into the heart of the ruins, towards a huge mechanism called the Keystone.

The shaman had told Grunt to 'contemplate the Keystone and its trials', so the young krogan examines the device before he activates it.

The ground shakes as the device thumps rhythmically into the dirt, sending out shockwaves that resonate through the crumbling concrete walls. Amongst the dust and debris Garrus moves to a high point that gives him an uninterrupted view of the battlefield, and the widest range for his gun.

"Take cover," the turian shouts, shouldering his sniper rifle. "I smell varren."

Shepard ducks behind a crumbling wall as yipping cries fill the air. A pack of silver-scaled creatures stalk out of the rubble, their flat black eyes hungry as they circle the area. Moving as a pack, the varren co-ordinate their movements, focussing on Grunt as he stands in the open.

Shepard leans over the wall, resting her assault rifle against its top to steady her aim. Her gun sweeps the area, incandescent trails streaking the air from her incendiary bullets, ripping the animals apart.

One of the varren leaps at Grunt, claws scrabbling at his chest as its sharp teeth seek his throat. Grunt snaps his gun into place on his side, before crushing its skull between his fists.

"Guess Grunt doesn't want a pet," Garrus jokes as he picks off one of the injured animals, his shot hitting it square in the face.

The rest of the pack scatter at the gunshots, easy pickings for the three of them. Shepard fires in quick bursts as she drops her targets, each roar of her gun reverberating in her body, tightening the pain further around her brain.

Then the beasts are all dead, the swirling grey ash settling again. Shepard pops her scorching heat sink, watching Garrus do the same in preparation for the next battle. He glances up at her, his mandibles twitching into a smile, but she drops her eyes to the floor, frowning.

Her eyes are annoying her now, too, the light breaking up into strange shapes at the edges of her vision. It reminds her of how Kaidan describe his migraines and she wonders if that's what this debilitating pain is. How did he stand it?

Grunt activates the keystone again, smearing varren blood onto the crumbling stone. This time it slams against the ground faster and harder, the shockwaves louder and deeper as they resonate through the crumbling rock. The device slows and Shepard hears a screech as a giant insect flies above them.

"Crawlers," Garrus warns, steadying his sniper rifle on a wall. "I see three, no, six, at least."

Grunt pulls his shotgun and braces his legs wide, watching the klixen crawling forward, their antenna clacking. The huge insects smell strange, the scent making Shepard gag.

"Watch these; they explode if you use incendiaries. Switch ammo." She calls out, adjusting her weapon.

The insects go down easily, but Garrus keeps calling in targets as more crawl out of the scorched earth. One of them explodes near Grunt, its carapace turning into shrapnel, and Shepard hears his murmur of surprise as thick blood drips down one arm.

"Apparently they can explode without incendiaries." Garrus rumbles.

Three more klixen move to flank Grunt and he starts to back away, pumping his shotgun.

"Watch my six, Garrus," she calls out, closing the distance between the young krogan and herself.

"Always Shepard," Garrus replies.

Shepard sprays bullets into the legs of the advancing insects. Crippled, they screech as Garrus takes them out, one bullet at a time.

Once the last insect is dead, Shepard checks on Grunt. There is blood is flowing down his arm, but the young krogan is flushed with success.

"My first battle injury." Grunt slaps the wound. The blood is already congealing, his krogan regenerative abilities kicking in. "I dream of earning scars like my battlemaster," he indicates her cheeks, "and her mate." He blinks up at Garrus where he's settled.

"Even with scars, you're never going to be as pretty as me," Garrus' voice chimes in over the intercom.

"Hah turian," Grunt growls. "Speak to me when you have a quad."

Shepard cracks a smile at that, even with the fracturing of the light disturbing her vision. "C'mon Grunt, get that keystone going."

The device starts to vibrate again, pounding the ground so hard that she and Grunt stumble off-balance for a moment.

"What the hell is it calling?" Garrus murmurs. "I can see the ground moving; it's big. A worm? No, it's… Oh no… Shepard, _get to cover_."

The ground splits in front of her and it rises up out of the dry earth, all scaly skin, luminous blue eyes, and sharp, deadly mandibles. A thresher maw.

"Oh fuck," she breathes as it rocks backwards, aiming its beaked mouth at her. "Move Grunt. _Now_!"

Shepard hears the acid spit hit the ground behind her, the soft stone crumbling under the substance. She scrabbles to her feet, using an ancient slab of metal to shield herself. She can hear Garrus' breathing; he's panting, upset, and she knows he's doing exactly what she is, remembering the first maw they fought together.

Shepard had been on foot, examining an ancient crashed satellite while Garrus sat nearby in the idling Mako. Trudging back to the vehicle, she'd felt the ground shaking beneath her, knocking her off her feet. Before she'd righted herself, the Mako was roaring towards the towering worm, firing missiles against its thick hide. Even with the heavy artillery, the maw had been a tough fight for the two of them, and Shepard had spent almost a week in the medbay, recovering from the acid burns.

And now they're on foot, no missiles, and this maw is much bigger than the one they faced so long ago.

She holsters her assault rifle and pulls her M-920 Cain from her back, the heavy weapon perfect for an encounter like this.

Shepard peeks out from her cover, watching as the beast glides around the buildings, ripping up the earth as its body tears through the dirt. She can see Garrus' armour piercing shots getting through its skin, but the maw seems unperturbed; enraged by the constant, droning thud of the keystone, it continues to spit acid at them.

It's the thumping that does it, forces her to stand up from behind her cover, exposing her upper body to the thresher maw. It arcs a huge spray of spit at her and she rolls, managing to avoid most of it, but a splash hits her right arm. She shudders as her shields give way, but she lifts her hand, palm facing outwards, and smiles at the monster. She feels almost outside herself, her head humming, her vision blurred, when she hears her own voice whisper. "_Reave_."

She pours her concentration into the palm of her hand, a pulse of _something_ rolling out towards the thresher; a blinding purple sphere rips out a portion of its vitality and siphons it back into herself. She can taste its blood on her tongue, feel its alien strength as the power flows through her veins. Her head is finally free from crippling pain and she flexes her fingers experimentally.

The thresher maw wavers, its body shaking. Bullet holes appear around its eyes and mouth, and a high pitched wail emanates from it.

Shepard gathers her energy and focuses on the maw again, feeling the power shredding its nervous system, rippling through the air to return health to her. The enormous beast slides to the floor, the light fading from its eyes.

"What _was_ that?" Garrus asks over the intercom, but Shepard doesn't reply, still buzzing from the stolen life.

She walks over to the corpse, kicking it with her boot. Her anger has fled along with her headache. Grunt moves to her side, and she hears Garrus scrabbling down the shale to join them. Shepard slaps Grunt on the back, smiling at the proud expression on his face.

She hears the roar of an engine, the dust swirling in the air as a ship lands nearby.

Shepard lowers her rifle, expecting the shaman to step out and greet Grunt now that his test is done. But as the shuttle doors open and Gatatog Uvenk strolls out she raises her gun again five krogans close behind him, their weapons held high.

Uvenk looks at the dead thresher maw, then offers Grunt a place in his clan. He compliments Grunt on his accomplishment, but simultaneously refers to his vat bred origins, inferring that he's unfit for breeding or service on a ship.

"You talk like he's a trophy. You want his power, you don't want _him_." Shepard shifts her hip, moving her gun to cover the krogan clan leader.

Grunt laughs. "I have no interest in his offer, Shepard. He is weak, unfit to be called krogan."

Uvenk takes offence and charges towards them with a roar.

Shepard grins, dropping to a crouch. "Open fire." Her team, poised and ready to fight, react instantly to her command. Grunt charges forward into a barrage of gunfire, his shields holding up as he headbutts Uvenk.

Two of the enemy fall in the first exchange, but four more have huddled behind cover, including the dazed Uvenk. Their attackers have lost the advantage of their ambush; they're not as experienced as Shepard and her crew.

The next moments of the battle are chaos as Shepard's team drive the disorganised krogan back, away from the corpse of the thresher maw and into the open. The crumbling walls echo with the sound of their guns; Shepard's assault rifle, Grunt's shotgun and the steady shots of Garrus' sniper rifle.

Shepard guns down one of the krogans, only for the force of the remaining attackers bullets to knock her off her feet, smashing her backwards into a pillar. Moving onto one knee, she holds her rifle to her shoulder and surveys her team.

Garrus is moving to take out a krogan in cover. He hits the ground and rolls, a line of bullets ripping the air where he'd sniped from moments before. Tiny chunks of stone and dust fly into the air, and his shields shimmer .

"Shields still fifty percent. All good." His familiar voice rumbles through the intercom.

Grunt kills the last bodyguard with a shotgun blast to the face just as Shepard sees Uvenk pop out of cover, a grenade in hand. Without thinking, she rips him apart, draining the life out of him. His body spasms in the air and Garrus takes the opportunity to shoot him right between the eyes.

#

Garrus stands at Shepard's right side as Grunt presents himself to Wrex and the clan shaman.

Wrex is speaking, his deep voice booming across the room. "Many years ago, I took down a thresher maw. Today Grunt and his krantt have also succeeded. Grunt, you are Urdnot." Wrex slaps the young krogan on his shoulder. "Now we need to select a battlemaster for you."

Grunt swells up with pride. "Shepard is my battlemaster. She has no match."

Wrex chuckles, his red eyes staring across the room. "You make a fine choice, krogan. When you return from her service, there are four breeding requests for you Grunt." He lowers his voice, his eyes glittering. "And one for Shepard."

Garrus starts, a low growl rumbling from his chest. Wrex bursts into laughter. "I knew it! It was written all over your face. You sly old varren, Garrus, _irokoizata _with the commander."

Garrus doesn't comment on the translator blip, he's pretty sure he followed Wrex's lewd hand gestures.

Shepard just laughs and shakes Wrex's hand as she leaves, promising to visit soon.

#

Garrus can see that Shepard is feeling better, her eyes are bright, the line is gone from between her brows, and she's got that wry half-smile on her face. As the elevator doors close, she presses up against him, one hand stroking down the back of his fringe.

"I think we agreed that I owe you something, Vakarian," she says, brushing her lips against his throat. "Got time to collect?"

Garrus reaches behind him to hit the button, watching her smile fade as the elevator slides down a floor. "Later. First you have to see Chakwas."

"Jesus, Garrus. I feel _fine_." She looks angry, but she lets him pull her across the crew deck to the medbay.

"You're a _solider_, right? Explain to me what you did to that thresher maw, _then_ tell me that you're fine. It looked like biotics."

Shepard shrugs but doesn't answer, chewing on her lip as he tows her through the doors. Chakwas is talking to Mordin, a datapad on the table in front of them. It's too far to read, but Garrus suspects that they've been talking about the commander.

"Something wrong?" Chakwas stands as Mordin pulls out his omni-tool.

Shepard rolls her eyes, but moves to sit on the bed. She explains what happened in a dull monotone, looking up at the ceiling as the doctors interrupt to ask questions.

Garrus hadn't realised she'd been drawing power from the maw, or Uvenk. He hears Mordin say 'Morinth' and 'asari', the salarian no doubt comparing his readings to the ones from earlier in the day.

On a request from Mordin, Shepard raises her hand, palm flat to the wall. A ball of purple biotic power ripples out from her fingers, shimmering against the inert metal before dissipating.

Both doctors are silent for a moment, then the barrage of questions begins again. Garrus hears enough to get the gist of it. Somehow Shepard's brief mental connection with the Ardat-Yakshihas left a weak imprint of Morinth's ability on her mind.

Mordin thinks that the headache was her brain trying to accommodate the radical changes, but that she's not a biotic. Chakwas isn't sure about either of those conclusions and wants to run more tests. Both doctors agree that she needs to stay overnight for observation.

Garrus accompanies Shepard to her room after she promises them she'll be right back. She's lost her playful teasing, silent as she rests her head on his shoulder. As soon as they're inside, she sheds her armour, letting it fall to the floor as she walks to the bathroom. An instant later, he hears the shower water running.

Garrus feels out of place, unsure of how she's feeling, so he gathers her armour and sits on the bed, cleaning it like he's done once before. He has more of an idea about her body shape now. Her chest piece no longer looks alien, the curved plates that sit over her hips now look sexy, rather than odd. He's still contemplating a boot when the bathroom door opens.

Shepard is standing naked in the doorway, steam billowing out around her damp, flushed body. She rests one arm on the frame and smiles at him. He's fascinated with how her chest shifts as her arms move. Humans…their skin is so _mobile_; things bounce and sway and look so… interesting.

She smiles at him, a slow, almost predatory smile that reminds him of a certain scout on one of his old ships… but the memory drifts away as Shepard stands in front of him. There are so many different tones on her body; her face a few shades darker than her breasts, her nipples, as she calls them, a different colour again. Her stomach is paler still, the muscles rippling as she leans over him.

She kisses him, lips pressing insistently against his hard mouth, her tongue flickering across his lips. He closes his eyes, pulling her cool body closer as he opens his mouth, tasting her. She spends a few minutes kissing him, teasing him, before he feels her grab a fringe in either hand, squeezing and stroking, touching him intimately. His talons tighten, digging into her hips as she keeps kissing and caressing. He loves how soft her skin is, how she moans as he explores down her towards her rear.

He feels his plates move and shifts his hips to relieve the pressure in his armour. Her lips curve against his mouth as her hands continue to tease him for a few more seconds.

Then she leans back, one eyebrow raised. "Garrus, I know you want me. I'm sure you know I need you too…" She strokes one hand along his fringe again before sighing.

She straightens up and stares at him, hands on hips, her naked body an exquisite picture. "So, I want you to remember this _exact_ moment next time I invite you to my room and you decide to take me to medbay instead. Okay? You get frustrated, I get a night being prodded by two bored doctors." She turns to open her wardrobe, rifling through the hanging clothes.

"Shepard…" Garrus holds his mandibles tight as he stands, shifting his weight, trying to get more comfortable in his tight metal armour. "I was only worried…"

She smiles as she pulls on a navy jumpsuit. "I know. That's why I'm giving you a raincheck for tomorrow." She kisses his forehead as she zips up the outfit. "I told you I owe you."

"I promise you, I _will _be collecting on that," he growls, grabbing for her.

Shepard dances out of his range, heading towards the doors. "Stay here tonight, if you want. I don't think you want to come with me to the medbay in your current… ah… condition." Her eyes drop to his crotch, her lips twitching into a smile.

"Thanks. I'll stay here then and try not to make a mess."

And she's out the door, raucous laughter filling the air as he shouts after her. "I didn't mean it like _that_!"

#

A whispered conversation wakes Shepard up, her hand automatically dropping to her waist for her gun. But there's no weapon and it takes her a second to recognise the medbay. Sloppy; could get her killed.

She rubs her head. The pain is completely gone now, the only remnants of the strange feeling a slight hum along her spine. She can rip the health out of anything living now, drawing upon it to heal herself. It's a strange feeling, but powerful, too.

She hears more whispering and slithers off the bed, padding across the floor in her bare feet to investigate.

"Scale-itch infection." Shepard recognises Mordin's voice, but she's not sure who he's talking to. They're just outside the medbay doors and she can't get any closer without triggering them to open.

"Detected during decontamination." The salarian doctor continues to the unseen figure. "Only carried by varren."

Shepard hears a little sigh and she thinks she might recognise who it is when Mordin continues reprimanding the unseen figure. He clears his throat, then whispers. "_Unpleasant_."

"But, Urz has such _beautiful_ stripes. And he's such a licky boy," the 'scale-itch' infected person whines. Shepard rolls her eyes. Who else? There could only be one person on the Normandy who'd catch _that_ infection.

'Better remember to warn Tali to avoid all physical contact with her,' Shepard thinks as she walks away and settles back onto her bed. 'And maybe keep her confined to her quarters when she's off-duty. I hate to think how fast _she_ could spread _that_ through the crew.'


	25. Chapter 25 Old Blood

**Old Blood**

Garrus is beside her when she wakes, dozing in a chair next to the medical bed. He's leaning back, his chin resting on his cowl, long, slender legs stretched out in front of him. She rolls on her side, resting her head on one hand as she thinks.

She's surprised at how attractive she finds him, this alien creature sleeping beside her bed. Metallic exoskeleton, talons for fingers, sharp teeth, spines, spurs. She knows why some Cerberus members might find her sick - superficially their attraction could seem abnormal. But then, those Cerberus members have never spoken to Garrus, spent time with him, trusted him with their lives. He's the best marksman she knows; he's kind to her, and unrelenting to their enemies. They always say that it's what's on the inside that's important, right? Never judge a book by its cover.

The medbay doors open and Chakwas bustles inside, stopping as she sees the sleeping turian. The doctor looks at Shepard and frowns. "I hope you two haven't been _up_ to anything in here. You needed your rest."

Shepard rolls her eyes, sitting up and running her fingers through her sleep-tangled hair. "You do remember that I outrank you?" She warns the doctor.

"And I hold the keys to your freedom." Chakwas waves a datapad before examining the results. "Although, from your overnight data, it looks like we have no reason to keep you. Whatever cybernetics Cerberus built you with, they do a good job."

Shepard glances down at her torso. She tries not to think about what's inside her, that she's no longer a human, not really. Smoothing her fingers along her belly, she thinks about the reports she saw on the Project Lazarus station. Charred remains, that's what the report had said. The _thing_ in the photos had been unrecognisable.

Shepard comes back to herself, noticing that Garrus is awake and listening, his blue eyes fixed on her. Straightening up, she nods to Chakwas. "Fit for duty? That's good, thanks, doc. I want to speak to Wrex before we leave this dust pile."

She jumps off the bed and is heading for the doors when they slide open to reveal Mordin, quivering as he stands and stares.

"Shepard, require immediate assistance. STG associate kidnapped. On Tuchanka. Must help."

#

Garrus is driving a sturdy truck that's been built to navigate the nuclear ravaged world. As he navigates through the ancient ruins, huge tyres crunching over bleached bones, he thinks about the day's work.

The mission is a success, the student freed and the data removed from krogan hands. But with Shepard and Mordin sitting quietly in the back of the vehicle; you'd never know that they should both be happy at the outcome.

Garrus figures there was something more to this than just helping Mordin's old associate. There were lots of pauses and knowing looks between the salarian and their commander, giving Garrus the impression that Mordin was somehow involved in the creation of the genophage, back in the day.

The genophage is something Garrus is uncomfortable with, that the salarians and turians had done something like that to the krogans. He can't see the justice in the action, that the krogan were rewarded for saving the galaxy from the rachni by being neutered.

But it's like politics; another thing Garrus thinks is a waste of time. Shepard can't just save the Galaxy by fighting; it seems that she's expected to understand about affairs of state and complex moral choices as well.

Shepard. Thinking about her reminds him of the battlefield today. Her new ability, 'reave' Mordin called it, caused havoc against the Weyrloc clan. It seems to cut through natural regenerative abilities, allowing the krogan to be picked apart. She'd throw a purple biotic ball, Garrus would follow up with a headshot, and their target would wind up an _ex_-krogan. When the krogan leader tried to kill her, she'd just raised her palm, absorbing his strength into herself.

Every time she used it her body glowed a faint purple colour, like an avenging spirit from the tales he'd heard as a child. It could only happen to Shepard. Morinth, a brutal killer for hundreds of years, ended up strengthening her, giving her a new weapon.

Garrus sees the krogan camp looming ahead, and he steers the truck towards the garage. At least the salarian has quieted down now. Mordin had twitched and fidgeted constantly until they'd met Maelon. Then, when it turned out the guilt riddled student was working _voluntarily_ to fix the genophage, Mordin had lost it, drawing his pistol on his old student.

As she'd done for him, Shepard had also interrupted Mordin. She'd talked him down from a decision taken in the heat of the moment. Mordin had been angry, but he'd sped through his decisions and emotions, narrating his thoughts in his usual staccato manner. A few seconds, a few conclusions, and he had lowered his gun, letting his former colleage go.

And speaking of moral choices, the cure for the genophage had sat in front of them, the data ready to be purged - or used. Mordin had wavered between destroying it and keeping it, until Shepard pointed out that keeping it gave them options, whereas destroying it was final.

Garrus remembers the look on the salarian's face, his black eyes never more expressive than when he took a copy of the research to study. That's when he guessed that Mordin feels guilty for what was done to the krogans.

Garrus parks the truck, cutting off the engine as he hears the others disembarking from the rear. He jumps down, following Shepard as she heads towards the shuttle.

As they're leaving, Wrex holds out a hand, pulling Garrus to one side. "So, you and the commander…"

"I'm not telling you _anything_, Wrex." Garrus watches her as she heads out the exit tunnel. She seems unaware of the conversation happening behind her, but he's not chancing it. Not after the whole medbay/raincheck thing. He watches until she's well out of earshot.

Wrex grabs a shoulder and shakes him. "Garrus! All I wanted to know was if you'd _e__cchirunka_ Shepard yet." Once again, the failure in translation is more than made up for by Wrex's enthusiastic and graphic hand movements.

Garrus leans closer, his nose inches from Wrex's face. "Five. Times. A. Day."

Wrex is still cheering as Garrus exits to the shuttle, a huge grin on his face.

#

Shepard leans on the counter and watches Mordin as he works. Samara is meditating in the corner of the room and seems to be distracting the salarian by her very presence.

"Regrettable incident. Still, sorted now. Plus have genophage data if needed." The doctor stares at her, unblinking, then continues mixing the strange-coloured liquids.

"Is it close to a cure?" she asks. Her gaze keeps sliding over to the beautiful asari floating in the corner of the room, but Mordin doesn't notice, or is ignoring her hints.

"Don't know. Haven't looked. Collectors main focus. Finish mission, then perhaps." Mordin pauses, looking down at his hands. "After, can revisit original idea. Check data. Stop unnecessary deaths."

"And you're happy with that?"

"Yes," the salarian glances across at the justicar, his thin lips trembling. "Spoken to, ah, friend. Understand now. Gone through stages of regret, anger, guilt. Now reconciled. Thank you Shepard."

Excusing herself, Shepard heads to the armoury, looking for Jacob, but the room stands empty. She wanders down to the cockpit and hangs with Joker for a while, listening as he and EDI bicker; "like an old married couple," Shepard jokes.

"Yeah, a couple without any of the 'benefits'," Joker sighs at the blue glowing sphere.

Shepard claps the back of his chair and leans closer. "Tough luck soldier. And note, I _did_ turn down your requisition for that chair upgrade. I don't see any combat reason for the chair to need to vibrate."

Joker splutters as Shepard walks back to CIC with a wry grin on her face.

Taking the elevator down a floor, Shepard heads to Miranda's room. The automated door hisses open and she strides through, expecting to see her XO at her usual station. Instead, she gets an eyeful - more of Jacob's naked ass than she ever wanted to see. And what _is_ Miranda doing…? Good grief.

Shepard backs away quickly, utterly relived that the two Cerberus members haven't heard her come in. The hazards of mixing offices and bedrooms… Shepard reminds herself to _lock_ her door later.

She shakes her head as she crosses the deck towards life support. What is it with everyone? Mordin cooing over Samara, now Miranda and Jacob. Stress makes people do crazy things, Shepard thinks back to the night before Ilos. Kaidan hadn't been the only one looking for company; Shepard had seen other crew members pairing off, disappearing into dark corners to remind themselves that they were still alive.

Thane is the opposite of the others she's seen; calm, collected and seemingly contented. He's more talkative today, something about confusion and mixed messages and that he's still in love with his wife, really. Shepard isn't quite sure what's prompted his confession, but she's happy he's talking again. She listens as he mentions a message from Kolyat, his dual lids flicking as he recites from memory in a strange monotone.

Heading to see Zaeed, she smells his cigar before she even enters his room. The mercenary is slouched in a chair, his feet on the desk, swigging whiskey from a bottle. He regales her with convoluted stories of fights, romances and brutal killings, peppered with spicy language and raucous laughter. She enjoys the chat, warming to the grizzled veteran as he shares his alcohol. Expensive, she notes, and tasty. But when Zaeed jokes about Grunt hitting puberty and needing to 'go get some' she decides that it's time to go.

Her head feels pleasantly light and there is a warm glow in her belly from the alcohol as she walks down to the lower engineering deck. Jack is slumped on her cot, still working her way through the Cerberus files Shepard handed over when the young biotic joined up.

Shepard leans on the railings, talking about nothing, letting Jack get whatever issues she has off her chest. Unusually for the girl, she is happy, talking about wanting to stop at a bar for some booze, saying that a big blowout before the final mission might be good. Shepard has to agree and says she'll factor in a party somehow.

Heading back upstairs, she waves at Donnelly and Gabby, both arguing over some incomprehensible part or other, before she wanders over to her friend, Tali.

The quarian surprises her, gushing about how hard Kelly is working, cleaning the sanitation system, learning the ropes of running the Normandy's self-maintenance routine. All with a seemingly fearless approach to getting covered in the vilest of filth and grease. Unexpected.

Tali is also confused as to why Shepard warned her about Kelly. The quarian shrugs, her faceplate glinting with reflected light. The disease Chambers picked up when the varren licked her face has to be passed on by bodily fluids, so everything should be fine.

Shepard blinks at that, suddenly conscious of how she'd assumed something entirely different – something much more…_inappropriate_. What did it say about her mind?

As Tali talks, Chambers pops out of a duct, oil all over her face and some kind of wrench in one hand. She sees Shepard and blanches, dropping the wrench and standing to attention. Her skin goes pale under the black grease.

"At ease Yeoman. It seems you've made quite an impression on Miss vas Neema." Shepard is never one to hold unnecessary grudges with her crew. "Keep it up and I'll consider lifting the restriction on your off-duty movements."

The Yeoman beams, her naturally exuberant nature bursting out again. "I love it down here; there's so much to _do_. And I feel like I'm really helping, not just irritating people by making them talk when they don't want to." Her smile falters for a moment as she thinks about this, before coming back with a vengeance as she giggles. "And Tali and I can gossip about clothes, and shopping, and boys..."

Tali's face is hidden behind her mask, but Shepard can imagine the blush on her cheeks at this confession.

"Boys _plural_?" Shepard nudges her friend in the ribs. "Or just a certain hottie known as Kal'Reegar?"

"Keelah, Shepard, you told her his name!" Tali throws her three fingered hands into the air.

Kelly squeals and Shepard winks at her, drawling as she continues. "I've seen him. All over Tali like a rash. Muscles on top of his muscles. Suit tighter than Miranda's, and he has a very big… gun."

Tali puts her hands up to her faceplate, her speakers emitting a groan.

"Oh, Tali, now I _do_ want to know more." Kelly claps her hands. "What's he like? Where did you meet? Have you been on a date yet?" She lowers her voice. "Is he a good _kisser_?"

Shaking her head at their banter, Shepard laughs and heads back to the elevator. With a soft hum, it carries her to the top floor. She's stretching as her bedroom door opens, easing the kink out of her shoulder when she spots Garrus sitting on the edge of her bed. He's dressed in civilian clothes with an open bottle of wine next to him.

"Raincheck?" He rumbles.

* * *

_Okay, for those of you disgusted by Kelly and the scale-itch, really, you should be ashamed of yourselves now*… I saw her bending down to pet him and him licking her face and mouth, the way an overfriendly dog might – a licky dog! _

_Just because Shepard – and some of you filthy minded lot - drew worse conclusions – tut tut. Poor misunderstood Yeoman Chambers._

_*okay, okay I did lead you on a little bit. I'm a bad person :D But at least most of you found it funny._


	26. Chapter 26 Shower

**Shower**

Garrus holds up two glasses and says, "Wine? It's special, safe for humans and turians."

Shepard is paused in the doorway, one hand on her hip, her head cocked to one side. "Sure, why not?"

He fills two glasses with the pale liquid. Putting the bottle next to the bed, he looks up as Shepard sits next to him. He hands her a glass, sliding his arm around her shoulders. She takes the glass and clinks it against his before settling back against his shoulder.

"How did your rounds go?" Garrus sips his drink. It's sweet, the flavour bursting across his tongue and the alcohol warming his throat.

"Good," Shepard takes a sip and pulls a face. "Mmm very dry, but tasty. No, it was worth going out. I feel disconnected unless I check in with everyone regularly."

Garrus murmurs his agreement. "Much bigger crew than the last ship. I don't know how you can even remember half of their names."

She takes a long draw of her wine and sighs. "I don't know myself, half the time. But it's worth it. I don't hear any of the turian lover jokes any more, no snide comments or askance looks. They like me, respect you. It's good."

She looks up at him and he can see her soft eyelashes framing her eyes. Human fetish; no. Hair fetish; maybe. Or perhaps just a Shepard fetish.

Garrus nuzzles the top of her head, breathing in her scent. Dust, sweat, and blood, with a trace of flowers. Still sexy as hell. "For a bunch of humanity first believers, they're not that bad." He agrees.

"I think seeing you guys laying your lives on the line again and again has proven that all our species working together is key." Shepard takes another gulp of her drink and holds up her empty glass.

Garrus grabs the wine bottle, shaking his head. "Seriously, when did you become such a… what's that word… Tush?"

He feels her body shaking with laughter against his side. "It's _lush_." She strokes his leg with one hand. "Not that you can talk, bringing wine to a lady's bedroom."

He refills both of their glasses and places the now empty bottle on the floor. "I remember that lady offering me a _raincheck_. I thought I should contribute something to the evening."

She guzzles her wine in one gulp before answering. "Good to know you understand the meaning, at least."

"I looked it up on the extranet in the end. I asked Joker first, but he refused to explain until I told him was it was _for_. I said we'd got a sparring match planned - he was most disappointed."

"Oh Garrus, you really are perfect," she laughs, nudging him in the ribs.

"About time you admitted it," he grins, draining his wine and dropping his glass to the floor.

She mock glares at him, lowering her empty glass. "In your dreams, Vakarian. A perfect man wouldn't have denied me last night…"

He growls, swivelling his body to push her backwards onto the bed. Bracing his arms, he hovers above her, his nose almost touching hers, his legs pushing hers apart so that he can settle between them.

"I'm denying you _nothing_." He nuzzles her cheek, his mandibles moving across her soft skin to her throat. "Tonight, you can have anything you want." She sighs as he licks along her jaw, running his tongue down her throat to the dip where it meets her chest. "Just tell me what it is."

He pulls his head back to look at her. She's flushed, her mouth open as she lies beneath him breathing heavily.

"You." She lifts a hand to touch his cheek, her fingers running back to caress his fringe. "I want _you_."

Garrus lowers his face to her throat again, one hand pulling down the zip on her jumpsuit as he trails his hard lips along her chest. Pushing the fabric aside, he runs his tongue along a breast, circling her nipple. She moans, her back arching upwards towards him. He bites gently, teasing her other breast with his hand.

Shepard's fingers run along both sides of his face, reaching up to take his fringe in her hands. He groans against her skin as she squeezes, unable to stop his hips flexing against her.

"Shepard, wait…" He's breathless thanks to the pressure on his fringe, but she stills her hands at his voice.

She looks nervous, biting her lip, so he rushes to explain. "Can we have a shower? I think the water might help with my plates. Steam will soften my skin, make it less likely to… well, chafe."

"Good idea," she nods, placing a damp kiss on his lips.

He stands and pulls her up off the bed. She holds onto his hand, dragging him behind her up the few stairs to her bathroom.

She shrugs out of her jumpsuit and kicks it into the corner. The muscles of her rear shift as she does it, and he can feel his body responding to her. The sight of her pale skin, gleaming in the bright artificial light, sends shivers through his body.

He sheds his clothes as the hot water sends steam billowing across the small room. With one stride, he's close behind her, running his hard lips along the back of her neck. He pushes her gently forward into the stream of water, one arm around her waist as he presses himself against her. He kisses her as best he can, his mandibles stroking, his tongue lapping at her skin. She leans back into his touch, her eyes closed.

The water feels wonderful, hot, pouring like rain over them both, the sound musical to his ears. It fascinates him as it runs down her skin. On his own plates it soaks in, lending them a dull sheen as they soften. But her skin, it's waterproof, the liquid turning into rivulets that pour down her back. He kisses along the trails, butterfly soft touches of his mouth that make her mewl.

With his right hand, he teases a breast, his left dipping lower, sliding to that fascinating patch of hair between her legs. She arches her back; her head bent forward, damp hair obscuring her face. She smells like herself now, that natural musk he adores.

"Please," Shepard murmurs, bracing her arms against the wall as he rubs against her. He continues to brush his lips along her skin, lapping at the water and purring as he teases her with his hands, rolling her nipple between the blunted talons of one, the other circling the bundle of nerves that make her go weak.

"What was that about a perfect man?" He growls in her ear, increasing the pressure on his fingertips. "Remind me Shepard."

"I said…" She manages to gasp out as he bites her gently on the shoulder. "I said that you, Garrus, are perfect for me."

"Good to hear." He nuzzles her neck, his fingers moving faster, feeling her body shivering against his.

He loves the sounds she makes, so different from her usual no-nonsense voice; the gasps and moans that punctuate her heavy breathing, the way she pants his name. As he traces lazy circles along her neck and shoulders with his tongue, he feels her grind her hips into his hand, her whole body tensing for a few seconds before she trembles against him, calling out his name with a hoarse cry.

He slides his hand back up to her waist, holding her upright, supporting her as she recovers. Hot water is still pouring over them and he can't resist stroking her wet hair, combing his talons through the strands. He nuzzles her neck and she sighs, twisting in his embrace.

He loosens his hold and she turns to face him, her skin flushed. She looks so beautiful, relaxed, satisfied and happy, a rare expression for her. With a growl, he presses his body against hers, forcing her against the wall. Tilting her chin up she kisses him, her tongue teasing his as her slick flesh is pressed against his own softened plates.

Spray fills the air, the heat in contrast to her cool skin as she wraps her arms around his neck.

With her back braced against the wall, Garrus reaches down and runs his hands under her rear, lifting her hips upwards. Shepard slides her legs around his hips as he holds her against him. He flexes his fingers, talons caressing her as she positions herself just above him. She reaches down and takes him in her hand as she guides him into place.

He doesn't speak, just holding her gaze as he presses himself slowly into her. He can hear her breath catching in her throat as he pushes himself deeper inside, inch by inch. Her eyes are wide, locked on his own as he slips finally, fully inside her. They're both so slick, his heat and her cooler temperature, and she's so tight around him he can barely breathe.

She bites her lip, a low moan escaping her as he moves his hips for the first time. He's cautious in his movements, not wanting to hurt her. Part of his brain is controlling his natural desire for speed and violence, but the sensations are making it hard to keep hold of those thoughts.

She sobs his name, her eyes begging him to continue, so he pulls out fully before plunging into her again. He paces himself, long, slow strokes that make her gasp every time he pauses deep inside her.

She's so cool, so much softer than any turian female, and the way she rocks her hips to meet him… He groans, leaning forward to brush his forehead against hers, and she tilts her head forward, kissing his cheek, running her tongue along one mandible. His control slips and he increases the pace, sensitive to everything; the water hitting his skin, the feel of her tight around him, her tongue, her hands, her scent and taste.

He's been with plenty of women, turians, but it's never felt like this. Sex before had been quick, uncaring. He'd never have wanted to watch a woman's eyes as he'd entered her, never cared about prolonging the act, driving their mutual pleasure higher. Here, now, this is _Shepard_, crying out his name as her hands caress his body, moving over his shoulder, nimble fingers stroking and teasing. He's vaguely aware that this isn't just sex, it's something deeper, more important, unique.

A familiar sensation begins to pool in his stomach, and he slows his pace, rumbling as she makes a frustrated noise. He leans his head back, taking in her dilated pupils, her parted lips. She looks dazed, her eyes unfocused as he moves within her.

She kisses him, breathlessly licking and whimpering as she reaches up to stroke his fringe with one hand, squeezing it in time with the movement of their hips.

That tips him over the edge and he bites hard into her shoulder, his hips thrusting fiercely against her, his talons digging into her soft flesh. He's conscious of her throwing her head back against the wall, her sweat mingling with the shower water, her eyes closed as the spray pours over them.

The rhythm of his movements quickens, and he's unable to stop the roar building in his chest, barely muffled by the flesh between his teeth. Her body shakes again, her limbs trembling and her internal muscles squeezing him, driving him over the edge.

A violent shudder runs through his limbs and he bites down as his desire peaks, trembling deep inside her. Waves of pure pleasure crash over him, and his mind goes blank as he drowns in the sensation of her, Shepard, kissing him, squeezing him, moaning his name as their hips slow their dance.

He can't think, holding her as she pants into his ear, the aftershocks still running through his body. His jaw slackens and he releases her shoulder from between his teeth. It's riddled with tiny holes and he almost comments on it, but he can see from the smile plastered across her face that she doesn't care in the slightest.

He presses his forehead against her neck, his legs weak as he uses the wall to keep them both upright. Shepard is collapsed against his chest, her heart fluttering faster than he's ever felt it before. He leans his head back and catches her eyes.

She smiles at him, her face serene, one trembling hand reaching up to cup his cheek. "Perfect."

He purrs, leaning into her touch. "For me, too."

His body is still trembling, the months of strain and stress gone in an instant. He lowers her to the floor gently, letting the water wash over them as they stand together, their breathing slowing.

She runs a hand along his stomach, tracing the plates, testing them against her thumb. "Softer. Just a touch."

He turns the shower off, and pulls her into his arms. She mumbles against his chest, but curls into his embrace. As he's about to exit the bathroom, she snakes out an arm and grabs a couple of towels. He carries her down to the bed, where she slithers out of his hold and lays the towels over the mattress.

He waits for her to curl up on the bed, her damp hair fanned out onto the pillow, then he wraps himself around her, arm pulled tight around her chest. He nuzzles the back of her neck as her eyes drift closed.

They lie together, wrapped in each other's arms as they relax, drifting off to sleep. He thinks about when they'd first kissed. He'd worried about how they'd work together, if they could even mate, never mind attain pleasure. It seems ludicrous now. They'd fitted together naturally, knowing how to move together, how to hold each other. Shepard only had a couple of scrapes on the underside of her thighs from his hips, and a bite on her shoulder. Less injuries than one of their usual 'peaceful' missions.

"Four more," he murmurs to himself as he tastes her skin.

"Mmm?" Her response is sleepy.

"Nothing important, just a promise to Wrex." He laughs softly as he rests his head on the stack of pillows. "Rest. You need to get your strength back."


	27. Chapter 27 Treason

**Treason**

Her back hurts, there are scrapes and cuts all over her legs and he's bitten her in at least five different places. Her muscles ache and she's pretty sure that there's a graze on her cheek from his plates. But she's never felt better.

He's curled up asleep behind her, pressed against her back, one arm draped around her waist. They've hardly slept, only catching a few catnapped hours between wonderful, heart-stopping sex. He's been so thoughtful, always aware of how delicate she is, taking his time to ensure that she was fully sated before even considering his own needs.

Shepard is no stranger to sex. An attractive woman in the military, at first she'd had men chasing her for her looks, not one interested in the woman underneath. Then, as she climbed the ranks, it was that mix of beauty and power that drew them. They wanted to sleep with the celebrity, a notch in their bed posts to brag to their friends.

Kaidan, as much as he'd loved her, had been in awe of her legend - she realises that now. He knew _of_ her more than he knew her. If she'd given him an order in the bedroom, he'd still have obeyed. And it wasn't even his fault. She'd kept him at arms length, never letting him close, never trusting him fully.

When she'd met Garrus, he'd looked up to her as a mentor and teacher. Now he treats her as an equal, and it feels _great_. The trust between them has never been more evident than last night. What could have been a disaster had become the best night of her life.

It is different with Garrus; she can tell that there's something different to the other lovers she's known. She strokes his hand, loving the feel of his hard skin, the talons that he'd blunted just for her.

His breath huffs warmly against the back of her neck and she smiles. Sometime last night, after a particularly strenuous _bout_, they'd lain together on the floor, panting. Garrus had told her about his life; his father, joining the military and C-Sec. He'd never talked for so long uninterrupted before and she'd listened in silence, enjoying every word. It had been sometime during that conversation that she'd realised this, whatever this is, is truly important to her. She won't let _anyone_, not Cerberus, not the Alliance, stand in their way.

Her omni-tool blips, distracting her from her memories. It glows a dull orange, not turning off, the sign of an urgent message. She checks; three from Miranda, one marked 'water supplies low,' which makes her flush as she recalls her part in depleting those supplies. Then there's one from Tali - the one marked urgent.

She scans the message, her eyes widening. With a curse, she slithers out from underneath Garrus' arm and heads to the shower. "At least the crisis waited until the morning for a change," she mutters.

There's a rumble behind her as Garrus wakes up, and she pauses at the top of the stairs to look back at him. He's propping his head up on one hand, his eyes sleepy as he looks at her. "Room for one more in the shower, Shepard?"

#

The shuttle lands on the Rayya, Tali's ship, one of the fifty thousand vessels in the migrant fleet. Seventeen million quarians, almost their whole race, huddled together at the edges of space.

And Tali is about to be exiled from them – forever. Accused of treason, she has been ordered to attend a trial to prove her innocence.

The Rayya's Captain greets them. Garrus notices that he presses Tali's hand for longer than is considered polite, trying in his own way to show that her Captain supports her.

Garrus trails behind Shepard and Tali, unsure how he can help, but wanting to provide moral support for his friend. He stays back as Tali is led down to the garden plaza by Auntie Raan, an Admiral on the board and the moderator for the trial. He hears her explain that Tali has been classed as Vas Normandy, that Shepard is her captain now. He doesn't understand all of the implications, but he can hear the tears in Tali's voice as she asks the commander to help her.

Tali is accused of sending 'live' geth parts back to the Migrant Fleet, compromising the security of one of its science ships.

Garrus watches the crowd as the Admirals bicker. There are many other quarians here, some sitting at the edges, others milling around in groups, whispering amongst themselves. He supposes that Tali is probably well known among her people, the way he is; they both served on an Alliance ship, and they both helped defeat Saren.

"No, _father_!" Tali's scream pulls him back to the scene at the front of the room, where Shepard has a hand on the quarian's shoulder and is glaring at the four admirals who are judging her friend.

"We'll re-take the Alarei. Let's worry about this trial later; we need to rescue any survivors," Shepard states.

The admirals agree and say that they'll prepare a shuttle to take them. Garrus places a hand on Shepard's shoulder as she heads past him. She turns and glares, her anger at the proceedings evident on her face. But as she focuses on him, she lets out a deep breath and relaxes.

As they wait, Tali spots an old friend, Kal'Reegar, in the crowd, and runs over to his side. Garrus is about to follow her, but Shepard grabs his wrist and shakes her head. "Give her a few minutes. Kal is special to her."

Garrus looks back at the quarian male, assessing his suitability for his friend. Kal'Reegar is tall and muscular, his armour unusual for a quarian in that it's a full set of heavy armour. There are no patches or repair marks, and he has a couple of impressive guns strapped to his back. Kal is bending his head as he talks to Tali, one hand resting on her shoulder. "He looks like he's on her side."

"He should be," Shepard is watching the quarian couple as well. "Tali says they grew quite close on Haelstrom."

"He better treat her right, or he'll have me to answer to," Garrus growls.

Shepard laughs, nudging him in the side with her armoured elbow. "Aren't you the overprotective big brother. I'd say that she's old enough to pick her own men."

Garrus rumbles his assent. He can't see their faces, due to their envirosuits, but Tali's body language shows her trust for the muscular male.

A quarian approaches Shepard and Garrus, bobbing low as he tells them that the shuttle is ready to take them to the Alarei.

Shepard calls Tali, and Garrus takes up the rear as they head out. He stays quiet as the automated shuttle heads for the geth infested ship. Tali is talking to Shepard, explaining that Kal thinks this trial isn't even about her; Admiral Gerrel wants to go to war with the geth, Koris wants to make peace, and Xen wants to regain control of them.

Politics. Garrus shakes his head. Once again political affairs are getting in their way. Just for once, he'd like to arrive on a planet and not have someone asking for help with their warring clans, arguing leaders or missing colonists.

They are attacked by geth as soon as they board the quarian vessel. They look hastily assembled, bits hanging loose and strange quarian writing etched along the bulky plating. As Garrus hunkers down to snipe, he realises that the ship around them is being stripped to build more synthetics.

Garrus and Tali combine their technical skills, and the newly-built geth don't stand a chance. Tali is quiet as she examines the room, ignoring the quarian corpses in the corner as she tries to extract information from the Alarei's computer as to what has happened.

"I can't tell if this is because of something I did, a part I sent to my father that was active, or something else. Was I sloppy? Or did my father do this?"

Shepard moves to her friend's side and comforts her, talking about exploring further, looking for more evidence. As they head deeper into the ship, there are more signs of stripped equipment, more signs of half-built geth.

Another console tells the story of the Alarei. Tali's father and the other scientists had been conducting experiments with geth programming, trying to disrupt them, trying to regain control of them. To do this, they'd been using the inert parts Tali sent to build active geth.

"You need to let go of reclaiming your homeworld." Shepard murmurs.

There's a hiss of annoyance from Tali as she rounds on Shepard, her finger pointing angrily. "My _home_ is one hull breech from extinction; a _kiss_ can put me in hospital. Every time you smell a flower, enjoy the breeze on your face; remember that it's something I can't do."

Shepard shrugs, and Garrus notices that her commander mask is firmly in place as she surveys the dead quarian scientists. "So find another world to colonise."

"No Shepard." Tali disagrees. "Our own world may take sixty years to for us to acclimatise to. A new world over six hundred. If people alive today want to see a sunset without a faceplate, it must be _our_ homeworld."

Deeper into the ship, after clearing out yet more half-built geth, Garrus hears a scream and Tali rushes to a quarian on the floor. He can hear her crying, sobbing as she kneels next to the corpse.

"Not like this father, not like this," she keens.

Shepard looks at Garrus, her own hard mask cracking at the pain in their friend's voice. "He was trying to help you the only way he knew how."

Tali nods, sniffing, and Garrus wonders how horrible it must be, trapped inside that suit, tears rolling down her face and she can't even wipe them. He crouches beside her and places a taloned hand on her shoulder. "Tali, he would know you'd come for him. Would he have left you a message?"

Tali nods, her hands tapping at her father's omni-tool. A voice message plays, her father's last words. Garrus can hear Tali's quiet sobs as he apologises for failing her, that he will never build her the home he promised on their planet. She gets angry at that, shouting at her dead father, telling him how stupid he was to not talk to her while he was alive. That bringing geth online wasn't the way to win the war.

Garrus moves away, letting Shepard and Tali talk. It's just an illusion of privacy, as he can hear their voices over the intercom, but Tali relaxes, confiding in her friend.

"Shepard, we've found nothing. We can't use this data - it will prove my father's mistake."

Shepard nods, but tries to remain practical. "If we don't, you could be exiled."

Tali shakes her head as she stands. "I know. But I can't let my father be labelled a war criminal."

Shepard doesn't answer, just heading back towards the shuttle with her head held high. Garrus watches Tali as she says her goodbyes to her father. Her faceplate looks misty, her eyes obscured. Finally she stands and stumbles along behind Shepard, back to the shuttle and her trial.

When they return, they hear that the trial is already underway, that they are assumed dead. Shepard bursts through the doors to a chorus of gasps and exclamations.

"We saved the Alarei," she states, glaring at the admirals, leaning with both arms on the railing in front of them. Garrus is so proud of her as she stares down a room full of hostile quarians.

"Any evidence to clear Tali?" The doubting admiral Koris asks.

"Evidence?" Shepard paces the room, her head held high. "We don't _need_ evidence. This is Tali'Zora nar Rayya, who defeated the geth and fought at the Citadel."

The crowd murmurs their support. "You don't care about Tali. You," Shepard points to Admiral Koris, "want sympathy for the geth. While you," she points to Gerrel, "want war. Tali knows more about the geth than any quarian alive."

The admirals huddle together, whispering, and the crowd buzzes, everyone discussing their feelings.

Garrus isn't surprised when Tali is cleared. What surprises him is Shepard's closing speech. With an impassioned voice, she pleads that the quarians not go to war with the geth, but hold back and keep their strength to fight the reapers.

#

Having told Joker to set a course for the Citadel, Shepard is sitting down in the mess, feet up on the bench as she sips a fruit juice. She's enjoying the atmosphere, allowing herself some downtime.

The mess is rowdy; Kelly and Tali gossip in one corner, with poor Thane trapped between them, unable to escape. His expression is one of pain, but he's too polite to ask them to move. Neither girl appears to notice his discomfort as they whisper and giggle.

At the other end of the table, Crewman Hawthorne looks like he's trying to chat up Gabby from engineering, but she seems oblivious to his advances, fiddling with a greasy part while eating one handed. It's not stopped him from trying, and Shepard is impressed by his perseverance.

She takes another sip of her drink - fresh berries of a kind she's never tasted before - and raises her glass to Sergeant Gardner. He does a good job of catering to her tastes.

Speaking of tastes… Garrus strolls into the room, heading to the fridges, and she can't help the grin spreading across her face. Broad shoulders, tiny waist and the strength in those legs…

Garrus grabs some strange blue gloop and turns to the tables, his mandibles widening he sees her there. He thanks the mess sergeant and moves to sit beside her.

The crew doesn't even give them a second look anymore. They're used to them now, the human and the turian. While being with Garrus was never intended to be a statement, it _has_ helped to convert the less militant Cerberus believers.

"Shepard." Garrus nods to her as he slides closer, holding his bowl with one hand.

She rests her hand on his thigh under the table and smiles. "We're almost ready to do this. To 'enter hell' as you put it."

"There are those upgrades I suggested…" he begins.

She nods, her thumb stroking his leg absently. "I know. Next stop the Citadel so we can use their docking bays to do the work. Some shore leave, upgrades fitted, then it's time to find that derelict reaper."

Garrus tilts his head, spooning his food into his mouth as he watches her.

There's a loud squeal, and Kelly is suddenly laughing at Tali as the remains of a glass of fruit juice run down her faceplate. Thane's head is in his hands, but Shepard can just make out that his eyes are closed and his lips are moving.

"Is Thane _praying_?" Garrus snorts. "I don't think even his multiple Gods can save him from those two."

"I know," Shepard pulls a wry grin as she watches Kelly help clean Tali's envirosuit. "I've created a monster."

Garrus gulps down his last spoonful of food and pushes his bowl away. She realises he's staring at her in a predatory way, and it sends shivers down her spine. He keeps his gaze fixed on her as he stands and holds out a hand to her. "It's late, are you coming?"

And Commander Shepard, the first human spectre, the Savour of the Citadel, feels almost as girlish as Kelly and Tali as she smiles and boldly accepts his hand.


	28. Chapter 28 Dark Star

**Dark Star**

As she reaches up to comb her hair, Garrus presses himself against her back, one hand sneakily pulling down her bodysuit zipper to reach in and cup a breast.

"Shepard..." he purrs in her ear, licking her neck. "Please. Just a few more minutes."

She runs the comb through her hair, trying to ignore the feelings he's generating, the shockwaves that run directly from her nipples down her spine. "Garrus, you said that _last_ time, and it's now over two hours since the Normandy docked at the Citadel. The crew must be getting antsy."

"Yeah," he murmurs. She feels his mandibles brushing under her ear, his hot tongue teasing against her skin, and she sighs. "But _what_ a two hours it was."

Laughing, she shrugs her shoulders to push his arm away and pulls the zip back up. "I thought you told me that turians prefer it hard and fast, and leave before any of this kind of pillow talk."

"I did," he steps away, moving to where her armour is stacked. "But I _also_ told you that when we find a mate, we're in for the long haul. I'm not going anywhere, Shepard."

Shaking her damp hair, she drops the comb and turns to face him as he returns, holding her armour. "Good," she stands on her tiptoes and presses a quick kiss to his cheek. "Now, hand me that so I can get this meeting over with. I want to get back for some downtime with you."

He hands over her boots. "You sure you want to go public about us on the Citadel?"

"I'm not exactly making an announcement on the extranet about our 'interspecies romance'. Just meeting you for a few drinks, maybe dinner. You know, the normal things people do when they're in a relationship."

He nods, handing over another armour piece. "I'd like that. Yeah, definitely."

She snaps the last few pieces of armour into place and straightens up. Garrus is still totally naked, half aroused as he watches her. He's so distracting, all ropes of muscle and natural armour with one interestingly coloured part...

She sees him take in her appraising glance and grins. "Raincheck?"

"You're incorrigible," she laughs, heading to the elevator. "Deal."

#

Garrus watches Shepard heading down the ramp into the Citadel, her armour clad hips swaying as she walks. She's got her favourite weapons strapped to her back and she looks like she's ready to take down the collectors single handed. Her appointment is with Anderson and Udina, so she probably should've left the weapons on the ship. For _their_ safety.

He'd wanted to go with her to see the politicians, but she'd demurred, asking him to supervise the upgrades that are underway. Once they're completed, she'd said to take the crew to the Dark Star on Zakera ward. She'd promised everyone shore leave, and she wanted to make sure they got it.

Gardner has disappeared to stock up on fresh supplies, taking a few friends with him to help. Others crewmembers are meeting family or friends for a few hours. Most of the crew has emptied out, with just the engineering staff remaining to upgrade the ship.

The Normandy itself is in a maintenance bay, the ship clamped into supports to hold it firm in the zero gravity while Tali and the engineers prepare the upgrades to the ship.

Garrus has spoken to everyone on board, gathering ideas for upgrades and any data on potential improvements. He's helped the engineers by coordinating their requirements with the resource gathering, ensuring that there are enough materials to get the work completed.

The armour upgrade is simple and he leaves Donnelly working on it. Tali is coordinating with an Alliance mechanic on the Citadel to finalise the shield upgrades, so Garrus goes to the main battery to check on the cannon upgrade.

Gabby is underneath Garrus' old spot, the panels pulled away from the wall and new parts strewn around the room.

"Uh, Gabby?" Garrus calls to the legs sticking out from the console. "How's the upgrade coming?"

"Almost done, sir." She answers, one foot kicking as she shifts her position. "About ten more minutes."

Garrus doesn't correct her in calling him sir. He's told her not to at least five times, but she blushes every time and can't hold his gaze. Shepard tells him it's because he's hot, but all turian's are hotter than humans, so he's still not quite sure what the problem is.

"Fine. Meet me on the docks in ten? The Dark Star might be fun."

"You want to take me to the...D-Dark Star?" Gabby's voice is muffled, but he's sure he hears a squeak as her knees hit the metal above her.

Garrus pauses in the doorway. "Everyone's going. We're meeting Shepard there at eleven hundred hours."

"Ahh," Gabby's legs relax and he hears a sigh. "Very good sir."

Garrus stands on the ramp to the Normandy, watching the distance crowds as they go about their business. The Citadel itself is full of every known species, all going about their business completely unaware of the impending threat of the reapers.

"Garrus?" Tali approaches him, Donnelly and Gabby following her. "The upgrades are complete."

She hands him a datapad and he checks over the details. He trusts them with the shields and armour, but checks the gun data carefully. "Hmm, the cannon needs more calibrating, but the upgrades are sound."

Garrus sees Gabby bouncing on her toes behind Tali's back, a wide smile on her face. He nods at her, then returns the datapad to the quarian. "Looks like it's time for some shore leave."

The two Cerberus engineers whoop and slap their palms together, and Tali shakes her head with a laugh. "I have no idea what Shepard is thinking, sending everyone out on leave."

"EDI is still on board," Garrus shrugs as he heads towards the rapid transit. "I think even she can keep track of a parked ship."

Tali hrmms at that, still unconvinced by the AI. Garrus can't blame her, not after their mission to the migrant fleet. He'd never really considered how she must live, isolated from everyone and everything.

"How's your friend, Kal?" Garrus changes the subject. "Heard from him since we left the fleet?"

Tali doesn't answer, using the excuse of climbing into the taxi to avoid the question. Once they're all settled, Garrus pokes her carefully in the side. "C'mon, tell me."

"This conversation is over." Tali folds her arms, her faceplate turned to the window.

Garrus laughs and leans closer, almost purring. "Tell me about your _boyfriend_ Tali'Zorah."

"I have a shotgun." She warns, not looking around, one hand moving behind her back to stroke the stock.

"Fine, fine.. Maybe we'll talk later. I'm sure you'll tell me more after a drink or two."

She shrugs, but he hears a tiny chuckle escape from her suits speakers.

#

It's not yet noon, so the Dark Star is mostly populated by the Normandy crew. As Garrus leads the engineers to the bar, they pass Joker. The pilot is sitting with a bunch of female Cerberus members, telling them tall tales of how he personally saved the Citadel and destroyed Sovereign single handed. The woman all coo and hang on every word, jostling each other to sit closer to him even as they carefully keep their distance from the fragile male.

"Looks like Joker's starting the night with a bang, eh?" Donnelly nudges Garrus, wincing as his elbow collides with hard plating.

Garrus rumbles his agreement, intending to offer to buy drinks when someone he vaguely recognises as one of the Normandy's crew hurries over, making a beeline for Gabby. The newcomer stammers a couple of times before managing to ask if he can buy her a drink.

Garrus chuckles and shakes his head. "Not _that_ far off from how turians prepare for battle, really," he muses to himself.

Tali reaches the bar first, and orders their drinks, so Garrus takes a moment to look around the room. Mordin and Samara are in the far corner, Samara looking as serene as ever while Mordin's hands wave and his mouth flaps a mile a minute. Jut as Garrus is about to look away, the justicar places a hand over one of Mordin's and squeezes it. It's too far for Garrus to hear anything, but he can see the salarian's cheeks flush.

Tali skips past him with a drink in hand, and Garrus watches her join Kelly and Thane at a table. Thane is looking much happier today, listening to Kelly as she talks, his dark eyes as hard to read as ever.

Zaeed is sitting by himself, and the old bounty hunter raises his glass, one eyebrow lifted. Garrus picks up the whiskey Tali bought him and heads over to the table.

"Figured you'd be out following your woman around like usual." Zaeed drawls as he knocks back his drink. He refills his glass from a bottle on the table.

"Shepard doesn't need help in kicking the councils ass." Garrus shrugs as he sits down with his back to the wall. He has a full view of the room, ensuring he can keep an eye on the crew who are nominally his responsibility today.

"Well you tell me if you ever need any help with _Shepard's_ arse." Zaeed makes a strange smacking sound with his lips. "Because that's a woman I could go for."

Garrus shakes his head, his mandibles wide in a grin. "I think we're pretty sorted in that department. Thanks for the offer though. Very unselfish of you."

Zaeed laughs. "I like you Vakarian, you're a top bloke. Not like that Cerberus fella..." Zaeed nods towards the doorway where Jacob and Miranda are entering the club. "Asked him if he'd ever shot over her rack and he threatened to hit me."

Garrus isn't exactly sure what Zaeed means by that, but from the filthy laugh, he's glad it wasn't Shepard he was talking about.

"Reminds me of this time, got to be over ten years ago. I was hired by some guy to find his wife. She'd been kidnapped by this batarian raider. Took me a couple of days to find her, minutes to kill the batarian, then a good two weeks to take her home to her husband. She was a hell of a pretty girl. Liked her men a bit rough, too."

"You'd have liked the old Normandy, there was..." Garrus is interrupted as Jack plumps herself down next to Zaeed and makes a grab for his bottle of alcohol.

"Hands off kid," Zaeed snaps, pulling on the straps wrapped about the biotic's back. She struggles, the leather cutting into her skin.

"Come on old man, I know you like it." Jack grabs at Zaeed's thighs, but the bounty hunter just pulls on the straps again.

"Why don't you go see your engineer fuck buddy? He'll buy you a drink." Zaeed laughs, pushing the girl away from the table.

Jack snorts. "One day you'll admit you want me." With that, she stalks across the room. Garrus follows her path and sees Donnelly watching the young biotic.

"She's involved with him?" Garrus drains his drink. "He's Cerberus, I thought she'd hate him."

"Nah, that hellcat isn't involved with anyone 'cept herself. She's just using him for sex." Zaeed shrugs. "I'm too old for her teenage shit. My hand's less annoying."

Inclining his head as a goodbye, Garrus heads for the bar to get a refill. He spends the next hour circling the place, chatting to the Cerberus crew, checking that everyone is happy, relaxing. Everyone, even the Cerberus humanity first believers, look up to him, ask his opinions, defer to his suggestions.

He gets a buzz from it that isn't just from the alcohol he's consuming. There's a real sense of connection between the team now, an extended family all ready to go the distance. He'll never tease Shepard about her daily rounds again. In fact, he might tag along more often.

Garrus is at the front of the club, near the doors, when a tall, red suited quarian enters, peering around the now busy lounge. Garrus holds up a hand and calls. "Kal'Reegar?"

Kal turns towards him, inclining his head in acknowledgement. "Uh Officer Karian was it, sir?"

"_Va_-karian," Garrus corrects, looking Kal'Reegar up and down. The quarian is still wearing his armoured envirosuit, but he no longer has any weapons strapped to his back. Garrus folds his arms and blocks Kal's way past him. "What are _you_ doing here?"

Kal shifts his weight, hands clasped behind his back as his faceplate looks at the floor. "Um, well sir. Tali's friend, a Miss Chambers, sent me a message that Tali was here on some R&R and that I... uh..." The quarian's voice drifts off into silence.

"So you thought you'd come to try and _get some _while Tali is drunk, hmm?" Garrus leans closer to Kal, scowling.

"Yes. _No_. Sir! That's not it at all..." Kal stammers, raising his hands in defence. "I respect Tali. It's just that last time we met we didn't get much chance to speak. When Miss Chambers' message came in, my ship was nearby, fetching supplies for the fleet so I..."

There's a squeal and Tali flies across the club towards them. Her movements are a little uncoordinated, and Garrus figures that she's been drinking solidly since they arrived.

Garrus lifts his hand making the gesture that's universally understood to mean 'I've got my eye on you'. Kal nods before hurrying across to meet Tali, shooting one quick look over his shoulder to see if Garrus is still watching.

That should ensure there's no shenanigans; Garrus gives a satisfied snort and watches the two quarians go to their own table, before returning to Zaeed's table himself. He notes that Kelly and Thane are now alone, and that they seem deep in conversation. Also, the drell doesn't look like someone stole all his cookies for once. Huh.

Listening to Zaeed's many war stories, Garrus is starting to feel a little drunk when the bounty hunter stops talking and sighs, staring over Garrus' shoulder. "Lucky bastard."

A moment later, he smells her, Shepard, and he's out of his seat, crossing the bar to greet her. He trips on the way - must have been something dropped on the floor he thinks, half stumbling into her arms.

"Shepard," he grins as she staggers under his weight. "I missed you."

She eyes him and his expression turns sheepish as she helps push him upright. "You too Garrus. I should have let you come with me, just to see what a dick Udina is." She catches the bartender's eye and orders a drink.

Garrus growls deep in his chest. "I don't need to see it, he's always been a dick. Should have shot him years ago." He places an arm around her shoulders and nuzzles her hair. "Mmm you smell good," he purrs.

"And you're _drunk_," she nudges him, but doesn't pull away. "Damn it though; I'm standing there with a charming smile and holding out all this data on the reapers to Anderson and Udina, and he starts going on about humanity and the council - holding onto the data to ensure our control." She lowers her voice and murmurs. "He's a worse Cerberus sympathiser than most of our crew."

Garrus is only half-listening to her speak; he does care, but right now she's distracting him with her scent, her supple curves hidden under hard armour, the softness of her hair under his cheek. He purrs to himself as she talks, enjoying the warm alcohol glow and the feeling of her beside him.

"Garrus, you do _know_ where we're standing, right?" Shepard's sharper tone pulls him back to himself and he slides his hand off her rear back up to her waist.

"Umm, sorry, daydreaming." Garrus is trying to think of a good excuse that isn't just alcohol related when Jacob bounds over.

"Shepard, you promised that we'd sink a few when we got to the Citadel," he beams at her. "You don't mind, do you Garrus?"

Garrus shrugs. "Shepard does what she wants. It's not up to me." He drops his arm off her shoulder and nuzzles her head one last time before straightening up.

Jacob beams at Shepard and holds up his pint glass. "Join me?"

"Fine, you drunken bums." Shepard laughs. "Back soon, Garrus. Hold that thought." Garrus feels a light touch on his waist, sees a flash of toothy smile, and then she's gone, following Jacob back to his table.

Garrus realises that he's grinning like a maniac, but he's so damned happy. He's out relaxing with his crew, they're all having fun, and the most beautiful woman on the Citadel is here and she's _with him_.

He's still sipping his drink, leaning on the bar watching Shepard talking to Jacob and Miranda when he hears a familiar, husky voice say "Garrus?"

He turns, his good mood instantly dissipated. "Alenko," Garrus rumbles, before recognising the petite woman hanging onto the Alliance officer's arm. "Oh, hello."


	29. Chapter 29 Reunion

**Reunion**

Garrus feels his warm alcoholic glow fading away as he stares at Kaidan Alenko and Dr Chloe Michel standing arm in arm opposite him.

"Garrus!" Dr Michel looks pleased to see him, dropping Alenko's arm and moving forward to hug him. Garrus leans down and returns the gesture, not dropping his eyes from Alenko's dark stare.

"Good to see you, Doctor," he rumbles, releasing her and taking a small step away.

"Oh, your poor face." She reaches up to touch his scarred cheek, fingers brushing the plating covering his cybernetics. "What happened?"

"Just a small argument between me, a gunship and a missile." Garrus shrugs, still staring at Kaidan. Surely humans have to blink?

Dr Michel gasps before fussing over his scar. One hand grasps his arm, while the other touches his cheek and mandible delicately. As Garrus feels her upper body pressing against his arm, he remembers a strange conversation he had with Shepard, one that had really annoyed her. Something about Dr Michel inviting him out for a date?

He breaks his gaze from the human male and looks down at the petite woman. "Shepard passed on your message."

She blushes and drops her hands, glancing behind her at Alenko before looking back up at him. The backwards look and the blush answer his question. She's out on a date right now. _With Alenko_.

"I... well, yes." She takes Alenko's arm again. "You remember Kaidan? You guys served together on the Normandy."

"How could I forget?" Garrus murmurs. "Spent most of my time with him and Shepard."

"Are you here with her? With Shepard?" Alenko finally speaks, his jaw tense. Garrus can see him clenching and unclenching his fingers. Not a good sign in a powerful biotic.

"She's here," Garrus answers. He notices a shadow cross Dr Michel's features and he's annoyed. Annoyed that Alenko thinks he has a right to ask about Shepard after he rejected her and also annoyed that with one question, the Alliance soldier has hurt this innocent woman.

"Would you like a drink, Doctor?" Garrus holds out his hand gallantly, watching as she peeks up at Alenko's frown before accepting.

"Thank you Garrus. And call me Chloe." She smiles, her cheeks pink.

Garrus guides her to a bar stool and clicks his talons for the bartender. He doesn't look around, but he can see the alliance officer in his peripheral vision. The biotic is standing on the opposite side of him to the doctor, scanning the room.

"I see a lot of Cerberus uniforms." Alenko's frown increases, his dark eyebrows pulled together. "What kind of a ship does she run? The old Shepard would never allow this sort of behaviour."

"She's not the old Shepard," Garrus shrugs.

Chloe's hands grip the edge of bar, her knuckles white, her feet kicking against the stool as she stares at a drinks menu. "Here, try this one," Garrus points to a drink. "Fresh fruit blend, she swears by it."

"Looks like she hasn't changed all that much." Garrus is surprised by the bitterness in Alenko's voice and turns to follow his gaze.

Shepard is oblivious to their scrutiny, chatting to Jacob, slapping his shoulder and laughing at whatever it is he's saying. Jacob is laughing back and gives her a fist bump. From the tension in Alenko's shoulders, Garrus is pretty sure he's misread the body language.

"I promise you. She's _not_ the old Shepard," Garrus repeats, watching her as she drains her glass and slams it on the table. A cheer erupts from their corner as some of the nearby Cerberus crew applaud.

Almost as if she feels their eyes, Shepard glances over, her smile fading as she sees who is watching her. Garrus sees her face flicker through a number of expressions as she looks at Alenko and Doctor Michel before coming to rest on him.

Shepard stands excuses herself, her smile fixed by the time she reaches them at the bar. She walks past Alenko to shake the doctor's hand. "Doctor Michel, how nice to see you again." She turns to face Alenko, but doesn't move to touch him. "Kaidan, you too."

"You never replied to my message," Alenko's voice is soft, almost brittle.

"Ah," Shepard glances at the doctor, "you're here with Dr Michel. Perhaps now is not the time to discuss it."

"You're right, I'm sorry." Kaidan runs a hand through his hair. "Chloe, I…"

"It's okay," Chloe replies in a calm voice. "Go on, I know you want to talk to her." Garrus hears the end of the sentence, muttered softly to herself. "She's all you ever talk about, anyway." Her drink arrives and she sips it, glancing around the room.

Garrus half watches her to make sure she's okay, but he's listening to Alenko.

"I'm surprised at you Shepard, allowing your crew to act so…" He points to the corner where Tali is dancing with Kal'Reegar. Tali looks unsteady, only held upright by Kal's strong arms. "Well, it's unprofessional."

"Kaidan, we're about to go on a… well, a tougher mission than Ilos." Shepard's voice is soft and soothing. "I think it's only right to let them…" she glances back at Garrus with a smile, "blow off steam."

Garrus widens his mandibles at her, but he's keeping his attention on Alenko. An angry biotic is a dangerous thing, however much self control they might have.

"Tougher than Ilos? _Now_ what's Cerberus up to?" Alenko shakes his head. "I'll have to report this to the Alliance."

Garrus sees some of the steel return to Shepard's expression at Alenko's words. "I've just been to see Anderson. It's why the Normandy's _here_," a trace of annoyance creeps into her voice. "But feel free to file a report on me if you feel you have to."

Alenko wavers and runs his hands through his hair again, sighing. "I'm sorry, Shepard. It's a shock seeing you here. I… I don't mean to be confrontational. I've just started putting my life back together, you know, doing something outside of work, dating Chloe."

"Good for you," Shepard smiles. "I'd like you to be happy, Kaidan."

Kaidan waves a hand dismissively. "You've replaced _me_ easily enough." Garrus sees Shepard look at him, but he keeps his attention focussed on the human male.

"Oh, what have you heard?" Shepard asks.

"Heard?" Alenko laughs. "I _saw_ you. Over in the corner, laughing and drinking with your new Cerberus _friend_."

"He means Jacob," Garrus rumbles, placing a hand on her shoulder.

Shepard laughs and points at the corner where the Cerberus soldier is sitting with Miranda. "Do you see that rather beautiful woman sitting with him? _That's_ who Jacob is with."

"I can only see one beautiful woman in this room." Kaidan takes a step closer to Shepard, his eyes gleaming.

Garrus hears a soft exclamation behind him, and then a whiff of medigel and perfume as Dr Michel heads out of the club.

"Idiot," Garrus hisses, moving to follow, then stops as Shepard grabs his wrist.

"I think if you went after her…" She shakes her head. "It'd be inappropriate, wrong impression. Let me go."

Garrus watches the commander catch up to Dr Michel, grabbing her attention and guiding her along level 28 to some benches.

"Damn it, I _am_ an idiot," Kaidan sighs. "I like Chloe, I do. She's a great woman. But, Shepard is unique…" He sighs again. "I've never met a woman who compares."

For once, Garrus agrees with Alenko and he rumbles his assent. The biotic is pacing in small steps beside the bar, his fists clenched and Garrus has something he wants to say, especially as Shepard isn't around to hear it.

"Alenko, Shepard was _dead_. Not underground, not in a coma – she was a _corpse_. Burned up chunks of flesh barely enough to bury." Garrus watches Kaidan flinch, the biotic pausing his steps. Good; Garrus has wanted to get this off his chest since Horizon. He could rip the idiotic human's head off for hurting Shepard. "Cerberus brought her back; it took them two years and over four billion credits. But whatever it took, she's with us again. Joker, Chakwas, even Tali, we're all here for her, if she needs us. Yet you… _you_, the one person she trusted, _needed_, more than all of us, you let her down. You didn't trust her, wouldn't even listen to her and she felt betrayed."

"Dead? I didn't know…she said _coma_, I thought…" Alenko stares at Garrus, his eyes pained. "And I didn't betray her. I was shocked… I…" Kaidan stumbles over his words, a faint blue field crackling around his hands as he talks. "I loved her too and I thought she'd been undercover for two years, working with Cerberus by _choice, _hiding from me. That she didn't _care_. But she was dead. I didn't _know_…"

Garrus glares at him, taking a step closer to loom over the human. "You never gave her a chance to explain. As for Cerberus, you should see the ship. It's got more of a non-human crew than the _old_ Normandy, even the diehard Cerberus followers are coming around to us 'aliens' being part of the team. And unlike the Alliance we're _doing_ something, we're _fighting_ the collectors, making a difference. Remember when Udina said the reapers were a myth, that Shepard was 'overtired' and 'not quite all there'?"

Kaidan winces, his hands opening and closing into fists. Garrus snorts in anger and continues, lowering his face to biting distance. "They didn't care that she'd died. In fact, it cleared up a big problem for your Alliance. The crazy spectre who didn't want to stay quiet and let the council cover up the truth. Then she comes back, she tries to talk to Anderson, tries to find you and they shut her out, call her a traitor."

"No-one would call her a traitor," Kaidan denies. "Shepard's a hero. They owe her everything."

"And yet, even after dying for them, that's what I heard the council call her, right before Anderson refused to tell her about you. 'Classified' he said," Garrus snarls.

"She was looking for me?" The biotic sighs, blinking rapidly as Garrus doesn't back down. "God, Garrus, I thought she didn't… If she's not with that guy, Jacob you called him? Maybe I can talk to her… Make things up somehow, see if she still cares…" Kaidan glances at Garrus.

"I'm not the person to ask about that," Garrus takes a step back, uncomfortable, looking past the biotic to survey the room. He relaxes his shoulders from the fighting stance he'd unconsciously taken.

"Garrus, I know you two are close. You've been friends _forever_. She tells you everything, I…" The biotic stops talking and Garrus glances at him, watching the expression on his face change, the widening of his eyes, his mouth dropping open. "Garrus…?"

"She's _not_ the old Shepard," Garrus repeats his earlier statement. "And she _is_ happy now."

Kaidan doesn't answer for over a minute, his shocked expression unchanging. "I…see. I guess I really am an idiot."

Garrus shrugs, not at ease talking to the human about this.

"Like I said, you've always been close. So how long… Before Horizon? Is that why she didn't reply to my message?" Alenko's husky voice cracks.

"No," Garrus mumbles. "Later. I don't think we even knew ourselves until recently."

"And she's happy?" There's genuine pain in the biotic's expression as Garrus nods. "Good, I'm glad. I could never do that for her. She always held back, always kept herself reserved."

Garrus hears and smells the two women head back into the club, and he turns to welcome them, thankful for the interruption. He'd spent plenty of time with Alenko, but he'd never been that _close_ to him, and he certainly doesn't want to discuss this any further.

Placing a hand on Shepard's shoulder, Garrus widens his mandibles at her. Shepard smiles back, her body swaying unconsciously closer to his as she places a hand on the small of his back.

"Hey," she murmurs up at him.

"I'm happy for you both. I hope we can still be friends." Kaidan's voice cracks as he speaks, staring at the floor. "Chloe, could I speak to you for a moment?"

Garrus watches Kaidan lead the doctor out of earshot, catching odd snippets of their conversation like 'apology', 'so sorry' and 'thoughtless idiot'.

"You told him?" Shepard asks, leaning closer to his side. Garrus slides his arm around her shoulder and nuzzles her hair.

"He guessed." Garrus looks at her face as she watches her former lover walk away with another woman. "Are you okay?"

Shepard exhales "Are you kidding? I was _dreading_ having to tell him."

"And that's all? Really?" Garrus stares into her eyes. She's good at covering things up; he's even better at spotting when she's doing it. But her smile is genuine, none of the telltale worry lines visible between her eyebrows.

"Really." She looks up at him. "I enjoyed my time with Kaidan, don't get me wrong. It worked for us at the time."

Garrus feels a stab of jealousy, his mandibles drawing closed as he glances at the biotic's back with genuine dislike.

"But this, now, with you." Shepard continues, her fingers stroking his hand. "This is something else, something far more special to me."

"For me too Jane," he lowers his face, pressing his forehead against hers.

Garrus hears the turian bartender behind them gasp, but he doesn't look around. He closes his eyes, enjoying the moment with her. That she's chosen him over her human lover, that she's said he's _special_. He purrs, deep in his chest, smiling to himself as she sighs against him. Just because she doesn't understand the significance of his gesture doesn't invalidate it for him.

"It's not because I'm addicted to your voice," she jokes, one hand splaying against his chest. "It's the tattoos that do it."

Garrus laughs, pulling his head back to smile at her. "Good, then I can admit my secret hair fetish." He combs his talons through her hair.

"Not _that_ secret," she leans her head against his arm again, taking a sip of her drink.

They watch in silence as Alenko and the doctor talk, both now full of smiles, Kaidan touching Chloe on the arm.

"You think it'll work?" Garrus rumbles.

"I don't know," Shepard shrugs. "She really likes him. I got her talking about it. Sounds like they've been dating casually for a while." Shepard laughs. "Typically, this was going to be their big 'first' proper date. And then they bump into me…"

"It's not your fault, Shepard," Garrus rubs his cheek against her hair.

"I know." She looks up at him. "And to be honest, it's good to let go. Put the past behind me. And hopefully he can do the same."

Garrus rumbles in reply, catching Alenko's gaze as he stares wistfully at Shepard. He is sure that the biotic might stand a chance at _something_ with the doctor, but that it wouldn't hold a candle to what he'd had with Shepard.

Garrus knows that _he_ could never forget her. For a minute, he almost pities Kaidan, then he remembers Horizon and the feeling passes.


	30. Chapter 30 Dinner

**Dinner**

Shepard and Garrus are both mildly drunk, strolling arm in arm along Zakera ward. They snuck out of the Cerberus party when Jack challenged Grunt to an arm wrestling contest and the club descended into a flurry of betting. Shepard had made sure to place all her money on Grunt just before leaving, much to Donnelly's disgust.

They get the odd surprised look, the human and the turian couple, but luckily no-one seems to recognise Shepard. Garrus has received the odd nod from an old C-Sec colleague, but they've been left alone to enjoy the evening.

"I have an idea," Garrus steers them towards the huge double doors into the turian district. As they slide open, he takes a deep breath. Good food, heady spices and other turians. As much as he loves being on the Normandy, with Shepard, the tasteless protein concoctions available on board are hardly _real_ food.

"There's a place, just here… Known for good turian and human cuisine. I thought, you know, your idea about us doing normal things like dinner…"

He trails off, staring at her expression. Shepard is gazing around her with awe, taking in the turian artwork - stylised battles and military figures that match the strident march playing over the speakers.

"Yes," she says as she gawks. "I'd love it."

Garrus pulls on her arm again, guiding her towards the restaurant. The interior is warm, the lighting bright, and Garrus smiles at the décor. It looks very like his home city on Palaven, the same architecture, the same familiar clan markings.

Shepard spots them too, gasping and pointing out the blue symbols. "Garrus, I love this place," she smiles, tracing a finger along the blue on his face.

The restaurant is only half full, mostly turians but with a handful of humans. A few of the other patrons stare, but Garrus ignores them, there's no threat of combat here unlike the places they usual visit together.

A turian female walks over to seat them, her tiny eyes darting between them. Garrus notices that the waitress seems intrigued by Shepard, her gaze lingering on her face and hair. Shepard is in her armour, so it's possible that she's been recognised. Garrus curses under his breath. Jokes aside, he _doesn't_ want to cause an incident. The council are already unhappy with her.

He sits opposite her, sliding his long legs under the table so that he can feel her feet between them. He reaches over the table and takes her hand. "I think that waitress recognised you."

"Nah, I thought that for a second, then I saw the way she was checking you out. I think she was more pissed off that I was with you." Shepard grins, her thumb stroking against his palm.

"Not everyone has your taste for scorched armour and scars," Garrus rumbles, feeling a flicker of pride that Shepard thinks he's so desirable. The smell of turian cuisine is stronger in here and his mouth is literally watering. He can't remember the last time he ate properly cooked food.

"Yeah well, even if she has recognised me, I don't care." Shepard shrugs, reaching across the table with her other hand. "It's not like what we're doing is illegal."

He smiles at that, relaxing, trying to stop his brain from analysing the people in the room, the distance between shots. Trying to focus on the woman sitting with him.

They spend some time going through the menu, finding some of the fresh food Shepard loves, and that they make Garrus' favourite dish, with ingredients fresh from Palaven. Now that he's feeling less paranoid, he can see the waitress eyeing him, taking in his scars, Shepard's armour and weapons. Even for the cosmopolitan Citadel, they cut a strange figure.

In all their time together, they've never just gone out like this before. Sipping drinks, nibbling their food, and talking - endless talking. Shepard talks about her past, her N training, how she's had to fight to prove that she is a soldier first and a woman second.

Warmed by his mild alcoholic buzz, he enjoys listening to her, holding her hand as her foot strokes his leg. She's so relaxed, her face animated, free hand waving as she talks of old battles, fist fights and strenuous training. It reminds him of his own youth, in a way. He joined up a year younger than she did, but with the same military background, her in the Alliance, him in the turian special forces.

"I don't know if you can move after all that… what did you call it? Cake?"

"Strawberry cream cake." Shepard almost purrs the words as she rubs her stomach. "Squashy fruit and cow juice. And cake. My god, I wish Gardner could bake a decent cake."

Garrus shakes his head at her as she laughs. "My question was going to be, shall we go for a walk? The Citadel park isn't far from here, and it's quite beautiful."

She pushes the bill to the edge of the table, an overly large credit chip laid over the top. Garrus feels no shame in Cerberus picking up the tab; good use of their money.

As soon as the waitress has taken it, Shepard's out of her seat like a shot, grabbing his hand. They take a shortcut through the turian district's markets, the sights and sounds causing Shepard to stare. The shops, items, even the street entertainment are all familiar to Garrus, but he loves watching Shepard taking it in for the first time. His chest swells with pride; she's interested in it because she cares about him, and she wants to learn about his life, his culture.

She stops outside a club, watching the turian females performing a traditional dance. They're beautiful and their clothes are revealing, but Garrus doesn't give them a second glance, preferring to catch all of the expressions and emotions on Shepard's face.

"One day, when all this is over, I'd like you to accompany me to Palaven." Garrus says.

She looks up, her eyes shining in the bright lights. "I'd like that, yes. We spend so much time on human ships, human colonies; I'd love to see where you grew up."

"Palaven is beautiful. I mean, I'll need to find out if you need a radiation suit or if there's some lotion or pills for humans, but yeah, I'd like to take you with me." He leans down and brushes his mouth against hers. "Soon."

Past the shops, they exit to a wide park that runs down one of the Citadel's arms. The strong scents of flowers, grass and trees, are quite stimulating after the spicy, dusty aroma of the turian district.

The artificial light means that it's still bright despite the late hour, but Shepard doesn't seem to care, strolling slowly underneath the branches of the trees, pausing in the dappled shade to wrap her arms around his waist.

She kisses him, soft, wet lips pressing against his own, her tongue tasting of a strange fruity bitterness. She presses herself against him, armour cool against his plating, her hands roaming his back, pulling him closer. He watches her as she kisses him, her eyes fluttering, her tongue never still. He can barely feel her body through her armour, so he slides his hands up, one stroking her hair, the other cupping a soft cheek.

She leans back against a tree, pulling him with her, their limbs entwined, supported by the trunk. She breaks off the kiss with a smile, catching her breath, her hands still moving, caressing his shoulders and back. She looks beautiful as the light ripples across her face, and he can't help but purr to express his contentment.

She grins at the rumbling, spreading her fingers across his chest as she listens. He can't resist her and dips his face, nipping at her with his hard lips, licking her throat before moving to kiss her mouth. She sighs against him, her arms tightening around his waist.

He hears footsteps on a catwalk above them as someone passes, triggering a news terminal. _"__Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams, who died fighting Saren on Virmire, was posthumously awarded the salarian silver dagger and the turian nova cluster today." _The footsteps fade and the news report dies down.

Shepard pulls back from the kiss, blinking rapidly, her eyes moist. Garrus strokes his hand along her cheek, mentally cursing the news.

She sighs. "I know it might feel strange, us spending time together like this, instead of shooting up some poor mercs somewhere…" Garrus smiles as she continues. "But I want us both to have some _good_ memories. If anything happens…"

"Nothing will happen Shepard." He growls, pressing his forehead to hers. "We've gone through hell before. It'll be fine, as long as I'm with you."

"I need you to promise me something." She takes his hand in hers, the cool metal gloves holding him tightly.

"Whatever you need." Garrus nods. "Ask, Shepard."

"When I came looking for Archangel on Omega, you'd given up, you were ready to die." She bends her knees, sinking to the ground, and he follows, curling up next to her on the soft grass. "I can only do this if I know you'll be okay. That you'll keep going even if anything happens…"

"Nothing will _happen_," he repeats.

"But it_ has_ happened before. No," she doesn't let him interrupt, "I know we don't like to think about it, but if it wasn't for Cerberus, I'd never have had a chance to be with you, to fight this fight. So, if anything _does_ happen, I need to know that you'll be okay. That you'll go on."

"Shepard…" Garrus wants to argue, tell her that he'll never let her get hurt, that he'll always be there to take the bullet for her, that he'd _prefer_ to die than live in a world without her again. But right now she doesn't need to hear that, she needs something else from him. "If something happens, I'll keep fighting. I'll not let the council dismiss the reapers _or_ Commander Shepard. Not again."

"Thank you," she smiles, the artificial sunlight filtering through the leaves, casting shadows across her face. She presses her lips to his, her hands stroking up and down his waist. "I couldn't do this without you, Garrus."

"Sure you could. Not as stylishly, of course." He nudges her, widening his mandibles into a smile.

They both laugh softly and he tries not to think about Virmire, but he's failing. He can see the same shadows in her eyes, an echo of the haunted expression that she'd had for weeks after that terrible decision.

He nuzzles her forehead and murmurs. "Now, there are only a couple of hours before the end of shore leave. I think I remember something about needing to christen the bed in medbay?"

She looks surprised, but she leans closer into his embrace, kissing along his throat. "I like how you think Officer Vakarian."

"Good," he purrs, taking her hand in his. "Let's make the most of that empty ship."

#

She's sweating hard, her armour is too heavy, and her arm feels numb from her shoulder to her fingertips. She's struggling to haul an inert geth behind her, despite Tali's protests, and her arm is almost dead from the weight. Her hand wavers as she holds her pistol, but she keeps herself moving through sheer force of will.

Garrus limps beside her, holding Tali upright as the quarian stumbles to keep up. They're all exhausted; covering with wounds but Tali is the worst, a husk managing to bite through her suit into her shoulder. Her antibiotics have kicked in, but she's already running a fever. Garrus took a couple of wounds to his leg. He says he's fine, but he's limping badly, leaving a trail of blue blood and his breathing sounds harsh over the intercom. They're low on medigel, and they're still only partway towards escaping the two kilometre long derelict reaper. Shepard is worried about them both.

They pass a personal log, one more of the multitude of the Cerberus science team's terminals. Scattered throughout the ship, this one tells the story of the slow but gradual indoctrination of the humans. Even though the vast, ancient lifeform is dead, drifting for 37 million years, it's still capable of changing anyone who spends too long in contact with it.

But that's not the main problem. The ship's automatic defences erected a barrier, forcing them to disable the mass effect core. And by disabling _that_, the reaper is now going to drop out of orbit, and plunge into the sun. Just to make it _really_ fun, there are a seemingly unending stream of husks crawling out of the bowels of the ship.

Shepard sighs, shaking her head to clear some of the moisture from her eyes so that she can see through her helmet. They've not got long before the reapers orbit deteriorates. Joker gave them an estimate of three minutes over two minutes ago, and they're struggling to make it to an exit.

She pushes onwards, ignoring the human corpses impaled on the dragons teeth, focusing on the mission: on the IFF that is now in Tali's possession. The thing that will take them through the Omega 4 relay to face the collectors.

"Forty five seconds…" Joker's voice cuts through her thoughts as she dodges the remains of a husk.

"Not really helping Joker…" she mutters, checking her directions again. Stumbling onwards, the geth is scraping along the floor behind her. Most of the time she can ignore the fact that she's half human, half cybernetic, but it's the only reason she's even partway strong enough to do this.

"Thirty…"

She sees the gap; the blackness of space, the edge of the Normandy. "C'mon Garrus – haul that ass! I need to see Tali on board, _now soldier_."

Garrus moves faster, half pulling Tali along as he speeds up to a trot, aiming for the gap. Shepard tries to keep up, her arm about to give way, the pain suddenly excruciating.

"Fifteen…"

Garrus pushes Tali in front of him, her limbs slack as she drifts across the vacuum between the two ships. A second later, he leaps, his long limbs stretching to guide Tali, ensuring that they both make it into the Normandy.

"Ten…"

"Leave the geth, Shepard, _jump_." Garrus shouts, turning to stare as she staggers to the edge.

"Almost there…" she pushes the synthetic out, watching it drift before starting to push off with her feet.

As she pushes the derelict shifts and twists, falling away. She can tell she didn't get enough purchase, didn't push off at the right angle to make it. She's floating forward, but she's too low, the Normandy slipping away above her.

Garrus is still wearing his helmet, the black visor covering his eyes, but she stares at him, hoping he can see her through her helmet. "I'm sorry," she whispers.

"Shepard, reach…" Garrus leans out of the ship, stretching towards her. "You can do it…"

Silence stretches, seemingly infinite but in reality less than a second as she floats, just out of range of his hand. She remembers last time, the coldness of space, floating through the stars beside a burning ship. Not again. Not like this.

"Is everyone on board? I need to get the Normandy moving." Joker asks.

"Not yet, you bosh'tet, wait!" Tali shouts. "_Stretch_ Shepard - _c'mon_."

Then she feels it, the tips of his fingers brushing hers, and somehow he's got her, fingers sliding down, grabbing her wrist, pulling her hard. Something in her shoulder snaps and the pain makes her grey out for a few seconds. Then she's safely on the Normandy, cradled in Garrus' arms, watching the reaper as it falls away into the burning star below.


	31. Chapter 31 A House Divided

_Now with added mandible licking for Lalaith Raina's birthday. The things I do for you guys :)_

* * *

**A House Divided **

"He's called Legion, you know," she says, tracing the plates on his shoulder with her fingertips. The bed is in disarray, with blankets and sheets spread around the room as she lies next to Garrus, his body heat keeping her warm.

"Mmm?" He sounds half asleep, eyes staying closed, but he tightens his talons on her shoulder, caressing her. He's got a wedge of pillows under him so that he can lie back without his cowl being uncomfortable.

"The Geth. When I woke him, we named him Legion." She loves how silvery he looks in the muted light of her cabin, the dark patches of leathery skin dull in comparison as she trails her fingertips across his chest.

Garrus opens his eyes, blinking a couple of times before he focuses on her. "I didn't know you'd got it working."

"Yeah - after the doc fixed Tali. When you were in surgery for your leg. I had Miranda telling me to give him to Cerberus, Jacob telling me to space him… Both of them were disgusted when I woke him up to talk to him."

Garrus laughs, a throaty chuckle. "They never learn. If I want something, I just ask you for the opposite."

She pokes him, right between two plates. "Hah, that'd never work Vakarian."

"I _reeeally _don't want you to kiss me right now…" Garrus drawls, looking up at the ceiling.

"Liar," she leans closer, kissing along his cheek, taking time to nibble and suck on his mandible. He sighs as she continues to tease him, her tongue sweeping across his hard lips before she pulls back.

"And before you say anything," she warns, "I did that to prove I do what I want, when I want."

"_Sure_ you did," he purrs smugly.

Shepard laughs as she relaxes back against her pillows. "Did you notice that Legion had some of my old N7 armour patching a hole? From when I was lost on Alchera I guess."

"I didn't look at it that closely. I was carrying Tali and concentrating on not bleeding to death." Garrus strokes her arm. "Why would it have done that?"

"That's the first thing I asked. He said 'there was a hole', then when I pushed him, 'no data available'. He's really odd."

"Shepard, it's a _geth_." Garrus rolls his eyes at her. "Just having one on the Normandy is _way_ beyond 'odd'."

"They built him 'specially, you know. Over a thousand programmes running instead of the usual hundred, just so that he can interact with organics."

"You're talking as if you _like_ it," Garrus leans back onto the pillows against his cowl.

"Like? I don't know. Respect maybe? That they're trying to communicate, instead of years of silence." She shrugs. "Plus, even though I get on better with her now, it's still so much _fun_ to piss Miranda off."

She loves the feel of his laughter as it vibrates through his chest to her fingers, the way his lips and mandibles move as he smiles. She leans closer, running a hand down his side towards his waist, caressing the soft skin above his hips. He purrs with pleasure, his eyes soft as he looks at her.

"And the IFF? Is EDI linking it to the Normandy?" Garrus rumbles, shifting his hips as she squeezes.

"Mmm," she runs her tongue along the gaps of his stomach plates, breathing in his musky scent. They've both been resting since the mission, Garrus recovering from surgery, Shepard just exhausted. But now she's starting to get her energy back, and there's this really hot, naked turian lying next to her.

"Isn't it risky?" Garrus asks.

"Mmm," she repeats as her mouth moves lower, her tongue licking the plates below his stomach, one hand squeezing his waist. "Garrus, shut up and pay attention."

"I think I can do that commander," he sighs.

#

Garrus trails behind Shepard, annoyed with her, angry at what they are doing. She told him something about 'good' geth and 'bad' geth. Something about heretics that have sided with the reapers and need to be utterly destroyed.

It doesn't make sense to him, wiping them all out because they have different ideals than Legion. He remembers Noveria clearly, Shepard letting the rachni queen go, despite the possible galactic consequences, because she refused to destroy an entire species. He'd admired her for that, approved of her mercy. So why are they fighting their way through a geth-occupied quarian space station to wipe out the heretics?

The station itself is cold and silent. The geth have no need for oxygen, so the station has no atmosphere or gravity, the air littered with floating debris. It also means that even though his injured leg is killing him, Garrus can't access it to apply any medigel. And the pain is spiking, throbbing up his body, causing his head to pound in time with his pulse. It's really not helping his temper.

Garrus stays at Shepard's right side as she follows Legion through the facility, keeping close. There's a deceptively simple layout to the place, rooms filled with hubs housing inactive geth that are easily ripped apart.

Legion pauses. "Shepard-Commander. We have uncovered an option. Instead of destroying the heretics, we could use our programming; make them believe as we believe."

Garrus can see Shepard considering the option, which makes him even angrier. "That sounds dangerously close to indoctrination. Maybe this is how AIs settle religious disputes, but is this how _we_ do things now?"

Their helmets hide any facial expressions, but she places a hand on his arm. "It's not how I _want_ to do things, Garrus, but we need to consider all the options," she says in her soft voice. "The geth are already a threat to organics, if they get back their heretics, they'll be even stronger."

It irritates him more, that she's trying to placate him. "_Someone_ make up their mind, so we can get moving," Garrus growls, pulling his arm away.

"The central core is this way," Legion moves ahead, picking its way through the dark corridors, avoiding the faint trails of light that hum through the floor.

They pass a bank of massive processors built into the walls of the station. Huge computers, housing the memories of the heretics; their immense size makes the team pause.

"Are they aware of us?" Garrus asks, leaning close to the thin pane separating them.

"No more conscious than are the cells in your bloodstream." Legion shakes its head jerkily. Garrus has noticed that the synthetic is a fast learner, mimicking gestures and facial expressions as well as it is able. It has no need to do this, but it's chosen to. That just reinforces his view that the decision to wipe out the heretics is far from a simple one.

He listens to Legion as it explains to Shepard what brought this mission about, that the loyal geth are upset the heretic faction have been spying on them using a secret virus. The two factions had lived in peace for so long, how could they choose to do that? How could the heretics change so much?

"People change, they develop differently from each other." Shepard answers.

"We question the benefits of individuality." Legion turns away.

There is no expression in Legion's answer, but it reinforces Garrus' suspicions that this isn't some altruistic 'save the galaxy from the heretics' mission, rather more of a revenge deal. The heretics aren't doing what is expected of them, so they're going to get punished for it.

They reach the central computer core, still not having reached a decision. Garrus is limping now, jaw clenched tight as he tries to ignore the pain. He's managed to keep behind Shepard, so she hasn't noticed. Even with his foul mood controlling him, he doesn't want to worry her.

Legion works the terminal, talking to itself. "Yes. We will upload a copy of our runtime to the core. It will delete all copies of the virus."

Garrus wants to talk to Shepard, but she's facing away from him and he's too irritated to initiate the conversation himself. He paces the deck behind her, watching the synthetic and growling.

"The datamine is complete – what is the consensus? Re-write them to join us, or delete them?" Legion looks to Shepard for guidance.

"You let them make their own decisions, then you want to kill them for it?" Garrus snaps, stalking up to the geth as it waits for a decision. "You can't have it both ways, Legion."

"It was their choice to remove _our_ right to make decisions with their virus. We choose to defend ourselves." Legion responds.

Garrus stares, knowing that Legion is telling the truth, that the synthetic doesn't have emotional responses like the need for vengeance. But does that make what they're doing better or worse?

"Will you accept them back?" Shepard's voice is low, barely picked up by her suit's microphone.

"All will be stronger." Legion nods, the flaps above its 'face' moving to emphasis the point.

"Take them back then." She looks at Garrus and he can see the ghost of a smile through her visor. "Garrus, we wipe them out, or bring them back. Both choices have bad implications, but I don't want to wipe them out."

"I understand Shepard," he nods to her, his rage beginning to dissipate. "Just another one of those decisions that will come to haunt us in the future."

She laughs at that, the noise brittle and sharp, and he realises that she's just as conflicted as he is about this. Kicking himself for his selfishness, he moves to her side, placing a gloved hand on her shoulder.

"There will be an EM pulse of 1.21 petawatts." Legion warns. "This station is not shielded. Organics should leave the area immediately."

Then they're running through the station, the only sounds their boots on the metal flooring and harsh panting over the intercom as Legion leads them back to the Normandy at full speed. Garrus' leg protests, and he's sure that the wound has re-opened, but he keeps pace with Shepard, not letting her out of his sight until the Normandy's doors close and he collapses to the deck, his blood flowing freely beneath his armour.

_**#**_

"Welcome back." Garrus blinks at Shepard sleepily from the medbay bed as she enters the room.

"Hey, you're awake." Shepard leans closer, kissing his forehead. "I just nipped out to solve an issue with Legion and Tali."

"Trouble?" Even half-drugged from the anaesthetic, he straightens, ready to help her.

"Relax," she sits on the edge of his bed, sliding a hand across his naked chest. "All sorted. As much as having a geth and a quarian on board will _ever_ be sorted." She lifts the edge of the sheet covering him and peeks underneath with a grin. "How's the leg? Looking pretty good from here."

"_Shepard_," Garrus pulls the sheet tight around his hips, glancing over his shoulder to where Dr Chakwas usually sits, even though he knows the chair is empty. "She comments non-stop as it is. What do you say…? Don't give her another heat sink?"

"More ammo," Shepard corrects with a laugh. "How long do you have to stay in here?"

"Couple of hours; she wants to check that the wound closed properly this time. Something about my skin and plates not healing as fast as she'd thought. Why?"

"Oh, EDI's integrating the IFF into the Normandy, we can't really do any proper missions as the ship will be out of commission while they test it, at least twenty four hours. Only the shuttle available," she grins, tracing the smaller plates down his stomach, pushing the sheet lower, "but we're quite near the Argos Rho cluster. Remember Intai'sei?"

His mandibles widen and he purrs. "That apartment you won on Pinnacle Station? You still have it?"

"Yeah, I checked. Still there, still registered as mine." She slides her hand lower, listening to his breathing growing heavier as she massages his plating. "I figured a few hours downtime while your legs heals might be good? There's a small town if the others want to go eat or shop. Just while EDI and Joker test the IFF, of course."

"Have I ever told you how much I like your ideas?" Garrus purrs, relaxing back against his pillows.

His plating moves under her hand and her smile widens. "Don't worry; I can definitely _feel_ your approval."

* * *

_And for the first time in 31 chapters, I need to skip a day. No chapter tomorrow due to my having to work late into the evening, meaning no chance to fix any beta amends or actually post the chapter! I'll make it up to you all on Monday._


	32. Chapter 32 Consequences

**Consequences**

Garrus can barely remember the time before he learned to kiss, so much does he enjoy the feeling of her lips against his own, kissing and nipping at him, her tongue teasing him, running along his mouth. He loves kissing now, it's another way to be intimate with her, feeling her soft tongue as she sighs against him.

He smells the dust that followed them inside her secret hideaway on Intai'sei; hears the howling winds that buffet the small building; tastes Shepard on his tongue; feels her soft hair as it twists through his talons; sees the flush of arousal in her eyes. He's never been so aware of every sense, never felt so alive before.

Her hands are at his waist, fiddling with the fastening on his trousers - his shirt is already puddled at their feet, next to her clothes. Garrus sighs as he pulls back from her, releasing her face before removing his trousers in one smooth movement, sliding them past the spines and spurs on his hips and calves that always give her trouble.

She grins at him, one hand trailing down to squeeze him gently, his hips rocking back automatically. He doesn't think she'd realised how much he needs her until this moment. The faint light reflects strangely in her eyes, illuminating her dilated pupils.

Her skin glows, strong shoulders tapering to a slender waist. How full and smooth her lips are. How gently her tongue explores his mouth. He growls as he tugs her close again.

It's that unique mixture of strength and softness that appeals to him, her muscular thighs, her soft breasts. A combination where the parts add up to a greater whole; like the woman herself, powerful enough to taken down Sovereign, caring enough to help heal Jack.

She hisses as he draws back and looks at her. "Yes Garrus," she whispers, squeezing him harder, "now."

Shepard wraps her arms around his waist, running her fingers along the sensitive flesh at his sides. He finds pleasure in the steady rise and fall of her breath as she presses herself against him. She kisses his waiting mouth, moaning as he hungrily responds. Taking her face in his hands, he slides his talons through her hair.

He pushes her backwards as they kiss, forcing her to take one, then two stumbling steps until the back of her knees hit the bed. He places a hand on her chest and pushes once, causing her to fall back onto the bed with a laugh. She sits up, perched on the edge of the mattress, biting her lower lip as she looks up at him.

Mandibles wide, he kneels on the floor in front of her, his face still level with hers as he pushes her thighs apart. He reaches out, bringing a hand to rest on her right breast, outlining the shape of it with his three fingers, cupping it, rubbing her nipple between his thumb and one finger. Her response arouses him; she sucks in her breath and arches her back, her nipples puckering and growing hard at his touch. He lowers his head to her left breast, catching the tip between his hard lip and tongue. She keeps her back arched and moans loudly in response.

"Garrus, wait..." She pushes on the top of his head, pulling away from him as his talons continue to caress her.

Stretching out a foot, she pulls her trousers closer, leaning down to snag something from the pocket. She sits up straight again, a triumphant grin on her face. "Lotion, from Mordin."

"Chafing." They say the word together, both trying to do an impression of the earnest salarian, laughing.

He stays still, kneeling between her legs as she squeezes some floral-smelling lotion onto her hands. With one eyebrow raised, she spreads the cool liquid on his chest plates, massaging gently.

He watches her in silence as she discovers the scar just below his left elbow, received on his first mission in the turian military. She spots an irregularly coloured plate on the left side of his hip with an excited gasp, her curiosity causing her to inspect every inch of him more closely, lips following her moist hands as she kisses his softened plating. He is fascinated by a tiny dark spot located on her back, exposed as she twists and bends to moisturise him.

Her hands explore everywhere, driving him wild; his body has never felt like this with any of his previous, brief, lovers. Something about Shepard makes all places she touches burn like they're on fire. Every inch of his body is sensitive to the pressure of her fingers.

He can't take it any more, her slow caresses as she rubs the lotion into his skin, so he retaliates. She sucks in a breath as he moves his hand down the front of her body and slips it between her legs. He notes that breathing becomes difficult for her as his fingers explore the hidden regions of her body.

"Garrus, that's _really_ distracting," Shepard murmurs as she arches her lower body against his fingers. Her hands flutter to a standstill, bracing against his shoulders as she drops her head against his throat.

With this as encouragement, he inches his two fingers into her opening, keeping his thumb moving in soft circles. Her breathing is ragged and unpredictable, and Garrus enjoys the rise and fall of her heaving chest in front of his face. Strange, there was a time when he didn't like breasts either. Shepard has _really_ corrupted him.

"Garrus, the lotion..." She drops the bottle as he teases her, turning her head to rain kisses along his throat, up his cheek up to his fringe.

He keeps working his fingers, increasing the speed gradually, taking pleasure in her responses. Her hands clutch at his fringe, squeezing desperately as her body begins to shake. She gulps, holding her breath unconsciously as her release steadily builds. He concentrates on her gratification, listening to her mewl. With a sharp intake of air, her whole body arches, tense.

Garrus can't help but purr in appreciation as she closes her eyes and cries out his name, her body bearing down upon his stroking fingers, trembling uncontrollably. He stills his hand, holding her against him as she quivers, her breathing slowly coming back under control.

"Jane," he whispers her name against her throat as he kisses it, licking the cool skin down her neck with his tongue. Nipping at her sensitive flesh draws forth a moan, the vibration of her voice resonating upon his hard lips.

Her hands have been holding onto his fringe for some time when she leans back from him with a smile. Garrus loves the light sheen of sweat that covers her body, a sign of how much he has made her experience. He brushes a few stray hairs from her forehead, never tiring of how it moves, the feel of it against his talons.

He sits up straighter, moving his hips forward, closer to her. She hooks a finger under his chin, drawing his eyes up to hers.

"Give me a minute, my brain is still fried and it's _definitely_ my turn on top."

"Hell no, Shepard," Garrus laughs. "Not after you strapped me down to the medbay bed. Taking advantage of me after I'd had a few drinks in the Dark Star means it's mine, for sure"

"Mmm," her grin is wide, with that dirty twist to it that he loves. "Yeah, I did cheat, but damn it was _hot_ having you at my mercy."

"I certainly wasn't complaining," he grins, pressing against her, bodies close as she gasps.

"Garrus, I need to catch my breath." She pushes ineffectually at his chest.

"No," he purrs, running his tongue along her throat. She traces the back of her hand across his cheek and along his mandible, biting down on her lip as she reaches down to help guide him into place. Her breath hitches as he eases into her, joining in his deep purring as he moves his hips gently. He can still feel her body recovering from her orgasm, muscles contracting around him as he rocks his hips.

A moment later and he is fully inside her. She whimpers, a soft sound for her, as he goes still. Leaning closer, he presses his body into hers, breathing in her scent, talons gripping the covers on either side of her. They gaze at each other, Shepard wrapping a hand around the back of his neck as she holds him close. He can't move for a few seconds, breathing deeply as he enjoys the sensations of her tight around him, her hands holding his forehead to hers, her cool body pressed flush against him. His control has improved immensely since their first time, but he's still floored by how good she feels around him. He hopes to _never_ get used to that sensation.

He starts to move, pulling out of her slowly, both hands held tight around her hips. Their position means that she can't move easily, allowing him total control, and he's determined to keep that advantage.

He pulls back, withdrawing almost entirely as he kisses her, teasing her panting mouth with his tongue.

"Garrus," she growls, her breath cool against his lips. "Faster, damn it, that's an _order_."

She moans his name in frustration as he slides back into her even more gradually, moving with glacial slowness. He repeats this, over and over again, time seemingly endless as he worships her in the only way he knows. She's desperate, trying to force him to move faster, trying to buck her hips against him, but he controls himself, keeping her close to the edge without giving her the respite that she craves.

Eventually, sooner than he wants, he finds himself unable to resist her hoarse cries and speeds up his movements. His mandibles brush her cheeks as she kisses him frantically, breaking off to pant, but never once dropping her gaze from his. Her eyes are unfocused, pupils dilated as she stares through him, murmuring his name.

He feels her body tensing again as her hands drop to his waist, pulling on him forcefully. She thrashes against him, driving him in deeper as she shakes in rapture, eyes closing as it goes on and on, her cries increasing in volume as he keeps moving within her.

The loud moans she makes are a surprise, and Garrus finds that his pleasure is unexpectedly increased by listening to her, heart beating wildly in his chest as he follows her over the edge. He slows his movements as wave after wave of bliss crashes over him. Vision blurred, he fights to keep his eyes open and upon her, despite the shuddering of his body.

They stay together, face to face, body to body, trembling with release. They are still joined, the aftershocks still pulsing between them as their fevered breathing subsides. They're close, limbs entwined, mouths sharing their breath as they pant, his lotion covered body slick against hers.

"I think…" Shepard still hasn't opened her eyes. "You almost killed me Garrus. Wow."

He laughs, stroking her back, holding her tightly. "It's so much fun disobeying orders."

Her answering laugh resonates through their bodies where they're joined, causing him to reflexively push deeper into her again with a low groan.

"Do you think we could ever get any closer than this?" Garrus murmurs against his lover's lips.

"I don't know," she blinks, a small smile creeping across her lips. "I'd like to keep trying."

He widens his mandibles at her, shifting his body away from hers. She makes an unhappy noise for a second, but he stands, lifting her carefully onto the centre of the bed before laying down beside her. They curl up together, one of her legs thrown over his, her foot resting on his spur, and drift into slumber as the wind howls outside their haven.

#

Garrus is quite beautiful: the angles of his face look softer as he sleeps, more rounded, the pronounced cheek structure that she loves, his tiny nose. His skin is a pale silver, almost luminous in the dim light. Even his hard lips are relaxed, his mandibles fluttering. She finds herself entranced as he naps beside her.

Desire for him gnaws at her belly, and she wriggles so that she's resting against his neck, her body settled between his legs. Her movement wakes him up, blue eyes peering at her as his talons stroke lazy patterns on her back. She's totally relaxed, gently running her fingers along his plates, a small smile on her face.

She looks down at him, tilting his head back and brushing her lips against his. The inside of his mouth is soft and he yields, lips parting as her tongue slips inside, teasing him.

She brings a hand up to cup his cheek as the kiss deepens, sighing. He tastes wonderful and his tongue torments hers to the point where she draws back with a growl of frustration. "Damn, how have we managed to use up eight hours already? Stop _teasing_ me, it's _my_ turn on top and we'll need to pick up the others soon."

"Maybe sooner than you think," Garrus murmurs sleepily, pointing at her blinking omni-tool with one talon.

"I bet it's just Jack and Miranda, fighting instead of shopping," Shepard grumbles, kissing his lips once quickly before sitting up to check her messages. "Or maybe Grunt got caught again, wearing those..."

Her voice trails off as she reads. It's a short message, only a few words, but it makes her breath catch in her throat as the world comes crashing down around her.

_Collectors found __us. Everyone's gone. Help. J._


	33. Chapter 33 Omega 4

**Omega 4**

"I said, that will be _all_ Vakarian," Shepard snaps at him, not looking around as she enters the comm. room.

Garrus bites back his arguments. She's too furious with herself to listen to reason, her guilt driving her forward relentlessly. He pauses to lean against the doorway, scoping the room. Joker is sitting on the table, his short, slightly twisted body hunched over as Miranda paces in front of him. She's berating him for his stupidity, taking out her anger on the pilot with an raised voice and a jabbing finger.

"Stand down, Operative Lawson." Miranda retreats to stand beside Jacob, her expression dark as Shepard steps up to Joker, placing a hand on his shoulder. Garrus notes that she's not thinking and doesn't control her strength, squeezing with enough force to make the pilot wince and sit up straighter. Her gesture of comfort has become something else entirely, and Garrus isn't sure she's realised.

"Heard it was a rough ride, how you holding up?" She asks Joker, her smile looking more like a grimace.

"There's a lot of empty chairs in here, Commander." The pilot glances from Garrus back to her, his knowing expression making it clear he's fully aware of what they'd been _doing_ while the crew was going through hell.

Shepard stares back, her face frozen in her Commander mask as her jaw tenses.

"We did everything we could Jeff." EDI comforts Joker, and Garrus feels a spike of irritation that the AI is more empathetic than the other sentients in the room.

"Thanks Mom," Joker murmurs back.

Shepard has turned away from her pilot, rolling her right shoulder the way she does to loosen tension. Jacob and Miranda are huddled against the wall in silence, their eyes accusing as they look across the table at Garrus. Damned hypocrites - like he doesn't know that they were holed up together in a hotel down on Intai'sei.

"Is the ship clean? We can't risk this happening again." Shepard is all business as she pauses in front of EDI's avatar.

"EDI and I purged the systems. The reaper IFF is online. We're ready to go whenever you want." Joker answers in a monotone.

"Don't even get me _started_ about unshackling the damned AI," Miranda snaps, the strength of her accent betraying the anger underneath her clipped sentence. She lurches forward, but Jacob places a restraining hand on her arm, shaking his head.

"What could _I_ do against the collectors? Break my arm at them? EDI cleared the ship. She's all right." Joker's voice is softer than Miranda's as he stares at the floor, but it carries across the room.

"I am still bound by protocols in my programming. Even if I were not, you are my crewmates." EDI's smooth voice sounds a touch offended by Miranda's comment.

Shepard is still standing in front of the AI's terminal, rubbing her shoulder. "EDI's had plenty of opportunities to kill us. We need all the help we can get."

Garrus straightens up and steps over to the comm. table. He leans forward, all eyes drawn to him. "Sounds like we have everything we need to rescue the crew. It's time to take the fight to the collectors."

He catches Shepard's eyes. Her face is cold, brows drawn together into a frown, lips pressed into a thin line, but she nods at his suggestion.

"Joker, head back to the bridge. The rest of you, man your stations." Shepard shifts her weight onto her back foot, arms folded across her chest. Her voice is strong, ringing across the small room; another reminder of its emptiness. "They took my people. It's time to get them back."

"Aye, aye Commander," Joker salutes her as he eases down from the table, supporting himself with his other hand. "I'll plot a course for the Omega 4 relay. ETA…about 2 hours."

#

Two hours, Joker had said. It's less than two hours before they hit the Omega 4 relay for their 'suicide mission' now, yet the access panel for Shepard's cabin is red. Garrus doesn't even stop to think about her reasoning, hacking the lock in seconds.

The door slides open, the room beyond dimly lit. It's quiet; no music playing, just the bubbling of the fish tank and Shepard's soft breathing. Even the hamster is sitting quietly in his house, black eyes peering out at the intruder.

Garrus waits a moment to be acknowledged before giving up and stepping inside, bare feet clacking on the metal floor as he seals the door behind him.

He can smell her. Clean, freshly showered, she is lying back on her bed, wrapped in a fluffy white towel. But he can also smell alcohol – and lots of it. Soft blue light from the fish tank bathes her body, flickering shadows shifting as the fish move. Shepard herself is utterly still.

"The door was locked for a reason," she mutters, not breaking her gaze away from the ceiling. She's lying on top of the blankets, her limbs tense, and he notices her fingers tightening into fists.

Garrus navigates down the steps to her side, taking in the rucked sheets and the empty whiskey bottle next to the bed. "I figured it was an accident," he rumbles as he lies down next to her on the mattress, tugging a few pillows into place. "No reason to keep _me _out."

"You think?" Her laugh is bitter and she throws her arm over her eyes, leaning away from him. "How about we lost most of the crew because of my selfishness? How about almost losing the Normandy, Joker, _everything_ because I was too busy _fucking you!_ That a good enough reason for you?"

He flinches at the venom in her words, but slides closer so that he's lying alongside her, almost but not quite, touching. He reaches out with one hand, but even with her arm over her eyes, she shies away from him. The whiskey is strong on her breath, overpowering the floral scent of her hair.

"Don't," she says. "Don't touch me."

Lowering his hand, he watches her breathing, the slow rise and fall of her chest. He lies in silence, on his side, just watching her, waiting until she eventually drops her arm away from her eyes and rolls onto her side to look at him.

He hates the expression on her face; the frown line between her eyes, the way she chews her lower lip. He knows _exactly_ what she's feeling; the same feeling that has burned through his veins for most of his life.

"My whole life has been a failure," Garrus says, holding her gaze. "I feel like if I touch something good, it all falls apart. I told you about wanting to become a spectre, but I was young, stupid and I listened to my father and joined C-Sec instead – my first failure. Somehow, even though I love investigating, I still kept being unsuccessful there; couldn't pin anything on Saren because it was 'classified', then Saleon got away from the Citadel."

"You got him eventually," Shepard murmurs.

"Yeah, after I met this crazy human woman who didn't seem to understand what impossible means," he widens his mandibles at her. "She helped me fix some of my mistakes. Okay, I failed my father by leaving C-Sec but I got Saleon; then again, the idiot got himself killed before I could bring him to justice. But at least I was with her when she finally caught up to Saren. Still, that was _another _failure, finding out he'd been controlled by Sovereign the whole time."

"Garrus..." Shepard touches his cheek with a trembling hand. "That's not true."

He continues as if she hasn't spoken. "Then, one of the biggest failures in my life. That crazy human? She _died_. Nothing I could've done about it, perhaps, I don't know. I still think maybe, if I'd...." He blinks rapidly before continuing. "Anyway, when the council betrays her, betrays her memory - do I speak up? Do I use my newfound fame to refute their lies? No - I run away. The way a child would. Then I think that maybe by trying to emulate _her_ I can do something useful." He shrugs. "Of course, you know how that ended too."

"I don't understand... Why are you telling me...?" Her expression has changed, the line between her eyes still there, but an indication of confusion now, instead of anger. She drops her hand from his cheek.

"When I first realised how you felt, how _I_ felt, I thought I'd fail at that too. I sliced your arm open, and then you had that allergic reaction. I figured I'd ruined the only friendship in this galaxy that I gave a damn about. But instead, look at us."

She shakes her head, eyes still questioning.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is, out of everything I've done, all the mistakes, the failures of my life... this," he places a hand on her chest, just above her heart. Unlike earlier, when she flinched from him, she doesn't move away, her expressive eyes moist as she returns his gaze. "_This_, what we have now, it's the _only_ thing in my whole life that I _know _is right. I'll never regret a moment of it. Even with everything that's happened today, _this _is something good. Something _important_."

Emotions stream across her face, guilt, regret, sadness, but the anger is draining away; he can see the tension fading from her muscles, can feel her heart rate slowing under his hand. She bites her lower lip as she thinks.

"I don't know what's going to happen later, if any of us will even survive the trip through the relay," he continues as she shakes her head. "So I need you to know how I feel about us_ now_."

He places a hand gently on her shoulder. She stares at him, and for a moment he wonders if he's said too much, or if she's still thinking of the crew, hating him for being so selfish as to worry about himself at a time like this.

Her eyes are unreadable until she leans closer, her lips curving into a smile. "Sometimes, you shove a great, taloned foot into that dainty mouth of yours so far I think you'll choke on it. And then there are times, like now, when I could just _kiss_ you for what you say." She brushes her mouth against his. "Thank you, Garrus."

"Any time. I mean every word." He rests his forehead against hers, stroking a hand up her arm, slipping it inside the fluffy coat near her throat.

She turns her head, looking up at the ceiling again, humming to herself as he strokes her bare skin. He feels so happy to be with her, even now, with everything that's happened; he's content just being with her, at her side.

"As much as I hate Cerberus, I have a lot to thank them for," she says eventually. "I have no idea what I did to deserve another chance, but here I am."

He doesn't say anything, just lies beside her as she thinks out loud. "I saw their reports, on the Lazarus space station. I know what had happened to me. I saw pictures of the chunks of burnt meat and broken bones."

He's about to speak but she looks away from the ceiling and the pain in her eyes makes the words die, unspoken.

"I felt like Cerberus had stripped my humanity from me. I'd died a human, they've brought me back as...I don't even know _what_ I am. I'm like Saren, body stuffed with upgrades, not even sure if I'm _me_ anymore."

"Many biotics will have as many implants as you. It's not like _your_ cybernetics mean that you'll follow in Saren's footsteps, Shepard," Garrus argues.

"Really? I've got a geth on board, his people now indebted to me, the ship has an AI," her laugh is shaky, "I've even got a rachni queen at my disposal. I'm _worse_."

Garrus pulls his mandibles close in a frown. "Shepard, those cybernetics are making the most of your _physical_ body, they don't make you what you _are_. It's _you_, your character that counts. What did Chakwas say to me, never judge a cook by its cover?"

She grins at him then, seemingly unable to help the laughter that drives away her scowl. "Book, Garrus, it's book."

"Ah," his mandibles widen. "That makes more sense. I thought she'd just been on the brandy again." He mimes taking a drink.

She laughs again, and rolls closer to him. She looks serious as she gazes up at him. "Somehow, while fighting through all this chaos, I found you."

Garrus pulls her close, nuzzling her hair as she slides against him, slipping a leg between his. She kisses him, her movements more feverish than usual as she unfastens his trousers before pulling apart her fluffy coat.

"Please Garrus, love me," she groans against his mouth. "I need to feel alive right now."

He needs no more invitation, moving his hands to caress her everywhere, following them with his mouth, pressing his lips to her skin, licking and nipping all over her body. He pushes her onto her back with a growl, dipping his head between her legs.

But she pulls her knees together, a hand on his cowl pushing him back. He's surprised; he knows from her usual response that she loves this. He can spend hours pleasuring her with his mouth.

Shaking her head, lips pressed tightly together, she orders. "I need you _now_."

He uses his strong feet to push himself up the bed, rearing back to lift her ankles onto his shoulders. Leaning forward, he places a hand next to her head to balance himself as he thrusts into her. She grunts, caught off guard, throwing her head back against the pillows as he pulls out and then drives into her once more. She quickly adjusts, pushing back forcefully with her hips as his right hand grips her waist tightly. He bites into her calf, marking her skin possessively.

She bucks beneath him as she slides her legs from his shoulders, pushing against the bed with her feet as she uses his high centre of balance to flip him onto his back. Impatient, she doesn't pause at the change in position, riding him with desperation written all over her face. His own self control slips as he moves in time with her.

Normally, he is careful as he touches her, mindful of her soft skin and delicate bones. But from the look on her face, and the noises she's making, he knows that this roughness is what she needs. She wants to lose herself in the moment, to forget everything, the weight of command, the responsibility for her crew, as they move together.

They've never been this wild before, her cries wanton as his talons and teeth dig into her. She clenches around him and lights burst behind his eyes, his breathing hard and fast as he groans out her name. She calls out and collapses against his chest.

Curling up against him, her heart is beating frantically against his chest; both of them panting and covered in her sweat.

"That was... different. Amazing." She manages between breaths. "I've never seen you lose control like that."

"Thought that's what you wanted," he rumbles as he tries to slow his breathing.

"It was. Exactly what I needed," she murmurs, pressing her face against his chest, her hands entwining with his own talons.

"Is it always like this when you're in a relationship?" He asks her as they settle back together. "I feel so... comfortable, at peace, when I'm with you."

"No, I've never felt like this before." She kisses his chest, her fingers tightening. "Only with you, Garrus."

"I could get used to it," he says into her hair as he rubs his cheek on the top of her head.

"I know what we're about to do is seen as suicidal," her voice is soft, half muffled. "But I'm glad you're with me."

He continues to nuzzle her as he answers. "I'll always be here for you Shepard. I'll be right with you, watching your six. Even into the fences of hell."

He's not sure why she's laughing, her body shaking as she snorts and giggles against his chest, but he holds her tight, happy just to be here, his three fingers stroking her five as she laughs and laughs.

-------------------

_From the start of the fic I'd planned for the two hour gap to be pure fluff. All of her crew just got kidnapped, why would she want smexy time Bioware?_

_I had a load of dialogue planned, some fluffy snuggling - fade to black. Shepard? She has her dialogue, I move to fluffy snuggling & she's all - sod this I want my hot turian. #*&%$ characters who do their own thing... *sigh* Not that any of you guys will mind, I'm sure._


	34. Chapter 34 Suicide

**Suicide**

Shepard hates talking to the Illusive Man and puts it off as often as possible. There aren't many people in the universe who alarm her, but he does. It's not an unreasonable fear; he's knowingly sent her team into danger over and over again, and yet it's only through his efforts that she's alive at all.

Unlike the terminally ineffectual Council, he _is_ fighting the reapers, he _is_ making sure that she can continue her mission. The one she initiated with her investigation into the murder of the turian spectre Nihlus.

It's hypocritical considering she's made up of more cybernetics than flesh, but his prosthetic eyes unnerve her. She's half convinced that they're part of his overall persona – silver-grey hair, glowing blue eyes, and an incredibly expensive suit. His whole image screams money and power, not something that would normally bother her, but when she knows that he holds her team in the palm of his hand…

She stops daydreaming and listens as he discusses the upcoming trip through the relay; not exactly her first choice for good use of time before their suicide mission.

"I hate that we have to send you through blind, but we don't have much choice." He draws on a cigarette, the other hand dangling a whiskey glass.

"I'm not going through alone. I'm taking the best of the best with me, we'll make it." She knows she sounds defensive, and unfolds her arms, relaxing her clenched fists. It's annoying how easily he pushes her buttons.

"Knew we brought you back for a reason, I've never seen a better leader." He pauses to sip at his whiskey, swilling the amber drink as he lowers the glass. "Despite the dangers, we _must_ see this as an opportunity to be the first human ship through the relay."

"I'm going to stop the collectors' attacks on humanity - this isn't some _field trip_," Shepard reminds the holographic representation of the Cerberus leader.

"I just want you to know I appreciate the risk you're taking," his voice is soft, soothing. The modulated tones of a president; nothing she's ever said has provoked an emotional response from him. "Regardless of your opinion of Cerberus. Of me. You are a valuable asset to all of humanity. Be careful Shepard."

The hologram fades away and Shepard is left alone in the comm. room, the remnants of her crew scattered about the ship, awaiting her orders.

#

Shepard gazes at her team as they await her commands. They're deep inside the station, having fought through collectors, seeker swarms and a chamber of horrors; the pods from the collector ship, this time filled with colonists and her crew.

The chamber of horrors… Garrus had smashed pods with his fists, Thane using his rifle to open them, and people had slithering to the floor, gasping. Shepard will never forget looking into her eyes, watching her dissolving away. Shepard's gloves had slid on the strange resin, unable to crack it in time to help; in seconds it had been too late.

After that Samara had shielded them through the immense seeker swarms to the point of exhaustion, and now they're deep in the bowels of the ship. They've followed the cables and tubes from the pods towards this point, with the intention of finding out why the people had been kidnapped.

They stand below her as she outlines her plan, bloodied and tired. Miranda is gutshot, but she's leaning on Jacob, doped up on painkillers and determined to go on. Mordin has escorted the remains of the crew back to the Normandy, safely out of the way of the fighting. Shepard had tried to convince the exhausted justicar to accompany him, but she had refused.

Zaeed and Garrus are to go with her, everyone else staying to hold back the collectors massing behind the doors.

"I'm ready." Zaeed steps up to her left side, his assault rifle in his hand.

She looks at the old bounty hunter; skilled, experienced, expendable.

Garrus moves to the other side, sniper rifle in hand, one eye obscured by his eyepiece. "Same here. Right behind you, Shepard," he rumbles.

Definitely not expendable, but she can't imagine going into battle without him.

"Move out." Shepard nods to Miranda, eyeing her XO's stomach wound before stepping onto the mobile platform. A touch of the control panel and it's flying them into the heart of the station, where the myriad of pipes and ducts all come together.

She watches the team she's leaving behind as they hunker down into the scant cover, preparing for the impending attack. She knows they're heavily outnumbered, a handful against an entire station of collectors, but she has faith in them. They're her crew.

"I'll be a goddamned monkey's uncle." The awe in Zaeed's voice makes Shepard turn her head.

"Now we know what they needed all those people for," Garrus murmurs.

It's enormous, the _thing_ that the collectors are building. Part-synthetic, part-organic, it's a humanoid shaped reaper. It isn't finished; the pipes and ducts from the pods lead down towards it, funnelling the dissolved people from the pods above. Reduced from human beings to an organic soup to feed the beast.

Shepard half-listens to EDI as the AI scans and explains what the collectors are building, but all she can think about are the tens of thousands of people that must have been used to create it. Killed, dissolved - _skin melting, the flesh dripping off her bones as she screams for help._

"We need to take it down EDI. Tell me how," she interrupts the science lesson.

"Those are weak points," Garrus points to four hollow tubes supporting the incomplete monster. "Take those, I bet it'll fall."

"Officer Vakarian is correct," EDI confirms.

"Incoming, some old friends." Zaeed barks, crouching down as a platform spins in nearby, crawling with collectors.

Shepard concentrates her fire on the reaper's weak spots while Zaeed and Garrus clear the opposition. The indicator on her HUD informs her that she's running low on heat sinks; after the long mission, everyone else is likely to have the same issue.

"Concussive shot ready!" Garrus calls to Zaeed, the two men working closely to bring down their attackers.

"Two tubes down," Shepard blows a few hairs out of her eye, sweat trickling down the back of her neck. "Switching to heavy weapon."

"Miranda's down," Jacob's voice crackles over the intercom. "Pulling her to safety."

Shepard ignores the other team, concentrating on her beam weapon as it cuts through the supports with ease. Only half a clip left though…

"Firing a high impact shot." Garrus nods to Zaeed, both men pushing forward, driving the remnants of their attackers back. Their experience shows as they slink between patches of cover, consistently taking down an enemy before moving on to a new target, never slowing down or letting them regroup.

"Last support about to drop, get back here," she calls out.

Shepard notices that Garrus is favouring the leg he had surgery on. She tries not to think about it as she finishes cutting through the final support, but she's so angry with herself. All he'd needed was rest and she'd not even let him have that. Like a greedy child left alone in a candy store, she'd gorged herself on him with no thoughts for any long term consequences.

"Last one down," Zaeed comments as both men head back.

"For now, anyway," Garrus mutters as he picks his way across the platforms.

The last support snaps, the metal screeching as the human-reaper hangs for a moment before falling into the chasm below.

"First Saren, now the collectors. Remind me to never get on your bad side, Shepard. I almost feel sorry for the reapers..." Garrus says as he moves to her side and she gives him a tight smile. She wants to joke with him, celebrate their win but it's not over yet, they still have to get everyone out.

Zaeed peers over the edge, his back to her as he stares into the chasm below.

"Ground team, status report." She says.

"Thane here. We are holding, but they keep coming. A quick exit is preferable Siha." The drell sounds as calm as he always does, but the muted echo of the other team's anxious voices are clearly audible.

Shepard looks at Zaeed's back and makes a decision. "Thane, you guys head to the Normandy. Joker, prep the engines, we'll be with you in a minute. I'm about to overload this place and blow it sky high."

She's fitting the bomb to the platform's core when her intercom crackles and Joker announces "I've got an incoming signal from the Illusive Man."

Garrus flips open his omni-tool to display a hologram of the Cerberus leader.

"Shepard, you've done the impossible." There is excitement in his voice for the first time. Shepard raises an eyebrow as she looks at his avatar, wondering what could have cracked his cool demeanour.

"I'm part of a team. Some of them may have given their lives for this mission." She turns away from him to continue her work on the bomb.

"I know, their sacrifices will not be forgotten. You did what you had to do, and you acquired the collector base. A timed radiation pulse would kill any remaining collectors but leave the base and machinery intact." He holds up his fist, his exhilaration bursting out. "This is our _chance_. They were building a reaper, that knowledge could _save_ us."

Shepard finishes her task before standing, wiping her hands on her armoured thighs. "They _liquefied _people. Turned them into something horrible. We have to _destroy_ it."

"My goal is to save humanity at any cost." The Illusive Man's avatar flickers as he shakes his head. "Don't be short-sighted…"

"We'll fight and win without it. I won't let fear compromise who I am. Next thing I'll hear is that Cerberus is growing its _own_ reaper." She raises her eyes to Garrus who nods, understanding her intentions.

"Think about what's at stake -" The image shimmers and disappears as Garrus cuts the connection.

"_That's_ the Illusive Man?" Garrus snorts. "He sure likes the sound of his own voice."

"You have _no_ idea." Shepard squats to inspect the bomb one last time. "Let's move. We have ten minutes before this blows the whole station apart."

As she stands, she notices Zaeed staggering away from the platform edge, pulling his assault rifle from behind his back. He's barely taken two steps backwards when the human-reaper rears up from the darkness, long, unfinished arms flailing for purchase.

"Shepard," Garrus has taken cover beside her. "Weak spots at the eyes and chest."

"Got it," she's already moving closer, avoiding the giant hands smashing into the platforms. "Zaeed, I'll cover you while you pull back, you're too close to the edge."

"On it." The older man retreats, firing short bursts at the creature as he runs. A hand smashes down near to where he'd been standing, flipping the floating platform and sending it spinning off into the distance. "On it faster," Zaeed comments as he backpedals.

Beside her, Shepard hears Garrus aiming shot after shot at the weak spots, his breathing slow as he concentrates on his targets.

The reaper pauses, its open mouth revealing a cavernous hole. Shepard aims her rifle at the gap, watching its internal organics shred under her assault.

Zaeed is dropping into cover beside her as, with a cry, the reaper blasts a wave of pure energy over the battlefield. "Hit, goddamn it. Shields down," Zaeed growls as he throws himself to the floor. His armour is smoking and he continues to swear.

"Almost there," Garrus almost croons as he continues to snipe. Organic materials are dripping down the construct, and its movements seem to be growing weaker.

Shepard's not sure if it's sentient yet, or if this is some kind of instinctual grasp for life. Shouldering the beam weapon salvaged from the collectors, she aims at a gaping outlet in its chest. The beam slices through the reaper's structure, causing the creature to topple, its giant hands clutching at their platform as it wavers, trying to hold on. Garrus fires again, and that final shot seems to tip the creature over the edge, life draining from it as it falls backwards with a despairing roar.

Its hand still grips the floating platforms, causing the whole structure to shake; one of the platforms breaks off, tumbling backwards. The platform they're on tilts to the right, the flight motors screaming in protest. At her side, Garrus slips away, his talons scrabbling ineffectually at the metal flooring. Without a thought, Shepard kicks against her cover, her armoured body almost frictionless as she slides towards him. But they're moving at the same speed, his hand just outside her reach as he progresses closer and closer to the abyss below.

"Hold on Garrus," she shouts, watching as the turian's legs slide over the edge. Three fingers grip the lip of the platform, gloved hand slipping. She braces her legs as she leans over the edge and grasps his wrist.

"Shit, you're too heavy," she screams in frustration, bringing her other hand down to hold on. "I can't…"

They stare at each other in silence, his body dangling over blackness as he slips, millimetre by slow millimetre, towards the waiting abyss.


	35. Chapter 35 Epilogue

**Harbinger**

Shepard is barely hanging onto Garrus as his weight pulls him down. He's looking up at her, his blue eyes intense as he slips away bit by bit. Their metal gloves are slick against each other, providing too little purchase to hold him for much longer.

"Jane, I…"

A black and orange gloved hand reaches past her to grip Garrus' wrist. Zaeed grunts as he pulls, adding his other hand to aid their efforts. Shepard braces her feet on the wobbling platform and leans back, using her whole body weight as she pulls as hard as she can.

Between them they pull the fully armoured turian slowly upwards, allowing Garrus to hook his free arm on the rim. A few strenuous moments later and all three of them are lying in a heap, panting from their efforts.

"Commander? Commander? Do you copy?" Joker's worried voice crackles over her intercom.

"I'm here," she assesses the two men lying with her. "We're fine. Did the ground team make it?"

There's a moments silence before Joker replies. "The... uh... survivors are on board, we're just waiting for your team."

"We're incoming," she pushes herself to her feet, checking her armour and weapons without thinking. Zaeed and Garrus are also standing, the latter limping slightly.

"Shepard," the bounty hunter's deep voice growls her name. "More of those damned swarms."

He's pointing deeper into the ship, past the remains of the human-reaper supports. A cloud of insects swirl in the distance, moving like an enormous flock of birds as they shift and circle.

"Let's move people," she yells as she starts to run. Her armour is heavy, her limbs slow to respond as they head along the rickety platforms back towards the Normandy.

She's running, her two men clearing the collectors ahead of them, when it hits her - a voice that slips into her mind as a cold mist. She recognises it, the reaper Harbinger, its voice crawling through her thoughts, tendrils spreading into her consciousness.

_H__uman, you've changed nothing._

Her step doesn't falter, keeping pace with the two soldiers ahead. More collectors appear from side rooms, or float down from above, but the intensity of the men's gunfire keeps their passage clear.

_Y__our species has the attention of those infinitely your greater._

A collector shoots at Garrus, the beam weapon scorching along his back. Shepard watches his shield flicker and fail, and she raises a palm and focuses her power, reaving the alien to suck its health into herself.

_That which you know as __'reapers' are your salvation through destruction._

An explosion rocks the ground, sending Garrus stumbling to his knees. Zaeed stops, one hand still aiming his assault rifle as he hauls the turian to his feet.

The Normandy is in sight now, hovering at the far end of the path. The airlock hisses open, Joker hanging onto the doorframe above him and shooting wildly at the collectors behind them. His gunfire sprays over their heads in all directions, but it causes their pursuers to pause.

Another explosion rocks the station, debris falling from the ceiling; Shepard stumbles as her boot clips a fallen rock. Zaeed has reached the ship, jumping the gap with ease. He turns, a hand outstretched to Garrus, but even with his injured leg, the distance is easy for the long-limbed turian to cross.

The station shakes again, another detonation from deep within. Shepard staggers, watching in horror as a beam falls from the ceiling, clipping away the edge of the path. It's too late to change her course, leaving her only one option, so she gathers her energy and leaps, arms and legs wind-milling as she dives towards the ship. It's so familiar, looking at Garrus, the open doorway and that feeling of failure as she falls - so close, but not close enough...

"Shepard!" Garrus throws himself forward, both arms stretched out towards her as he dives out of the doorway. His hands grasp her wrists, pulling her upwards. As he hauls her into the ship, she sees Thane and Grunt holding onto the turian's legs, keeping him in place.

He pulls her inside, wrapping his arms around her as Zaeed slams the airlock shut. She barely feels the Normandy move, but she's aware that Thane is barking orders to Joker.

"It was touch and go for a second," Garrus murmurs into her hair. "You caught me back there, so we were even. Now, with that save, I'm still one up on the saving scoreboard."

She can't help it, she almost sobs as she laughs, her face nestled against his soft throat. Around her she hears the other crew members moving, Grunt helping Zaeed up, Thane examining Garrus' leg, but she stays still, her racing heart finally slowing as she breathes his scent deep. She's trembling as the adrenaline wears off, barely able to lift her arms to reciprocate his caresses.

They did it – the impossible. They went through the omega 4 relay, destroyed the collectors' ship and station - and they _survived_.

#

**Epilogue**

Shepard can't help the smile on her face, even as she walks out of the comm. room through her badly damaged ship. Garrus follows beside her, his pleasure also evident.

"I didn't expect _that_," Garrus murmurs.

"What? The Illusive Man bringing up money _again_, or me ditching him and Cerberus?" She grins at him. "Damn that felt _good_. I've wanted to flip the finger at that man since he first spoke. Arrogant prick."

Garrus shakes his head, mandibles held wide. "Glad to hear you enjoyed it."

Ducking under some sparking wires, she nods to Grunt as he drags a damaged beam behind him. There's extensive damage all over the ship, with all mobile crewmembers working on repairs. The Normandy is limping towards the Citadel, but it'll take a while to get there.

"Shepard," Grunt turns to face her. "That was a fight worthy of a krogan. I stood on a pile of our enemies while they attacked. I kept my clan safe and I was blooded." He proudly shows off a healed scar on his cheek. "My only question is, what do we fight next?"

"How about you and Garrus spar?" Shepard eyes the turian beside her, watching his mandibles quiver. "He _nearly_ always beat Wrex."

"Shepard," Garrus shakes his head. "I don't know about fighting Grunt. He's the height of krogan genetics, I don't think it's a good idea..."

"Good, it is agreed. Once this menial work is completed, we will meet in the cargo bay," Grunt nods once before lumbering away, pulling the damaged slab of metal behind him.

"You," Shepard pokes Garrus in the chest, "are a con artist. He doesn't have a chance."

Garrus still has a smug grin on his face as they reach the pilot's chair. Joker hears their approach and spins around; he looks tired, shadows under his eyes, and he's favouring his right arm, but he's smiling at them.

"The happy couple. Good to see the collectors didn't interrupt the wedding plans."

Shepard laughs, slapping the arm of his chair gently. "Just postponed. I wouldn't miss you in a tuxedo for the world." She hears Garrus huff beside her as she catches Joker's eye, causing both humans to burst into laughter.

The room is lit with a soft blue glow as EDI pops out of her terminal. "Shepard, I do not have a wedding planned in your calendar. Have you neglected to...?"

"Just ignore the humans, EDI," Garrus drawls. "You'll find that anything descended from a monkey has a terrible sense of humour."

"Commander!" Joker looks incensed. "The monkey crack I can stand, coming from your pet budgie, but saying my sense of humour is _terrible_? I spend _days_ working on my gags."

"Is that why they're so out of date by the time you use them?" Garrus grins at the pilot.

Shepard shakes her head, walking away as Joker tries to explain to EDI what makes a good gag, and why nothing Garrus ever says could be misconstrued as funny.

"They get on better since she's had her restraints removed," Shepard says. "I can see why Mordin asked if the rumours were true."

"Rumours? Do I even want to know?" Garrus hits the elevator call button.

They enter the lift as she replies. "Not if it's anything like the advice booklets Mordin forwarded to me, no."

Garrus stares at her, his mouth open, and she can't help but laugh. "I'm guessing you know about those?" She asks.

"Yes, well, uh," Garrus rubs the back of his neck, his gaze flickering anywhere but her face. "I... damn that horny salarian."

They exit to the crew deck, moving directly to the medbay. Shepard nods to Thane as they pass; he's sitting talking to Kelly, one hand on her back. The medbay itself is filled to bursting, including Miranda lying off to one side, a datapad in hand while Jacob scurries around helping her co-ordinate repairs.

At the back of the room, Shepard recognises Hawthorne as he sobs, Crewman Goldstein holding him as he calls out one name, over and over. Shepard's smile fades; the one crew member she'd failed to rescue. Gabby. For a moment, Shepard is frozen, thinking of the engineers face, the fear in her eyes as she dissolves, her screaming growing weaker…

"Shepard!" Jacob calls out. "Got a minute?"

Shepard nods to the crewman nearest to her, the one with the relative on Horizon, moving towards Jacob and her XO. She hears Garrus stopping to talk to some of the other patients and is grateful to him.

"Jacob, Miranda. How are you doing?" She nods to them.

"Heard about the Illusive Man from Joker. Hell of a way to quit." Jacob crows, a huge grin on his face.

"It was the right thing to do. I took your advice, looked into the background of Cerberus. Spoke to Jacob." Miranda glances up at the man at her side. "Remember when you asked what I'd do if the Illusive Man countermanded your orders? I hope you know that I'm with you Shepard, all the way."

Shepard can't help but smile at the enthusiasm on their faces. "Good to hear. I'm glad we're on the same page." She squeezes Miranda's shoulder. "Once we're patched up, we can drop by Oriana if you like."

"Very much Shepard," Miranda nods. "Thank you."

Shepard excuses herself, making her way over to Doctor Chakwas. The older woman is sitting in her chair, peering at a chart on her terminal screen.

"Chakwas, how are you holding up?" Shepard drops into the chair next to her old friend, and leans forward, her elbows resting on her knees and her chin supported on her hands.

"Still shaken from the kidnapping. My history teacher told me all those alien abductions stories were faked - little did she know." Chakwas tries to smile, but Shepard can see the pain in her eyes. "If you hadn't come so quickly..." Chakwas blinks, tears welling up. "Thank you commander."

"I didn't save everyone," Shepard murmurs, looking across the room to Crewman Hawthorne.

"Don't blame yourself, Shepard. Joker told me how quickly you came for us. Both of you, you're the most true friends I've ever had."

Chakwas turns and wraps her arms around Shepard's shoulders. For a second she almost freezes, before she lifts her hands and rubs them over her friend's back.

"I'm glad you're still with us, doc," Shepard whispers. "Not sure how much fun picking on Joker would be without you around."

"Oh don't you worry, Shepard," Chakwas says as she leans back in her chair. "I'll be around for a long time now. _Someone_ has to patch you up every time your man bites a hole through your shoulder."

Shepard laughs, turning her head to look at Garrus. He's squatting nearby, balancing on his spurs to talk to an injured crewman on a makeshift bed. The burns on the human's face make it hard for her to identify him, but he's laughing and joking with the turian, obviously thrilled to get the attention of someone on the commander's core team.

She pats Chakwas' shoulder softly before stepping out to the mess hall. It's pretty quiet, most of the debris has been cleared and the only occupants of the floor are Thane and Kelly. She hesitates for a moment, but Thane indicates that she join them with an inclination of his head.

Shepard walks over, rubbing a hand across Kelly's shoulders. The young yeoman is subdued, her eyes red, but she's not crying.

"Commander," Thane tilts his head, studying her face. "Miss Chambers was just telling me about her experiences on the collector station. She believes that sharing information is a way for the mind to heal."

"You're a dear friend, Thane," Kelly pats his knee. "Commander, I'm _so_ thankful you came for us."

"I don't like to leave anyone behind Kelly. You might not all be part of the ground team, but you're my crew." Shepard squeezes the girls shoulder and nods to Thane. "I'm glad you have each other. Tell me if you need anything."

"Thank you Siha," Thane glances behind her at the same time as she recognises the sound of Garrus' footsteps. "Officer Vakarian."

"I never thanked you for helping me catch Shepard back there," Garrus rumbles to the drell. "I owe you."

"No thanks are needed. You are my friends. It is many years since I have had the opportunity to call anyone this." Thane's full lips curl into a smile. "Also, you did not rip off my face for my slip in calling Shepard 'Siha'."

"Was that a joke?" Garrus shakes his head, laughing softly. "Never knew you had it in you, Krios."

"I'm learning." Thane drops his eyes to direct his smile at Kelly.

Shepard moves on, pausing to help a younger Cerberus crewman to shift a broken metal panel. Garrus leans past her and lifts it with one hand, moving it as if it weighs nothing.

"Loverboy showing off the muscles for his woman, eh?" Zaeed is in the doorway, cigar clamped between his teeth, his hands full of engineering parts.

"I don't know, I think you did a pretty good job of that yourself on the station." Shepard nods to the bounty hunter. "Appreciate it."

"Not much worse than crying women." Zaeed sniffs as he passes her. "Didn't want my sleep disturbed."

"_Riiight_," Garrus drawls as he rejoins them. "And here's me thinking it was because we hadn't done that sniping competition I challenged you to."

"Hah, goddamned cheek. That's a sure thing anyway, you've got no hope," Zaeed's dry laugh echoes around the corridor. "Any time you're ready, _loverboy_."

The elevator takes them down a deck, the damage extensive on the engineering floor. The remains of the Oculus device that attacked the Normandy has been stored in the cargo bay for examination later. Right now there are holes ripped through the hull, shimmering blue shields the only barrier between life and death, and their repair takes priority.

Tali is lying half inside the engine core with Legion standing beside her legs, occasionally handing her tools.

"Shepard-commander. Officer Vakarian." Legion nods his head to them, his eyeflaps moving into his approximation of a frown. "Interesting choice. Your species was offered everything the geth aspire to – true unity. Understanding. Transcendence. You rejected it."

Shepard nods, crossing her arms as she looks at the geth. "The price was too high, Legion."

"You are more alike than we realised. This gives us much to consider." Legion looks down as Tali kicks his foot and holds up a hand, waving a tool. He swaps it for another tool, indistinguishable from the first to Shepard's eyes, before straightening again.

"Shepard?" Tali's soft voice reverberates through her speakers. "Legion told me what you did for his people. How the heretics have rejoined the geth on my homeworld."

"I'm sorry Tali. I know it might make getting home harder, but I couldn't wipe them out."

"I do understand." Tali sighs. "I… I need time to think. Perhaps it's for the best. Maybe it will stop the warmongers among my people, I don't know."

"I hope so," Garrus rumbles. "Because we just fought the collectors, the _minions_ of the reapers and look at the state of the ship. I hate to think what the reapers themselves will be like. We're going to need everyone we can get."

"I guess you're right," Tali shifts under the panel, her curved legs kicking as she moves. "Thanks Shepard."

"Anytime, Tali. Catch you later." Shepard moves to the stairs down, pausing when Garrus places a hand on her shoulder. They stop, listening.

It sounds like Donnelly is down in the depths of engineering where Jack usually lurks alone, talking.

"I can't believe Gabby is gone. We've been friends for so long." The man's Scottish burr has increased, his agitation deepening his accent.

"You said she didn't give up." Jack says. "That she fought to the end."

"I can still hear her coughs. Each one weaker than the last. But, those pods, I couldn't get out…"

Shepard backs away slowly, trying not to disturb them as she retreats with Garrus to the elevator. Head back, eyes closed, Shepard feels the lift moving up a floor. Garrus pulls on her arm, guiding her to the starboard observatory, one hand stroking her arm as they move.

"Shepard, it's all right, you…"

Garrus stops speaking as the doors slide open. Mordin and Samara are sitting in front of the wide window, Mordin on a couch, Samara floating beside him, leaning in close to talk. The salarian jumps, startled by the door. Samara recovers first, smiling and nodding her head. Mordin blinks rapidly before dropping his gaze to the floor.

"You did the right thing, commander." Samara says, her eyes glowing with biotic power. "The Illusive Man may think that he has the wisdom to utilise the base, but he does not. No more than he had the wisdom to realise what he restored by bringing you back to us."

"Thank you Samara," Shepard knows better than to question how the enigmatic asari knows what she's just done. "I just wanted to check in, see how you guys were holding up."

"Good, commander." Mordin perks up, holding up a datapad. "EDI provided much interesting data. Collating, sorting. Must spend time researching collectors. Perhaps reapers..."

Samara places a hand over Mordin's, her expression amused. "Once you have rested, remember? A rested soul is a contented soul."

"Ah, yes. Meditation. Samara," the salarian coos, looking at the beautiful justicar before he pauses and clears his throat. "Slowing of thoughts. No sensory input. Intriguing."

"And you, commander? You look… disturbed." Samara's keen gaze bores into Shepard.

"I…" She glances at Garrus, then the floor. "I'm fine thanks Samara. Just need to speak to a few crewmen about what happened. About Gabby."

"Would you like me to accompany you, commander? I have experience in talking to the grieving, I offer my help."

"No, that's…" The image of Hawthorne's face flashes into her mind, the sound of Donnelly's sobs. She takes a deep breath and straightens her shoulders. "Yes, thank you Samara. I appreciate your offer."

#

As Samara whispers to Mordin, excusing herself, Garrus pulls Shepard close. He slides a hand around the back of her neck, dropping his forehead down to hers. He feels her cool skin beneath his hands, the scent of her hair in his nostrils. They stand like that for a moment, eyes closed, breathing synchronised, before he drops his hands and widens his mandibles at her.

"See you soon Shepard - I'll go help out with the cleanup work. Muscles like these are too good to waste, apparently," he rumbles to her, flexing an arm.

"Thank you, Garrus," her smile is radiant. Something he'll never get tired of.

He watches Shepard follow the justicar out of the room, beautiful rounded hips swaying as she walks, all signs of battle fatigue gone.

"Officer Vakarian," Mordin interrupts his thoughts.

Garrus waits a moment more, watching the last sight of her before the doors close. With a satisfied sigh, he turns to face the salarian. "Mordin," he nods to the doctor.

"Noted gesture. Forehead to forehead. Interesting fact. Sign of turian life bond." Mordin presses one thin finger to his chin as he speaks. "Commander Shepard, understands meaning of gesture? Knows turians mate for life?"

Garrus shakes his head, a low growl in his chest. "I see no reason to burden her with that knowledge. She'll stay with me for as long as she needs me. That's enough."

"Ah… Understand concept. Noble sacrifice." Mordin nods rapidly, a small smile on his lips. "Very… romantic."

"Hey, keep it down doc," Garrus glances over his shoulder to the doorway. "I have a badass reputation to uphold."

* * *

_I'll be starting a new story soon, one offs that happened in this story that we never had time to cover – How __drunk did Tali get and what did Kal do? What war stories did Garrus and Zaeed share? How did Kaidan & Dr Michel's date go?_

_If there are any other scenes you'd like to know more about, you know the drill, tell me in your review & I'll add it to the ever growing list :) If you'd like to read it, keep an eye out for 'Deleted Scenes' – or put me on author alert. *Coming soon* _

_**Major kudos**__ to my patient beta Zephyr5* who dealt with at least a hundred mistakes daily & finally – thanks to you guys for reading the whole thing & giving me so much feedback:) You rock._

_*a hardened Shenko who wouldn't let Garrus punch Kaidan. Thank goodness for the planned 'Deleted Scene' Kaidan & Garrus sparring match…_


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